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LSWR Cavalier

LSWR Cavalier

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I spend my retirement doing jigsaw puzzles, just finished one, it took me seven months altogether, thousands of pieces of blue sky and blue water.

I must be doing well, seven months only, on the box it says "3-5 years".
 
Peter Mugridge

Peter Mugridge

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( Let's try getting this in the right thread this time!!! )



I've found the place where Derek trotter bought all his dodgy gear to re-sell... it really does exist!!


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Gloster

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I bought a portable radio/CD player with twin speakers capable of operating at a high volume. Mine is a special Basil Brush tie-in edition. It is a BOOM! BOOM! box.
 
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Calthrop

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There's a sailing ship whose First Mate is fussy, irritable, short-tempered and extremely hard to please. While the craft is tied up at the quayside, the crew have rolled up the sails, each around its relevant spar or whatever the appropriate length of wood is called (I'm bad on nautical jargon). The First Mate's critical eye is caught: he summons the several seamen who have been doing the rolling-up, and gives them a tongue-lashing for carrying it out in a disgracefully sloppy and untidy way; finishing by saying that he's damned if he knows which one of the wretches has done the most bloody awful job in this assignment. He stalks off, in his huff; when he's out of earshot, one of the chaps turns to the others; shrugs, sighs, and remarks: "Worst-furled problems..."
 
341o2

341o2

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And BBC Breakfast covered the fuel shortage with a special report from Phil McCann
 
GW43125

GW43125

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341o2 said:
And BBC Breakfast covered the fuel shortage with a special report from Phil McCann
Click to expand...
Firefighter Les McBurney was interviewed about a fire on an American news channel a few years ago.
 
341o2

341o2

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Mr & Mrs Stroker and their son William, yes he chose to be Willie
Mr & Mrs Ball and their daughter Krystal
 
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Calthrop

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One can't but think of some of the "and their [relative]..." atrocities perpetrated long ago by the radio series I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again: such as -- among the guests at the Greengrocers' and Fruiterers' Ball -- Mr. and Mrs. It from Australia; and their English grandmother, Pommy Gran It.
 
krus_aragon

krus_aragon

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Calthrop said:
One can't but think of some of the "and their [relative]..." atrocities perpetrated long ago by the radio series I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again: such as -- among the guests at the Greengrocers' and Fruiterers' Ball -- Mr. and Mrs. It from Australia; and their English grandmother, Pommy Gran It.
Click to expand...
Atrocities that were further perpetrated by I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue for many a year! :D
 
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OhNoAPacer

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This is an apocryphal tale I once came across

Albert Einstein is on a speaking tour of US universities. As he is being driven to his next venue he gets chatting with his driver, who was originally from Germany. His driver expresses great admiration for Einstein and says how enthralled he is listening to the lectures and how he could never hope to impart such knowledge to people. Einstein tuts and says that the lecture is all prepared and that anybody could deliver it.
As they get nearer to the venue Einstein chuckles and suggests to the driver that as Einstein has never met any of the people at the next university that maybe the driver, who bore a certain resemblance to Einstein should deliver the lecture.
After a few bouts of we couldn't do that could we, they decide to try and pull off the little prank.
After parking the driver hands Einstein his chauffeurs cap and they enter the auditorium. The driver plays his part perfectly, the lecture is delivered impeccably.
The driver is about to leave the lectern, relieved that he had got away with it, when a member of the audience stands up and shouts out a question involving complex knowledge of relativity and gravitational physics.
The driver stopped, and with barely a pause for thought responded "I am disappointed that such a simple question should come from an academic audience such as this, in fact the question is so simple I am going to let my driver answer it."
 
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duncanp

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Loppylugs said:
Agreed !!

What's the difference between paraffin and petrol?

Paraffin has two ff's but there's no effin' petrol!!
Click to expand...

Reminds me of a joke local to the West Midlands:-

"Is there a B&Q in Wolverhampton?"

" No, but there are two Ds in Dudley"
 
REVUpminster

REVUpminster

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The internet was down for a few hours....
But it's ok because I met some really nice people...
Turns out they live in my house....
And claim to be my family.
 
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