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Farting to be banned?

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Dennis

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I'd have though they would have had more important things to worry about in Malawi, one of the poorer countries of the world.

Should a similar law be introduced over here? Being on a crowded tube train when someone drops their guts is most unpleasant but how could you prove whodunnit?
 
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yorksrob

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It'd come down to the first law of all flatulance related detective work - he who smelt it, dealt it.
 

yorksrob

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Ah yes, I can see the makings of a messy legal battle on the horizon <D
 

theblackwatch

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Reminds me of a phrase my Great Uncle used to come out with, "Church or chapel, let it rattle."
 

Hydro

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It's all a load of hot air if you ask me.
 

43021HST

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I'd have though they would have had more important things to worry about in Malawi, one of the poorer countries of the world.

Should a similar law be introduced over here? Being on a crowded tube train when someone drops their guts is most unpleasant but how could you prove whodunnit?

A law prohibiting us from farting?!!!! Thats one of the great joys of rush hour commuting is farting, then blaming it on someone else by looking at them sharply.

This thread will be a good one for some toilet based humour!:lol:

He who mouthed it fouled it
 

blackfive460

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Easy one to get out of if accused.
Just tell them you haven't farted, you've sh*t yourself...
 

StoneRoad

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They've taxed almost everything else, so I'm surprised they want to ban it, rather than tax it.

*trying not to lower the tone of this thread any further*<D
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
old boy to his neighbour at the club

"Gad sir, have you farted?"

reply from the other old boy

Of course I have, you don't think I smell like this all the time, do you?



not original, but still ...... needs must.
 

ChrisCooper

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Since Methane is a greenhouse gas, they could use the environment as an excuse for taxation. Perhaps a ban in enclosed public spaces on public health grounds would still be needed.
 

Dennis

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And how would you tax a persons flatulence? Fit an Inland Revenue approved fartometer to everyone, equipment which has to be regularly checked by the fart tax inspector?
 

ralphchadkirk

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And how would you tax a persons flatulence? Fit an Inland Revenue approved fartometer to everyone, equipment which has to be regularly checked by the fart tax inspector?

It's in Malawi - not here!
It's unenforceable now, the argument is over the wording of the ruling. I suspect it's a ploy to highlight the inaccuracy in the wording of the legislation rather than actually enforcing it.
 

kentuckytony

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All this reminded me of a ditty someone in a machine shop where I once worked used to say.
Always stuck with me for some reason.

First man: "Excuse me, sir, but do farts have lumps?"
Second man: "No."
First man, "Then I have undoubtably sh*t myself!"
 

Johnnie2Sheds

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OR......

"How DARE you fart in front of my wife!"

"I'm sorry, I dodnt know it was her turn."

boo(u)m tishhhhh!!!!
 

4SRKT

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And how would you tax a persons flatulence? Fit an Inland Revenue approved fartometer to everyone, equipment which has to be regularly checked by the fart tax inspector?

I think we need to look to The Bottom Inspectors out of Viz for inspiration here.
 

43021HST

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:D
This threads gone down the pan already...

It was never out of 'the pan' to start with :lol:
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
OR......

"How DARE you fart in front of my wife!"

"I'm sorry, I dodnt know it was her turn."

boo(u)m tishhhhh!!!!

I've heard this one before from somewhere. Some foriegn ambassador and the queen where in her horse drawn carriage, Suddenly the horse emits this loud rich fart out. The queen then apologises, the foriegn ambassador replies "Dont worry, I thought it was the horse".

I think this thread will just turn into a fart jokes thread now:D Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
 
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Peter Mugridge

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The below is a copy and paste of something which was posted elsewhere in 2007 and refers to an incident which took place in 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------



Right - the one below - this has been circulated all over the internet ad nauseum* in the past few months since it was posted in June last year and those peasants on the e-Bay boards do their best to keep the thread in question current because of it; I can vouch for the authenticity of it so here it is.

Anyone who works out to whom the unfortunate event happened is politely requested to pretend they haven't got a clue... :oops::oops::oops:

*Yes, I know, the spelling is suspect...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copied and pasted from a thread on a discussion board on e-Bay in which members were discussing embarrasing moments...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyone here who was in the toilet cubicles at Euston one Saturday evening
last year will remember this...!!

I had been out on the trains all day, meaning I had been eating mainly
crisps and chocolate plus a couple of burgers [ a bad enough combination ontheir own! ] all day. On this day, I had compunded the error by having a
packet of wine gums as well.......

Anyway, upon arrival back at Euston, an urgent and very uncomfortable
sensation gave me the idea that it might be prudent to dash to the toilets.

Moments later, in a cubicle in the middle of a row, I thought "good - got
here in time".

Then it happened....

A very, very long, loud fart which, believe it or not, took well over 40
seconds to finish. AND it chose to amplify itself by making a huge
reveberating echo from the toilet bowl as well...!!

By which time there was hysterical laughter coming from all the occupied
cubicles on either side, and then some.....
 

StoneRoad

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strangely, it is SBDs that are more of a problem that the noisy ones......<D


And dogs, cats and cows all break wind.......


we have a labrador with a 'good' line in SBDs, that are cabale of clearing a crowded bar! he also has the opposite, often so loud that he jumps up and runs away - or looks very surprised!
 

43021HST

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strangely, it is SBDs that are more of a problem that the noisy ones......<D


And dogs, cats and cows all break wind.......


we have a labrador with a 'good' line in SBDs, that are cabale of clearing a crowded bar! he also has the opposite, often so loud that he jumps up and runs away - or looks very surprised!

Thats because all the energy used to make smeel hasnt been wasted on the noise and the cheek rippling:lol:
 
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