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Oh, I LOVE northern folk

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HR2

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Complete script of a conversation heard today on the little 'ice cream van' type bus coming home. [remember these are Geordies]

Old woman on getting a seat : " Hallo Jack man, long time no see, how's Irma"?

Jack: Irma?...... Irma's been dead these 8 month.

OW: "Eeeh I'm sorry Jack I didn't knaa hinny" "What happened"?

Jack: "That's OK. She dropped dead of a heart attack in the netty" " Dead before she hit the floor"

OW: "Well she didn't suffer. Worra ye been doing today then"

Jack : "Just bit shopping and gettin' some feed for me bords"

OW: "Bords? Have ye got some bords then"?

Jack : "Aye. Chickens"

OW: " Chickens? how many hev ye"?

Jack : "Just a dozen little white hens lass"

OW: "Eee That's nice"

Jack: "and a big red c*ck too"

At which point the bus collapsed into hysterics. :D
 
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eezypeazy

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Another Geordie one.....

Mary is in the back yard pegging out the washing, when her neighbour Bessie pops her head over the wall.

"Canny day th' day, Mary", says Bessie, "And how's yor man keepin'?"

"He's deed."

"Deed? What happened, like?"

"Whey, 'e was jus' gannin' doon th' allotment forra few carrots, like, an' 'e dropp' doon deed. Just Like that, like!"

"Whey, man, Mary, hinny, worra ye' ganna' de?"

"Whey, aa'll jus' hev te oppen a tin o' peas...."


(I have the dubious distinction of being mentioned by my (real) name in one of the late Dick Irwin's collections of Geordie jokes. Dickie used to pepper his stories with his mates' names, knowing that they'd then go out and buy the books!).

eezypeazy
 

Ben

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ooooh aint it great to be a Northerner!

Will Dig some Southerner jokes out lol
 

Gareth Hale

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158 said:
ooooh aint it great to be a Northerner!

Will Dig some Southerner jokes out lol

LOL!! We have to think of some Southerner jokes. Northern is better in my opinion, mainly because its my home :)
 
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Tom

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Bournemouth will never have a lack of water due to the way the water system works down here!
 

Ascot

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Bah.. Brummie beats the lot:

Kid: Oi you wach ya lukin at?
Kid 2: Wat ya thin?
Kid: Gonna get me mans down now init
Kid 2: Ye wtf ya gunna do den, start sum or summin i'll get all da mans down n bang ya out
Kid's cronies: Ere wtfs goin on pleb?
Kid: Geeza ere lukin 2 get murked!!
Kid 2's cronies: cum den ya lil s**ts
Kid: Oi ang on gotta get sum tunes blastin 1st on me D5.
Kid 2: brick enit
[Meja - All about the money {speed garradge mix} playing] How they spell it because education goes beyond them
kid: Gonna get banged by B36 ENIT!!!
Kid 2: B36 ya jokin ya bunch of pu***es
Kid's cronies: Ere gotta be home now enit need go bed
Kid 2's Cronies: Ye walk on den!!
Kid 2: Oi i'm off man in a bizzle
Kid: Yeye Safe!

And knowone hit anyone. This is a true event that happened at the 94 bus stop on me way home.

EDIT: For the record i DON'T sound like that and that song is a tune.
 

Ascot

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We get the best of both so your 50% right on that. Either North or South we're 50/50. Unless ya want to get a ruler out but to look at a map we are central.
 

evil_hippo

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Ascot said:
We get the best of both so your 50% right on that. Either North or South we're 50/50. Unless ya want to get a ruler out but to look at a map we are central.

No, you get the unfriendliness and materialism of the south with the yob culture of the north.
 

Ascot

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Exactly the best. Take areas such as Sheldon and compare them to areas such as Sutton and compare them to areas to Alum Rock or Spark Brooke it's a variety. But as for Unfriendlyness we do get along with others just say for examble Kingstanding and Aston hate each other and thus rough areas create. But ya don't see protests about government outside our front door and as for stabbings every area has it's rough parts and good parts. I bet you London has rough areas and i even bet Manchester has it's cronies. Either way 2nd Largest City is 2nd inline to Represent this country.
 

eezypeazy

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So, Liverpool, that great Northern city, is to be Capital of Culture 2012..... I came out of a meeting in Toxteth the other day to find my car propped up on four encylopaedias....

A girl I met in Sheffield once invited me back to meet her father and brother..... it was only one person!

What's the definition of a Yorkshire accountant? A Scotsman without the generosity.....

Enough regionalist jokes for one night...


eezypeazy
 

ChrisA

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Poole, Dorset
Cockfosters said:
Better than them Southeners!!

Nah. I'll say it's south all the way! (Becuase I live here.....maybe!) But it has some advantages. I'm closer to France than London! (Wait, is that such a good thing?!) But there are a few unpleasent people down here. The normal people are nice. The rich folk tend to love in the nice areas of the south (like the beach area) which is what the tourists see. So don't knock southerners!
 
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Harelaw...
HAHA! mmm i love geordie's there so.......... i dunno infact i hate them... cannot understand a word they say and ive been living with them since i was like what? 7..... THAT 11 YEARS >< nearly 12 -_-

........ pfft i cant understand anyone really! ><

the best convos are between my nan and her mates......

nan: how is you knee hunny
harriot: aye tis fin naw,
nan: hmm sound sore
harroit: na tis fin naw
nan: yes you should rest it

XD they were best friends up untill my nan died, XD still has me on the floor.
 

Tom B

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It's actually quite cool when you go somewhere like London, and people don't understand words you quite happily use at home. Like snicket, ginnel, cluther, baht, chuffed, etc.
 

Tom B

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Precisely ;)

snicket = alleyway at the end of houses
ginnel = alleyway between houses
cluther = tangle / mess
baht = without
chuffed = pleased
 

Guinness

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I believe Northerners can use hosepipes 8-)

(Not that we need them during this kind of weather)
 
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