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The "And in other news..." thread

fowler9

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I don't know where she was from but it would help if she had better than pigeon English in court.
 
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fowler9

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Who knows. She could be outside court Puffin on a ciggy wondering what to do next.
 

Cowley

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Maybe in court she'll say "Sorry mallard, I'd seen someone do something similar in a tweet once and thought it would be funny".
 

AlterEgo

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We'll have to stop this now as the last two posts have been repeats of earlier puns, which is a bit hawkward. It's been emusing while it's lasted, some of the jokes were the best I'feather seen.
 

DaleCooper

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We'll have to stop this now as the last two posts have been repeats of earlier puns, which is a bit hawkward. It's been emusing while it's lasted, some of the jokes were the best I'feather seen.

Before we move on to a new subject I'd just like to point out that she couldn't be charged with jaywalking.
 

edwin_m

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And in other news, we learn in the context of a more controversial topic, that:

Westminster Council's own planning guidelines state Parliament Square - home to 11 statues - is within the "monument saturation zone, considered unsuitable for new memorials
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-40529770

I suggest a "monument saturation zone" is well on the way to the "shoe event horizon".

The foundation of the Shoe Event Horizon theory is that when depressed, people tend to look down, and when they look down, they see their shoes. To cheer themselves up, they might buy themselves a new pair. Thus, in a generally depressed society, demand for shoes will rise. ... Eventually, this destabilizes the economy to the point where it is "no longer economically viable to build anything other than shoe shops", and planetary society collapses.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Places_in_The_Hitchhiker's_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Shoe_Event_Horizon
 

DaleCooper

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Man trapped in Texas cash machine sends 'help me' notes

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-40589631

A Texas man who found himself trapped inside a cash machine slipped "help me" notes through the receipt slot.
The man, who police say was working on a renovation of the bank, left his phone in his vehicle before getting stuck in the drive-thru ATM's vault.
The unnamed workman was freed after shouting to ATM users, who continued withdrawing cash throughout his ordeal on Wednesday in Corpus Christi.
Police thought it a hoax before kicking in a door to withdraw him.
I always suspected there was a little man inside them.
 

Cowley

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I got stuck in the toilet of a hotel I was painting once. There was no door handle and I somehow kicked the door stop away when I was painting the ceiling. There was nobody around and I had to phone another customer of mine who had a number for the guy that owned the hotel who then got hold of the builder who let me out.
I was in there for half an hour, quite relaxing really.
 

Trainfan344

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Couple knock themselves out attempting "that" dance from Dirty Dancing

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-40598537

A couple knocked themselves unconscious practising a lift from the Dirty Dancing film for their wedding.
Sharon Price and fiance Andy Price were trying to recreate a scene from the 80s film, in a pub garden in Weston-super-Mare in Somerset, at the weekend.
Mr Price said: "We were about 30ft apart and Sharon ran and I grabbed her hips and the next thing we knew we were flat out on the floor."
The couple, who are marrying next year, are now planning a slow dance.
 

edwin_m

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I got stuck in the toilet of a hotel I was painting once. There was no door handle and I somehow kicked the door stop away when I was painting the ceiling. There was nobody around and I had to phone another customer of mine who had a number for the guy that owned the hotel who then got hold of the builder who let me out.
I was in there for half an hour, quite relaxing really.

That reminds me of when I was locked in the bathroom of the house I was about to move into, having closed the door without realising the decorator had removed the outside handle including the spindle that would allow the inside handle to operate the latch. Fortunately the spindle was in the room so I was able to pull the inside handle off, insert the spindle and use the remains of the handle to open the door.
 

GusB

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I got stuck in the toilet of a hotel I was painting once. There was no door handle and I somehow kicked the door stop away when I was painting the ceiling. There was nobody around and I had to phone another customer of mine who had a number for the guy that owned the hotel who then got hold of the builder who let me out.
I was in there for half an hour, quite relaxing really.

"Oh dear, what can the matter be....?"
 

Cowley

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No they've just moved to the "Random thoughts..." thread.

Those puns do seem to get around.

Talking of other news though. What do people think about the top earners of the BBC having their salaries published?
Chris Evans is reportedly earning 2.2 million a year. I'd get up early for that.
Jeremy Vine £750k a year etc.

I love the BBC personally and I think the world would be a poorer place without it, although it does have its faults.
 

DaleCooper

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Those puns do seem to get around.

Talking of other news though. What do people think about the top earners of the BBC having their salaries published?
Chris Evans is reportedly earning 2.2 million a year. I'd get up early for that.
Jeremy Vine £750k a year etc.

I love the BBC personally and I think the world would be a poorer place without it, although it does have its faults.

Not only does Chris Evans get £2.2M from the BBC he also makes a fortune as Captain America.
 

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