Coming Soon... Pathetic Railways?

[bussnapperwm]

Sources close to the #AllAboard YouTube and Facebook page have confirmed today (Monday 1st April 2019) that a project cataloguing parts of UK rail network in terms of uselessness is starting in the next few days.

The project, called Pathetic Railways, will look at different lines that could be classed as pathetic, either because they have been lost, took over by other lines in importance or even don't have a reason to exist without subsidy in the extreme. This will be run in a similar manner to the road based project, who's ownership is not connected to the railway project, called Pathetic Motorways.

Avril Sciocco, the person who is rumoured behind the project, declined to comment.

 

[DarloRich]

What is the point? ( insert headshake icon here) Is it another train project where people crowdfund a jolly for someone?

BTW who is this Avril Sciocco to decide what is or is not useful. He or she means nowt round my local.

 

[nlogax]

Avril Sciocco

Not sure you could have been any less subtle

 

[whhistle]

Is this supposed to be one of those April Fools jokes?
I thought we left that behind last decade...

 

[Howardh]

There's an excellent website called "Pathetic Motorways" which shows you the oddest motorways (and de-classified ones) in the UK; and there are a couple near me which I have driven on! Oh, it's not a joke either, here's the site, enjoy! http://www.pathetic.org.uk

 

[tsr]

To be fair, this is exactly the sort of project which does happen. Pathetic Motorways is a reasonably entertaining website for people with a fairly in-depth level of interest in roads, and I am sure Pathetic Railways could be similar.

Obviously it's not the case here, but I am generally observing that April Fools stories are often appearing to just be opportunities for companies to simply suggest fairly unusual product ideas which might actually be physically possible - and even something the customer might like. The April Fools story generates feedback and publicity, and then said innovation actually appears...

 

[Geezertronic]

This is where Google Translate is your friend - Avril Sciocco, well played

 

[LOL The Irony]

Sources close to the #AllAboard YouTube and Facebook page have confirmed today (Monday 1st April 2019) that a project cataloguing parts of UK rail network in terms of uselessness is starting in the next few days.

The project, called Pathetic Railways, will look at different lines that could be classed as pathetic, either because they have been lost, took over by other lines in importance or even don't have a reason to exist without subsidy in the extreme. This will be run in a similar manner to the road based project, who's ownership is not connected to the railway project, called Pathetic Motorways.

Avril Sciocco, the person who is rumoured behind the project, declined to comment.

I'm guessing mr grayling is ranked top of the lot?

 

[Howardh]

I'm guessing mr grayling is ranked top of the lot?

Pathetic Politicians?

Would need several websites.....

 

[Howardh]

Obviously it's not the case here, but I am generally observing that April Fools stories are often appearing to just be opportunities for companies to simply suggest fairly unusual product ideas which might actually be physically possible - and even something the customer might like. The April Fools story generates feedback and publicity, and then said innovation actually appears...

I suggested, as an joke, that footballers instead of numbers had those QI codes on their shirts so as they were playing the fans could point their phones, scan them and get all the player's stats. The club I suggested it to came back with "actually....you're not far off". Codes on shirts might never happen, but inside programmes or on the big screen/hoardings is easily possible, so if you want to know how many times the defender has been sent off it's there in front of you.

The other jokey thing was in curling, where I suggested players could put GPS positioning gadgets on the stones/brushes so they could track where the stone was heading and whether to sweep it or not. It had already been thought of and banned before it happened!

 

[Ianno87]

I know it's a joke, but it's not a bad idea!

There are countless lines unbuilt, part-built or leftovers from accidents of history. A site to bring it all together in the style of Pathetic Motorways might be quite interesting!

 

[Howardh]

I know it's a joke, but it's not a bad idea!

There are countless lines unbuilt, part-built or leftovers from accidents of history. A site to bring it all together in the style of Pathetic Motorways might be quite interesting!

Are there any current examples of - the tracks are there, the rails are there, but they are simply unused? I know rails still exist around Trafford Park (but a lot, lot less that when I worked around there) and couldn't now run trains on them, but there must be examples of rails where trains COULD run but simply don't and they are rusting away - pathetic railway indeed?

 

[DarloRich]

Is this supposed to be one of those April Fools jokes?
I thought we left that behind last decade...

aye. Looks like it. What jolly japes.

 

[bussnapperwm]

Well, I can confirm that although parts of it was intended as an April Fool, Pathetic Railways will be launched later this month!

 

[LOL The Irony]

Well, I can confirm that although parts of it was intended as an April Fool, Pathetic Railways will be launched later this month!

Is grayling getting a page? He is a useless part of the rail network after all.

 

[xc170]

What is the point? ( insert headshake icon here) Is it another train project where people crowdfund a jolly for someone?

BTW who is this Avril Sciocco to decide what is or is not useful. He or she means nowt round my local.

You really are the life and soul of the party...

 

[DarloRich]

You really are the life and soul of the party...

I am thanks. Mainly because, unlike many here, I actually get invited to parties...............

 

[70014IronDuke]

Well, I can confirm that although parts of it was intended as an April Fool, Pathetic Railways will be launched later this month!

WHo knows, it might actually have positive repercussions.

I'd like to nominate - no, wait - this is not a "Pathetic Railway" - far from it, more a case of "Pathetic use of a railway by the powers at be".

I'd like to nominate the Swansea District Line as the number one contender - it might accelerate the idea that it should be put to better use. (Yes, I know there is talk of using it in S Wales.)

EDIT: gosh, to my surprise, it actually has two Cl 1 trains scheduled over it daily.

05.48 Carmarthen - Man Picc
12.50 Fishguard Hbr - Cardiff

http://www.realtimetrains.co.uk/sea...01/0000-2359?stp=WVS&show=passenger&order=wtt

 

[yorksrob]

If we're talking about railways which could be put to a better use, there are lots:

The South Eastern mainline from Tonbridge to Ashford, with its two stoppers an hour whilst everyone crams onto Javelins.

The Uckfield line ending in the middle of Sussex, rather than getting to the coast.

Knottingley - Goole and the Brigg lines for obvious reasons.

The "don't have a reason to exist" bit sounds a bit worrying. We don't want it to become a rallying point for the likes of the road conversion league etc.

 

[LOL The Irony]

I actually get invited to parties...............

Are they political?

 

[Bevan Price]

I am thanks. Mainly because, unlike many here, I actually get invited to parties...............

Labour, Conservative, Lib Dem, or one of the minor parties ???????

(Edit: posted before I saw that by LOL The Irony)

 

[Andrew S]

It won't happen.

 

[tbtc]

I know it's a joke, but it's not a bad idea!

There are countless lines unbuilt, part-built or leftovers from accidents of history. A site to bring it all together in the style of Pathetic Motorways might be quite interesting!

I agree.

Pathetic Motorways is an interesting read, where you find out about the grand plans (on paper) that turned out to be insignificant stubs in reality.

Whilst I appreciate the April Fool situation, it'd be interesting to discuss some of the previous plans for today's lightly used railways. For example, the S&C, you've got a long two track 70mph railway that sustains a Sprinter every couple of hours, but was once intended as a major London - Scotland line. Seems unthinkable nowadays...

Would be interesting to compare the 'pathetic" routes that are...

• pathetic due to never being completed (e.g. Victorian entrepreneurs running out of money)
• pathetic due to subsequent closures (e.g. Burnley - Colne was once part of a trans-pennine route but is now a quiet stub following closure of the line beyond Colne)
• pathetic due to other lines being upgraded, so the traffic moved elsewhere (e.g. Selby on the ECML, or, rather, *not* on the ECML)
• pathetic due to the market no longer being there (e.g. low cost flights removing large numbers from Stranraer/ Holyhead, industrial changes removing the need for places like Tinsley)
• pathetic because, even though they were built in full, they were always playing second fiddle, running from A to B whilst avoiding the bigger intermediate places (e.g.the Brigg line mentioned above goes from Sheffield to Grimsby serving only Worksop/ Retford/ Gainsborough whilst the faster line used by TPE serves Meadowhall/ Rotherham/ Doncaster/ Scunthorpe - no contest - you can upgrade the Brigg line all you want but you can't escape the awkward truth that it's a slower route - Northern's Saturday services from Sheffield to Cleethorpes are overtaken by TPE trains - and doesn't serve anywhere major)

 

[whhistle]

I am thanks. Mainly because, unlike many here, I actually get invited to parties...............

Nice
Forum needs like function!

 

[70014IronDuke]

... Whilst I appreciate the April Fool situation, it'd be interesting to discuss some of the previous plans for today's lightly used railways. For example, the S&C, you've got a long two track 70mph railway that sustains a Sprinter every couple of hours, but was once intended as a major London - Scotland line. Seems unthinkable nowadays...

Er, it wasn't only "once intended ....", it DID become a section of a major London - Scotland line. Perhaps never as important as the WCML or ECML (certainly not for passenger traffic), but it was heavily used for around 100 years while the railway was primarily a freight carrier.

Also not sure what you mean by "a long two track 70mph railway". AFAIK, the current line speed is only 60 mph. When it was built, and into the 1960s, it was a 90mph railway. This was steadily reduced from about 1970 to 80 mph, and later lower still.

 

[pieguyrob]

According to the pathetic motorways, section on the A454 section of the website, in the secretive motorways section. Avril Sciocco works for Wolverhampton City Council.
Yes I have found the pathetic motorways website a really interesting read!
Mainly out of boredom in my taxi.
Just finished the rest of article which was a 2004 April fools joke.

 

[pieguyrob]

AVRIL is French for April.
SCIOCCO is Italian for fool.