Did I just meet Britain's dumbest rail passenger?

Boarded a Cross Country northbound service at Birmingham New Street last week and a smartly dressed youngish guy comes and takes the aisle seat.

Says nothing at all for around an hour and then he suddenly turns to me and complains about nobody coming to take him to his First Class seat.

Tickets had already been checked and the official hadn’t said anything to him.

Turns out the guy had won a Seatfrog auction for an upgrade. Shows me his phone and the Coach A seat number. It did not occur to him that you simply go and occupy your newly assigned seat and he only had one more stop to go.

tom73 said:

Boarded a Cross Country northbound service at Birmingham New Street last week and a smartly dressed youngish guy comes and takes the aisle seat.
Says nothing at all for around an hour and then he suddenly turns to me and complains about nobody coming to take him to his First Class seat.
Tickets had already been checked and the official hadn’t said anything to him.
Turns out the guy had won a Seatfrog auction for an upgrade. Shows me his phone and the Coach A seat number. It did not occur to him that you simply go and occupy your newly assigned seat and he only had one more stop to go.

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Oh gosh he's by no means the daftest. Last Autumn my wife and I were on a Shipley - Leeds service that due to flooding at Thackley tunnel had to run up to Guiseley & back down to Leeds that way. Having held at Shipley for a good 20 minutes, with the guard having stated several times that we would be going via Guiseley then reversing back down to Leeds, we finally set off to join the growing congestion of services trying to work their way through the two single track sections.

Having eventually reached Guiseley, the guard once again announced the intentions to reverse and off we tootled down towards Leeds. Almost instantly an irate punter leapt up and started shouting at the guard (he had made the latest announcement from our carriage) that "why are we going back to Shipley?". The guard explained what was happening again, but this further enraged the passenger who now announced that "his plans were ruined". Bemused the guard as why, we were after all heading to Leeds just about 40 minutes late, to which the guy responded that he was originally going to Leeds, but on leaving Shipley and heading for Guiseley he had rearranged to meet his friend in Shipley instead (), and then on approaching Guiseley had arranged to meet his friend there. At this point the guard walked away, and the guy appeared to be about to follow him when he noticed quite a few of us now glaring at him with the kind of intent that suggested he might find himself walking if he continued his tirade.

Notwithstanding the fact that the guard was very clear on what was going to happen before leaving Shipley, and indeed some people decided not to bother and disembarked there as a result, the curious thing was how was his friend going to go from Leeds to Shipley to Guiseley in the space of the 5 minute trundle along the Baildon branch, even though it was quite clear we were still going to Leeds. Perhaps they were attempting to try out their freshly built teleport machine...??

So I hereby nominate said guy for the award, and I claim my five pounds....

I’ve been on one of the SWR services from London Waterloo to Bristol Temple Meads. Announcements from the guards and the automated PIS all the way though. When checking tickets, a lady exclaims ‘When do we get to Salisbury?’ The guard said ‘SALISBURY?! We stopped there about an hour ago, you’ve gone past it! You’ll need to alight at Bath and make your way back’ and then woman then had a go at him about how he’d made her miss her ‘important appointment’ in Salisbury. Unbelievable.

tom73 said:

Boarded a Cross Country northbound service at Birmingham New Street last week and a smartly dressed youngish guy comes and takes the aisle seat.

Says nothing at all for around an hour and then he suddenly turns to me and complains about nobody coming to take him to his First Class seat.

Tickets had already been checked and the official hadn’t said anything to him.

Turns out the guy had won a Seatfrog auction for an upgrade. Shows me his phone and the Coach A seat number. It did not occur to him that you simply go and occupy your newly assigned seat and he only had one more stop to go.

Click to expand...

Probably a combination of factors, such as being inexperienced at rail travel and perhaps he is autistic.

I met at least one idiot a day in my former life in the police and I'm sure many forum members on here who work on the railway will say there are plenty of life's challenging people they come across on a daily basis too.

Parallel said:

I’ve been on one of the SWR services from London Waterloo to Bristol Temple Meads. Announcements from the guards and the automated PIS all the way though. When checking tickets, a lady exclaims ‘When do we get to Salisbury?’ The guard said ‘SALISBURY?! We stopped there about an hour ago, you’ve gone past it! You’ll need to alight at Bath and make your way back’ and then woman then had a go at him about how he’d made her miss her ‘important appointment’ in Salisbury. Unbelievable.

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Reminds me of a guy on a train to Skegness (who certainly didn't strike me as being on the spectrum) who found it necessary to repeatedly ask the conductor each time he came to check tickets 'What time do we get to Skegness / How much longer until Skegness' (basically like a kid asking "Are we nearly there yet?") To which, unsurprisingly, the answer was always the same (from an obviously increasingly irratated conductor)

We once took the Eurostar from London to Paris. Opposite us were a pair of youngish guys who, it turned out, had managed to board our train instead of the Brussels service. They complained bitterly to us about their plight, finishing their tirade with: "And there's someone else sitting in our reserved seats!"
They were supposed to be heading via Lille to somewhere in the south of France. They were all for heading back from Paris to Lille to pick up their route, until I pointed out to them that they could cross Paris to the Gare de Lyon and resume their journey from there, with luck even managing to keep to their original schedule. Though how they would have coped with the Paris Metro is anyone's guess.

Here's my contribution:
I was at Haymarket, and a lady came up to me and asked where the 06:20 service to Liverpool was departing from. I told her that there was no direct train to Liverpool from Edinburgh (which there isn't) and that she had to change at Preston and Wigan. (This was in Jan 2019, so the TPX service hadn't started yet).

This explanation did not suit her, because she remained certain that there was a direct Edinburgh to Liverpool service and that if she walked to Waverley station then she would find it. I repeated that there simply wasn't such a train and that she needed to change trains at least once. I explained the walking route to Waverley (as she asked), which convinced her that she wouldn't walk there.

I then asked her what ticket she had (it was getting dangerously close to the 06:19 departure that I thought she wanted). Her response was that she thought she had an off-peak weekender ticket which allowed her to travel at any point but that she didn't have it with her. Whilst I internally slammed my head into the floor, my mouth suggested that she should either obtain her ticket or buy a new one. At this point, she went to the ticket machines and noisily collected her pre-purchased ticket using her card and booking reference. She came back to me and showed me the ticket. Of course, she had an Advance Single for the 10:52 departure from Edinburgh Waverley, and was actually going to Runcorn rather than Liverpool (which makes a difference for changing point). After I had explained this, and that she had a 4 and a half hour wait, she decided the best thing was to go to to Waverley. “Can I get a direct train there from here? How do you spell 'Waverley'?” I took her to a ticket machine, selected the single from Haymarket to Edinburgh and let her complete the purchase. I directed her to platform 3 where the next Edinburgh train left, which she promptly missed.

Having carefully and clearly explained the simple way down the stairs and passageway immediately next to us towards the District Line Praed Street station at Paddington while on the main concourse, I watched open mouthed as the passenger with a large suitcase, two smaller bags, his wife and three small children in tow who wanted to get to Earl's Court slowly struggled away towards the Bishop's Road station...

It is important to remember that come the next election of whatever sort all these people will have as many votes as everyone else.

yorkie said:

Probably a combination of factors, such as being inexperienced at rail travel and perhaps he is autistic.

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yes unfortunately people assume there level off understanding is the same as everybody else's where as there are many levels where some need more understanding and help rather than ridicule for being "different" indeed ridicule can cause them stress and stop them enjoying life outside
now i am sure no one on here would openly ridicule another person but keep it to themselves
now i dont use words like thick 'stupid or retarded but for the sake off simplicity and to make the concise point " i know some very clever thick people and some very thick clever people"

Some seemingly wondrous instances of rail-travel-related stupidity told of, here. However, I'm put in mind a bit: of the poet's expressed wish, for the gift of being able to see ourselves as others see us -- plenty of people are clueless where certain areas are concerned, but anything between competent and downright brilliant, in others with which they may be more at home and familiar. Being a railway enthusiast, I generally manage well enough with rail travel (though I've had my moments of idiocy on that scene); but in some other departments of life, I have at time been as bone-headed and generally hopeless, as any of the passengers pilloried upthread. I can feel a bit of sympathy for the woman in post #8: rail ticketing in Britain nowadays, strikes me as a hyper-complicated minefield characterised by a myriad of strangely-titled stuff, and complex rules and specifications.

It would appear to be part of the human condition that many people are remarkably bad at listening, and taking in what they hear (as with the Skegness-bound passenger in post #6, and the family in post #9); the more so when, as in some other posts, it's a matter of general announcements-to-all-present, rather than one-on-one conversation -- I suspect that it's a reflex with many, to just tune announcements out. The Salisbury woman in post #3 would seem to take the biscuit for sheer imbecility -- if only because stations have nameboards: surely you look out when the train stops at a station, to see what the place is called and whether it's your destination; but perhaps she was very unfamiliar with travel by public transport...

What I do feel is reprehensible is -- as in a couple of the posts in the thread -- these goons getting angry with railway staff, about the problems which they've created for themselves by their moronic behaviour; but one figures that that also, is part of "people being people". Folk tend not to like feeling foolish and in the wrong, no matter how much they have been, and are, those things: they are apt to try to deflect matters, and make themselves feel better, by persuading themselves that it's the fault of the other person / "the system", and raging and ranting at the unfortunate representative of the system, who happens to be on the spot. Nonetheless; it could be that more often than we think, we make asses of ourselves in some of the ways dealt with in this thread -- especially in respect of areas of life, concerning which we are not very familiar / clued-up.

Prior to their withdrawal I had to show many a millennial how to open the door of an HST

gazthomas said:

Prior to their withdrawal I had to show many a millennial how to open the door of an HST

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I got fed up with such more than once when travelling on the Chieftain. Even pointing out the signage did no good.

More than once I have up and went to the next doorway, leaving them to their own devices.

gazthomas said:

Prior to their withdrawal I had to show many a millennial how to open the door of an HST

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Tended to find it's mostly tourists myself. Either from other parts of the world or other parts of the country where slamdoors are long extinct, but always carrying large amounts of luggage and so worried about missing their stop they stand up 10 minutes early...

(Besides which, plenty of millennials are old enough that if they ever used trains on a regular basis they probably encountered a slamdoor back in their heyday... remember that the youngest millennials by any definition are no younger than about 23 at this point).

gazthomas said:

Prior to their withdrawal I had to show many a millennial how to open the door of an HST

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I had to show many a Gen X-er and Boomer how to open them too so not sure there's any point playing generational games?

Never mind slam doors, i've lost count of the numerous times i've watched people just stare at a door and expect it to open automatically, I try to be gentle when pointing out the button. I think often it is people travelling in different parts of the country than where they are used to.

The dumbest passengers are simply the ones who stand in front of the doors on the platform, blocking passengers getting off the train. Said passengers on the platform then get extremely annoyed as you try to squeeze your way through.

Manchester Piccadilly Platform 14, on a Saturday evening; essentially.

Darandio said:

Never mind slam doors, i've lost count of the numerous times i've watched people just stare at a door and expect it to open automatically, I try to be gentle when pointing out the button. I think often it is people travelling in different parts of the country than where they are used to.

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I used to see that a lot on 142s where, to be fair, if you weren't quite fully paying attention it could be hard to spot the door controls as if you were standing at the door the buttons would be out of sight!

I remember an amusing one from several years ago.

I'm at Paddington, walking from the cross platform bridge onto platform 5 to board a service to Bedwyn. As I walk towards the train, a lady asks me when the train to Bedwyn get in ? I explain that the train is already here, it's the one further along the platform. She then asks me if it'll stop where she's standing !!

Although I explained it was already stopped and the next time it moved it would keep going out of the station, I think she was still standing there at departure time.

_toommm_ said:

The dumbest passengers are simply the ones who stand in front of the doors on the platform, blocking passengers getting off the train. Said passengers on the platform then get extremely annoyed as you try to squeeze your way through.

Manchester Piccadilly Platform 14, on a Saturday evening; essentially.

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It’s one of the more extreme examples of people blocking passageways indeed. But you (or at least I) do come across it in all sort of places.

Peter Mugridge said:

Having carefully and clearly explained the simple way down the stairs and passageway immediately next to us towards the District Line Praed Street station at Paddington while on the main concourse, I watched open mouthed as the passenger with a large suitcase, two smaller bags, his wife and three small children in tow who wanted to get to Earl's Court slowly struggled away towards the Bishop's Road station...

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In fairness, going directly from Praed Street from the concourse involves crossing the Praed St footbridge.

Whereas Bishops Road has lifts to the platform, then at Edgware Rd you can cross-platform to the District Line back again. So not completely daft!

Maybe they think they are like shop doors which open automatically as you approach them?

They may just be used to the Underground where all doors open at every station. Even on the trains that have door buttons.

This wasn’t a mistake as such but he was definitely the dumbest passenger I’ve ever overheard heard on a train...
He was a young man (19/20ish I’d say) on a train from Exmouth to Exeter one evening who proceeded to tell the story that him and his mate had turned up at Exeter Central late one night and realising that they’d missed the last train they’d managed to find “one of those hand pump trolleys like what you sees in films, and drove it all the way home to Exmouth down the train tracks”...

Even his mates changed the subject to save him from himself as his story started to tail off.
What an absolute carrot cruncher.

I was on the same train on Saturday as a pair of dumb fare dodgers.

It was a Crewe - Manchester Airport - Liverpool stopping service and these two gentlemen boarded at Crewe holding tickets to Sandbach (so clearly the cheapest ticket to bypass the barriers at Crewe), probably hoping not to get gripped. They were travelling to Handforth, a station which isn't even served by that service, so not only were they over travelling as the guard checked tickets after Sandbach, they were on the wrong train all together!

Ianno87 said:

In fairness, going directly from Praed Street from the concourse involves crossing the Praed St footbridge.

Whereas Bishops Road has lifts to the platform, then at Edgware Rd you can cross-platform to the District Line back again. So not completely daft!

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They would, however, have then had to either get two trains on the way from Edgware Road to Earl's Court or struggle over the Edgware Road footbridge... This was before the Wimbleware and Circle swapped sides at Edgware Road.

LMS 4F said:

It is important to remember that come the next election of whatever sort all these people will have as many votes as everyone else.

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True, but that assumes several things (not an exhaustive list):

1. They can find their way to the polling station
2. The don't arrive too late.
3. They can mark the ballot paper correctly.

Of course a postal vote would be far too complicated.

yorkie said:

Probably a combination of factors, such as being inexperienced at rail travel and perhaps he is autistic.

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Yeah , some people need to be prompted , i knew someone who didnt know how to buy a ticket between Edinburgh and Glasgow.

PG said:

Maybe they think they are like shop doors which open automatically as you approach them?

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Used to see that on Hsts all the time