Auto Anouncments - Errors/funny sayings

Status
Not open for further replies.

Jim

Established Member
Joined
11 Jun 2005
Messages
3,162
Location
Wick
What funny errors have you hears - heard then?


A few great ones have to be performed by Dorris, the Wessex Anouncer.

The next train to arrive at Platform 3 is the 1306 First Great WEstern High Speed service to London Paddington, calling at Pewsey, Hungerford, Newbury, Thatham, (deep voice) Hatch End (Supposed to be Theale), Reading, Slough & London Paddington

Another great 1 has to be by Phil

Platform 9 for the 2250 First Great Western High Speed service to Westbury, calling at Keynsham, Oldfield Park, Bath Spa, Freshford, Bradford on Avon, Trowbridge & Westbury. Customers may request to stop at Avoncliff by contacting the conductor onboard the train. Platform 9 for the 2250 First Great Western High Speed
 
Sponsor Post - registered members do not see these adverts; click here to register, or click here to log in
R

RailUK Forums

devon_metro

Established Member
Joined
11 Oct 2005
Messages
7,561
Location
London
Torquay:
Platform 1 for the 0951 First Great western High speed ( was actually VT) to Paignton calling at Paignton Only.
 

Nick W

Established Member
Joined
5 Nov 2005
Messages
1,438
Location
Cambridge
I remember at Ipswich where one train was announced by Dorris and canceled immediate after. No pause. Many commuters laughed.
 

Max

Forum Staff
Staff Member
Administrator
Joined
8 Jun 2005
Messages
5,366
Location
Cardiff
An amusing one at East Garforth from Phil - you were with us at the time too Jim :p

*Platform 1 for the 1502 Northern service to Wakefield Westgate. Calling at Garforth, Crossgates, Leeds, Bramley, New Pudsey, Bradford Interchange, Halifax, Brighouse, Huddersfield, Deighton, Mirfield, Wakefield Kirkgate and Wakefield Westgate. A trolley service of drinks and light refreshments is available on this train*

Firstly, Northern don't have trolleys, and secondly this is a local pacer/150 operated service :lol:

And another, also on the same day at Leeds:

*The next train to depart from platform xx will be the 0931 service to *silence*. Calling at York and *silence*...*

This was the charter bound for Whitby, but obviously Whitby isn't in the system.
 

AJP

Established Member
Joined
30 Sep 2005
Messages
1,148
Location
Doncaster
How about this at Sheffield, 'Next train to arrive at platform 2B is the 14:11 transpennine express service to Doncaster via Doncaster calling at Meadowhall and Doncaster' :lol:
 

devon_metro

Established Member
Joined
11 Oct 2005
Messages
7,561
Location
London
AJP said:
How about this at Sheffield, 'Next train to arrive at platform 2B is the 14:11 transpennine express service to Doncaster via Doncaster calling at Meadowhall and Doncaster' :lol:
Where is it going? :?

:lol:
 
T

Tom

Guest
I once heard this on a SWT Desiro going to London Waterloo, from Winchester.

"This is a South West Trains service to London Waterlooand* the next station is *silence*." The next station was Basingstoke, now you'd assume it couldn't say Basingstoke but no, it was just an off thing as when we approached it ... "The next station is Basingstoke" :)

But you can't beat the stuff they do with the announcers on railtours ... once heard at Weymouth...

"The train now standing at platform 2 is the 1708 South West Trains service to Paris Nord, calling at Dorchester South, Wareham, Poole, Bournemouth, London Waterloo International and Paris Nord."

"The train approaching platform 1 is the 1224 First Great Western service to Kyle of Lochalsh (sp?), calling at Weymouth and Kyle of Lochalsh."

"The train now approaching platform 2 is the 1808 First Great Western Hibernian (wtf?!) service to Ramsgate ... calling at all stations to Ramsgate"

* disclaimer in first quote: Waterlooand*, mainly because there is no gap between the destination and and on SWT announcements!
 

Gareth Hale

Member
Joined
11 Jun 2005
Messages
941
Its not Exactly railway based but when I last flew to the UK, I was going to heathrow, and we all got a Gatwick map on our TV's and the flight attendant said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Chicago O'hare, excuse me, I mean London Heathrow, the current local time is 06:59AM'

I have been on VT where they apologies for been 1 minute early.

Or how about

Platform 1 for the xx: xx GNER service to London Kings Cross calling at London Kings Cross only, if you are not willing to travel, please do not board this train.

Who will board a train if your not willing to travel?!?!
 

Lewisham2221

Member
Joined
23 Jun 2005
Messages
1,014
Location
Staffordshire
Gareth Hale said:
Who will board a train if your not willing to travel?!?!
I've seen people who aren't travelling get onto the train with their friend who is travelling to help them with luggage and to say Goodbye, tends to happen at stations like Manchester, where there aren't ticket barriers and trains are sitting for a while before departure.
 

matt

Forum Staff
Staff Member
Global Moderator
Joined
30 Jun 2005
Messages
6,839
Location
Rugby
On the West Coast Desiros on the approach to New Street it used to say in a female voice "Birmingham New Street is a no smoking Zone" but the is a was in a very deep computerised voice. It sounded very funny but it has been fixed now
 

313103

Established Member
Joined
13 May 2006
Messages
1,595
You get these at Richmond:

'The next train from and will terminate at this station'

'Stand well away from the edge of platform 4 the next train is not scheduled to stop at this station'. Change 4 for 3,5,6 or 7. The significance of this, each of the platforms is a terminal point.
 

Sprinter

Member
Joined
14 Jun 2005
Messages
319
Location
Walthamstow, London
A common occurence, of which I noted about three times in one day on the Salisbury- Exeter line is that of "This train is formed of 3 coaches".....only once was Phil right! The other times either a 6 car 159 pulled in or two coach 158786!!!
 

HSTfan!!!

Established Member
Joined
11 Jun 2005
Messages
1,966
Gareth Hale said:
Platform 1 for the xx: xx GNER service to London Kings Cross calling at London Kings Cross only, if you are not willing to travel, please do not board this train.

Who will board a train if your not willing to travel?!?!
I managed to once..... (albeit on porter duties at Newport Station but I did manage it!)
 

87015

Established Member
Joined
3 Mar 2006
Messages
4,469
Location
GEML/WCML/SR
350xxx....
1833 Brum-Walsall and return, obviously no stations in system. All announcements from awaiting departure at New St were "this train has completed its journey and is not in service". Thats approaching every station...
No manual PA announcements (very poor), result around 90% of the normals pile off at Duddeston...!
Said train didn't last as a 350 for long after some serious complaints with this daily farce
 

1D53

Established Member
Joined
2 Apr 2006
Messages
2,574
laverack222 said:
An amusing one at East Garforth from Phil - you were with us at the time too Jim :p

*Platform 1 for the 1502 Northern service to Wakefield Westgate. Calling at Garforth, Crossgates, Leeds, Bramley, New Pudsey, Bradford Interchange, Halifax, Brighouse, Huddersfield, Deighton, Mirfield, Wakefield Kirkgate and Wakefield Westgate. A trolley service of drinks and light refreshments is available on this train*

Firstly, Northern don't have trolleys, and secondly this is a local pacer/150 operated service :lol:

And another, also on the same day at Leeds:

*The next train to depart from platform xx will be the 0931 service to *silence*. Calling at York and *silence*...*

This was the charter bound for Whitby, but obviously Whitby isn't in the system.
Leeds's system is useless, didn't have Finsbury Park for GNER weekend diversions either. It also announces "this service is delayed by *silence* minutes".

I've heard that Trolley announcement at EGF before, it does randomly play it every so often, plus announcing it as 2 minutes late!
 

Guinness

Established Member
Joined
13 Jun 2005
Messages
3,737
Cock Up with Miss Piccadilly.

"Platform 3 for the 1010 Marple Rose Hill service (Should be First North Western - Was a while ago) for Marple Rose Hill. Calling at Marple Rose Hill only. Front 3 Coaches for Marple Rose Hill and rear 3 coaches for Marple Rose Hill."
 

matt

Forum Staff
Staff Member
Global Moderator
Joined
30 Jun 2005
Messages
6,839
Location
Rugby
On a desiro service today to Northampton it was due to stop at Brum Intl, Coventry, Rugby, Long Buckby and Northampton but the auto announcer thoguht it was stopping at the local stations between Intl and Coventry. So it said "the next station is Hampton In Arden" as we fly through the station
 

heart-of-wessex

Established Member
Joined
11 Jun 2005
Messages
2,854
Location
Trowbridge
once at doncaster i think the manual announcment was on

'..platform xx for the xx.xx serivce to xxx......(can hear slight talking going on)...hmmmm oh is that a Pizza? mmm smell lovely...can I have some....whats that?....yeah....oh b *end* by that time she realised she left the mic on!

at Newton Abbot 'The train now approaching platform (2?) is the xx.xx Virgin Trains serivce to Plymouth. Calling at Ivybridge and Plymouth (SWT 159 turns up bound for Plymouth)
 

devon_metro

Established Member
Joined
11 Oct 2005
Messages
7,561
Location
London
heart-of-wessex said:
at Newton Abbot 'The train now approaching platform (2?) is the xx.xx Virgin Trains serivce to Plymouth. Calling at Ivybridge and Plymouth (SWT 159 turns up bound for Plymouth)
Un-usaul, it's the man at Newton Abbot, certainly wasnt VT as tehy stop at Ivybridge!
 

Andrew

Member
Joined
7 Jun 2005
Messages
175
dvn1357 said:
Un-usaul, it's the man at Newton Abbot, certainly wasnt VT as tehy stop at Ivybridge!
What?! Sorry, I can't figure out any meaning from that piece of writing.
 

devon_metro

Established Member
Joined
11 Oct 2005
Messages
7,561
Location
London
It's un-usual for a mistake to be made at Newton Abbot-from past experience. The i said taht it is the recorded man that announces. I don't know his name. Then Virgin Trains don't stop at Ivybridge.
 

paul1609

Established Member
Joined
28 Jan 2006
Messages
4,026
Location
Wittersham Kent
Its not only auto announcers that are caught out. When i used to work in Plymouth i used to get the Sunday Night Brighton to Exeter St Davids service.
This was unusual on the West of England Line in that it it was limited stop between Salisbury and Exeter. At Templecombe the driver still has to shut off for the turnout at the end of the single line section.
The guards used to hear the driver shut off and announce that the train would shortly be arriving at Templecombe, the approach controlled signal would clear, the driver open up again and the guard would realise his mistake and continue "which we will be passing through at high speed and the next stop on this service will be sherbourne in five minutes time"!
On another occasion the driver forgot to stop at Sherbourne which was unfortunate as one of the main traffics for this train were pupils returning to the public school there. After a lot of milling around on the platfrom at Yeovil Junction it was decided that the train would return to sherbourne to drop off all these school kids before continuing to Exeter. There followed some very spirited running and arrival at Exeter St D was only 3 mins down!
 

metrocammel

Member
Joined
11 Aug 2005
Messages
954
Location
Ashton, Lancashire
Chaz said:
Cock Up with Miss Piccadilly.

"Platform 3 for the 1010 Marple Rose Hill service (Should be First North Western - Was a while ago) for Marple Rose Hill. Calling at Marple Rose Hill only. Front 3 Coaches for Marple Rose Hill and rear 3 coaches for Marple Rose Hill."

Isn't it Rose Hill Marple?

For a long time in FNW days (back when the 101's were working) she announced FNW services as "North Western Trains" services. Also, when I was at Blackpool North a few weeks ago, The auto-announcer there described the Blackpool to York service as the xx : xx (I cant remeber the time) "Express" service to York. The "Express" (Reggie Rail Express) branding went an awful long time ago - it was BR days, so over 10 years ago, and that service has had several operators since then, first Northern Spirit, then North Western Trains & ATN (and also briefly TPE, with Northern guards from Blackpool to Preston, and TPE guards onwards) and now it is solely Northern.
 

37372

Member
Joined
24 Jul 2006
Messages
587
Location
Mexborough
When I went to Warrington on tuesday the auto announcer was a woman with a calm voice who would calmly say'Good afternoon and welcome to Warrington Bank Quay, the next train to arrive at platform 2 is the 14:xx PENZANCE! (shouting it) service.

There was also a time when I was at Doncaster around 8:30pm when all of a sudden there was a loud DONT TURN boomed from the speakers by a man with a thick yorkshire accent and then the mic was turned off quickly!
It certainly startled everyone on the station! :lol:
 

Tom B

Established Member
Joined
27 Jul 2005
Messages
4,552
The announcers at Doncaster are *USELESS*!

This one was heard a couple of years ago:

"The next.... train.... to depart from platform........ thr-fou-*one*.... will be the...... fourteen...... twen-thirty... five.... GNER... service to London King's Cross. Calling...."

at which point someone else wrenched the microphone away and announced it *properly*.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Top