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Rail Themed April Fools Stories

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SpacePhoenix

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Just spotted this April Fools Day news story: http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/ne...mmuters_to_use_carriages_for_business_events/

BUSY commuters will soon be able to hold networking events and boardroom meetings on custom-made trains.

Bournemouth-based Seventa Events has collaborated with a new operator to the South West Rail Network – Speedyrail.

The collaboration, called Networking Rail, will see new trains purchased, with each carriage turned into a different event venue throughout the train.

Anyone else seen any good April Fools stories?
 
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SpacePhoenix

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Unable to link but check out the Facebook page of Haddington Based Prentice Coaches for a good one!

Link (facebook post) to April Fools Day story about a Hoverbus:

https://www.facebook.com/prenticeco...360753156339/1426164440775958/?type=3&theater

Our latest new vehicle
The worlds very first ADL Enviro 200 Hoverbus !!

The new bus, the very first of a new model, is registered AF17 PCH and takes to the road for the first time today, 1st April. It will be used on our 108 Haddington to Fort Kinnaird bus service.

The 108 is already the quickest and most direct bus service to Fort Kinnaird retail park from Haddington, Macmerry, Tranent, Wallyford and Musselburgh. We hope the Hoverbus will make the journey even smoother for our passengers.
 

341o2

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A few years back I posted on this forum that this Thursday (April 1st) the 1129 service from Brockenhurst would not now stop at Lymington Pier.

I don't have the link, but another was to take a photo of Tangmere on a main line charter and photoshopped the image so that the loco bore the nameplates and number of Manston
 

Simon11

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INK-REDIBLE: Virgin Trains launches world’s first ticket tattoo

https://www.virgintrains.co.uk/abou...s-launches-worlds-first-ticket-tattoo-1891052

Virgin Trains has today launched an innovative new contactless ticket system, offering customers the opportunity to have their train ticket permanently tattooed on their body, preventing season ticket passengers from ever losing their tickets again.

Following the success of the eTicket scheme launched in August 2016, Virgin Trains found that passengers welcome developments that make journeys more straightforward, with just under half of customers suggesting they would opt for eTicket over a paper ticket.
New consumer research revealed that 62% of customers lose their ticket at least once a year, so Virgin Trains set experts on a mission to develop a new contactless technology to combat the issue.
A crack team of scientists, engineers and some of the UK’s finest tattoo artists rolled up their sleeves to develop a solution, Tick-InkTM. Using magnetic tattaniumTM ink, a unique ticket code is inserted into the dermis layer of the skin, so customers who need to get somewhere in a hurry, can save themselves some time...
 
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321446

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A full Rail Replacement Bus Service Replacement Train Service is in operation today on Greater Anglia.

Apologies if this unexpected convenience affects your plans, but fear not, we will be running buses to Newbury Park from Wickford tomorrow.

Thank-you.
 

Cowley

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Steam Railway magazine did a good one years ago when they said that 3440. City of Truro was being painted into BR black, some people were up in arms about it and of course, this was in the 1980s so no internet or camera phones. They painted one side of it black at the Severn Valley, took photos and published them.
Another one I remember from back then was of a class 31 being named 'Railtour Enterprise', I think that was done by Rail (Enthusiast) magazine and it was taken as gospel and printed in the Ian Allan motive power books by mistake.
 

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Strathclyder

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Steam Railway magazine did a good one years ago when they said that 3440. City of Truro was being painted into BR black, some people were up in arms about it and of course, this was in the 1980s so no internet or camera phones. They painted one side of it black at the Severn Valley, took photos and published them.
Another one I remember from back then was of a class 31 being named 'Railtour Enterprise', I think that was done by Rail (Enthusiast) magazine and it was taken as gospel and printed in the Ian Allan motive power books by mistake.

Admittedly, I think that City of Truro would look quite good in full B.R Black, gleaming from that image. Would obviously never happen, but you can but fantasize! lol
 

Failed Unit

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The "I" newspaper was an article about taking all the seats out of upto 3 coaches per train and making them standing only. A 45mm circle for standing space. After 9 journeys as a reward your 10th is in first class.

Will edit if I can find a link.

Trouble is - DFT may read it and implement it.
 

Howardh

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The "I" newspaper was an article about taking all the seats out of upto 3 coaches per train and making them standing only. A 45mm circle for standing space. After 9 journeys as a reward your 10th is in first class.

Will edit if I can find a link.

Trouble is - DFT may read it and implement it.

Probably been thought of and already implemented - of sorts. Haven't seats been removed and/or realligned in some carriages to allow more standing room?
NB 2nd class v 1st class difference - in first you get a strap to hang on to.

Apart from that, wonder if trains were split into three, 1st class, 2nd class seating and 3rd class standing (for half the 2nd class ticket), how many of us would chose to stand for journeys under 1 hr??
 

MarkyT

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Not part of any whacky story, the print edition of the Express this morning (not mine I must add!) illustrates Flying Scotsman's run over Ribblehead viaduct yesterday with an unfeasibly long train (17 cars) in tow. Careful examination reveals backgound continuity errors and coaches and arches repeated. (Bad) photoshop for sure, but was it 'subtle' April foolery, an attempt to tweak the image to more successfully and impressively fill the page, or a test to see what they could get away with without anyone noticing?!!
 

adrock1976

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What's it called? It's called Cumbernauld
Press release by Joyce G Raffe

The company who operates the Southern, Thameslink, Gatwick Express, and Great Northern services Govia Thameslink Railway are proud to announce today that we have announced plans to bring back the two iconic named trains that once ran to and from Brighton - the Brighton Belle which was a limited stop express to London Victoria, and the Sussex Scot which was an Intercity train that ran between Brighton and Glasgow via Birmingham and Preston.

Brighton Belle

This will be in addition to the present services that run between Brighton and London Victoria, calling at Haywards Heath, Redhill, East Croydon, Clapham Junction, and London Victoria. As Govia Thameslink Railway are experts in running branded routes even though they are not sexy, glamourous, or attractive, we decided that we (GTR) might as well do it properly. In the next few years, there will be several Class 142 Pacers that will retire from their duties north of the Thames, and we will be able to directly purchase them at a bargain basement price.

The onboard facilities will include catering, even though we will supply passengers with water, cutlery, cups, and plates, it is bring your own food and drink supplies. These Pacers will also include a footbath at the stepwell, and a shower in the bellows between the coaches, both which are free of charge to use. However, the caveat for both the footbath and the shower to work depends upon the weather, as the water supply is fresh and direct from the sky.

When further quizzed, the operations manager said of the use of Pacers on the Brighton Belle express "The Class 142 Pacers are a testament of British engineering, as they were built by that bastion of the automotive industry British Leyland. Although built in 1985, they are still going strong, and I am confident that they will continue to do so for many years to come, and will really be going back to the future".

Sussex Scot

GTR are also proud to announce that we have formed a partnership with our fellow train operating companies Arriva Crosscountry and First Transpennine Express to bring back a famous Intercity named train - the Sussex Scot. Talks are presently ongoing with all parties concerned, with plans to reinstate this link that was lost almost 10 years ago. Although the Sussex Scot would not run every day of the year, our plans are to have it running on Saturdays and Sundays during the summer, with one journey in each direction, and would be an extension of both the Crosscountry and Transpennine services all in one.

It is planned for the Sussex Scot to call at Haywards Heath, Redhill, East Croydon, Kensington Olympia, Reading, Oxford, Banbury, Leamington Spa, Coventry, Birmingham International, Birmingham New Street, Wolverhampton, Stafford, Stoke-on-Trent, Stockport, Manchester Piccadilly, Bolton, Preston, Lancaster, Oxenholme The Lake District, Penrith, Carlisle, Lockerbie, Motherwell, and Glasgow Central.


It is anticipated that as there are presently 6 spare Class 442s, these would run with 2 coupled together, with 2 spare. The advantages the Class 442s have is that they can use their own power on the third rail south of the Thames, and can pull over at Kensington Olympia for a locomotive to be attached northbound and detached southbound.

There will be first class provision on the Sussex Scot, with all the bells and whistles if travelling all the way to Glasgow or beyond. Following on from when our partner Arriva Crosscountry introduced the UK's very first £1,000 First Class fare from Newquay in Cornwall to Kyle of Lochalsh in the Scottish Highlands, we have gone one better than that. We are not going to double that. We will quadruple it to £4,000 First Class Single from Brighton to Mallaig.

When quizzed about the fare, the pricing manager Dick Turpin said "it is extremely unlikely anybody will ever purchase that fare anyway. The reason of this being so high is that we can offer promotional fares and keep fares for shorter journeys competitively priced, so as they rise below the rate of inflation".
Is this believable or not?
 

Calthrop

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There was of course the cherished “Ruritania” special photo feature in the April – 1967, I’m virtually certain the year was – Railway World (I’ve posted about this elsewhere on the Forums). Ostensibly showing pictures from the fictitious, but often-cited from way back, Eastern European nation of Ruritania. The idea arose from the way that many earnest but photographically untalented railway enthusiasts in the last years of BR steam, rather went wild with making and circulating badly-executed pictures of said subject matter – thus the comment thereon by connoisseurs of photography, “from looking at these pics, they might as well have been taken in Ruritania”.

Hence RW’s several-page spread of bad, blurry, from-too-far-off British steam pictures, with supporting “informative” text telling of their being recent shots of Ruritanian steam, plus various background about the country: with its supposedly being in Eastern Europe, it was assumed to be as at the 1960s, a Soviet satellite People’s Republic with all that that implied – off to the Gulag for blinking at the wrong moment, hostility to railway photographers as perceived spies, and all the rest. The supposed locations of the pictures were indicated in the text, with “reversed” British place names which hopefully, looked a bit Eastern European -- I seem to recall Senyek Detsroh, Yrubnus, and Aps Notgnimael; and something was worked in, about the Mitkriketten Turnip Tossing Contest at Sdrol.

Many readers took pleasure from joining in the fun, with letters to the magazine in the same spirit, printed for several issues thereafter – some of these bods feigning to be Ruritanian officials or railway enthusiasts actually writing from the country concerned, with back-to-front names accordingly; think I recollect one from the CME of the Ruritanian State Railways, K.I. Lenürb. There were also a few letters from folk seemingly not blessed with much of a sense of humour, indignantly asking what RW thought they were playing at by wasting so much print and publishing-space on this drivel.
 

theblackwatch

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Another bus related one, courtesy of NXWM.

https://www.facebook.com/nxwestmidl...017859643256/1472084782836551/?type=3&theater

We've launched a canal bus so commuters can beat the rush hour between Birmingham and the Black Country.

The drive-on/drive-off single-decker can take 50 passengers and will power its way to Tipton and back on the under-used Birmingham canal network.

Olaf Prilo, Chief Envisioning Engineer at National Express West Midlands, said:

“Transport Focus’ recent Bus Passenger Survey showed that congestion is having a serious impact on our passengers’ overall satisfaction with their bus journey. More than a quarter of journeys in England in 2016 were held up by congestion.

“The West Midlands is blessed with more canals than Venice, plus we also have the best automotive engineers here in the region. So we thought we could combine the two to come up with something that will avoid the traffic to get commuters to work more quickly.

“Our new canal-bus is a dirigible. It only uses energy for propulsion, so it’s environmentally friendly and very quiet.

“During the initial trial period, all N-network bus and tram tickets are valid on the canal bus service.”
 

Jonny

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Not rail-themed, but it is from the Virgin group. The Virgin 1417...

[youtube]n_ob-5eC8uw[/youtube]
 

Mag_seven

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najaB

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VTWC couldn't even be bothered to divert services via the G&SW today forcing all Glasgow bound passengers onto buses from Carlisle.
From memory, diverting via the G&SW takes just about if not longer than a bus from Carlisle and the single-line section means that it isn't easy to plan in additional services without cancelling existing ones. Should Scotrail have cancelled services to allow through running of Virgin services?
 

Busaholic

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The "I" newspaper was an article about taking all the seats out of upto 3 coaches per train and making them standing only. A 45mm circle for standing space. After 9 journeys as a reward your 10th is in first class.

Will edit if I can find a link.

Trouble is - DFT may read it and implement it.

My wife reported it to me as fact, having already spotted what she considered as the 'i' April Fool story!
 

61653 HTAFC

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Following the positive response from enthusiasts to the planned return of 442s to the LWSR, Northern plan to deal with delayed cascades by reintroducing "Heritage" units to rural routes.

Huddersfield to Sheffield will be the first route to be treated, with a dedicated fleet of 4 units (a 110, a 108, and two 101s) working from a new depot at Honley (sub-leased from Arriva-owned Yorkshire Tiger).
 

Dai Corner

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Arriva Trains Wales are today previewing the service pattern to be introduced after they win the new franchise, the first to be awarded by the Welsh Government.

Trains from the Valleys which would normally go to Cardiff Central are terminating at Cardiff Queen Street

The Transport Minister said "In what we believe is a unique collaboration, Transport for Wales and NHS Wales are getting together to ensure commuters get more exercise by walking between stations or to their destinations."
 

Ianno87

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TOC's such as Virgin should concentrate their energies in running a decent train service rather than engaging in April Fools stories. VTWC couldn't even be bothered to divert services via the G&SW today forcing all Glasgow bound passengers onto buses from Carlisle.

It probably takes someone in their Comms team (nothing to do with the ops/planning side) 5 minutes to write, with a few ideas bounded around whilst chatting over lunch.
 

Mag_seven

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From memory, diverting via the G&SW takes just about if not longer than a bus from Carlisle and the single-line section means that it isn't easy to plan in additional services without cancelling existing ones. Should Scotrail have cancelled services to allow through running of Virgin services?

I can't accept that there are zero pathing opportunities (that don't involve considering cancelling existing services) even for a two hourly divert in each direction - where there is a will there is a way.
 

najaB

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I can't accept that there are zero pathing opportunities (that don't involve considering cancelling existing services) even for a two hourly divert in each direction - where there is a will there is a way.
Scotrail had to alter their timetable to allow for Virgin diverts when Lammington viaduct was closed. So, you're correct that it's possible to schedule them in but it isn't a straightforward thing to do. You also have to consider the impact on the other end of the journey as well - the longer journey time via the GSW means that the Virgin service needs to find a new path into Birmingham and/or Euston as well.
 

SteveP29

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INK-REDIBLE: Virgin Trains launches world’s first ticket tattoo

https://www.virgintrains.co.uk/abou...s-launches-worlds-first-ticket-tattoo-1891052

[/I]

The rage from some people on the VTEC Facebook page was comical.
I've never seen so many get into a fluster and scream about the holocaust ever.

I agree that when you put it into context, tattooing and trains can be tenuously linked to what happened during WW2, but frothing at the mouth before you've even a, checked the date and b, read the story is just ridiculous
 

AlterEgo

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TOC's such as Virgin should concentrate their energies in running a decent train service rather than engaging in April Fools stories. VTWC couldn't even be bothered to divert services via the G&SW today forcing all Glasgow bound passengers onto buses from Carlisle.

How much time and effort do you think it took to write a single press release?
 
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