Are some people not cut out to drive?

[778]

I tried learning to drive about 10 years ago, but could not get anywhere. I had problems judging distances (kept getting too close to the kerb), and was awful at changing gears (do not manage to do it once). I decided to quit after a few lessons.

I can get by ok without driving, but it is frowned upon (not so much on this forum), for a man to be a non driver.

Surely there must be other people who have tried to learn, but could not do it?

 

[bearhugger]

Based on my own observations, I don't think it's frowned upon by the younger generation so much now (I'm 49 and observations are from my kids who are early 20s and others of similar age around). Did you try some different instructors and did they try to work on the issues you were having?

 

[AlterEgo]

I can drive but I do know a couple of people who simply can't, and have tried many times. There is aptitude in driving and some people, as you say, just are not made for it.

However, quitting after only a few lessons probably isn't a barometer of whether you can drive or not. I was hopeless for the first 5-6 lessons, especially with the gears, but it's a bit like riding a bicycle - you eventually get the knack.

Even today if someone asks me "which foot do you brake with?" I need to think about it!

 

[Essan]

I can get by ok without driving, but it is frowned upon (not so much on this forum), for a man to be a non driver.

Attitudes are definitey changing - and I know a number of people my age (mid 50s) who do not drive. In my case, basically I never really needed a car (I did learn to drive but never got around to taking my test due to a change of job)

 

[778]

Based on my own observations, I don't think it's frowned upon by the younger generation so much now (I'm 49 and observations are from my kids who are early 20s and others of similar age around). Did you try some different instructors and did they try to work on the issues you were having?

The instructor was very good. Maybe I left it too late. Maybe if I tried to learn at 17, instead of 30 I would have been better at it. That said, I have always had problems with my co-ordination (dyspraxia?), since I was young. I have always been clumsy and bump into things quite a lot. It probably is for the best that I don't drive.

I can drive but I do know a couple of people who simply can't, and have tried many times. There is aptitude in driving and some people, as you say, just are not made for it.

However, quitting after only a few lessons probably isn't a barometer of whether you can drive or not. I was hopeless for the first 5-6 lessons, especially with the gears, but it's a bit like riding a bicycle - you eventually get the knack.

Even today if someone asks me "which foot do you brake with?" I need to think about it!

I was not very good at riding a bike as well. I think I will stick to walking and public transport.

 

[birchesgreen]

I didn't start learning until i was 30, i did end up having 50 lessons, about 30 of them were a complete waste of time where i didn't progress, even regressed. But it just clicked in the end and i passed on the second attempt.

I have terrible co-ordination too to be honest.

 

[66701GBRF]

I tried learning to drive about 10 years ago, but could not get anywhere. I had problems judging distances (kept getting too close to the kerb), and was awful at changing gears (do not manage to do it once). I decided to quit after a few lessons.

I can get by ok without driving, but it is frowned upon (not so much on this forum), for a man to be a non driver.

Surely there must be other people who have tried to learn, but could not do it?

I don't think it is frowned upon. Many people don't bother with cars these days unless actually needed.

If you have problems with gears you could always use automatics. Would then be easier to concentrate on the other areas. You could always go back to learning gears later on in life.

 

[Baxenden Bank]

I can drive but I do know a couple of people who simply can't, and have tried many times. There is aptitude in driving and some people, as you say, just are not made for it.

However, quitting after only a few lessons probably isn't a barometer of whether you can drive or not. I was hopeless for the first 5-6 lessons, especially with the gears, but it's a bit like riding a bicycle - you eventually get the knack.

Even today if someone asks me "which foot do you brake with?" I need to think about it!

ABC [accelerator, brake, clutch] - and I've never had a lesson, but that doesn't tell me which foot! I'll guess left so that you can't both accelerate and brake at the same time?

In answer to the OP, correct, some people simply aren't cut out to drive.

It could be for the reasons you mention, or their attitude eg towards other road users. Lack of a driving licence should not be seen as a failure although many jobs now seem to require it even where driving doesn't seem all that essential, such as where an occasional taxi would meet the travel needs of the job. Driving is seen by many as a right [even an absolute right] rather than a privilege which can be taken away. Those that don't drive [or have an easy lift or can afford a taxi wherever] are becoming increasingly marginalised with many things moving out of town, bus services being cut and so on. Much as I disagree with my younger self on this, I would now recommend everyone who can do so does learn to drive, and builds up some experience, even if they don't buy a car.

 

[jfollows]

I tried learning to drive about 10 years ago, but could not get anywhere. I had problems judging distances (kept getting too close to the kerb), and was awful at changing gears (do not manage to do it once). I decided to quit after a few lessons.

I can get by ok without driving, but it is frowned upon (not so much on this forum), for a man to be a non driver.

Surely there must be other people who have tried to learn, but could not do it?

My partner learned to drive after I had a stroke; essentially I was temporarily banned from driving and he couldn't drive. I'm now able to drive again. Anyway, he certainly used to drive too close to the kerb at first, but now he's fine, it was a matter of experience. And he chose to get an automatic-only license, which probably makes more sense now than when I learned to drive in 1978. I also see people driving today who clearly shouldn't be, the lady who drove through the red light yesterday for example. I don't think anyone can't drive and can't pass the test, it's about attitude and perseverance. I failed my first test, by the way.

 

[THC]

Yes. Me. I had four driving lessons back in 1996, hated every moment and have never sat behind a wheel since.

THC

 

[yorksrob]

Me too. Had some lessons when Mr Major was at the helm, but concluded I was not suitable.

 

[gg1]

That said, I have always had problems with my co-ordination (dyspraxia?), since I was young. I have always been clumsy and bump into things quite a lot. It probably is for the best that I don't drive.

I've always had very poor co-ordination too, I was diagnosed with dysgraphia as a child but have have often wondered if I have undiagnosed dyspraxia too as I tick a lot of the boxes. Oddly I took to driving really quickly, I passed my test first time when I was 17, 3 months after me first lesson, though I did have the advantage of a lot of practice with my dad as well as 'proper' lessons with an instructor.

I do think learning as early as possible is a huge help, most people I know who learnt in their teens and early 20s did so pretty quickly whereas those I know who learnt in later life seemed to struggle, and when they did pass weren't especially confident drivers.

 

[MP33]

There are people who wanted to drive in Motorsport and found they were not up to it.

Chris Evans who on Top Gear whenever he was driven around a race track in a saloon car was car sick.

Noel Edmonds who had a financial interest in a car in the Le Mans 24 hour race and was told he was nowhere near good enough to get anywhere near the race.

Somebody I knew who officiated in Motorsport told me that the late Mike Smith who worked with Noel Edmonds was actually quite good at it.

 

[Welly]

Don't worry - I found it difficult to learn to drive, I had some lessons when I was 17 but could not co-ordinate the gear changes and was too nervous behind the wheel. I gave up then re-started at 22 with a different instructor but was stiil just as bad. Eventually at 32 I really really needed to be able to drive so I managed to find an instructor with a high level of patience, bought my first car (manual gears naturally) , had loads of practice between (twice weekly) lessons and after 50 lessons just managed to pass first time!

 

[Calthrop]

I do think learning as early as possible is a huge help, most people I know who learnt in their teens and early 20s did so pretty quickly whereas those I know who learnt in later life seemed to struggle, and when they did pass weren't especially confident drivers.

Not invariably thus: I took lessons aged eighteen (over half a century ago) -- it quickly became evident that I was very far from a born driver. I'm very bad at concentrating, at any rate in situations / contexts such as this one; and panic easily. My instructor -- this his official job (British School of Motoring if I recall correctly) seemed somewhat untalented at his job -- sympathy / empathy / patience not his strong suits -- told me in so many words that as a potential driver, I was unpromising verging on hopeless; this did not do wonders for my confidence.

In actuality if not in principle, I abandoned the whole thing from then on -- never took another paid-for lesson, never took a driving test. It would seem certain that to have a chance of passing the test, I'd have needed a number of successive attempts, and a massive amount of practice: generally, the opportunity was not there for that quantity of practice; and I never felt highly motivated to learn to drive. The accomplishment would potentially in some ways, have increased my enjoyment of life; but I've never felt that greatly deprived or disadvantaged, by being a non-driver. Have never married or had a family, which has helped in that direction -- and have always lived in relatively densely-populated parts of England, where public transport has been reasonably good in comparison with many parts of the planet. I feel overall that the world has been a safer place, for my not attempting to conduct motor vehicles around in any part of it.

 

[Busaholic]

I've been driving since 1981, driven at least 600,000 miles (until about two years ago was driving at least 13,000 miles p.a.) but never done it for a living. I drive a manual, petrol car, but I've had one diesel (pig of a car) and two automatics, one accidentally! I know virtually nothing about what goes on under the bonnet, though I've learned how to top up the radiator and oil. Can't be too bad a driver, never had a reportable accident or been prosecuted other than a couple of speeding fines in early traffic camera days. No doubt I'd be unable to pass the theory part of the modern test, nor could I begin to teach someone else to drive, but driving has always come naturally to me. I can barely bang a nail into the wall, by the way, so it's 'horses for courses.'

 

[steamybrian]

I started learning when I was in my early 20s but could not understand the clutch control with gear changes.
Later in life in my early 40s a friend said why not learn automatic transmission. I took to it straight way!!! Just put it in forward gear then concentrate on steering....!
I then understood that by using markers (such as part of the bodywork or a mark on the windscreen) on the front of the car I could judge clearances better.
Reverse parking I worked by using the mirror.
Passed my driving test in 1993.

 

[Strathclyder]

Apart from not having the financial means to even take driving lessons (I don't work and I don't think my dad is well enough to teach me the basics now, manual or auto), let alone owning/maintaining/insuring a car, I strongly suspect that I'm simply not cut out for it from a practical perspective.

Non-existent self-confidence levels (in both myself and my abilities), my concentration tends to lapse easily, the clutch control/gear changes would fry my brain if I had a manual and I'd always be worrying about hitting something or someone, irrespective of the transmission type my car had, to say nothing of having to deal with other road users generally. Utterly hopeless in short. Though I suspect my hand will be forced if my dad's health backslides further and he can't drive anymore.

Oh yes, it would make my life that much easier in many ways and part of me wants to learn, I'd have greater freedoms (plus it wouldn't feel like my friends are rubbing their ability to drive in my face every time they post pics of themselves on road/daytrips etc on social media, though that's likely an issue I need to work on myself) and I wouldn't have to rely on public transport as much as I do (not really an issue considering where I live, but it does have it's limits), but the tradeoffs just aren't worth it for me, especially now that I've left it this late.

To be honest, this isn't a subject I like talking about all that much, as it does my self-confidence - which is practically non-existent at the best of times - no favours at all and leaves me cursing myself and my mental frailties.

 

[DanNCL]

I’m only the second person from my Mother’s family that’s actually been able to continue driving lessons through to the point of taking a driving test (and hopefully passing, my test is in a few weeks). The rest spent a long time trying to learn but simply couldn’t get the hang of it. I think it’s more common for people to not be cut out for driving than many realise.

For those who are struggling with gear changes but otherwise alright driving I’d strongly recommend taking lessons in an automatic. Although taking your test in an automatic does mean you can only drive an automatic, it’s much better than not being able to drive at all. Plus with the increasing prevalence of electric cars, manual gear changes may largely be a thing of the past in the next 10-15 years anyway.

 

[Bletchleyite]

With manuals being quickly a thing of the past as EVs take over, I am sure I recall reading that there will no longer be a separate licence for manual/automatic, though I forget when it comes into force.

 

[jfollows]

My partner, on the other hand, never bothered with driving until he was in his 40s, I had a stroke and was temporarily banned from driving (I've no problem with that) so he decided to learn to drive, started lessons on a Monday and passed his test on Friday. Automatic, mind you. He said that he was overwhelmed until into day two, at which point his thought process was along the lines of "if all the other idiots I see driving are good enough to pass the driving test, then I should be fine" and of course he was. I was impressed, mind you.

 

[krus_aragon]

My wife's had some driving lessons at various times over the years, but after a few occasions where she's frozen up with indecision, she concluded that she doesn't want the responsibility of driving a 1 ton lump of metal around. (The thought of having our kids sat in the back seat didn't help things.) The fact that we now live within walking distance of a town centre, and a short bus ride from her parents, means it's not too much of an inconvenience.

Her mother is also uninterested in driving. She once got a job that required her to take driving lessons, but her husband (recently retired) was happy to give her a lift wherever and pick her up at the end of the day. Enquiries about whether she'd passed her test were referred back to the wording of her contract.

 

[NoRoute]

Try learning in an automatic, it removes most of the tasks which are difficult and stressful while you are learning and developing your driving skills, like trying to coordinate various activities when moving away, pulling out into traffic, turning or maneuvering because there's no gear changes, no clutch operation, no possibility of stalling it. It lets you focus pretty much all your attention on the road and steering.

Automatics used to be rare and an automatic license would be limiting, but with the growth of hybrid cars (which are mostly automatics) and EVs there's now a much bigger selection and the old disadvantages of automatics being inefficient have gone, they are now invariably the cleaner, greener and more efficient choice.

I passed my test in a manual car and drove manual cars for many years, but the latest automatic hybrids are very nice to drive because even as an experienced driver the removal of need to change gears, operate clutch etc makes them a very relaxing car to drive, I doubt I will ever own a manual car again.

 

[LSWR Cavalier]

Plenty of people manage to pass the test ("minor" mistakes do not lead to failure) but do not bother much with proper driving later.

I have read many reports of car wrecks where someone made to turn off, slowed down before a junction, two or three or more drivers behind were following too close and crashed into each other.

Obviously many people are not cut out to drive.

 

[D6130]

My father presented me with a provisional driving licence on my 17th birthday (47 years ago now) and told me to book some driving lessons immediately. As a rebellious teenager who didn't like being told what to do - and a rail and bus enthusiast - I decided to put the licence in the bottom of my sock drawer and leave it there until it expired three years later. Soon afterwards, my father persuaded me - fairly forcefully - to have a go at driving his Volvo 340 on a private estate. I too had severe difficulty co-ordinating the steering with the acceleration/braking/clutching and decided at that point that there were already far too many idiots on the roads without me adding to their number. Mind, it didn't stop me from successfully driving trains for more than twenty years....with the steering element removed, of course. During the course of my 37 year railway career, I've known quite a few train drivers who don't drive road vehicles. I'm lucky to have lived for the last forty years in - or on the edge of - pleasant country market towns with good rail and bus connections....and that includes our place in Italy.

My wife, on the other hand, had to learn to drive, even though she hates it with a vengeance. Having been brought-up in a rural area of North Yorkshire - and having, sadly, lost her father while in her early twenties - she needed to be able to drive her mother, who never learned to drive, around for hospital appointments, family visits, etc.....although there was an hourly (now two hourly) bus service from her village to the nearest market town. In addition, my wife needed to be able to drive for her job as a rural librarian with North Yorkshire County Council. However, by the time her mother died in 2014, she was working as a university librarian in Leeds and commuting by rail - free of charge, thanks to my job. After clearing her mother's house and selling it, we decided that the cost of insuring and maintaining the car was not worthwhile, as it was sitting outside the house without turning a wheel for up to three months at a time....so we sold it. However my wife has recently renewed her driving licence, just in case we need to make the occasional essential journey using our local car-sharing co-operative.

 

[Snow1964]

Like others, I would suggest going the automatic route. Reduces it to steering and altering your speed, and awareness of hazards.

I learnt in early 1980s when cars had 4 gears, but have been driving autos for about 20 years, so much easier (but I did live in outer London where traffic and traffic lights mean only a gear changing diehard would want a manual).

The key to steering is understanding where you sit is not in centre of the car so you need to keep to a line about 70% to the right in your traffic lane. Master that and you can steer it. Although I do understand some people cannot do it.

 

[ac6000cw]

Like others, I would suggest going the automatic route. Reduces it to steering and altering your speed, and awareness of hazards.

I'd agree with that - just makes things a whole lot easier, particularly in urban areas (I drive both manual and automatics regularly, but learnt on a manual car).

But driving isn't for everyone, just like lots of other activities - we're all different. A close relative managed to pass his driving test, but really doesn't like driving so hasn't for many years and gets around by bus mostly (and his wife likes driving so that works out fine between them).

I think if you want to learn something, you really need to *want* to do it (rather than someone else telling you you should do something). I had a real fear of water when I was young, and just couldn't handle learning to swim at school. But when I got to my mid twenties I decided that I really ought to be able to swim, so I just went to adult swimming classes and worked my way from beginner to the advanced classes and quite enjoy swimming now.

 

[nw1]

I tried learning to drive about 10 years ago, but could not get anywhere. I had problems judging distances (kept getting too close to the kerb), and was awful at changing gears (do not manage to do it once). I decided to quit after a few lessons.

I can get by ok without driving, but it is frowned upon (not so much on this forum), for a man to be a non driver.

I've never fully learnt to drive, though I would if need dictated it. Had a few lessons aged around 19 or 20, but lacked the motivation, and at that age, the confidence. Having lived in large towns and cities with reasonable public transport since the age of 18, there has never been a pressing need.

Multi-tasking isn't really a strength of mine (I prefer to devote concentration to one task at a time), which meant that when I tried it, I probably found it more difficult than average.

However, in response to your comment that it's "frowned upon for a man to be a non-driver"? Who by?

People with such attitudes don't deserve being listened to, IMO. Sounds like an incredibly outdated attitude. It's up to the individual whether they drive or not, not some judgmental third-party.

 

[ac6000cw]

It's up to the individual whether they drive or not, not some judgmental third-party.

Exactly!

Until I left Uni I'd always lived in large urban areas with decent bus & train services, but then I moved to a much smaller city. After about 5 years I decided that I wanted a car to get to places out in the surrounding areas which couldn't easily be reached by public transport, particularly in the evenings & on Sundays, so I learnt to drive.

 

[DelW]

I passed my test in a manual car and drove manual cars for many years, but the latest automatic hybrids are very nice to drive because even as an experienced driver the removal of need to change gears, operate clutch etc makes them a very relaxing car to drive, I doubt I will ever own a manual car again.

I'd agree with that. Having owned and driven manual cars for fifty years (apart from the occasional hire car, mainly in the USA), I recently bought a PHEV, with a six-speed auto on petrol and a fixed ratio on electric. I really notice the difference in stop-start traffic, where previously I'd have been constantly on and off the clutch and in and out of first gear. Now it's all done with one foot on accelerator and brake, without even having the engine running (as long as I've got enough battery charge).

After some stressful experiences driving an LHD manual car in heavy traffic in Italy a few years ago*, I said that in future I'd always go auto if hiring a left-hooker again. Now I'd probably extend the same philosophy here as well.

* (trying to drive and navigate simultaneously in crazy Italian traffic, every now and then I'd find myself trying to change gear with my left hand, which only found the window winder)