Hi all
I wondered if anyone could advise please. I'm an idiot (criminal!) - been short faring. Got caught. Issued with MG11. Ignorance of severity is no excuse, I have none, I'm still sat here scared trying to settle in the realness of it all.
I used to live in Essex, commute to work in London, very occasional different stops coming home, just normal life, all on my debit card, all legit.
(Concerning stations London Victoria and 25 return to station in Kent). Southeastern Railway.
I started travelling to Kent on (normally) one evening a week, back to london next morning. I'd go to Kent by bus on a saturday and monday I'd go to work from kent - I was seeing my partner, hence the one or 2 days Kent side. I short fared. Not always. Sometimes I'd bottle out and end up buying a proper ticket anyway. Sometimes it beat me down enough I'd not even get on, and catch a bus home to Essex instead, missing work. It really was a source of anxiety for me, and messed up, the 25 quid a time was killing my ability to save for house deposit - scared to lose our opportunity, extremely embarrassed at my finances... my partner is livid. And very hurt. None of that is excuse, just what my head was doing - feels like I might as well have stuck the train up with pistols, I know I shouldn't have done it. I felt like I could save for our future or see her regularly (once in week, and over weekend). I did do both for a while and found myself not managing it. Unsurprisingly, I've only just gained any grip on my finances in general recently and I'm 36!
Worse maybe, having moved to kent in lockdown, I still travelled one return journey a week, which is 25 a time and I kept up short faring, so about 8.20 - and only a few weeks ago, did the thing where I bottle out and buy a proper ticket anyway. I know my priorities were wrong. My weird head and body tried telling me too. I never felt jovial or clever doing this thing. Should have listened.
I was open and honest - I'm a good guy outside of this nonsense, I've heard of not being forthcoming with what'll get you in trouble later, "they can only prove..." blah blah - I don't want to hide, I know I've done bad, I'm terrified but just want it all sorted, not sit there batting back and forward, I don't want to dodge it. I think I'm going to prison, losing my job, killing my career and losing my love her home. I feel like I've blown it. Nearing a time where I'd be in the office more frequently, and yes I was going to get a season ticket loan from work, but I know saying that helps nothing. I told the plain clothes guys everything though probably panic-jumbled. They were really nice with me, props to them. I always knew it'd come but had hoped I'd have my one location, one season ticket and be very sorry and pay it all back now I'm past the mad house deposit years. I was never proud doing it - and that helps nothing.
Probably a million questions I need to ask but right now I can only think about how to sort it, so -
Always used my debit card, very rarely credit card, always bought A ticket, so I'm hoping they have a log of every time I've done it. Will they?
I'm absolutely pooing it and the thought of having to audit it all myself is scaring me more in case I mess it up - I hope they can see it all and just beat me with sticks now. I'd love to pay out of court but too worried to think straight and it was about 3 years, mostly twice a week, sometimes once. I'm sure this is no slap, no quiet payment. I think I've mashed my future and everything I've strived for. Really not cut out for crime!
Thanks so much for any advice
I wondered if anyone could advise please. I'm an idiot (criminal!) - been short faring. Got caught. Issued with MG11. Ignorance of severity is no excuse, I have none, I'm still sat here scared trying to settle in the realness of it all.
I used to live in Essex, commute to work in London, very occasional different stops coming home, just normal life, all on my debit card, all legit.
(Concerning stations London Victoria and 25 return to station in Kent). Southeastern Railway.
I started travelling to Kent on (normally) one evening a week, back to london next morning. I'd go to Kent by bus on a saturday and monday I'd go to work from kent - I was seeing my partner, hence the one or 2 days Kent side. I short fared. Not always. Sometimes I'd bottle out and end up buying a proper ticket anyway. Sometimes it beat me down enough I'd not even get on, and catch a bus home to Essex instead, missing work. It really was a source of anxiety for me, and messed up, the 25 quid a time was killing my ability to save for house deposit - scared to lose our opportunity, extremely embarrassed at my finances... my partner is livid. And very hurt. None of that is excuse, just what my head was doing - feels like I might as well have stuck the train up with pistols, I know I shouldn't have done it. I felt like I could save for our future or see her regularly (once in week, and over weekend). I did do both for a while and found myself not managing it. Unsurprisingly, I've only just gained any grip on my finances in general recently and I'm 36!
Worse maybe, having moved to kent in lockdown, I still travelled one return journey a week, which is 25 a time and I kept up short faring, so about 8.20 - and only a few weeks ago, did the thing where I bottle out and buy a proper ticket anyway. I know my priorities were wrong. My weird head and body tried telling me too. I never felt jovial or clever doing this thing. Should have listened.
I was open and honest - I'm a good guy outside of this nonsense, I've heard of not being forthcoming with what'll get you in trouble later, "they can only prove..." blah blah - I don't want to hide, I know I've done bad, I'm terrified but just want it all sorted, not sit there batting back and forward, I don't want to dodge it. I think I'm going to prison, losing my job, killing my career and losing my love her home. I feel like I've blown it. Nearing a time where I'd be in the office more frequently, and yes I was going to get a season ticket loan from work, but I know saying that helps nothing. I told the plain clothes guys everything though probably panic-jumbled. They were really nice with me, props to them. I always knew it'd come but had hoped I'd have my one location, one season ticket and be very sorry and pay it all back now I'm past the mad house deposit years. I was never proud doing it - and that helps nothing.
Probably a million questions I need to ask but right now I can only think about how to sort it, so -
Always used my debit card, very rarely credit card, always bought A ticket, so I'm hoping they have a log of every time I've done it. Will they?
I'm absolutely pooing it and the thought of having to audit it all myself is scaring me more in case I mess it up - I hope they can see it all and just beat me with sticks now. I'd love to pay out of court but too worried to think straight and it was about 3 years, mostly twice a week, sometimes once. I'm sure this is no slap, no quiet payment. I think I've mashed my future and everything I've strived for. Really not cut out for crime!
Thanks so much for any advice
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