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UK Euphemisms

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PG

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I thought a list of euphemisms wouldn't go amiss. Apologies if a similar thread already exists but I couldn't find one.

To start us off here's one usually reserved for use describing MPs or senior management types:

Resigned to spend more time with their family = Have done something so bad that they left before we fired them
 
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PeterC

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Has the prime minister's full confidence: about to be fired
 

DarloRich

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A few sandwiches short of a picnic - not quite right in the head

An Anorak -
obsessive nerd

Bob's your uncle -
British equivalent to "Hey presto!" or "Et voila!"

Leg it - Run away ( as in: Christ its the rozzers, lets leg it)

On the pull - Someone that's "on the pull" has gone out, usually on a night out, with the intention of attracting a sexual partner.

Economical with the truth - suggesting someone is telling unthruths without actually saying it thus avoiding being sued!
 

PeterC

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On London Underground
Minor delays:
Bailing out and catching a bus will take about the same time
Severe delays: See "remote working" thread
 

DarloRich

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Services on this route are subject to slight delays - Job stopped, havn't a clue when you will see another train

harsh.

Minor delays means a train should come at some point but not soon

Severe delays means you might see a train. Maybe. That wont be this side of the next ice age mind.

Severe disruption on this route means the whole thing has gone to pot. Flee now. For the love of god flee now!

Do not travel unless absolutely essential and tickets for today will be valid for tomorrow: Job stopped, havn't a clue when you will see another train. Go to pub.
 

DerekC

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"doing a runner" = leaving (a pub or whatever) without paying the bill.

"up the duff"; "in the pudding club"; "got a bun in the oven" and many more of even lower levels of acceptability = pregnant.
 

Calthrop

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Economical with the truth - suggesting someone is telling unthruths without actually saying it thus avoiding being sued!

To be very annoyingly nitpicky: per my understanding, this splendid euphemism is not in fact a UK creation as such -- it originated / returned to health and vigour, elsewhere in the world (the general "economies made vis-a-vis truth" form of words, though not in that exact shape, has actually been around for a couple of centuries). According to Wiki, the exact "E.w.t.t." wording is identified as first showing up in two U.S. publications, independently of each other, in 1897; and it has been highly in vogue here and in other English-speaking areas, since its use in a trial in Australia in 1986.

An IMO lovely one along similar lines, of definite UK pedigree (coined by Winston Churchill in 1906), is Terminological inexactitude.

https:en.wikipedia.org>wiki>Economical_with_the_truth

should, all being well, lead to the Wiki entry. (Hasn't worked as a link, I see -- I'm hopeless with links.)


"doing a runner" = leaving (a pub or whatever) without paying the bill.

My impression is, particularly used in and around London. I once heard, in London, an analogous expression "doing a dumper" -- dumping an item on someone without their consent, and promptly decamping. Not sure whether to regard this one as ingenious ongoing wordplay; or to think, "that sounds horrible".

"up the duff"; "in the pudding club"; "got a bun in the oven" and many more of even lower levels of acceptability = pregnant.

Genteel equivalent of the above: In an interesting condition.
 
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Domh245

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How are you?: Generic greeting

I'm fine: I'm not fine

Not bad: Everything is fine
 

duncanp

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When you are on the phone to a call centre, and waiting for your call to be answered:-

Your call is important to us : Your call is not important to us

Did you know you can find the answer to your query on our website? : F**k off, we're very busy and too tight fisted to employ enough staff to answer your call in a timely manner.

If you leave your phone number we will call you back : We couldn't give a s**t about your call and will not call you back , but this enables us to reduce the number of people in the queue and improve our statistics
 

duncanp

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And from the world of IT:-

We've upgraded our computer system : Nothing works properly any more, and everything takes twice as long as before the upgrade
 

D365

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A few sandwiches short of a picnic - not quite right in the head

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer = lacking in intelligence

You could start a thread with these alone.

My nomination: A few cards short of a deck.

If you leave your phone number we will call you back : We couldn't give a s**t about your call and will not call you back , but this enables us to reduce the number of people in the queue and improve our statistics

Much the same as when you finish at a job interview and your interviewers say “We’ll get back to you”.
 

Bletchleyite

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[QUOTE="DarloRich, post: 4387689, member: 7788"]Do not travel unless absolutely essential and tickets for today will be valid for tomorrow: Job stopped, havn't a clue when you will see another train. Go to pub.[/QUOTE]

Anyone remember happier times on the south WCML when disruption was an odd one off thing and the LM Twitterer told someone to do exactly that? :)
 

CC 72100

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After consideration - I initially thought that my idea was better, and to be honest I still think that, but because you're the one who hires and fires me I better go along with that you said.

I'd rather be dead in a ditch than do (x) - I am going to have to do (x) and you will not find me motionless in any ditches any time soon.
 

transmanche

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With all due respect/With the greatest respect - You are an idiot and you have no idea what you are talking about.

A bit of a pickle - Something has gone terribly wrong.

I'll bear that in mind - I will instantly forget your suggestion.

It's a bit wet out - You'd better hire a boat.

I'm sure it'll be fine - I'm sure it will be a total disaster.

Excuse me, sorry, is anyone sitting there? - Move your bag. Now!
 

gg1

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Estate agents are the real master here:

In need of some modernisation = completely gut the place and start again
In need of major renovation = in need of demolition
Cosy = small
Charming = small
Deceptively spacious = small
Quirky = ugly
Unique = ugly
Imposing = ugly
Desirable area = ludicrously expensive
Popular area = noisy overcrowded area
Up and coming area = inadvisable to go out after dark
Partially refurbished = ….by a clueless DIYer who gave up half way through
Perfect for first time buyers = you’d have to be really desperate to buy this dump
 

duncanp

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Estate agents are the real master here:

I can remember when I was looking for a flat in the early 1990's:-

This property has dry rot and woodworm guarantees = This property is guaranteed to have dry rot and woodworm once you move in
 

DaleCooper

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My "favourite" seen on many websites:

We value your privacy = We will sell as much of your personal information that we can find.
 

Calthrop

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After consideration - I initially thought that my idea was better, and to be honest I still think that, but because you're the one who hires and fires me I better go along with that you said.

With all due respect/With the greatest respect - You are an idiot and you have no idea what you are talking about.

A favourite equivalent of mine to these, from the pages of fiction, comes from the pen of Evelyn Waugh -- his novel Scoop: a satire written some eighty years ago, about down-market sensational newspapers at that time. The book's villain is Lord Copper, a foul-tempered, tyrannical and rather ignorant newspaper tycoon whose staff go in terror of him. Particularly intimidated thus is his foreign-affairs editor; he has as a go-to expression, "Up to a point, Lord Copper" -- by which he really means "you are talking complete and utter bilge, you foolish man".
 

Busaholic

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A favourite equivalent of mine to these, from the pages of fiction, comes from the pen of Evelyn Waugh -- his novel Scoop: a satire written some eighty years ago, about down-market sensational newspapers at that time. The book's villain is Lord Copper, a foul-tempered, tyrannical and rather ignorant newspaper tycoon whose staff go in terror of him. Particularly intimidated thus is his foreign-affairs editor; he has as a go-to expression, "Up to a point, Lord Copper" -- by which he really means "you are talking complete and utter bilge, you foolish man".
I used to use a phrase occasionally, which never actually got me into trouble because the recipient of it was either too dim or couldn't be certain of my meaning, but I stopped before I could be assaulted. I'd say 'well, you're speaking crapactually of course', with the emphasis on the pact. Used to lead to silence while the brain whirred around, by which time I'd moved on to something else without betraying with my face what I meant: actually said it once to a boss who was chiding me for something that was totally out of my control, but he'd got it in the neck from his boss and he was always intent on evading responsibility personally. Even looked like Jeremy Corbyn, come to think of it :lol:
 

Springs Branch

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There are few regularly used in obituaries and funeral eulogies.
(I think I heard most of these listed by Stephen Fry in some old episode of QI):-

Confirmed bachelor - already covered in Post #4.
Fun-loving bachelor - highly flamboyant or promiscuous variation of the above.
Tireless raconteur - rambling bore who never knew when to shut up.
Did not suffer fools gladly - short-tempered, impatient, rude old git.
Liked a tipple - alcoholic.
Had an eye for the ladies - sleazy lecher with wandering hands.
Enjoyed a flutter on the horses - gambling addict.
Eccentric - social outcast.

In addition, any Viz aficionados who enjoy delicate and creative euphemisms will have a well-thumbed copy of Roger's Profanisaurus on their bookshelf. (I won't post a link, since this is a family-friendly forum).
 
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gg1

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A few ones people use self descriptively, broadly true IME:

Life and soul of the party = loud and annoying
I like to work hard and play hard = I have a drug habit
I'm ambitious and driven = I'll brown nose to bosses, take credit for other people's work and won't hesitate to stab the rest of my colleagues in the back if there's the slightest chance of a promotion
 
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