Children on trains

[NorthernSpirit]

Doubt you'd feel the same when your shins had been kicked for the thirtieth time!

I once had some oik pulling my fingers off a grab pole on a 144 once, I turned round and firmly said do it again and I'll do you for assault. Fat lard arse mother with gold chain draped around the neck (so proably married to a wifebeater of some sort or from a rough housing estate or both) starts playing hell at me for firmly telling their child off for misbehaving.

Had there been an emergency stop and I was injured, I would have done that family for assault along with getting them banned on public transport as they didin't know how to behave.

 

[holl1984]

Now you see, my eldest does struggle to sit still. He has a development delay and is currently at a 2.5yr old level in some aspects of his development. However, this is not and will not be used as an excuse for unwanted behaviour.

If for instance, he was kicking someone's shins (not the kind of thing he has ever done without saying sorry straight after as it was unintentional) I would be fineish with you asking him POLITELY in the first instance to stop....but then I would carry on with the discipline at a level suitable to him (part of his delay is to do with processing and following instruction and understanding reason) I certainly wouldn't just let it lie.

As for Chucky (my youngest is the double of the Chucky doll) I can't say if he would deffinately behave, he's not even 2 yet but he would also be disciplined in an appropriate manner. Does my head in all these "how dare you speak to my child like that" parents. If your child is being a little **** and potentially causing harm or discomfort to another person then expect them to be told off! But there is a way of doing things and people do need to remember that.

 

[grumblingalong]

The best thread on the forum is arguably the "dunking" one. It's... definitely not safe for work.

Well that was a Google search I won't soon forget....

 

[Jamesb1974]

Deleted

 

[grumblingalong]

I honestly don't believe I just read this crap.

What is wrong with you? You want children drugged? Seriously? And the King Herod reference? Infanticide? "Slay the children from two years old and under".

I can't work out whether you were drunk when you wrote this or are genuinely, mentally ill. Either way up, you need help. And don't back track and claim it was a joke. You wrote it, you live with the fall out.

I don't think the post was in any way serious, I for one read it as tongue in cheek.

 

[Jamesb1974]

Deleted

 

[yorkie]

I strongly disagree with Requeststop, and am concerned with the threats of violence. I am unsure whether it's a serious post or not.

When I was a youngster I was spoken to harshly, or even had the backs of my legs smacked. Parents now are not allowed to do that, so the rest of us have to suffer because of lazy attitude to parents controlling their pesky kids.

Good parents don't resort to physical violence.

...to the teenagers, shouting down their phones, shouting and swearing all over the place....

admittedly this can be a problem with some teenagers, but if they are just being a bit noisy, perhaps some noise cancelling headphones will do the trick?

I try to confront parents. One child constantly swinging her legs under the table and kicking my shins. I ask the parent to get the child to stop. I get the dirty look. She'll stop when she wants. So I loose my cool. If I'm kicked again by your horrid child, then I'll kick you so hard that it'll take three weeks or more for the bruises to go away. I make sure the whole carriage hears me. Thankfully parent and child move away.

Clearly that's not a good tactic, and while it may have got them to move away, people may understandably be alarmed at your threats and you may not always get away with that.

I'm afraid the PC Brigade has won. I get up and move now, but again why should I have to?

Well, you don't have to...

What trains have you had these experiences on?

Without witnessing how loud these encounters are, it is difficult to comment, but your post here is causing several people to be concerned. You may need to be careful how you interact with people in future, because one day you could get yourself into a potentially serious conflict, based on what you've said here.

 

[grumblingalong]

You find this kind of stuff amusing?

Jesus..

Did I say that? No. I said how I read it not how I found it.

Herod.

 

[Clansman]

If you find you are constantly agitated and feel the need to confront a parent over their exuberant child, whether they were behaving good or bad, then you should really take yourself to the quiet coach. Some folk could do with a reality check when differentiating between what constitutes as good and bad because some of the comments on here are a little exaggerative, as highlighted already by other users. Just because you may be easily irritated at a child, does not mean in any way, shape or form that the child and their parents are out of line. Obviously, you wouldn't condone a child running amok in the carriage, ripping out reservations etc, but you would condone a child minding their own business, socially engaging with their parents in a kind manner, even if a tad loud or repetitive in what they say. It's always nice to see a curious child now and again to brighten up the journey home from work as it shows that parents are keen for them to behave in a positive manner and engage with their surroundings rather than keeping them in their own bubble most of the time.

 

[holl1984]

If you find you are constantly agitated and feel the need to confront a parent over their exuberant child, whether they were behaving good or bad, then you should really take yourself to the quiet coach. Some folk could do with a reality check when differentiating between what constitutes as good and bad because some of the comments on here are a little exaggerative, as highlighted already by other users. Just because you may be easily irritated at a child, does not mean in any way, shape or form that the child and their parents are out of line. Obviously, you wouldn't condone a child running amok in the carriage, ripping out reservations etc, but you would condone a child minding their own business, socially engaging with their parents in a kind manner, even if a tad loud or repetitive in what they say. It's always nice to see a curious child now and again to brighten up the journey home from work as it shows that parents are keen for them to behave in a positive manner and engage with their surroundings rather than keeping them in their own bubble most of the time.

Well said. My kids are loud. Well behaved but loud. Excitable, happy curious boys who are like little sponges sucking up there surroundings, sights, sounds etc. If anyone ever told me to make them keep there Noise down, they would be told. It happened on a bus last week where the big one and the little one were playing peekaboo with each other (my almost 2 year old has a very loud giggle) and some weird and random game that my eldest was playing with my friends children to pass the time. Some man told me "can you not make them
Be quiet?" To which I replied "nope". They were a 9 year old, a 4 year old and a 2 year old enjoying life, sitting in there seats and occupying themselves.

(I think the words grumpy old man got used by a few other passengers more than once!)

 

[Mag_seven]

My grandparents were of the generation that believed that children (when in the company of adults) should be "seen and not heard". Whether that is right or not I'll let others decide but suffice to say when I was on a train with my parents I was told in no uncertain terms that I had to sit down and behave myself.

 

[najaB]

Interesting range of opinions, and I totally agree that 'seen but not heard' is taking things a bit too far. Just to clarify, the kids that i was taking about in the thread starter were well past being a little annoying - I don't mind (much) standing on 'your' table, out even an empty table, but standing on a table where someone else is already sitting is taking it to far!

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

 

[DarloRich]

Children will get worked up on a long journey and it is difficult to keep them amused, no matter how well behaved or trained they are. You need to keep them supplied with stimulating things to do and part of that might be letting them watch a film on a tablet (with their headphones in) but you need books, magazines/comics and games to keep them happy. Some treats also help immensely!

As I have said in other forums here, I get more and more reactionary as I get older. I'm afraid we are victims of the PC Brigade. When I was a youngster I was spoken to harshly, or even had the backs of my legs smacked. Parents now are not allowed to do that, so the rest of us have to suffer because of lazy attitude to parents controlling their pesky kids.

This continues throughout childhood and adolescence. From the baby constantly crying or screaming it's head off for at times, hours on end, and the parents just sit there, no idea that the is a problem with the child. The 3-10 year old, who cannot sit still, got to constantly move about, change position and again the parents do nothing, to the teenagers, shouting down their phones, shouting and swearing all over the place.

I try to confront parents. One child constantly swinging her legs under the table and kicking my shins. I ask the parent to get the child to stop. I get the dirty look. She'll stop when she wants. So I loose my cool. If I'm kicked again by your horrid child, then I'll kick you so hard that it'll take three weeks or more for the bruises to go away. I make sure the whole carriage hears me. Thankfully parent and child move away.

To be honest, I don't see why I should not complain. Constant two way conversations of a mobile phone that can be heard all over the carriage including the swearing is not one I and many others have to put up with. I get the reaction that I can always ask then to stop. Why should I have to ask them to stop! Why am I put in the position that I am disturbed and become annoyed?

I'm afraid the PC Brigade has won. I get up and move now, but again why should I have to?

It's worse in planes. You cannot move most the time. I just wish they put families and children in the rear of the plane next to the flight crew, and that children up to the age of 7 are drugged when they get on board.

King Herod had the right idea! Must be good as it's in the Bible.

As my usual response to this kind of silliness will get me banned so I will simply say:

What a delightful chap you are. I guess threatening women and children makes you feel like a big man. Well done. Try that with me and we will be having a little chat followed by you having another chat with the old bill.

I will then insert the following icon thingy: :roll:

Had there been an emergency stop and I was injured, I would have done that family for assault along with getting them banned on public transport as they didin't know how to behave.

no you wouldn't.

If you find you are constantly agitated and feel the need to confront a parent over their exuberant child, whether they were behaving good or bad, then you should really take yourself to the quiet coach. Some folk could do with a reality check when differentiating between what constitutes as good and bad because some of the comments on here are a little exaggerative, as highlighted already by other users. Just because you may be easily irritated at a child, does not mean in any way, shape or form that the child and their parents are out of line. Obviously, you wouldn't condone a child running amok in the carriage, ripping out reservations etc, but you would condone a child minding their own business, socially engaging with their parents in a kind manner, even if a tad loud or repetitive in what they say. It's always nice to see a curious child now and again to brighten up the journey home from work as it shows that parents are keen for them to behave in a positive manner and engage with their surroundings rather than keeping them in their own bubble most of the time.

That is a good post. I do wonder if the people complaining the most vociferously on this thread have ever had children, had to care for them or had the relationships required to bring children up. I guess they must have as they seem to know everything.

 

[DeeGee]

Well said. My kids are loud. Well behaved but loud. Excitable, happy curious boys who are like little sponges sucking up there surroundings, sights, sounds etc. If anyone ever told me to make them keep there Noise down, they would be told. It happened on a bus last week where the big one and the little one were playing peekaboo with each other (my almost 2 year old has a very loud giggle) and some weird and random game that my eldest was playing with my friends children to pass the time. Some man told me "can you not make them
Be quiet?" To which I replied "nope". They were a 9 year old, a 4 year old and a 2 year old enjoying life, sitting in there seats and occupying themselves.

(I think the words grumpy old man got used by a few other passengers more than once!)

My son (6) is the same. He loves travelling by train, it's a rare treat and if he can have a muffin at Costa while we're waiting for a connection, so much the better. He's an intelligent and inquisitive boy who asks questions to get things right in his head, so he might ask the same question a few times until it's sunk in. He likes to get up and look at the buffet, and will also check the toilet at least once on a journey.

What I won't do is ask him to be quiet, because you learn by asking questions. Apparently I was exactly the same at his age, so my mum tells me, and I used to travel by train a heck of a lot, and still enjoy a trip out on the railway now.

There are kids around here, teenagers, who've never so much as travelled on a bus, let alone a train. I was travelling from Maidstone to Brighton via London by train aged 13, and I'd like my son to have the same sort of gumption himself. If that means I've got to take him on train journeys and answer some seemingly inane questions about what he's seeing, then so be it.

I'd rather hear parents interacting with their kids than phone conversations or people chuntering about the noise any day.

 

[Wookiee]

Does my head in all these "how dare you speak to my child like that" parents. If your child is being a little **** and potentially causing harm or discomfort to another person then expect them to be told off! But there is a way of doing things and people do need to remember that.

This. I'd have no problem with someone telling my daughter off if she was being a little madam and I hadn't realised/noticed/was too busy on Facebook. Provided the telling off is proportionate, it's fine. If my child can't respect other people and her surroundings, she deserves to be told off. Sometimes it's more effective coming from someone else.

 

[Emmery]

The bottom line here is that any half decent parent would not let their children behave in such a way as to hit another passenger or scream and shout the train down. Children with learning difficulties and or developmental issues are a bit of a case apart but I think it’s fair to assume the original post did not include children with such conditions.
I read most of the original post at tongue and cheek. I don’t honesty believe that he seriously would drug a child or do anything to harm them or anybody else. Despite this we are all responsible for our own actions and making a threat, even one you had no intention of carrying it out is unacceptable and most likely a Section 4A Public order offence.
A lot of altercations between people are caused by down right intransigence. The phrase “why should I” often occurs. I’m not saying for a minute that you have to put up with anything that comes your way but a little give and take can go a long way.

If a child is kicking you and the parent refuses to stop it then get up and sit somewhere else. “why should I?” because it’s the grown up thing to do that’s why. What are you going to achieve by having an argument with the women? Possibly get them to stop but also possibly have a big row and do something you or they might regret. This is not a new issue of the modern world. Naughty children have always existed and so have bad parents. Your not going to change the parent or the child’s outlook on life by bullying them or having a slanging match in the middle of the train.

Life is to short to concern yourself with such non-sense.

 

[Amy Worrall]

What I won't do is ask him to be quiet, because you learn by asking questions. Apparently I was exactly the same at his age, so my mum tells me, and I used to travel by train a heck of a lot, and still enjoy a trip out on the railway now.

There's different meanings of "quiet" —*one is "Stop talking", one is "Ask your questions in a voice that doesn't carry all the way to the buffet car". I wouldn't want parents to inflict the former, but there have been times when I really wished the parents would attempt to apply the latter! I wouldn't say anything though.

I understand that sometimes it's unlikely to be successful. But there's a big difference between a parent who is trying to engage with their kid and the kid keeps being loud, compared with a parent who is ignoring a child and the child is getting more and more worked up.

My pet hate is kids being allowed to watch a video on an ipad with the audio playing out of speakers. If you're going to bring an ipad along, you can bring headphones.

I've never had a random child kicking me on a train. It's not something I've ever encountered. I don't really know what I would do… I wouldn't put up with it, but I can't see yelling at the kid ending well. I'd probably start by asking the kid not to, and if that didn't work, ask the parent. And I haven't even thought what to do if the parent refused to intervene there… it seems such an unlikely thing to ever happen!

 

[Wolfie]

Now you see, my eldest does struggle to sit still. He has a development delay and is currently at a 2.5yr old level in some aspects of his development. However, this is not and will not be used as an excuse for unwanted behaviour.

If for instance, he was kicking someone's shins (not the kind of thing he has ever done without saying sorry straight after as it was unintentional) I would be fineish with you asking him POLITELY in the first instance to stop....but then I would carry on with the discipline at a level suitable to him (part of his delay is to do with processing and following instruction and understanding reason) I certainly wouldn't just let it lie.

As for Chucky (my youngest is the double of the Chucky doll) I can't say if he would deffinately behave, he's not even 2 yet but he would also be disciplined in an appropriate manner. Does my head in all these "how dare you speak to my child like that" parents. If your child is being a little **** and potentially causing harm or discomfort to another person then expect them to be told off! But there is a way of doing things and people do need to remember that.

If you find you are constantly agitated and feel the need to confront a parent over their exuberant child, whether they were behaving good or bad, then you should really take yourself to the quiet coach. Some folk could do with a reality check when differentiating between what constitutes as good and bad because some of the comments on here are a little exaggerative, as highlighted already by other users. Just because you may be easily irritated at a child, does not mean in any way, shape or form that the child and their parents are out of line. Obviously, you wouldn't condone a child running amok in the carriage, ripping out reservations etc, but you would condone a child minding their own business, socially engaging with their parents in a kind manner, even if a tad loud or repetitive in what they say. It's always nice to see a curious child now and again to brighten up the journey home from work as it shows that parents are keen for them to behave in a positive manner and engage with their surroundings rather than keeping them in their own bubble most of the time.

A well balanced post which I agree with. It is a pleasure to see a well-mannered, bright, inquisitive child.

I honestly don't believe I just read this crap.

What is wrong with you? You want children drugged? Seriously? And the King Herod reference? Infanticide? "Slay the children from two years old and under".

I can't work out whether you were drunk when you wrote this or are genuinely, mentally ill. Either way up, you need help. And don't back track and claim it was a joke. You wrote it, you live with the fall out.

The part of the post that you are moaning about was, to me, written with tongue in cheek. Frankly I would say that your disproportionate and frankly offensive (to anyone who either has mental health issues or a relative/friend who does) response says much more about you than that part of the OP's post does about him.

 

[Deepgreen]

So depressing to read this thread - what we seem to have is the overwhelming attitude that "my kids will do what they like - they are noisy but they simply must be allowed to express themselves at all times". If they annoy you, that's tough; they are always right and you are wrong/grumpy/old-fashioned/out of touch. By the way, I also reserve the right to walk around in crowded places such as stations with my face glued to my phone because I am the only one who matters and everyone else must get out of my way. Owing to this behavioural style, I probably won't notice if my child is causing havoc, but if he/she is, then someone else is welcome to tell them off to allow me to keep playing with my phone.

 

[DarloRich]

So depressing to read this thread - what we seem to have is the overwhelming attitude that "my kids will do what they like - they are noisy but they simply must be allowed to express themselves at all times". If they annoy you, that's tough; they are always right and you are wrong/grumpy/old-fashioned/out of touch. By the way, I also reserve the right to walk around in crowded places such as stations with my face glued to my phone because I am the only one who matters and everyone else must get out of my way. Owing to this behavioural style, I probably won't notice if my child is causing havoc, but if he/she is, then someone else is welcome to tell them off to allow me to keep playing with my phone.

that is not what anyone is saying at all. :roll: The reaction of many posters ( you included) is hilariously over the top and shows how isolated many are from the real world.

 

[Deepgreen]

that is not what anyone is saying at all. :roll: The reaction of many posters ( you included) is hilariously over the top and shows how isolated many are from the real world.

Wrong - my post was based on my experiences in the real world with real-life brats and parents who haven't a clue about how their children should behave because they don't know how to behave themselves. Every generation sees a drop in social responsibility and self-control, and a lack of thought for others when in public.

 

[DarloRich]

Wrong - my post was based on my experiences in the real world with real-life brats and parents who haven't a clue about how their children should behave because they don't know how to behave themselves. Every generation sees a drop in social responsibility and self-control, and a lack of thought for others when in public.

of course! I should have known. Things were better when I were a lad. Have you many children to look after? Oddly i seem to know how to behave in public and so do my children. But lets make sure we tar all with the same brush. Of course i must have imagined the problem kids when i was at school or the local trouble makers.

 

[Deepgreen]

of course! I should have known. Things were better when I were a lad. Have you many children to look after? Oddly i seem to know how to behave in public and so do my children. But lets make sure we tar all with the same brush. Of course i must have imagined the problem kids when i was at school or the local trouble makers.

Irrelevant. I know how to behave in public and have consideration for others in doing so. A huge number of people - not all - do not. That was my point.

 

[DarloRich]

Irrelevant. I know how to behave in public and have consideration for others in doing so. A huge number of people - not all - do not. That was my point.

and you, of course, are the sole arbiter of what is acceptable I assume.

I take the kids on long train journeys to see the grandparents. Most of the time they are fine (we pack books, games, drinks, treats, IT devices etc) but being children their threshold for boredom and concentration is lower than the perfect adults who inhabit this board. Therefore they will get a bit twisty from time to time especially when tired or excited. They are children after all.

They also tend to ask LOTS of questions, many of which will be terribly banal for the adults in the vicinity, but which are natural considering things are very new when you are 5 or 6 and going on a long train journey is the most exciting thing EVER!!!!!!!!!

BTW - for irrelevant read zero children?

 

[bramling]

The bottom line here is that any half decent parent would not let their children behave in such a way as to hit another passenger or scream and shout the train down. Children with learning difficulties and or developmental issues are a bit of a case apart but I think it’s fair to assume the original post did not include children with such conditions.
I read most of the original post at tongue and cheek. I don’t honesty believe that he seriously would drug a child or do anything to harm them or anybody else. Despite this we are all responsible for our own actions and making a threat, even one you had no intention of carrying it out is unacceptable and most likely a Section 4A Public order offence.
A lot of altercations between people are caused by down right intransigence. The phrase “why should I” often occurs. I’m not saying for a minute that you have to put up with anything that comes your way but a little give and take can go a long way.

If a child is kicking you and the parent refuses to stop it then get up and sit somewhere else. “why should I?” because it’s the grown up thing to do that’s why. What are you going to achieve by having an argument with the women? Possibly get them to stop but also possibly have a big row and do something you or they might regret. This is not a new issue of the modern world. Naughty children have always existed and so have bad parents. Your not going to change the parent or the child’s outlook on life by bullying them or having a slanging match in the middle of the train.

Life is to short to concern yourself with such non-sense.

What if there aren't any other free seats?

I see your point that it might be simpler to move, but equally if everyone did that then a minority of people would take the proverbial **** and make sure they behaved irritatingly to make sure they always had empty seats around them.

At the end of the day it's not-at-all unreasonable to expect to sit in a seat on a train without being kicked.

 

[Jamesb1974]

Deleted

 

[Emmery]

“What if there aren't any other free seats?”
Stand. Sit down when another seat becomes available. Look for solutions not problems.

“I see your point that it might be simpler to move, but equally if everyone did that then a minority of people would take the proverbial **** and make sure they behaved irritatingly to make sure they always had empty seats around them.”
A small minority of people have always and will always take the p*ss. I believe this situation to be unlikely and occur so infrequently that simply moving away instead of making an enormous issue out if it is likely to improve your day rather than getting angry about it.

“At the end of the day it's not-at-all unreasonable to expect to sit in a seat on a train without being kicked.”
I agree 

Jamesb1974
“I did not read it as 'tongue in cheek'. I found it highly offensive and, to be perfectly honest, disgusting. You have your opinion, I have mine. I find remarks that make child abuse (whether historical, fictional or hypothetical) abhorrent.”
If you did not read it as tongue and cheek then you read it wrong. A joke is not child abuse and you need to calm down and realise that you have had a catastrophic sense of humour failure.

 

[DarloRich]

If you did not read it as tongue and cheek then you read it wrong. A joke is not child abuse and you need to calm down and realise that you have had a catastrophic sense of humour failure.

I think only the writer can tell us that. I don't think it was a joke.

 

[DeeGee]

Every generation sees a drop in social responsibility and self-control, and a lack of thought for others when in public.

As a little boy in 1970s Crawley, I have very few memories, but along with white dog-poo (which was everywhere, but at least you could see it), there were groups of punks "loitering", glue sniffing and graffiti. Swap punks for chavs, and glue for MCat, and we've not got a huge difference 40 years later.

 

[Emmery]

I'm sure we can all agree on one thing.

I need to learn how to quote correctly.