Has anybody here ever had one of these types of 'if only' moments?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 175mph, 3 Jul 2019.

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  1. 175mph

    175mph Member

    25 Jan 2016
    I mean such as thinking 'if only I had left earlier or later' or 'if only I had been there instead' when something has happened?

    I've been feeling like this for at least the past year or so, because of an issue I've been having which makes me feel like there's more chance of HS2 getting finished before 2030 than there is of it stopping or the police doing anything at all about it (although they are quite happy to lecture me about what will happen if I do anything about it myself).

    Gangs of teenagers on the same road as me and on roads around the town keep shouting at me that I'm a paedo even though I would never harm a fly or even think to speak to any of them in the first place. It's a recurring theme as soon as they see me, regardless of where in town it is, and coming to the question raised in the title often leaves me thinking if only I had gone down x street instead or if only I had waited around in x shop or other location a bit longer (it rarely happens in shops or on buses) or if only I had took x number bus route instead or stayed on it a few stops more I could of avoided them, (which of course I'm very keen to) and leaves me with a constant sense of paranoia, even on the streets I've definitely never seen them on before.

    Which leads me to tonight. I had got through the entirety of Monday and most of yesterday without such incident until I decide to relax in the shared garden area behind my flat which is out of view from the road, but unfortunately no gates to stop anyone accessing the shared garden area.

    I got home for 9:30 and thought to myself why not enjoy one of my snacks I purchased earlier on and watch the sunset at the same time as the weather is still decent despite the cool down.

    After about 20 minutes, I consider going indoors but I think, no, I will enjoy the evening summer weather a little bit more. Big mistake, as suddenly, I hear rapid footsteps and see two kids suddenly looking at me, but before I say anything or get off the grass, they run off like rats and the street is filled with pretend panic screaming of 'peado' and I end up kicking my bin in frustration as I think, if only I had either gone in doors straight after coming home or gone indoors earlier when I considered doing so, as I would have avoided it and slept better tonight.

    Maybe not as extreme as this example then, but as anyone here ever felt like kicking themselves in frustration with an 'if only I had been there or left somewhere'?
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  3. DerekC

    DerekC Member

    26 Oct 2015
    I think we all have "if only" moments - sometimes positive, sometimes negative. Sometimes life changing events are triggered by the smallest of decisions - which seat to sit in on a train, which route to take when driving somewhere.

    It sounds to me as though you are being subjected to a campaign of harassment. It must be very frustrating that the police won't take it seriously but I am sure they are right that you shouldn't retaliate. My suggestion is that you go to your Citizens Advice Bureau about it. They will at least listen to you and take the problem seriously and they might suggest help that you can get - not sure what is available, but a problem shared …!!
  4. Strat-tastic

    Strat-tastic Member

    27 Oct 2010
    Outrageous Grace
    Yes I agree, you can't go on like that. It's totally unreasonable.
  5. Giugiaro

    Giugiaro Member

    4 Nov 2011
    Valongo - Portugal
    I'm we DerekC as well. All of us have countless "if only" moments, some even forgotten to time, and we just tend to accumulate them as we grow old.
    After all, if you have "if only" moments, it means that you learned something, i.e. have grown experience. Either they're positive or negative.

    My current biggest regrets I have are:
    - Not have recalled my broken eHDD after just three months of "nothing happening" at the computer store (and thus, have lost it, and with it 8 years of memories);
    - Not applying for an Erasmus earlier, or choosing another school over anything in the UK, as I've seen my Erasmus contract being denied by Salford right after the Brexit referendum.

    I still have regrets and some sleepless nights over the first one. And I'm still pretty bitter over the second one.
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