(HUMOR) Train TV guide Monday 2nd Jan 2006

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heart-of-wessex

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hi all,

I was inspired by a couple of programs that sounded like a train program so i thought Id make a TV guide for 1 day especially for you lot for some humor, so with a mondays example heres whats on :P:

0600 - Breakfast Bap with FGW
0830 - Brum Timmy goes on an adventure with Phil Slayer at BNS
0900 - Basil Brush Adventures with 47145, an unexpected friend meets them at Old Oak
0930 - Boxmachine Zoo
1000 - To buy or Not to buy Fred is stuck on weather to buy a Saver return to York or a SuperSaver to York
1030 - Bargain Hunt The search for cheap returns is on!
1100 - Star Trek: Voyager Double headed special Part 1: Voyager 221115 is stuck in a warp, The Captin sends out a HST on a replacement
1130 - Star Trek: Voyager Double headed special Part 2: Still in search for 221115, another 221 gets a worm hole and the signaller sends 220017 to the place of death, Crewe Bombardier!
1200 - Keeping Up Appearances WAGN try to fix up the First Class on a 317
1230 - Network News Followed by Railtour news and Heads Out weather forecast
1305 - Agather Christie: the 1450 from Paddington 43002 mysteriously fails with no reason why, 57605 tried to rescue but fails to couple on
1415 - FILM: 102 Box Machines Southern orders too many class 455s and end up with a stampeed of them heading down the tracks
1525 - Thunderbirds are go Stories at Willsden Island, Tin Tin gets an unexpected call from 1A06
1555 - TOC Charts Will ONE make it to number ONE?
1625 - Life on the Depots PLEASE NOTE this program may be affected by Engineering work, please call the TV helpline for Channel information
1655 - London - Brighton in 5 minutes
1700 - Last of the Summer ADEX
1730 - Signalbox Neighbours Izzy accuses Westbury PSB of sending 7B10 out way too early
1800 - 1800 News with Phil Slayer
1830 - The Tube
1900 - Big Red Bus Documentry of class 144 drivers
1930 - Eastenders Phil has a deal with SWT, Martin has a problem with going to work, the tube has shut down completley....again
2000 - Shut down due to overnight Engineering works until 5th January, for information please call the TV Helpline


NOTE all programs may be diverted to other times or cancelled due to staff shortages or leaves on the TV. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause to your watching

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Hope you liked it!

James.
 
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Guinness

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Little Britain - Matt Lucas and David Walliams give a comical look at OO Gauge.
The Bill - Yobs vandalise the 1034 GNER service from York and Reggie finds a fiver on a Meridian
Mastermind - Contestants battle to see who has the most knowledge over ONE calling patterns
As time goes by - Patrick is shocked to find the 1242 GNER York - London Kings Cross has been delayed by passenger action. Stephan finds the Disabled Toilet Lock Button.

Poor but I'm bored lol.
 

AlexS

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Good Morning Railfans! - A call in show dedicated to disgruntled gricers calling up to moan about the state of the railways these days.

Trainline - the lives and times of Virgin Trains employees at Birmingham New St. This weeks episode includes a bloke saying he is going to jump onto the wires from the concrete block next to the Bullring (not the rotunda).

Sounds of the 70s - 30 mins of clips of 52s, 40s, 85s and so on roaring up inclines and purring into stations.

Cap'd - a clip show charting the reactions of passengers to the news that the last train of the day home/the only train to get them to work on time/the only cheap fare train of the day has been cancelled!

Only Sheds and Jockos - A 21st century view of the EWS depot at Hither Green. A wily fitter trys to get Driver Parkinson to take out the empties to Sheerness while the 66 has a dicky parking brake.
 

Mojo

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AlexS said:
Sounds of the 70s - 30 mins of clips of 52s, 40s, 85s and so on roaring up inclines and purring into stations.
Or as the morons who compile the EPG on Freeview would say: -
Sounds of the 70's - 30 mins of clips of 52's, 40's, 85's and so on roaring up inclines and purring into stations
 

Galvanize

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Tractor tom: 37906 meets up with 37425 and give double headed thrash hellfire on the Fort William branch!

Doctor who: A time warp back to the 1960s, when Steam was being swept aside by Diesels/Electrics

The Railway Children: Trainspotting kids save the Sheerness-on-sea branch from Flooding and eventually shutting down.
 

Nick

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Holiday 2006: The team sample a 153 to Cleethorpes.
The Worst week of my life: Howards stuck on a Pacer on the Heart of Wales line. Angela's sister makes a visit and is unimpressed with the lack of DDA on the pacer.
 

Nick

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2010: Casulty - Vandals break into Old Oak Common and vandalise HST's, the paramedics rush to repair the units for service the next day.
 

voyagerdude220

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"Short-ish" episode from me: (even though I like 220/221s)

Sorry it's probablly a load of rubbish, but I just felt like posting this. :?

*This is set in pre-Northern days*

01:30- A group of vandals (a.k.a Arriva Trains Wales workers) break in to Bristol Barton Hill depot one Sunday night. On site, amongst other things is 221 101. The modern unit immediately goes over the minds of the vandals. oops i mean arriva workers. When they walk up to the Super Voyager, the capacitor "accidently" blows, causing an explosion, burning out nearby 143s, and destroying a very conveniently set up line of fellow 143s, coupled in 5s, side by side, in order to blow out all the wessex 143s. The exterior door also blew off.

Next days service for wessex: A dia 143 shortage (or should i say "extinction" :D) causes the 31 set to come out and play. Also, many services at least get decent DMUs, majority get loco haulage, and some even get HSTs. O I forgot to say D1015 gets used with many coaches on a Bristol to Penzance morning service, vice DMU.

Up north however, things are looking amazingly good for Arriva, as "one" service arrives in Cardiff on time. The service was opperated by One, 47 hauled, and accidently <( :P "shot" and fatally hurt any other 143s on the Wales side of the Severn.


[A few days after:] The 142/3/4 shooting trains rolled out to 26/ 37/43s/47/50/52/55/57/150/153/156/158/170/175/180/220/221/222/390 's.

Wessex Trains realises the state the company is in. It now borrows a minimum of 10 37s, 5 mini 4-car fun size HSTs, and a host of other trains, including ex FNW 101s.

To be continued... (even though I probablly won't, following comments on this!)

*No Animals were harmed in the production of this episode*

If you have been affected by any of these issues on this mornings programme, please phone National rail enquires on 2126- 012-4874. Please note this number is subject to leaves on the line.
 

devon_metro

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11:00 Virgin's Outakes
In todays outakes the 09:37
TAKE 1
Edinburgh- penzance fails to be replaced by a 158, the the 158 fails,
TAKE 2
The 158 fails to start again so is replaced by a 156
TAKE 3
The 156 Breaks down to be replaced by a 150/2
TAKE4
The 150/2 runs out of fuel to be replaced by a 153 with reduced fuel.
TAKE 5
A class 57 is on thunderbird duty, only half way across the country in Gunnislake.
 

voyagerdude220

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You fail to say what happened to the 220/221/rare double set that was forming the Edinburgh to Penzance (que odd excuse)
 
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