New Prime Minister

[Tom]

It has been officially announced by the electoral commission that David Perks, a candidate for the Conservative Party will bypass all regulations and rules for being the head of the conservative party. They also stated that David Perks will become the new Prime Minister at the next election, as Tony Blair has backed out, and John Prescott is currently eating at an all you can eat buffet.

Unfortunately, Mr. Perks was unavailable for questioning, but Michael Howard gave this response, "David was always a great character to play with, he always gave the wrong sorry, correct response when in Prime Ministers questions."

Three cheers to David!

Please note this is a November Fools joke.

 

[Nick]

When does November Fools date back to and why is it on the 15th November after noon?

 

[David]

I, David Perks, do humbly accept the position of being the countries next Prime Minister.

During my time as the Prime Minister, I intend to introduce legislation to cut the cost of rail travel, as well as improving the quality of the trains and all the infrastructure. As this is going to cost a lot of money, I am also going to introduce legislation to increase all forms of taxation on road users, as well as increasing the ammount of red tape (only for road users).

On a side note, duty on Alcohol will be reduced, so everyone (who is aged 18 or above) can enjoy a drink without having to worry about filling the governments accounts.

More proposed legislation will appear here when I think about it more.

David Perks, Your next Prime Minister.

Please note, this a November Fools Joke which tubechallenger has started

 

[Tom]

Nick, its a tradition which has been going on for many years, its called general joking and it occurs generally every day in this world, I have decided, as a joke, to name it November Fools.

 

[Jordy]

Mr Perks, Sir, could you please burn all plastic trains?

Jordy

 

[Ben]

Sorry to bother you, Mr Perks but...

A. Could we Stop helping the USA when they Beg for Help

and

B. Would you like a Cup of Tea?

 

[Met Driver]

Mr Perks, Sir, could you please burn all plastic trains?

The environmental implications would be huge. There's too much of the stuff to burn!

 

[Mojo]

What's with Tories and the name 'David?'

 

[Dave A]

Hmm, that may mean I'm destined for great things! hock:

 

[Mojo]

Boxers or Briefs?

 

[Nick]

Mr Perks, Sir, could you please burn all plastic trains?

Jordy

No cause we don't want rotting falling apart embarrassments back on the rails TYVM.

 

[David]

Sorry to bother you, Mr Perks but...

A. Could we Stop helping the USA when they Beg for Help

and

B. Would you like a Cup of Tea?

A. That's next an my agenda, and
B. Milk, 1 sugar please. Very kind of you to offer

 

[David]

Mr Perks, Sir, could you please burn all plastic trains?

Jordy

No cause we don't want rotting falling apart embarrassments back on the rails TYVM.

Just keep it all on the GCR, eh?

 

[evil_hippo]

Boxers or Briefs?

So, the 2 davids of railuk, I think the public deserves an answer!

 

[Dave A]

OK...

Both or Neither :P

 

[David]

Same here.

 

[steve158]

I, David Perks, do humbly accept the position of being the countries next Prime Minister.

During my time as the Prime Minister, I intend to introduce legislation to cut the cost of rail travel, as well as improving the quality of the trains and all the infrastructure. As this is going to cost a lot of money, I am also going to introduce legislation to increase all forms of taxation on road users, as well as increasing the ammount of red tape (only for road users).

On a side note, duty on Alcohol will be reduced, so everyone (who is aged 18 or above) can enjoy a drink without having to worry about filling the governments accounts.

More proposed legislation will appear here when I think about it more.

David Perks, Your next Prime Minister.

Please note, this a November Fools Joke which tubechallenger has started

i suggest to cover the costs of the cut in alcohol duties you increase the tax on cigarettes.

and mobile phone ringtones(particularly the 'song' ones)
and lager
and ex forest full backs who 'manage' lower division teams

 

[David]

I suggest to cover the costs of the cut in alcohol duties you increase the tax on cigarettes.

The tax levels on tobacco are staying the same. The people who know me will understand.

And mobile phone ringtones(particularly the 'song' ones)

Yes, I can put a tax on them. £10 for each ringtone.

and lager

Why increase the duty on lager when duty on alcohol is coming down? :?

and ex forest full backs who 'manage' lower division teams

With just 1 exception.

 

[Julian G]

Mr Perks, Sir, could you please burn all plastic trains?

Jordy

and recycle them

oh and Mr.Perks please scrap the HMRI deadline to kill the Slammers

 

[Rob]

Nick, its a tradition which has been going on for many years, its called general joking and it occurs generally every day in this world, I have decided, as a joke, to name it November Fools.

Tradition dictates that such jokes should contain some element of humour in order to conform to said tradition.

 

[Ben]

I cant wait for December fools :P

 

[Mojo]

I cant wait for December fools :P

Santa doesn't exist? :P

 

[Ben]

I cant wait for December fools :P

Santa doesn't exist? :P

awww Damn theres goes my Plan to cancel Christmas on RailUK :P