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Breastfeeding Mother Forced to Stand on Train

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whhistle

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-45421266

A mother says was forced to stand while breastfeeding her son on a train because no one offered her a seat.

Kate Hitchens, 32, was travelling home to Wickford from London during the rush hour on Tuesday.

Commuters saw she was nursing six-month-old Charlie but failed to offer assistance until the very end of her 35-minute journey, she said.

In angry posts on Facebook and Instagram, Mrs Hitchens said she could have asked for a seat, but "shouldn't have to".

"The point here isn't just that I found it difficult because I was nursing, but that not one person offered a mother carrying a small child a seat for three stops. I shouldn't have to ask."
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Don't get me wrong, I feel for the lady but when she says she expects someone to offer a seat, I'm not sure what I think about that.
I get that people should, but the way I read it is that it was almost her right to a seat.
 
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Could of asked for a seat, thought she’d keep stum and have a moan on social media when he got home instead. Sounds about right :)
 
Esker-pades

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I will happily give my seat up, but I'm not in a position to be able to ask someone if they want to sit down. I rely on people to ask for a seat if they need it. Someone who bleats to the media is quite capable of asking for a seat.
 
bramling

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whhistle said:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-45421266



Don't get me wrong, I feel for the lady but when she says she expects someone to offer a seat, I'm not sure what I think about that.
I get that people should, but the way I read it is that it was almost her right to a seat.
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Not much sympathy here.

A pretty frequent train service on that line and she was travelling from London by the sound of it. If it was so important she could quite easily have arranged to be on the train early to ensure a seat.
 
Intermodal

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shredder1 said:
I wouldnt hesitate to give up my seat, sadly the age of chivalry appears to be lost on many these days.
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Unfortunately, what a lot of people would see as chivalry can be considered offensive in this day and age. I am not willing to 'assess' or offer my seat to anyone nowadays, as too many times I have been bitten back at that 'I am more than capable' or 'Don't you think I can stand up?'. If someone were to ask me, I would be out of my seat in an instant. All this lady had to do was ask - but instead she wrote a massive blog post and sent it to the BBC to further her own public image. Pathetic.

The lady is looking for trouble - she'd much rather write paragraphs on why society is going down the drain than simply ask someone if she may sit down. She doesn't want someone to give up their seat - in fact she was delighted they didn't so she had this opportunity.
 
The_Train

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FelixtheCat said:
I will happily give my seat up, but I'm not in a position to be able to ask someone if they want to sit down. I rely on people to ask for a seat if they need it. Someone who bleats to the media is quite capable of asking for a seat.
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I'm pretty much the same. To some people, being offered a seat is sometimes more offensive than not being offered one as it could be misconstrued as them being seen as incapable of standing.

As for this story, it's definitely another non-story. I'm no expert when it comes to child care, but she was travelling 3 stops which I assume on a London commuter train is not a great deal of distance (could be wrong here) so could the feed not have waited until she got off/home? If not and children rely on a strict feeding regime then should she be timing a train journey home (on a commuter train as well) for when this feed needs to take place?
 
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Yes. Def a daft story to be on national news. But it is a dilemma I often have. I assume this is an overwhelmingly male forum as it would be good to have a female perspective. I board my train at its outset so have a seat and like most trains in peak it’s standing at some point. I have given my seat up from time to time to elderly women. And men for that matter it’s usually appreciated sometimes refused. But I do sometimes look around and it’s often men sitting women standing. I’m of a generation that in my youth that would be deemed ill mannered. But the world has changed and women want equality so is it still the done thing? I still feel uncomfortable in not giving up my seat to a woman. I will tend to let them board first from a busy platform. But often think I’m a mug for doing so as I’m in the minority. Perhaps as everyone is engrossed in thier device they just don’t notice their surroundings or don’t care. We are certainly a less courteous society. But I tend to agree. Bleeting on social media and the bbc picking it up smacks of attention seeking

I would relate my breast feeding incident on a train as it’s kind of funny but I fear I would stray into troubled waters.
 
shredder1

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Bletchleyite said:
Quite a few of us have been rudely knocked back when offering seats to the extent that we no longer do so unless asked.
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Yes so have I, which took me back a little, but I still wouldnt hesitate to offer a seat, I simply ignore the ignorant that are rude.
 
Intermodal

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Mingulay said:
But I do sometimes look around and it’s often men sitting women standing. I’m of a generation that in my youth that would be deemed ill mannered. But the world has changed and women want equality so is it still the done thing?
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There is absolutely no reason why a male should give up a seat to a female barring disability or age.
 
DarloRich

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westv said:
I totally disagree on this point.
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Intermodal said:
There is absolutely no reason why a male should give up a seat to a female barring disability or age.
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it is good manners, at least the version i was taught. It fine if you want to disagree but I think you are wrong and bordering on rude. My view isnt going to change.

Intermodal said:
In todays equality movement, it would be viewed that the "strong, burly" men are helping the "weak, infirm" women who are unable to stand up for a few minutes.
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No it isnt, at least not in the real world. Sometimes people decline, politely, sometimes they accept.
 
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DarloRich said:
A seat should be offered to any standing lady or elderly person at the very least.
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I agree with that view, but unfortunately don't for the reasons others have mentioned having been on the end of a gobfull myself before when doing what I perceived was the right thing and offered my seat (on a bus) to a lady who was less than pleased at my offer
 
shredder1

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Intermodal said:
In todays equality movement, it would be viewed that the "strong, burly" men are helping the "weak, infirm" women who are unable to stand up for a few minutes.
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Not all women think that way, some still like the idea of strong burly men helping them and not all women follow the equality thinking. In ecological terms the female of the specie controls anyway, they are not equal but different, generally phisically weaker, but mentally usually stronger than the male counterpart.
 
DarloRich

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Geezertronic said:
I agree with that view, but unfortunately don't for the reasons others have mentioned having been on the end of a gobfull myself before when doing what I perceived was the right thing and offered my seat (on a bus) to a lady who was less than pleased at my offer
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at least you offered. it isnt your fault that many people lack the manners to refuse something politely!
 
Intermodal

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DarloRich said:
it is good manners, at least the version i was taught. It fine if you want to disagree but I think you are wrong and bordering on rude. My view isnt going to change.



No it isnt, at least not in the real world. Sometimes people decline, politely, sometimes they accept.
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Clearly it is an issue of age and generation. I don't wish to be seen to be taking any position in this thread. I am 24 and I am informing you, quite realistically and factually I might add, how a large proportion of woman of my generation and the generation above would respond to this sort of comment. I know this through personal experience - I was always taught by my Grandfather to give up seats to a woman - and yet in practise it does not work for me. As already stated I get bitten back at and female friends will tell me it is wrong.

I suspect those older than myself "get away with it" as it is clear to everyone it is a generation issue - but these are real views held by real people.
 
DarloRich

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Intermodal said:
Clearly it is an issue of age and generation. I don't wish to be seen to be taking any position in this thread. I am 24 and I am informing you, quite realistically and factually I might add, how a large proportion of woman of my generation and the generation above would respond to this sort of comment. I know this through personal experience - I was always taught by my Grandfather to give up seats to a woman - and yet in practise it does not work for me. As already stated I get bitten back at and female friends will tell me it is wrong.

I suspect those older than myself "get away with it" as it is clear to everyone it is a generation issue - but these are real views held by real people.
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I am 40ish ( so hardly ancient) and I am informing you, quite realistically and factually I might add, that no one young or old has ever complained to me for offering them a seat. Some people have said no, thank you but no one has ever given me an earful. As I said you are welcome to disagree with my stance. I think not offering a seat is rude.
 
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