If you could make an announcement or play anything at any station over the tannoy what would it be?

[175mph]

Sometimes, when I have been at a large station such as Doncaster, and heard the announcements about the trains coming or have been delayed/canceled etc, I've wished I could make my own announcement or play some music for fun.

I understand that for obvious reasons, this would never, ever be allowed, but if you could, what would you say or what music would you play over the announcement system?

Here is what I would play (Cope Land - "Celestial Plains" (PS1 Spyro Style Remake for anyone who cannot access YouTube due to network restrictions):

 

[Bletchleyite]

"Birmingham New St" by M J Hibbett and the Validators at, er, Birmingham New St. (If you haven't heard it, you need to, even if the song describes the old station and not the current one!)

"London Underground" by Adam Kay and Suman Biswas at any Tube station. (I don't agree with the sentiments in it, but it is just my childish side there! )

 

[cin88]

Stockport alledgedly tested their PA one night by playing "Baby Shark". According to a BTP officer I was talking to when I was on nights earlier in the year.

 

[_toommm_]

Crewe tend to play snippets of music after about 9pm. Certainly makes waiting for a delayed Caledonian Sleeper more entertaining

 

[dgl]

Over the "Tannoy" (yes it should be spelt with a capitol T being a brand name), I think Trans Europe Express, or Locomotion from OMD. Or announce every train as leaving from the wrong platform and watch the panic that ensues.

 

[LewFinnis]

Going back a few decades, 'Oh Mr Porter, what can I do?' etc.

 

[AlastairFraser]

"Birmingham New St" by M J Hibbett and the Validators at, er, Birmingham New St. (If you haven't heard it, you need to, even if the song describes the old station and not the current one!)

"London Underground" by Adam Kay and Suman Biswas at any Tube station. (I don't agree with the sentiments in it, but it is just my childish side there! )

No! Then we'd have even more strikes and they'd affect the Tube

 

[Ianno87]

Benny Hill show theme tune at somewhere like London Bridge. Just to see if makes people walk around faster.


Or something for everyone to sing along to whilst waiting to lift the sprits. Like 'Don't Look Back in Anger' by Oasis.

 

[martinsh]

"Waterloo Sunset" by the Kinks ...

 

[175mph]

I forgot to add as well, if a train was delayed or canceled, I'd play this:

 

[185143]

Benny Hill show theme tune at somewhere like London Bridge. Just to see if makes people walk around faster.


Or something for everyone to sing along to whilst waiting to lift the sprits. Like 'Don't Look Back in Anger' by Oasis.

That happened at Manchester Piccadilly!
22nd May this year, after a minute silence in memorial of the 22 victims of the Arena terror attack 2 years ago.

 

[175mph]

That happened at Manchester Piccadilly!
22nd May this year, after a minute silence in memorial of the 22 victims of the Arena terror attack 2 years ago.

Where have those two years gone?

 

[fusionblue]

My local Asda has bird tweeting sounds from its tannoy, though i'm not sure why. Lets annoy everybody and put it at every station, at full volume.

 

[Bantamzen]

At some bus stations classical music is played to try and help create a more calming ambience, and reduce anti-social behaviour. Could this work at railway stations?

 

[Bletchleyite]

At some bus stations classical music is played to try and help create a more calming ambience, and reduce anti-social behaviour. Could this work at railway stations?

Two places I know of do this that have rails, and it does seem to work - Euston Square LU and Hamburg Hauptbahnhof-Nord U-Bahn.

 

[krus_aragon]

Where have those two years gone?

Don't look back in, er, anger, though...

 

[Harpers Tate]

"The next train to arrive at Platform 3B is the 1042 TransPennine Express service to Manchester Airport. This train is formed of insufficient coaches."

 

[Bletchleyite]

"The next train to arrive at Platform 3B is the 1042 TransPennine Express service to Manchester Airport. This train is formed of insufficient coaches."

Until Manchester Piccadilly, after which please spread out and enjoy your private carriage.

 

[Harpers Tate]

True - but TPE was intended just as an example. One could probably validly announce most XC services in this manner most of the time, never mind Northern (at the "wrong" times of day and/or if anything special is afoot).

 

[cin88]

That happened at Manchester Piccadilly!
22nd May this year, after a minute silence in memorial of the 22 victims of the Arena terror attack 2 years ago.

I didn't do it on that occassion but I had the honour of announcing a minute's silence for the Arena attack twice in my 18 months at Piccadilly followed by playing "Don't Look Back in Anger". By far the hardest announcements I ever had to make, and I used to announce the Tenby manually* in full to show off to visitors!

I also announced the naming of 390001 "Bee Together" which included the first 30 seconds of "Don't Look Back in Anger".

*Manually announcing the Tenby was/is considered the hardest train announcement at Piccadilly, especially for new starters.

 

[krus_aragon]

*Manually announcing the Tenby was/is considered the hardest train announcement at Piccadilly, especially for new starters.

Mind you don't get too proud*, or they'll divert it via the Heart of Wales line and give your jaw a real workout!

*I'm sure you never would

 

[cin88]

Mind you don't get too proud*, or they'll divert it via the Heart of Wales line and give your jaw a real workout!

*I'm sure you never would

Luckily it's none of my concern anymore as i've moved on Wem was the one that got me as a new starter, it's always the easy names that trip you up. Huddersfield was "Huddersfeed" a few times too

 

[Bletchleyite]

*Manually announcing the Tenby was/is considered the hardest train announcement at Piccadilly, especially for new starters.

But can you, like the guy who did it in the 1990s, do all stations from Wigan to Southport in one breath?

"Gathurstappleybridgeparboldhoscarburscoughbridgenewlanebescarlanemeolscopansouthport" seemed like one station...

 

[cin88]

But can you, like the guy who did it in the 1990s, do all stations from Wigan to Southport in one breath?

"Gathurstappleybridgeparboldhoscarburscoughbridgenewlanebescarlanemeolscopansouthport" seemed like one station...

No, but for a month or so after I'd passed out I would frequently get told off for announcing calling patterns way too fast.

 

[Ianno87]

But can you, like the guy who did it in the 1990s, do all stations from Wigan to Southport in one breath?

"Gathurstappleybridgeparboldhoscarburscoughbridgenewlanebescarlanemeolscopansouthport" seemed like one station...

Salford Crescent had a belter:
"Platformonethevictoriatraaaaiiiinsalfordcentralmanchestervictoria"

 

[eastwestdivide]

Over the "Tannoy" (yes it should be spelt with a capitol T being a brand name), I think Trans Europe Express, or Locomotion from OMD. Or announce every train as leaving from the wrong platform and watch the panic that ensues.

Muphry's Law in action there: all corrections will contain at least one further error (or google it for a longer definition).

As for what I'd play over the loudspeakers, at times of disruption: "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from Monty Python.
Otherwise, some muzak or the sound of a hoover [smiley face with sly grin and raised eyebrow]

 

[Bletchleyite]

Salford Crescent had a belter:
"Platformonethevictoriatraaaaiiiinsalfordcentralmanchestervictoria"

Am I the only one who read that in their head with a Liam Gallagher accent?

 

[185143]

I didn't do it on that occassion but I had the honour of announcing a minute's silence for the Arena attack twice in my 18 months at Piccadilly followed by playing "Don't Look Back in Anger". By far the hardest announcements I ever had to make, and I used to announce the Tenby manually* in full to show off to visitors!

I also announced the naming of 390001 "Bee Together" which included the first 30 seconds of "Don't Look Back in Anger".

*Manually announcing the Tenby was/is considered the hardest train announcement at Piccadilly, especially for new starters.

Could be worse. We could have direct trains to LlanfairPG...

 

[mm333]

I like selecting eclectic favourites and requesting them on the free jukebox by the main St Pancras entrance to St Pancras. 'Doop', the theme from 'Howard's Way', 'MacArthur Park' by Richard Harris and 'Last Train to London' by ELO have been recent tunes I've subjected passing passengers to.

 

[Tracked]

I'd like to play 4'33 by John Cage over the Tannoy at Chesterfield, or more accurately, I'd like East Midland Trains to do so once in a while