Here's another old one that tends to get circulated widely at this time of year...
_________________________________________________________________________________
The below has been leaked from the American Military.
***** TOP SECRET: CONTACT / COMBAT REPORT *****
**PRIORITY FLASH TRAFFIC***PRIORITY FLASH TRAFFIC**
By USAF Maj. Gen Dymm Witt
To: George W. Bush, White House, Washington DC
CC: Chiefs of Defence Staff, The Pentagon, Washington DC
Iraq; December 25th 2006
On the night of 24th/25th December 2006, I was on duty in the AWACS radar aircraft covering the Iraq region. Shortly after 00.00 hrs, my attention was drawn to a strange return signal on one of the radar screens.
This indicated that a number of unknown aircraft were approaching at a very high speed from the north. The radar return indicated a close formation of eight or nine smaller craft leading one larger craft in a dual line astern formation led by a single smaller craft.
The radar targets were then illuminated with a high powered infra red detection array which revealed that the smaller craft were radiating considerably more heat than the single larger craft, although a prominent heat source was noted at the forward top position on the larger craft.
Further, the eight or nine smaller craft all appeared to be fitted with some kind of strange antenna to their nose cones. Visual examination of the area in which the targets were acquired revealed only a single red light moving south at high speed.
As I observed this formation of unknown craft on screen, it became apparent that the single large craft at the rear of the formation was dropping a large number of small objects. These appeared to be aimed directly at residential areas.
Immediate and urgent attempts were made to identify the craft by means of the IFF equipment; no response was received.
Based on this information, I decided that the craft represented a clear and present danger to the civilian and allied military population of the area and I gave the order to eliminate this danger by whatever means necessary.
A pair of F-16 aircraft were scrambled and, under my guidance, the lead aircraft fired a pair of heat seeking missiles at the unknown formation. The first of these was observed to strike just below the middle of the formation narrowly missing one of the craft, which appeared to deploy a large cloud of chaff. Unfortunately the missile was fooled by the chaff and exploded some feet below the target.
Two of the smaller craft were, however, apparently damaged by this explosion as they were observed to immediately drop several feet out of formation, hanging below the rest of the craft as if suspended by wires. In both cases the forward facing antenna were observed to be drooping downwards, so both craft were clearly out of action at this point.
This appeared to adversely affect the other craft in the formation as the entire formation reduced speed; presumably this was caused by some loss of power to all craft resulting from the explosion. It was noted also that at this point all the remaining craft appeared to deploy large volumes of chaff.
The second missile was more accurately targeted and struck the lead craft directly. This craft appeared to vanish from the screens at that point and can be assumed to have been destroyed. The two craft immediately behind, one leading each wing of the formation, also appear to have been taken out of action by this missile as they appeared to lose power and adopted a nose down attitude.
Although the entire remaining formation was now losing altitude rapidly, it remained airborne so I accordingly instructed the second F-16 to fire two missiles.
These struck simultaneously; one hit the second row of craft in the lead of the formation and the other struck the larger craft at the rear of the formation. Following these explosions I could observe several small craft in an erratic and vertical trajectory downwards while the larger craft appeared to disintegrate and all portions were also observed to be falling to the ground.
I concluded that the targets had all been destroyed and lifted the state of alert, allowing the F-16s to return to base.
A full report from ground troops examining the debris trail are awaited, but initial discoveries are interesting; large numbers of brightly wrapped small objects are scattered across several miles of desert; I have instructed that these be carefully guarded and have re-deployed every bomb disposal operative in Iraq to render these harmless. Further back, a large number of blobs of a mysterious smelly brown semi-liquid chemical compound have been located; this is currently being analysed by the entire regional force of CIA and FBI chemical experts. The body of what may be one crew member has been recovered; this appears to be that of an elderly male with copious white hair who appears to have been wearing some kind of red uniform. Efforts to identify the origin of this uniform are in place with the entire staff of the CIA Military Intelligence Unit. The results are awaited.
**********TRANSMISSION ENDS**********
