Service bus myths...

[pompeyfan]

When a driver shouts down the bus and asks all standing passengers to move down the bus, it's completely acceptable to just stand there and look at fellow standing passengers and expect them to move up instead...

 

[tom1649]

The bus is late because the driver has been waiting around the corner for 10 minutes reading the paper.

This actually regularly happened on one of the services I used to catch about 10 years ago, except the regular driver did it in full view of the passengers waiting in the bus station. He would then drive like a maniac trying to catch up with the timetable!

 

[howittpie]

When bus fares increase it is the drivers fault and they decide the fares

If you are a passenger with a pushchair that a wheelchair user can hop out of there wheelchair fold it and walk on to the bus.

 

[starrymarkb]

I did once get an old bat* with shopping trolley complaining that the wheelchair space was occupied by someone in a wheelchair and as a result there was no where to put a large shopping trolley...


*insulting to bats I know, this person was not at all nice.

 

[christopher]

As soon as someone falls off a open platform bus it automatically makes them all more dangerous than a nuclear bomb strapped to a rat and they should therefore all be taken off the road.

:roll:

 

[alexf380]

The bus is a perfectly acceptable place for you to make out with your girlfriend, and the other passengers really want to get a good look at it

All buses everywhere give change, so there is a point in asking

It is entirely Lothian Buses' fault if the next bus is 41 minutes away on a 30 minute frequency and congestion/road works/passenger loadings has absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

[quarella]

When bus fares increase it is the drivers fault and they decide the fares

The driver will find it hilarious when you say "I don't want to buy the bus."
This must also be used for your annual bus trip when the car is in for a service

In times of disruption and unexpected diversions it's completely reasonable to expect someone from the company or police/local authority to go and be at every stop to make passengers aware of the disruption.

If you have not been personally told when the bus does appear you must then spend several minutes complaining about the fact the bus is late whilst keeping one foot on the pavement preventing the bus from moving.

The numbers and placenames that appear on the front, side and back of buses are just for internal reference purposes and don't mean anything to passengers.

Must be train passengers used to inaccurate destinations being displayed.

If you're a 17 year old lady, your half fare pass expired on 15th Sep 2013, you can still travel for half fare on 3rd Oct as long as you smile and flirt.

To be used on a Saturday night after consuming a couple of WKDs on the way to a nightclub.


Bus drivers are hard of hearing so make sure you press the bell multiple times to be sure they have heard it.

 

[Eagle]

It is entirely Lothian Buses' fault if the next bus is 41 minutes away on a 30 minute frequency and congestion/road works/passenger loadings has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Didn't you know? Lothian are completely responsible for the daily-changing road closures and diversions around Edinburgh.

Well, the city council are, and they're the majority owners of Lothian, so close enough.

 

[David Barrett]

All bus timetables are formulated in the knowledge that they are realistic and entirely workable.

The convenience of and service to the user is the first priority of the bus company.

 

[starrymarkb]

Didn't you know? Lothian are completely responsible for the daily-changing road closures and diversions around Edinburgh.

Well, the city council are, and they're the majority owners of Lothian, so close enough.

I've had that one too, apparently the bus company ordered the police to close the road (didn't find out why) just to annoy this old lady who then had to cross a road unaided to reach the supermarket.

 

[Eagle]

All bus timetables are formulated in the knowledge that they are realistic and entirely workable.

The convenience of and service to the user is the first priority of the bus company.

Here's one:

Adding a few minutes of recovery time here and there in a timetable for a rural route that's mainly on quiet 60 mph roads, with nowhere to pull over if the bus becomes early, is definitely a good idea. Witness the Damory 184 for a good example of this. (My personal record is eight minutes early southbound at the Farquharson in Pimperne, my usual stop.)

 

[moogal]

Each person wanting to get off must individually press the bell several times, else the driver won't know to stop.

- or -

Don't worry about pressing the bell, the driver knows exactly where you plan to get off, and has just passed your stop out of spite.

 

[90019]

Each person wanting to get off must individually press the bell several times, else the driver won't know to stop.

- or -

Don't worry about pressing the bell, the driver knows exactly where you plan to get off, and has just passed your stop out of spite.

Along the same lines, there's no need to make it clear whether you want on the bus at a stop or not, and even standing in the shelter out of sight is absolutely fine, because all bus drivers are psychic and know exactly who wants on and off at every stop.

 

[Yew]

It is entirely acceptable for busses not to give change.

(Seriously, that is a thing I truly despise in bus operators)

 

[bb21]

It is entirely fine to smoke upstairs, because Butler says so.

 

[dvboy]

The bus won't stop at its terminus unless you press the bell.

 

[SWTH]

It is entirely acceptable for busses not to give change.

(Seriously, that is a thing I truly despise in bus operators)

Buses are actually mobile banks. It's perfectly acceptable to jump on with a £20 for a £1.80 fare, and when the driver runs out of change thanks to all the £10's & £20's they have been given, they can just ring though to a hidden back office in the engine compartment for more change to be brought to the cab....

 

[howittpie]

It perfectly acceptable to finish the conversation with your friend on the pavement when the driver is trying to shut the doors and depart.

or

It is perfectly acceptable for you to finish your phone conversation when boarding a bus and for everyone to wait until this happens before you sort your fare or pass out.

 

[David Barrett]

The time stated in the timetable is several miniutes before the latest possible time for intending passengers to turn up, not the time that the bus should be departing.

Before moving away from the stop the driver checks his wing mirrors to see if anyone is running for the bus.

 

[Eagle]

Myth: if the town council happens to close the high street for whatever event or market they want to run, they are not obliged to tell the bus companies the start and end times of the road closure. Because, you know, the bus driver can always just go and check to see if the road is open.

 

[455driver]

Fined £1000? The driver can go back forward onto the stand though, in cases of it being last bus of the day or a very long wait for the next bus

Nope once the bus has started to reverse thats it, if the passenger cant get there in time whose fault is that?

 

[90019]

It is entirely reasonable to expect me to know every street in the whole of Edinburgh and to get stroppy when I don't know. If you get on my bus and just blurt out a street name, I should immedately know exactly where it is, whether you can get there on my bus and if not, which bus to get.

 

[gnolife]

Myth: A ticket that says System One Any Bus is accepted on any bus company that makes a journey between two points in Greater Manchester.
(This myth does not apply to the clearly advertised exceptions that apply to the Transdev buses from Manchester to Nelson and Blackburn)

 

[pompeyfan]

It's the drivers fault if he is allocated an inaccessible step dart, as when he went in to the depot that morning he specifically asked for that bus, just to cause maximum irritation to joe and Janet public...

Services that don't break even and are only used by pass holders deserve nicer and bigger buses then the depots flagship routes.

 

[Welshman]

If someone has already rung the bell to request the driver stop at the next stop, it is imperative that other passengers intending to alight at the same stop should ring the bell also, as some drivers think they are not obliged to stop if there are fewer than 5 passengers wishing to alight.

 

[DelayRepay]

It is fine to leave your half eaten sandwich, crisp wrapper, coffee cup etc on the seat or floor, as the on board host will be along shortly to clean it up.

All the other passengers hate travelling in silence so you are doing them a favour by broadcasting the content of your ipod.

Bus stops are just a guide, the driver is actually allowed to stop where ever someone wants to get on or off, even if it's in the middle of the road.

The bus driver chooses the route himself and should have realised that it would be quicker to go round the ring-road rather than trying to get through the centre of town at rush hour.

The bus driver is actually employed by the Tourist Information Centre and part of his job is to direct people to the nearest bank, chemist, tell them what time their train is due etc.

The sign saying "No hot food" only applies to other people.

 

[Liam]

Limited stop services actually stop everywhere if you ask the driver. The driver is just being a w***** if he/she doesn't stop where you ask.

 

[kevjs]

The bus won't stop at its terminus unless you press the bell.

Alas that one is true... Been the passenger on that one expecting the driver to pull in the terminus but instead he goes straight to the lights (at which point he'd pick up the main road the get back to the depot) - fortunately where he let me off (the next stop on the longer route - most buses now go pass the terminus, back then only a few peak time ones did) was nearer to home than I expected

 

[W-on-Sea]

Bus operators will take care to ensure that up-to-date and accurate and generally correct timetables are provided at bus stops en route, and will inform, by means of posters at bus stops and on buses, of forthcoming service changes in good time.

(THAMES TRAVEL - I'm looking at you. You never do any of these things.)

 

[mainframe444]

Limited stop services actually stop everywhere if you ask the driver. The driver is just being a w***** if he/she doesn't stop where you ask.

Having operated limited stop services in the past, I would have been a rich man if I'd got £10 every time a passenger wanted to get off where we did not stop, and said "well, all the other drivers stop here".....