Guard gives woman a note!

pemma · 8 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
Bumping into someone in a shop, or a bus queue, or a pub, or at work and striking up a conversation, is a bit different from having someone plonk themselves down in the next train seat and starting to talk at you. I do find headphones very useful should the situation arise, but really it's a social no-no to start talking to someone who is pretty much trapped and may be too polite to tell you to **** off.

It's worth noting we don't know where the man and the woman mentioned in the original post were sat. It might have been the woman chose to sit next to the man because that seat was free, it might have been the man was the other side of the aisle or it might be he was sat opposite her at a table seat, we don't know.

Not sure why you consider a bus queue different to being on a train.

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yorkie · 8 Oct 2018

jcollins said:
Not sure why you consider a bus queue different to being on a train.

I think her point was that in a bus queue it is inevitable you will be in close proximity to someone.

But on a relatively lightly loaded (non-reservable) train, you might not expect someone to choose to sit right next to you if other suitable seats, which are not in such close proximity to any other person, are available throughout the train.

trainophile · 8 Oct 2018

yorkie said:
I think her point was that in a bus queue it is inevitable you will be in close proximity to someone.

But on a relatively lightly loaded (non-reservable) train, you might not expect someone to choose to sit right next to you if other suitable seats, which are not in such close proximity to any other person, are available throughout the train.

It was mainly that in a bus queue you can walk away casually. On a train you may have to gather overhead luggage and make a point of moving.

I was sitting across the aisle from a young lady once, probably only about 19, and a very strange chap sat next to her and immediately started talking. I could see she was getting more and more uncomfortable, just replying politely but giving him no encouragement.

I was with my husband and we were just whispering about whether we should intervene when she asked him to let her out as we approached a station. We saw that she didn’t get off, just moved to the next carriage. I hope it didn’t put her off train travel for life!

pemma · 8 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
It was mainly that in a bus queue you can walk away casually. On a train you may have to gather overhead luggage and make a point of moving.

I was sitting across the aisle from a young lady once, probably only about 19, and a very strange chap sat next to her and immediately started talking. I could see she was getting more and more uncomfortable, just replying politely but giving him no encouragement.

I was with my husband and we were just whispering about whether we should intervene when she asked him to let her out as we approached a station. We saw that she didn’t get off, just moved to the next carriage. I hope it didn’t put her off train travel for life!

I think a bus queue could potentially be worse. I've been waiting for buses when they haven't turned up or been very late and I've ended up spending 30 minutes or more at the bus stop. If you walk off the bus might turn up and then you can't get back to the bus stop in time to be picked up.

On a train you can pretend you're getting off at the next stop, pretend you need the toilet, pretend you've just got a text from someone you know who is supposed to be on the same train, pretend that you need to retrieve something from your luggage (and then return to another seat) etc.

HH · 8 Oct 2018

yorkie said:
I think her point was that in a bus queue it is inevitable you will be in close proximity to someone.

But on a relatively lightly loaded (non-reservable) train, you might not expect someone to choose to sit right next to you if other suitable seats, which are not in such close proximity to any other person, are available throughout the train.

There's nowt so strange as folk though. The other day, I got on early to a 'starter'; despite there being very few people on the carriage a woman came and sat next to me. Now, if I'd been even in the second flush of youth, I might have got some ideas, but at my time of life, I'm long past ideas, so I just put it down to "the great British travelling public". Maybe she just likes that seat.

Now imagine instead it had been the other way round...

trainophile · 8 Oct 2018

HH said:
There's nowt so strange as folk though. The other day, I got on early to a 'starter'; despite there being very few people on the carriage a woman came and sat next to me. Now, if I'd been even in the second flush of youth, I might have got some ideas, but at my time of life, I'm long past ideas, so I just put it down to "the great British travelling public". Maybe she just likes that seat.

Now imagine instead it had been the other way round...

Were all the other pairs of forward facing seats occupied? If there were only backwards facing ones left she may have chosen the lesser of two evils! :lol:

rg177 · 8 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
Were all the other pairs of forward facing seats occupied? If there were only backwards facing ones left she may have chosen the lesser of two evils!

Reminds me of an old French woman on a VTEC service early one morning. I'd ended up lying across the seats getting some kip as there were plenty of seats free. (This was a diverted one via the coast, I'm sure it left at about 05:55 from Newcastle)

She stood over me and coughed until I sat up and moved over, then moaned at me the entire journey. There were unreserved seats all over the carriage and the seat next to mine wasn't reserved so it wasn't even 'hers'. Even ended up getting batted in the face with her copy of 'Le Monde'. 16yr old me just decided to put up and shut up rather than cause a fuss.

I didn't find it strange, just rather irritating :lol:

Islineclear3_1 · 8 Oct 2018

NSEFAN said:
God help you if you try and strike up conversation with a stranger on the tube. In fact, attempts to make conversation can even get you arrested!

Actually, I did this yesterday. There was a young woman looking rather agitated and standing against some seats in a near empty carriage. We both alighted at the same station and I asked if she was ok.

Expecting a dirty look or some colourful language, she was quite flattered to be asked, gave me a very polite response and thanked me for my concern. She also added that she hadn't had a good day so I responded by hoping she would have a better evening and she thanked me again.

You just never know...

trainophile · 8 Oct 2018

Imagine if you are a business man, quietly tapping away on your laptop, and someone (let’s say a woman for the sake of argument) sits down beside or opposite you and starts talking inanely about how full the train is, and it’s late again, and my husband will be wondering where I’ve got to... then asks where you got on and where you’re going, in a generally over-familiar way, oblivious to the fact that you are trying to ignore her.

It’s much safer to wear a scowl at all times on public transport!

pemma · 8 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
Imagine if you are a business man, quietly tapping away on your laptop, and someone (let’s say a woman for the sake of argument) sits down beside or opposite you and starts talking inanely about how full the train is, and it’s late again, and my husband will be wondering where I’ve got to... then asks where you got on and where you’re going, in a generally over-familiar way, oblivious to the fact that you are trying to ignore her.

It’s much safer to wear a scowl at all times on public transport!

Surely there's a big difference between interrupting someone who appears to be doing something constructive e.g. working on a laptop, on the phone to a work colleague etc. and starting a conversation with someone who's looking bored/killing time.

One evening there were two ladies on a train I was on, who had probably had a bit too much to drink. For some reason the guard wasn't announcing the stations and every time the train stopped they were asking me which station we were stopped at, after a few times one of them asked which station I was getting off at and when I told them and that the station I was getting off at was before the one they wanted to get off at, they calmed down quite a bit, they obviously realised I knew where I was getting off and if I was still on the train the train hadn't reached their station.

HH · 8 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
Were all the other pairs of forward facing seats occupied? If there were only backwards facing ones left she may have chosen the lesser of two evils!

No, the carriage was almost empty, there were several sets of 4 seats with no-one sat at them. I wouldn't have been surprised if the train was half-full as people do prefer different seats; myself all I look for is to avoid being sat next to someone who takes up a seat and a half.

takno · 8 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
Imagine if you are a business man, quietly tapping away on your laptop, and someone (let’s say a woman for the sake of argument) sits down beside or opposite you and starts talking inanely about how full the train is, and it’s late again, and my husband will be wondering where I’ve got to... then asks where you got on and where you’re going, in a generally over-familiar way, oblivious to the fact that you are trying to ignore her.

It’s much safer to wear a scowl at all times on public transport!

This happens all the time. Sometimes if the work is not urgent or is boring, I welcome the interruption. If I have the time and energy to speak, but I'm not enjoying the conversation I will probably try to guide it around to something a bit less boring. If that doesn't work or I'm not in mood, and the person isn't obviously suffering from anxiety and in need of a calming conversation, then I'll tend to politely excuse myself and plug in. Some people are better than others at getting social cues, and some people have more confidence to extricate themselves if the conversation is unwelcome. I'd rather work at improving both of those things than discourage people from ever talking to strangers.

Iskra · 8 Oct 2018

yorkie said:
What's the operation of the train got to do with it?

On the Strathclye electric trains operated by Scotrail there is a member of staff constantly patrolling most trains (they are not allowed to remain in the back cab).

However on most of the trains I took yesterday and Friday evening (all with Guards) I saw no on-board staff in the passenger areas of the trains.

I also agree that it is important staff are patrolling the trains helping customers but on the vast majority of evening trains in Yorkshire I see no evidence of staff doing this whatsoever. So I guess the train companies disagree with us both and do not see it as important.

Can train companies insist Guards patrol the trains? I guess not as otherwise it would happen, surely?

Northern guards seem to adopt a doors only policy after 6pm. Very rare to have a ticket check in the evening.

43096 · 8 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
Imagine if you are a business man, quietly tapping away on your laptop, and someone (let’s say a woman for the sake of argument) sits down beside or opposite you and starts talking inanely about how full the train is, and it’s late again, and my husband will be wondering where I’ve got to... then asks where you got on and where you’re going, in a generally over-familiar way, oblivious to the fact that you are trying to ignore her.

It’s much safer to wear a scowl at all times on public transport!

Here's a challenge for you then....

How would you cope with Renee from The Fast Show?

sheff1 · 10 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
Maybe it's a male/female thing. I'm the latter. Strangers starting to chat without being encouraged to do so feels inappropriate.

Oh dear, I will have to make sure I do not talk a woman on a train to/from Hereford or Southport then !

Fortunately, I have had interesting conversations with many fellow passengers, male and female, over the years. Some instigated by them, some by me.

goblinuser · 11 Oct 2018

trainophile said:
Maybe it's a male/female thing. I'm the latter. Strangers starting to chat without being encouraged to do so feels inappropriate.

Everyone really should be appropriately mute, anti social, ensuring the appropriate lonely death when it appropriately occurs.

trainophile · 11 Oct 2018

goblinuser said:
Everyone really should be appropriately mute, anti social, ensuring the appropriate lonely death when it appropriately occurs.

Haha, well if I die on a train that could well be the case. What’s the chances of someone travelling alone and minding their own business suddenly dropping dead? I think it’s a risk I’ll take if it means I can enjoy peace up to that point!

Guard gives woman a note!

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