Before you read this, I would just like to say that it took me a lot of courage to write this up. I have worried that I will get judged on some lifestyle choices I made in the past, but I feel that now is the time to disclose and get this off my chest.
I was diagnosed with high functioning Autism at the age of 3. Like many people on the spectrum, I developed a fascination for trains, buses and public transport before I started school. Throughout my childhood, my main strength was being able to memorise timetables and maps off by heart. I would also spend much of my spare time drawing road layouts and transport maps, something that would adapt and evolve over time. One of my biggest claims to fame is that I designed the very first bus route map for the college I was attending at the time, which was published in its official travel brochure and has been updated ever since. I had not been set a brief or anything - I was just so obsessed with sketching lines in MS paint at the time that I would simply de-stress by creating a map of a particular place with no intention that it would ever be used for official publicity.
I'm not sure if this is a strength or weakness, or even related to my autism, but one trend I've observed throughout my life is that I never really had much ambition to live a hugely successful and materialistic lifestyle, preferring to forego having luxury items in favour of making friends and being there for other people. I was always a hard working and well-behaved kid at school but I think I was just like that because I had been brought up to respect others, and also because I hated the idea of being punished and having things taken away from me. Because I had attended a special needs school right from the age of 5 up to 16, I was in classes with pupils who weren't as academically capable as me and who would need round the clock support into adulthood. I was one of the brightest pupils in the entire school and at one point my parents were pushing really hard for me to gain a mainstream education, but at the time I felt that the risks would outweigh the benefits.
I left school in 2014 without any GCSEs since my school didn't offer them, but was able to progress straight to a mainstream level 1 course at college. This in turn enabled me to progress to level 2 and level 3 while also taking English and Maths, before finishing in 2018. Throughout this period I met a lot of fellow students but it was also becoming more apparent that I was different from most. While I enjoyed being in a more mature environment, I was also finding that I was struggling to keep up with my workload and would often have to catch up in my spare time. This was something of a culture shock to me having spent much of my educational life in a special needs setting, but I was driven to attend all my lessons, which helped me achieve the grades to go on to university.
Speaking of which, going to university was one of the highest points of my life to date. I never believed I would ever be capable of going until attending a transitions fair at my college, backed up by positive testimonials from my tutors. Despite not having an idea of what I wanted to do afterwards (or whether I even wanted a career over a job at all!), I really wanted to go for the independence and social opportunities university life would give me, which I had missed out on for much of my childhood. I chose to study Graphic Design as I wanted to improve my map-making skills, but I never had any intention of turning this into a career at the time. In fact I regrettably didn't really have much understanding of the world of work at the time, as I will explain in my next paragraph.
Preparing for the world of work has been a bumpy ride to say the least, not least because the job market is so competitive and you need to stand out from the crowd in order to be hired, which was a difficult concept for me to grasp considering I believed I was academically and socially behind the majority of my generation as a result of my autism. I was never really motivated to have a lot of money and possessions, hence would often forego work and the luxuries that come with it during my student years in favour of spending more time with loved ones and catching up with studies. Throughout my college years, I had several voluntary roles but didn't gain my first paid job until the summer before starting university in 2018. This was only a summer job however, and after that I wouldn't gain any further employment until the autumn of 2021. I had a mental breakdown after my first year when I burned myself out after studying too hard, then for the next two summers COVID came along and knocked my confidence again, not to mention that the summer job market was pretty much nonexistent during that time.
Weirdly however, I'd say that the period of COVID from September 2020 onwards was a silver lining for me. Despite never agreeing with the harsh restrictions such as the rule of 6 and limited opening hours of pubs, I found that the lockdowns were helping me to complete my studies to a much higher standard than ever before. With no social distractions, I felt more confident in myself and was driven to complete my final projects to the best of my ability, all despite the university library being closed throughout January and being alone in halls (mostly so I didn't have to be cooped up with my parents!). I finished with a 2:1 and went on to study a Master's in Visual Communication, mainly to diversify my skillset and make up for the fact that I had missed opportunities because of COVID and a lack of self-confidence.
Around this time, I also started working for a local hospitality agency, taking on shifts to fit around my postgraduate studies. This was where I began to develop a better understanding of the world of work, since I had more life experience from interacting with people at university and sharing experiences. With the flexibility these shifts offered, I was able to take on more shifts at a pace I was suited to, and while some venues I have worked at were better than others, I'd say I have had a positive experience with them overall. I continued to work for the agency after finishing my studies before eventually taking on an ongoing role at a local private school in March this year. The team there were really impressed with my work ethic, so much so that they encouraged me to apply to work directly for them, and as of June I secured the job and am now working there full time. The role is very structured and does not require much contact with people which is very compatible with my strengths, and I can safely say that I thoroughly enjoy being part of the team despite the role not being related to my area of study at all.
Some people might say "Why did you waste your time studying for two degrees when you could have just got that job straight out of school?", but the point stands that there is so much more to university than just studying for increased career prospects. You gain a ton of social and life skills that help you in any job, not just a graduate one, and it at least gives you a diverse set of skills should you choose to change career. I sometimes wonder if I should have pushed myself to take a job during college, but if I had done that, I probably wouldn't have produced my coursework to as high a standard as I have. To this day, I am still working on freelance design projects during my spare time and while it might not be my main source of income, this kind of work is an incredibly valuable thing to do to give back to the community, and will definitely improve my CV.
Which brings me to my final point, I don't know whether it's just me or an autism thing in general, but I find another strength of mine is that I can pick skills back up where I have left off if I haven't been using them for a while. For example, I passed my driving test in 2016 but had no ambition of driving alone, let alone getting my own car - I think I simply did it to improve my social status. I stopped driving just before starting university and didn't pick it back up again until last month, but I feel I have grasped the car controls and Highway Code instantly from visual memory, and am more confident about driving alone and getting my own car than ever before. I am working up to achieving the former next month, and the latter around the end of the year.
So yes, autism can bring many challenges which make achieving life milestones much harder than normal, but overcoming these challenges make the hard work even more rewarding. I believe that there is no shame in not keeping up with the Joneses or having life goals that don't align with the status quo (such as not wanting a big house and kids for example), and I hope this will be recognised more widely in years to come.
I'm flying to NYC in September after multiple delays (for reference, we were first due to go in June 2019, and I think this is the fifth or sixth date we've set), so this'll be a new experience. Quite looking forward to my first long-haul flight, though!
