Strangest thing you've heard/seen on the rail network...

[LUKAnorthwest]

Today I heard another passenger talking on the phone at BOLTON and it inspired me to include this thread.

I'm not sure if it's appropriate to discuss on this forum as others have said that this is a 'family' forum.

It went along the lines of this:

Passenger A: (talking in the phone) don't tell mum I've had a *********. Then put the phone down and got on the train to manchester.

(******* meaning something involving 3 people. Hopefully it's obscure enough for it to be incomprehensible to the younger audience.

So my question is this.

What is the strangest thing you've heard or seen whilst on the railway network?


NOTE FOR ADMIN: I hate having to say this as I feel it is littering on posts but feel free to move or delete this thread if you feel it's in the wrong place/ already been discussed. I've looked around and couldn't find anything similar...


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[theageofthetra]

I was on a steam hauled special in Poland which had the regional heats of Miss Poland held on the train! The girls all lined up in front of the loco (& I kid you not I heard some sad old photter complaining they were spoiling his shot!)They then got in the front coach & proceeded to change into traditional Polish dress, evening wear & swimwear again, all behind a rather flimsy curtain across the coach. They then paraded down the train to the buffet car where the local dignataries & last years Miss Poland were on the judging panel. Once we got to Wolstyn for the May day night they had a final cat walk show on a flat bed wagon on the turntable. I swear you couldn't make it up & it was probably the best railway trip ever. Must dig the pictures out sometime!

 

[DelayRepay]

I saw a ticket office clerk very patiently explaining to a man that he couldn't pay his gas bill at the ticket office and would probably have more luck at the post office....

 

[fishquinn]

Strangest thing you have seen on the rail network

A ticket cheek on the 08:42 from Coventry to Crewe!

 

[telstarbox]

Something about getting a seat/train being on time, just to get those out of the way.

 

[Bodiddly]

A funny one for me was a thing that happened during a track relay in Aberdour, Fife. I was the engineering supervisor at the station on a Sunday morning and the track was completely lifted. I noticed and elderly lady on the opposite platform with a large suitcase had just sat down on a seat. I went over to see if she was ok and she replied, 'aye son, just waiting for the Edinburgh train' I then pointed out that no trains would be running due to the fact a digger was passing at that moment and there was no railway laid down. She then replied, I kid you not, 'are you sure son?' I said I was quite sure and helped her over the stairs to the car park to get her replacement bus service. We had a nice chat while we waited for her bus.
Another more cheeky one was when I was inspecting a bit of track in Brunstane, Edinburgh. I looked up to find a rather nice lady standing naked at her large tenement front window. She looked back at me, waved and slowly and I mean slowly, closed the curtains and disappeared inside. That made my day!

 

[onein37]

Many years ago a driver having a sexual favour in the cab!

 

[fowler9]

Any train in to Liverpool of a weekend during the evening. Listening to people from Widnes, Warrington, Runcorn and Wigan slagging off Liverpool and people from there whilst heading there to give them their money is an education.

 

[185143]

Any train in to Liverpool of a weekend during the evening. Listening to people from Widnes, Warrington, Runcorn and Wigan slagging off Liverpool and people from there whilst heading there to give them their money is an education.

No comment!

 

[fowler9]

No comment!

That was, sort of, a comment.

 

[ATW Alex 101]

For the first time ever, I have heard my local (Capenhurst) being referred to as 'Capo' which made me chuckle. It was also the way this drunken chav was going round to every passenger saying "Arriggghhhtt mmaaayyytttteee dis traayyyn goin to capo ladd"

 

[Kite159]

"Where's Carlisle?"

From some youths on a service along the Tees Valley tonight at reference to the posters Northern are advertising for weekday advances.

 

[LUKAnorthwest]

Oh 2 that I've just remembered.

A lady once asked me how to get to MANCHESTER PICCADILLY whilst I was standing on the station approach just 10 meters away. I asked her the obvious question of whether she meant PICCADILLY or VICTORIA and she was adamant that she wanted the former. An awkward point to the large sign above the entrance doors was in order.

Secondly while on a Virgin Pendolino to LONDON EUSTON a family sat down and the mother said to her partner 'this is nice, are you sure this is standard class, I've got my own light and blind!' The partner then proceeded to go and check.

That was a face meet palm moment...


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[Abpj17]

I suspect they may not be entirely unusual but...

A variety of stag/hen dos on trains on Brighton/Bournemouth doing silly things

And a group of three guys quite blatantly taking class A drugs off a table on a late night train out of London

 

[EM2]

And a group of three guys quite blatantly taking class A drugs off a table on a late night train out of London

We had a guy and his girlfriend trying that off a platfrom bench. Unfortunately for them, their audience included three undercover BTP officers

 

[Techniquest]

As soon as I saw this thread, I had to post the below anecdote. I haven't read the thread properly yet, but this is what immediately came to mind:

I don't remember when it was exactly, but it was either autumn 2004 or sometime in 2005. Either way, I was coming up the stairs to platforms 3 and 4 at Cardiff Central one evening, ready to get an HST back home to Swansea. It must have been a tough day, or just a long one, because for some reason as I was walking up the right hand side of the stairs I heard "...Southern service to Balham"!

I have no idea how on Earth I would have heard that in Cardiff, obviously my brain and ears were misbehaving that evening.

Something I did definitely see and hear on the railway was at Stratford-upon-Avon on 26th August 2014. Someone somewhere had specially got the announcement to suggest changing at Reddish South for Scotland and principal stations to Tonfanau (I think)! Never again will such an outrageous annoucement be heard at Stratford-upon-Avon!

 

[Bevan Price]

Unpleasant, rather than strange. Two halves of a cat that had ignored the danger of trespassing on the railway. (St. Helens Junction, circa 2013).

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Any train in to Liverpool of a weekend during the evening. Listening to people from Widnes, Warrington, Runcorn and Wigan slagging off Liverpool and people from there whilst heading there to give them their money is an education.

Once in the mid 1980s I took a friend who was at the time a less experienced enthusiast on a bashing trip in the North West; we were in a crowded 507 / 508 in Brikenhead when he piped up, in a load voice: "Hey, Peter, did you hear the one about the Irishman..."

 

[Crossover]

Something I did definitely see and hear on the railway was at Stratford-upon-Avon on 26th August 2014. Someone somewhere had specially got the announcement to suggest changing at Reddish South for Scotland and principal stations to Tonfanau (I think)! Never again will such an outrageous annoucement be heard at Stratford-upon-Avon!

Were you there?! I stood and listened to that announcement whilst drip drying thanks to the rain before re boarding the railtour! I believe a forum member has recorded it so hopefully it may get shared. Standing at Stratford Upon Avon hearing 'Platform 3 for the 16:15 service to Leeds via Reddish South' was certainly interesting. Im not entirely sure when LM would use half the place names they have recorded!

 

[GatwickDepress]

While waiting for the Brighton stopper at Hastings on Wednesday, the automated announcements went: "...Eastbourne, Hampden Park, Polegate, Berwick-upon-Tweed..."

 

[table38]

I was sat near some girls going into Manchester, and the conversation went something like:

What's the time?
What, the time now?

I also stumbled across this the other day, which I guess would have been the strangest thing I'd ever seen on a train if I'd been in Germany in 1968.
File it under "surreal things they would never let you do on a train now"

[youtube]DXUtmwpLDHQ[/youtube]

 

[tsr]

Manual announcement at Gatwick Airport for an amended service the other day:

"... for the ab:cd First Great Western service to Reading, calling at Redhill, Reigate, Betchworth, Dorking Deepdene, Dorking West, Westcott, Shere, Chilworth, Shalford, Guildford..."

Then a correct list, evidently not read from the Sectional Appendix or ELR, about 10 seconds later - very hurriedly!

 

[47403]

I saw a ticket office clerk very patiently explaining to a man that he couldn't pay his gas bill at the ticket office and would probably have more luck at the post office....

fantastic

Many moons back at school, mid 80's, the school I went to, had the ECML running past it, my friends and I were in the school yard, waiting for the 08.20 Newcastle - Liverpool turn, when it duly did, with 45 whatever on it, the very last window of the very last coach, was a guy stood stark bollock naked, who shouted Morning as it whizzed past. We just all burst out laughing, he'd probably end up on the offenders list now.

 

[Techniquest]

Something I did definitely see and hear on the railway was at Stratford-upon-Avon on 26th August 2014. Someone somewhere had specially got the announcement to suggest changing at Reddish South for Scotland and principal stations to Tonfanau (I think)! Never again will such an outrageous annoucement be heard at Stratford-upon-Avon!

Were you there?! I stood and listened to that announcement whilst drip drying thanks to the rain before re boarding the railtour! I believe a forum member has recorded it so hopefully it may get shared. Standing at Stratford Upon Avon hearing 'Platform 3 for the 16:15 service to Leeds via Reddish South' was certainly interesting. Im not entirely sure when LM would use half the place names they have recorded!

I was indeed there, I was fortunate to have avoided the rain all of that day! Oh and I forgot it was 25/08/14 not 26/08/14

 

[ChiefPlanner]

I suspect they may not be entirely unusual but...



And a group of three guys quite blatantly taking class A drugs off a table on a late night train out of London

Not that unusual - even on FCC ! - not going to get involved in that one !

 

[Starmill]

"Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen welcome aboard this Northern service to Crewe, we'll be calling now at Wilmslow, Alderley Edge, Heaton Chapel, Levenshulme and Manchester Piccadilly."

 

[Kite159]

"This train is for Birmingham International, the next stop is Telford Central. Thank you"

On a service to Aberystwyth after the hub of activity of Dovey Junction. Cue a couple panicked girls thinking they overslept and were heading back to Birmingham.

 

[fowler9]

"The next station is Birmingham New Street" after getting a late train from Lime Street intending to get off at South Parkway after a work Christmas party.

 

[user15681]

I seem to attract the weirdest things and people, all of these are absolutely genuine...

- 2 men shaving in the toilet whilst their friend urinated
- woman eating cereal with milk
- woman buttering bread with her fingers on the table (yes, really!)
- people talking in detail about menstrual cycles
- offers of a Brazilian wax
- girls asking if I was Polish
- free tissues when I challenged a tissue seller and asked her who had given her permission

 

[fishquinn]

A tram from Station Street to Hucknall a while back.

"This tram is for Station Street. The next stop is Phoenix Park".