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Auto Anouncments - Errors/funny sayings

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Jim

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What funny errors have you hears - heard then?


A few great ones have to be performed by Dorris, the Wessex Anouncer.

The next train to arrive at Platform 3 is the 1306 First Great WEstern High Speed service to London Paddington, calling at Pewsey, Hungerford, Newbury, Thatham, (deep voice) Hatch End (Supposed to be Theale), Reading, Slough & London Paddington

Another great 1 has to be by Phil

Platform 9 for the 2250 First Great Western High Speed service to Westbury, calling at Keynsham, Oldfield Park, Bath Spa, Freshford, Bradford on Avon, Trowbridge & Westbury. Customers may request to stop at Avoncliff by contacting the conductor onboard the train. Platform 9 for the 2250 First Great Western High Speed
 
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devon_metro

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Torquay:
Platform 1 for the 0951 First Great western High speed ( was actually VT) to Paignton calling at Paignton Only.
 

Nick W

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I remember at Ipswich where one train was announced by Dorris and canceled immediate after. No pause. Many commuters laughed.
 

Max

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An amusing one at East Garforth from Phil - you were with us at the time too Jim :p

*Platform 1 for the 1502 Northern service to Wakefield Westgate. Calling at Garforth, Crossgates, Leeds, Bramley, New Pudsey, Bradford Interchange, Halifax, Brighouse, Huddersfield, Deighton, Mirfield, Wakefield Kirkgate and Wakefield Westgate. A trolley service of drinks and light refreshments is available on this train*

Firstly, Northern don't have trolleys, and secondly this is a local pacer/150 operated service :lol:

And another, also on the same day at Leeds:

*The next train to depart from platform xx will be the 0931 service to *silence*. Calling at York and *silence*...*

This was the charter bound for Whitby, but obviously Whitby isn't in the system.
 

AJP

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How about this at Sheffield, 'Next train to arrive at platform 2B is the 14:11 transpennine express service to Doncaster via Doncaster calling at Meadowhall and Doncaster' :lol:
 

devon_metro

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AJP said:
How about this at Sheffield, 'Next train to arrive at platform 2B is the 14:11 transpennine express service to Doncaster via Doncaster calling at Meadowhall and Doncaster' :lol:

Where is it going? :?

:lol:
 
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Tom

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I once heard this on a SWT Desiro going to London Waterloo, from Winchester.

"This is a South West Trains service to London Waterlooand* the next station is *silence*." The next station was Basingstoke, now you'd assume it couldn't say Basingstoke but no, it was just an off thing as when we approached it ... "The next station is Basingstoke" :)

But you can't beat the stuff they do with the announcers on railtours ... once heard at Weymouth...

"The train now standing at platform 2 is the 1708 South West Trains service to Paris Nord, calling at Dorchester South, Wareham, Poole, Bournemouth, London Waterloo International and Paris Nord."

"The train approaching platform 1 is the 1224 First Great Western service to Kyle of Lochalsh (sp?), calling at Weymouth and Kyle of Lochalsh."

"The train now approaching platform 2 is the 1808 First Great Western Hibernian (wtf?!) service to Ramsgate ... calling at all stations to Ramsgate"

* disclaimer in first quote: Waterlooand*, mainly because there is no gap between the destination and and on SWT announcements!
 

Gareth Hale

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Its not Exactly railway based but when I last flew to the UK, I was going to heathrow, and we all got a Gatwick map on our TV's and the flight attendant said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Chicago O'hare, excuse me, I mean London Heathrow, the current local time is 06:59AM'

I have been on VT where they apologies for been 1 minute early.

Or how about

Platform 1 for the xx: xx GNER service to London Kings Cross calling at London Kings Cross only, if you are not willing to travel, please do not board this train.

Who will board a train if your not willing to travel?!?!
 

Lewisham2221

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Gareth Hale said:
Who will board a train if your not willing to travel?!?!
I've seen people who aren't travelling get onto the train with their friend who is travelling to help them with luggage and to say Goodbye, tends to happen at stations like Manchester, where there aren't ticket barriers and trains are sitting for a while before departure.
 

matt

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On the West Coast Desiros on the approach to New Street it used to say in a female voice "Birmingham New Street is a no smoking Zone" but the is a was in a very deep computerised voice. It sounded very funny but it has been fixed now
 

Gareth Hale

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Ah yes, there is that reason. Hahaha, I could imagen sombody actually doing that and ending up in London.
 

313103

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You get these at Richmond:

'The next train from and will terminate at this station'

'Stand well away from the edge of platform 4 the next train is not scheduled to stop at this station'. Change 4 for 3,5,6 or 7. The significance of this, each of the platforms is a terminal point.
 

Sprinter

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A common occurence, of which I noted about three times in one day on the Salisbury- Exeter line is that of "This train is formed of 3 coaches".....only once was Phil right! The other times either a 6 car 159 pulled in or two coach 158786!!!
 

HSTfan!!!

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Gareth Hale said:
Platform 1 for the xx: xx GNER service to London Kings Cross calling at London Kings Cross only, if you are not willing to travel, please do not board this train.

Who will board a train if your not willing to travel?!?!

I managed to once..... (albeit on porter duties at Newport Station but I did manage it!)
 

87015

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350xxx....
1833 Brum-Walsall and return, obviously no stations in system. All announcements from awaiting departure at New St were "this train has completed its journey and is not in service". Thats approaching every station...
No manual PA announcements (very poor), result around 90% of the normals pile off at Duddeston...!
Said train didn't last as a 350 for long after some serious complaints with this daily farce
 

1D53

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laverack222 said:
An amusing one at East Garforth from Phil - you were with us at the time too Jim :p

*Platform 1 for the 1502 Northern service to Wakefield Westgate. Calling at Garforth, Crossgates, Leeds, Bramley, New Pudsey, Bradford Interchange, Halifax, Brighouse, Huddersfield, Deighton, Mirfield, Wakefield Kirkgate and Wakefield Westgate. A trolley service of drinks and light refreshments is available on this train*

Firstly, Northern don't have trolleys, and secondly this is a local pacer/150 operated service :lol:

And another, also on the same day at Leeds:

*The next train to depart from platform xx will be the 0931 service to *silence*. Calling at York and *silence*...*

This was the charter bound for Whitby, but obviously Whitby isn't in the system.

Leeds's system is useless, didn't have Finsbury Park for GNER weekend diversions either. It also announces "this service is delayed by *silence* minutes".

I've heard that Trolley announcement at EGF before, it does randomly play it every so often, plus announcing it as 2 minutes late!
 

Guinness

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Cock Up with Miss Piccadilly.

"Platform 3 for the 1010 Marple Rose Hill service (Should be First North Western - Was a while ago) for Marple Rose Hill. Calling at Marple Rose Hill only. Front 3 Coaches for Marple Rose Hill and rear 3 coaches for Marple Rose Hill."
 

matt

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On a desiro service today to Northampton it was due to stop at Brum Intl, Coventry, Rugby, Long Buckby and Northampton but the auto announcer thoguht it was stopping at the local stations between Intl and Coventry. So it said "the next station is Hampton In Arden" as we fly through the station
 

heart-of-wessex

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once at doncaster i think the manual announcment was on

'..platform xx for the xx.xx serivce to xxx......(can hear slight talking going on)...hmmmm oh is that a Pizza? mmm smell lovely...can I have some....whats that?....yeah....oh b *end* by that time she realised she left the mic on!

at Newton Abbot 'The train now approaching platform (2?) is the xx.xx Virgin Trains serivce to Plymouth. Calling at Ivybridge and Plymouth (SWT 159 turns up bound for Plymouth)
 

devon_metro

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heart-of-wessex said:
at Newton Abbot 'The train now approaching platform (2?) is the xx.xx Virgin Trains serivce to Plymouth. Calling at Ivybridge and Plymouth (SWT 159 turns up bound for Plymouth)

Un-usaul, it's the man at Newton Abbot, certainly wasnt VT as tehy stop at Ivybridge!
 

Andrew

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dvn1357 said:
Un-usaul, it's the man at Newton Abbot, certainly wasnt VT as tehy stop at Ivybridge!

What?! Sorry, I can't figure out any meaning from that piece of writing.
 

devon_metro

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It's un-usual for a mistake to be made at Newton Abbot-from past experience. The i said taht it is the recorded man that announces. I don't know his name. Then Virgin Trains don't stop at Ivybridge.
 

paul1609

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Its not only auto announcers that are caught out. When i used to work in Plymouth i used to get the Sunday Night Brighton to Exeter St Davids service.
This was unusual on the West of England Line in that it it was limited stop between Salisbury and Exeter. At Templecombe the driver still has to shut off for the turnout at the end of the single line section.
The guards used to hear the driver shut off and announce that the train would shortly be arriving at Templecombe, the approach controlled signal would clear, the driver open up again and the guard would realise his mistake and continue "which we will be passing through at high speed and the next stop on this service will be sherbourne in five minutes time"!
On another occasion the driver forgot to stop at Sherbourne which was unfortunate as one of the main traffics for this train were pupils returning to the public school there. After a lot of milling around on the platfrom at Yeovil Junction it was decided that the train would return to sherbourne to drop off all these school kids before continuing to Exeter. There followed some very spirited running and arrival at Exeter St D was only 3 mins down!
 

metrocammel

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Chaz said:
Cock Up with Miss Piccadilly.

"Platform 3 for the 1010 Marple Rose Hill service (Should be First North Western - Was a while ago) for Marple Rose Hill. Calling at Marple Rose Hill only. Front 3 Coaches for Marple Rose Hill and rear 3 coaches for Marple Rose Hill."


Isn't it Rose Hill Marple?

For a long time in FNW days (back when the 101's were working) she announced FNW services as "North Western Trains" services. Also, when I was at Blackpool North a few weeks ago, The auto-announcer there described the Blackpool to York service as the xx : xx (I cant remeber the time) "Express" service to York. The "Express" (Reggie Rail Express) branding went an awful long time ago - it was BR days, so over 10 years ago, and that service has had several operators since then, first Northern Spirit, then North Western Trains & ATN (and also briefly TPE, with Northern guards from Blackpool to Preston, and TPE guards onwards) and now it is solely Northern.
 

37372

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When I went to Warrington on tuesday the auto announcer was a woman with a calm voice who would calmly say'Good afternoon and welcome to Warrington Bank Quay, the next train to arrive at platform 2 is the 14:xx PENZANCE! (shouting it) service.

There was also a time when I was at Doncaster around 8:30pm when all of a sudden there was a loud DONT TURN boomed from the speakers by a man with a thick yorkshire accent and then the mic was turned off quickly!
It certainly startled everyone on the station! :lol:
 

AJP

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185107 auto announer says' Calling at Grimsby Docks' Instead of Grimsby Town :lol:
 

Tom B

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The announcers at Doncaster are *USELESS*!

This one was heard a couple of years ago:

"The next.... train.... to depart from platform........ thr-fou-*one*.... will be the...... fourteen...... twen-thirty... five.... GNER... service to London King's Cross. Calling...."

at which point someone else wrenched the microphone away and announced it *properly*.
 
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