Not Wanting to go home

amateur · 24 Dec 2015

Am I the only person who doesn't want to go home (to the parents) for Christmas? Last train I could get leaves c. 20:30. Can't be assed. Haven't even packed either! Wish there were later services, so I could leave things as LATE as possible.

Bah Humbug, and all that!

RailUK Forums

GrimsbyPacer · 24 Dec 2015

If you can go home for Christmas, do it.
Your family will be happy to see you.
Scrooge regretted not going to a party when invited saying Humbug.
But he was always welcome.

It's a special time of year, don't miss out.
Merry Christmas.

SS4 · 24 Dec 2015

amateur said:
Am I the only person who doesn't want to go home for Christmas? Last train I could get leaves c. 20:30. Can't be assed. Haven't even packed either! Wish there were later services, so I could leave things as LATE as possible.

Bah Humbug, and all that!

So why bother going home? Unless you mean the workplace I guess.

It's important to recognise that some do want to be alone, that it holds no joy to certain people. Christmas is not all about family, friends and merriment

amateur · 24 Dec 2015

SS4 said:
So why bother going home?

Because of the verbal abuse and grief I shall get from my parents and siblings, if I don't go home. Already had two missed calls.

Will no doubt get more grief tomorrow! Still in my jim jams. Just orderd a take-away, so I can eat at mine alone.

Doubt I shall be able able to get the half past eight now. Unless I book a taxi quickish! (checks Live Departure Boards)

SS4 · 24 Dec 2015

amateur said:
Because of the verbal abuse and grief I shall get from my parents and siblings, if I don't go home. Already had two missed calls.

Will no doubt get more grief tomorrow! Still in my jim jams. Just orderd a take-away, so I can eat home alone.

Doubt I shall be able able to get the half past eight now. Unless I book a taxi quickish!

Sounds like a bad reason tbh.

Turn your phone to aeroplane mode (you can turn on wifi afterwards). If you don't live with them or aren't financially dependant you can set the terms of your relationship. Otherwise you may have to suck it up.

This is possibly the worst time of year for anyone who is introverted as you're being told you have to spend time being sociable and that being alone is a bad thing (see all the ads out there right now!). It's a load of bollocks but it sells money so you'll see it.

Nothing wrong with a small lie though, like you're stranded after missing the last train home or you have to work. If they want you there they can provide compensation - either monetary or something you want

amateur · 24 Dec 2015

SS4 said:
Sounds like a bad reason tbh.

Turn your phone to aeroplane mode (you can turn on wifi afterwards). If you don't live with them or aren't financially dependant you can set the terms of your relationship. Otherwise you may have to suck it up.

This is possibly the worst time of year for anyone who is introverted as you're being told you have to spend time being sociable and that being alone is a bad thing (see all the ads out there right now!). It's a load of bollocks but it sells money so you'll see it.

Nothing wrong with a small lie though, like you're stranded after missing the last train home or you have to work. If they want you there they can provide compensation - either monetary or something you want

I am an introvert. Only excuse I can get away with, is by lying, and saying I have to work on Boxing Day (when I don't) ...or lying and saying I missed the last train (or it got cancelled).

If I were that keen to travel home (to my parents) ...I could have planned and booked well in advance!

CromptonLad · 24 Dec 2015

I'll swap. Want to work in a traffic office [non essential] on Xmas Day & Boxing Day?

amateur · 24 Dec 2015

I actually checked if there were trains going to Bham (from my parents' gaffes) on Boxing Day (wishful thinking), just so I could do some boxing Day Sale Shopping at the new shopping centre ...and checkout the New Station! That may well have swung me ...if trains were running to New Street et al. :roll:

SS4 · 24 Dec 2015

amateur said:
I am an introvert. Only excuse I can get away with, is by lying, and saying I have to work on Boxing Day (when I don't) ...or lying and saying I missed the last train (or it got cancelled).

If I were that keen to travel home (to my parents) ...I could have planned and booked well in advance!

The best way to lie is to use a kernel of truth and have it be unverifiable. It is easy to prove that the train is not cancelled but not that you missed it. Having to work boxing day can also work if you're in an industry that works on it and/or you've done it before: it's not unverifiable but it's too hard to be worth trying.

I'll swap. Want to work in a traffic office [non essential] on Xmas Day & Boxing Day?

I suspect OP probably would. I know I would but I'm already working boxing day (xmas day is a non working day).

ThePannier · 24 Dec 2015

Consider yourself fortunate that you have the opportunity to go home to your family, regardless of whether or not you wish to do so. Some people have to work over the next couple of days and don't get that opportunity.

SS4 · 24 Dec 2015

ThePannier said:
Consider yourself fortunate that you have the opportunity to go home to your family, regardless of whether or not you wish to do so. Some people have to work over the next couple of days and don't get that opportunity.

That's pretty unhelpful. We're not in a game of misery bingo

cf111 · 24 Dec 2015

I'm not a massive fan of Christmas but I still go home for it because my family want to see me and it's good chance to catch up with friends who are still here. I don't do Christmas for me all being said, I do it for my mum. Obviously everyone is different and if you're old enough and independent enough then you are more than capable of going "no, I don't want to do this" and not doing it if you're happy about the effect it might have on your relationship with the people you're not going to see.

I've missed some in the past through work and haven't had a hogmanay for years for the same reason and I can't say it bothers me to any great extent.

ralphchadkirk · 24 Dec 2015

ThePannier said:
Consider yourself fortunate that you have the opportunity to go home to your family, regardless of whether or not you wish to do so. Some people have to work over the next couple of days and don't get that opportunity.

Couldn't agree more. One may not want to see their parents or siblings, but the family probably do want to see them. Sometimes you have to do things you may not entirely want to.

90019 · 24 Dec 2015

Hooray for forced socialising and faked merriment.

Peter Mugridge · 24 Dec 2015

SS4 said:
The best way to lie is to use a kernel of truth and have it be unverifiable. It is easy to prove that the train is not cancelled but not that you missed it. Having to work boxing day can also work if you're in an industry that works on it and/or you've done it before: it's not unverifiable but it's too hard to be worth trying.

Alternatively, if one wants to be left alone on Xmas Day just tell everyone who offers you an invitation that you have already accepted an alternative arrangement.

Unfortunately since getting married I can't use that trick myself any more...

ExRes · 24 Dec 2015

I would have thought the best course of action for the OP is to grow some and be honest, as in "I'd rather not come thank you", maybe then you won't find yourself in the same position next year

Diplodicus · 24 Dec 2015

Dear Amateur,

If you really were an introvert as you claim, you would not have initiated this thread. Bragging about being a curmudgeon is unattractive. Perhaps you might ask yourself why you broadcast your so-called indifference?

Christmas is amongst other things a time of giving. Why not give your parents the gift of your company. Even the most cynical could see that it's a cheap gift and you get free meals.

Be alone for the holiday if that's really what you would like, but don't spoil my festive spirit.

I wish you a happy Christmas. I really do.

455driver · 24 Dec 2015

Am I to assume that you haven't bothered getting the family any gifts (even a token small one) or a card and you are now feeling guilty but don't want to face up to the family with the fact that you are a lazy selfish individual that only thinks about themselves and couldn't care less about the effect their behaviour will have on others around them, especially their family!

You get out of life what you put into it!
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

90019 said:
Hooray for forced socialising and faked merriment.

Being 'forced' to see the family once a year (who will no doubt feed you) isn't seen as much of a hardship for most of us!

Starmill · 25 Dec 2015

The most important thing is that people should do what they feel most comfortable with and nobody should try to hold that against them.

amateur · 25 Dec 2015

Well I stayed at mine. Now I'm stuck, all alone for the next two days!

455driver · 25 Dec 2015

amateur said:
Well I stayed at mine. Now I'm stuck, all alone for the next two days!

It was your choice, you could have been down at your Parents all ready for a day of silly games tomorrow, followed by a (probably) fantastic dinner and a few pints* while everyone catches up on what they have been doing over the last year, even if what you have done seems quite boring to you I am sure your family members would have listened and found it interesting, sometimes I am genuinely surprised how much interest some of my family took in what I had been up too, oh that is nothing illegal by the way!

I enjoy my own company a lot, and especially more than being in a crowd (so I do actually know where you are coming from) but there are times when you have to put that aside and think of others.

Anyway it is done now so do please enjoy your own company over the next couple of days, don't mope around worrying about things, just enjoy the peace and quiet!

Merry Christmas mate!

* other beverages are available.

HMS Ark Royal · 25 Dec 2015

Be glad that you have a family and loved ones to go home to

Some of us have only half or none of that at all...

455driver · 25 Dec 2015

HMS Ark Royal said:
Be glad that you have a family and loved ones to go home to

Some of us have only half or none of that at all...

No need to stick the boot in, he has made his choice (which was his to make) and others should respect it!

radamfi · 25 Dec 2015

I would recommend leaving the UK for Christmas, enabling you to travel around. I've done that a few times. You just have to ensure you can find somewhere to eat that is open.

WestCoast · 25 Dec 2015

I'm quite fortunate that my parents retired to live in the Canary Islands and have a low key Christmas in the sunshine (well, it's crazy windy today). We're going for a few drinks in the afternoon to celebrate, that's all. The buses are running and the shops are open, which I quite like. I always try to travel there as the extended family make a massive deal of Christmas and I'm not a huge fan of that to be honest. :oops:

GodAtum · 25 Dec 2015

amateur said:
Am I the only person who doesn't want to go home (to the parents) for Christmas? Last train I could get leaves c. 20:30. Can't be assed. Haven't even packed either! Wish there were later services, so I could leave things as LATE as possible.

Bah Humbug, and all that!

I'm glad you brought this up, I was thinking of starting a thread on this. I had to work last night and as there was no public transport today i am staying in a hotel on my own.

Antman · 25 Dec 2015

radamfi said:
I would recommend leaving the UK for Christmas, enabling you to travel around. I've done that a few times. You just have to ensure you can find somewhere to eat that is open.

I've often considered doing just that but I've always been over ruled by she who must be obeyed.

It's nice to see the grandchildren all excited about Christmas but they'll probably feel as apathetic about it as I do when they're older.

Roll on tomorrow, wife's going to the sales and I'm going to football

amateur · 25 Dec 2015

i just wish there were trains running on boxing day, then I'd be able to go do some sale shopping tomorrow!

Xenophon PCDGS · 25 Dec 2015

SS4 said:
Christmas is not all about family, friends and merriment

Indeed so, every year that passes, the true meaning of Christmas loses yet another understanding.

I remain surprised that the Houses of Mammon have not as yet established "Herod Friday" as another day in which to reinforce that view...

455driver · 25 Dec 2015

amateur said:
i just wish there were trains running on boxing day, then I'd be able to go do some sale shopping tomorrow!

So, you don't want to spend Christmas with your family and you are saying that I cant because you want to go shopping, something you can do on 363 other days of the year!

My sympathy for your predicament is evaporating by the second!

Not Wanting to go home

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