As a former RPI there are many, but here are a couple to be going on with:
1. Huddersfield station, pre-electronic gates, barrier set up. Girl gets off a TPE and approaches me (I'm on Avantix duty that morning).
Girl: Single from Dewsbury please.
Me: £1.70 please (issues ticket, takes money). Why didn't you use the ticket office before you boarded the train?
Girl: There isn't a ticket office at Burley Park.......
2. Huddersfield again - I have changed the names mentioned below.
This time I happened to be passing through when Control rang me on the off-chance there was one of us about. Guard on a Scarborough service was having problems with a passenger on a child ticket who was plainly older than 15. As the train rolled in, I made my way over, taking a BTP officer with me who also happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I boarded the train and approached the passenger. He duly presented me with a child ticket from Bangor to Scarborough, so I made it quite clear that neither the guard nor I were having any of it, and frogmarched him onto the platform. The BTP officer set about getting some details from him, and was given the runaround with a couple of different false names and addresses.
Eventually the passenger said he sometimes lives with his grandmother in Caernarfon, and gave us her name and address, which checked out. He finally settled on what he swore was his own real name - Gareth John Davies - and maintained that he was fifteen.
He then asked to phone his grandmother before the police officer does, as she is old and would get a shock if the police rang her, which the officer agreed to.
Passenger makes call on his mobile, and speaks in Welsh. A couple of sentences in, I start laughing quite a lot. BTP officer looks puzzled.
BTP: What you laughing at?
Me: His name's Geraint and he's not 15.
BTP: Eh?
Me: I'll let you into a secret. I come from where he comes from and I can understand every word of this. He's called Geraint and he's just said he told the police his name was Gareth, and he can't tell them he's 25 or he'll be arrested.
BTP officer is now laughing even more than I was, but regains his composure and tells the passenger to give him the phone. As the conversation with the little old lady in Caernarfon progresses, it dawns on the passenger that the game is up, and he looks at me with the same puzzled expression as worn by the BTP officer a couple of minutes earlier. I just smiled at him and said "Right then Geraint. Let's start again, shall we?" Further puzzled expression followed by me saying "Dwi wedi deall bob gair" ("I understood every word").
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Only yesterday, scrote locked in the toilet before northallerton, had a ticket durham-darlington. Forgot to get off was his excuse, so he was advised to get off at Northallerton. Train stopped, didnt get off. Saw him again, asked him where he was going, said darlington. Couldnt answer why he didnt get off and wasnt being very co-operative.
So gets to York, still didnt get off. What a pity there was a BTP officer on the platform, "wanna check this fella out?" And handed him over.
Turned out he wanted to go to Wakefield. Perhaps if he had been honest I could have given him a zero fare. Instead he's been filed for prosecution.....
My favourite, a late night newcastle service leaving Man Picc, front coach, afroman sat playing with his mobile. Asked to see his ticket. Looked at me, laughed and continued to play with his phone.
Asked him again for his ticket, looks at me, says he lost it, carries on playing with his phone.
So quote him the fare. £3.60. Looks at me again, laughs again and continues playing with his phone.
BTP officer in plain clothes sitting a few seats away gets up, approaches the guy, pulls out his badge, tells the guy "you need to pay him" guy looks at him, looks at his badge, looks at me, laughs.... And continues playing with his phone!
Train announces "we will shortly arrive at Stalybridge" guy gets up still playing with his phone and heads for the door. BTP approaches guy who is about 2 foot taller than the officer is and says "seen enough mate, you are under arrest" I pop doors open and he frog marches the guy onto the platform and detains him inside the station managers office. I despatch the train for home.
Next night station super collars me at Stalybridge, Im working the same train. She tells me the guy was uncooperative for over an hour but there was no way BTP guy was gonna let it lie. Eventually he found his true identity, and......
He was wanted on warrant by Metropolitan Police for assault and credit card fraud charges amongst other things! If only he had paid his £3.60 fare....
Along similar lines, we used to do occasional exercises at places like Dewsbury with BTP and their sniffer dogs - they were looking for other things, but we were a good means of funneling people and slowing them down when they got off the train so the dogs could do their stuff. The number of people who we would deal with for avoiding a £2 fare who would then be found to have drugs or a knife in their pockets was unbelievable - you would think if they were up to no good, why would they then draw attention to themselves for the sake of buying a £2 train ticket?