Auto Anouncments - Errors/funny sayings

[Jim]

Today at Liskeard that annoying 'Digital Doris', as found on all ex Wessex Trains stations (infact a woman called Ruth from Truro) was announcing that the next bus to depart will be the 13:15 service to Looe, customers are reminded when boarding to mind the gap between the train and the platform edge....


n

Can't say we had that on bustition before.


Anyone noticed that "dorris" has a big gap when she anounces the 11.........XX services?

 

[Sprog]

I have never heard that 1 either.

One of the SWT womens best excuses is "This train has been (getting in to a higher voice) delayed due to a tempory fault with the signalling equipment at X. Please listen for further anouncements. (low) We are sorry for the delay to your service"

Ive heard the 'vandals' reason used at BPW before ,on a day when almost all HSTs frm Padd where delayed by an hour.

 

[dan_atki]

The female one on the stations is rubbish (you only get her at bigger stations)... "Bladform Foor, for the 10 hundred hours South West Trains service to Poooooolee. Calling at, Clapham Junction, Basingstoke, Michellediva, Winchester, Eastlee, Southampton Airport Parkwy, Southampton Central, Tottttun, Ashurst New Forest, Brockenhurst, New... ... Milton, Christchurch, Powkesdun, Bwanmuth and, Pooooooleee" blah blah blah.

The woman you refer to is Celia Drummond. She is often used at the same stations as Phil Sayer (who features in the vandals announcement above). I think that she is one of the worst announcers around, if you listen to her interpretation of St. Leonards Warrior Square (which she fits in 1 second) it sounds like she says Venezuala (I will upload a recording when I get some time).

In fact in the latest edition of South West Trains E-Motion magazine, there is a letter from a resident of Micheldever (pronounced mitch-ell-DEV-ver) complaining about announcements saying mitch-ell-DEE-ver instead. SWT did an investigation into this and found that whilst Phil says it correctly, Celia pronounces it incorrectly and SWT has promised to rectify this. Has this been done yet?

On another note, I am about 99.9% certain that Phil Sayer does the announcements on the SWT Desiros - again I will put recordings up of these when I get some time along with his statiion announcements for comparison.

 

[Jordy]

On another note, I am about 99.9% certain that Phil Sayer does the announcements on the SWT Desiros - again I will put recordings up of these when I get some time along with his statiion announcements for comparison.

Celia is also used on the LUL Northern Line

Jordy

 

[Julian G]

Ye missed Christchurch!

Maybe that will happen in reality with the removal of your local SSSI site called Hengistbury Head!

 

[Julian G]

Celia is also used on the LUL Northern Line

Jordy

Not just Celia, Emma is also on ,
Emma Clarke's version on the Northern Line is way better than Celia Drummond's Version
Had about 5 Journeys with Emma on a 1995TS

 

[Jordy]

Not just Celia, Emma is also on ,
Emma Clarke's version on the Northern Line is way better than Celia Drummond's Version
Had about 5 Journeys with Emma on a 1995TS

Emma? Who be she then, what does she sound like and is the going to completely replace Celia?

Jordy

 

[Julian G]

Emma? Who be she then, what does she sound like and is the going to completely replace Celia?

Jordy

List of Tube Lines -DVA
Bakerloo- Emma
Circle - Emma
Central - Emma (loud version due to track noise)
District - Emma
Hammersmith & City - Emma
Jubilee - (old voice- Anita for this train terminates.) Celia for this station is. and the next station is xx
Northern - Celia , some trains have Emma on
Piccadilly - Some manual announcer, Phil?
Victoria - Emma
Waterloo & City - Emma

 

[Jordy]

List of Tube Lines -DVA
Bakerloo- Emma
Circle - Emma
Central - Emma (loud version due to track noise)
District - Emma
Hammersmith & City - Emma
Jubilee - (old voice- Anita for this train terminates.) Celia for this station is. and the next station is xx
Northern - Celia , some trains have Emma on
Piccadilly - Some manual announcer, Phil?
Victoria - Emma
Waterloo & City - Emma

I'm not convinced, Jubilee is deeper than 'Celia'

 

[Tom]

Jubilee is Emma.

Picc is a T/op based at Arnos Grove.

 

[Mojo]

The Jubilee has 3 announcers: -
* Male announcer with "No smoking," "take your luggage," etc.
* Original female announcer who says "this train terminates at xyz"
* Newer female announcer who says "this is abc, change here for def line"

 

[Galaxy]

Could that be via the East Coast, and they only mention Edinburgh because it's quicker to get to Glasgow via the West Coast? I wasn't aware they did that, but maybe..?

If I remember rightly it was directly after disruption at Retford and the system couldn't keep up with the fact that the Edinburgh was behind the Glasgow but it wouldn't show anything but Edinburgh.

 

[466.networkers]

On a 375 terminating at Sittingbourne from Sheerness (Sunday only when the 508s weren't operating):

"We will shortly be arriving at Sittingbourne. Please change here for trains to Sheerness-On-Sea".

 

[tubenutter]

My mum was on a CT 350 from Birmingham to Northampton (though she got off at Rugby) and at every station they were announcing the things for the other direction (ie. "This is Stechford, this train is for Birmingham New Street Only", then at the next station "This is Lea Hall, this train is for Birmingham New Street, calling at Stechford and Birmingham New Street", etc.)

Not at all funny, but it was obviously an error -- why would this have happened, when the driver would normally have just turned off the announcer and perhaps spoken himself on the PA?

 

[westcoaster]

The Central/Silverlink 350's have got a software fault on the pis system but it only affect's certain unit's, Siemen's have also made a mistake since the timetable change last sunday, the unit i was on this morning was announcing apsley as we pulled into mk, and announced Berko as we pulled into Northampton, ( there are two different voices on there at the mo one lady doing stations and one doing Please mind the step and this happens at every stop)

 

[1D53]

A Phil Sayer gem at Huddersfield.

"A special rail replacement bus service will be in operation between this station and Huddersfield for the 09.32 Northern service to Manchester Victoria."

 

[adambro]

It sounds like they've been playing with the 185 auto announcements, well on one of the units at least. Think I've heard it a few times but might have been the same unit I suppose.

Theres one that used to say something along the lines of "Safety notices are displayed throughout the train, if you have any questions regarding these, please contact the conductor".

This now has been changed to say we should contact a member of the train staff but after a short pause still says "conductor". They must have recorded over the old message but the new one must be shorter.

 

[317729]

must say the funny 1 i heard wen i was at 7sisters b4 i moved to tothale.

dorris saying

the next train to arrive on plat 2 is the .... service to cheshunt

calling edmonton green , southbury , turkey street , theo grove cheshunt and cheshunt. lol

i was like wat does it go to cheshunt then shunt and go into the bay lol

matty

 

[317729]

haha good one here.

was raining very hard at tothale once . and theres shelter till 4car baord and everyone was standing out of the rain and not gonna say his name but supervisor at tothale said

next train to arrive at plat 2 is formed of 8cars plz move further along the platform . lol everyone laughed.

matty

 

[tubenutter]

rly r u tht incmptnt tht u cnt ryt hol wrds?

 

[class 313]

LMAO! Hasnt he been warned for this though?

 

[devon_metro]

wt dd u sy?

o ye

 

[theblackwatch]

haha good one here.

was raining very hard at tothale once . and theres shelter till 4car baord and everyone was standing out of the rain and not gonna say his name but supervisor at tothale said

next train to arrive at plat 2 is formed of 8cars plz move further along the platform . lol everyone laughed.

matty

I'm not surprised everyone found it funny if he spoke it like it was a text message!

 

[Jordy]

It sounds like they've been playing with the 185 auto announcements, well on one of the units at least. Think I've heard it a few times but might have been the same unit I suppose.

Theres one that used to say something along the lines of "Safety notices are displayed throughout the train, if you have any questions regarding these, please contact the conductor".

This now has been changed to say we should contact a member of the train staff but after a short pause still says "conductor". They must have recorded over the old message but the new one must be shorter.

Yeh, i've heard this too, got a recording on my site, hehe

'a member of onboard staff CONDUCTOR'

http://www.southtpe.co.uk/sounds/onboardstaff_CONDUCTOR.wav

This really IS NOT edited, the main part of the announcement is really quiet, then it shouts CONDUCTOR!

Jordy

 

[1D53]

Oops!! Sounds hilarious!

 

[devon_metro]

Yeh, i've heard this too, got a recording on my site, hehe

'a member of onboard staff CONDUCTOR'

http://www.southtpe.co.uk/sounds/onboardstaff_CONDUCTOR.wav

This really IS NOT edited, the main part of the announcement is really quiet, then it shouts CONDUCTOR!

Jordy

That is so random

 

[Tom]

haha good one here.

was raining very hard at tothale once . and theres shelter till 4car baord and everyone was standing out of the rain and not gonna say his name but supervisor at tothale said

next train to arrive at plat 2 is formed of 8cars plz move further along the platform . lol everyone laughed.

matty

i rly thnk dat is sooooooo nat funnie so can u plz stp wit da txt spk cos dis tok me 5 min to rite on a kybrd cs i nly spk in a lnguge cld english

EDIT: I think my sig is rather apt here....

 

[Coxster]

EDIT: I think my sig is rather apt here....

Not really. It talks about grammar, yet it does not have an apostrophe in the word "don't"

 

[Tom]

I blame it on the maker... besides, it's picking apart internet speech...

 

[Guinness]

i rly thnk dat is sooooooo nat funnie so can u plz stp wit da txt spk cos dis tok me 5 min to rite on a kybrd cs i nly spk in a lnguge cld english

Was that a warning or are you just taking the mick?

EDIT: I think my sig is rather apt here....

T52 has had that Sig for quite a while now.

Anyway, a while a go on the Central Line I heard "THIS TRAIN TERMINATES AT ONGAR".