cjp
Member
What do you call two thieves?
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A pair of knickers.
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A pair of knickers.
A variation on that joke appeared on Just A Minute earlier this series!My current favourite joke concerns a job applicant at an interview:
Interviewer: "What would you say is your greatest weakness?"
Applicant: "Hmm...well, it's probably that I'm extremely honest."
Interviewer: "Really? I'm not sure that I'd consider that to be a weakness."
Applicant: "Well I don't give a damn what you think."
I'm not reading all 35 pages, so I hope this isn't here already.
A Red Indian chief had three squaws, or wives. One of them was his favourite and she knew it. Everybody in the tribe slept on a buffalo hide, but the no. 1 wife told the chief she wanted a hippopotamus hide. He thought so much of her that he managed to obtain one, so she happily slept on that every night.
A few months later it became clear that all three squaws were pregnant. The chief hoped he would get three sons [It was a male-dominated society. It wasn't very PC either, as you may have noticed.] Eventually, one evening one of the other two squaws gave birth....and it was a boy. Everyone was very pleased. The next day the other no.2 squaw gave birth, and it was twin boys. Huge celebrations. Everybody was waiting to see what the no. 1 squaw would provide.
And two days later, she produced...triplets. Three little boys. The chief was ecstatic.
Which proves that the squaw on the hippopotamus equals the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
Reminds me of the time someone nicked my valedictory address . I was left speechless.I recently purchased a thesaurus from Amazon, when it arrived every page was blank
I have no words to express how angry I am
...which reminds me of the joke about the inventor of the Stannah stair lift:I was asked to fix the mother in law's gas boiler I hope she will be over the moon
The same theives broke into the dog training school and stole all their harnesses. The Police said they had no leads.Thieves broke into a mobile police unit and stole their Elsan
A spokesman said that they had nothing to go on
They also stole a statue, leaving a big hole... police are looking into it.The same theives broke into the dog training school and stole all their harnesses. The Police said they had no leads.
That's cleverI got sent this off a friend yesterday
WARNING: If you get a link called 'free porn' dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it. Plaese warm yu frends!
Oh... bigger!
How much bigger is it?Oh... bigger!
I see what you did there, very clever
Oh... bigger!