Stupid questions from passengers

[S-Car-Go]

I've worked in the railways for many years, and have generally found staff have many anecdotes about the daft questions that the general public have asked. Occasionally a little facetious reply will sneak out Has anyone else had these moments?

Some of the ones that stand out:
Pax: "Does this train go to the Midlands?"
Me: "80% of all trains from this station stop somewhere in the Midlands. WHERE in the Midlands?"

Pax: "How long is the train?"
Me: "About 200 metres Madam."
Pax: "No. I mean, how long is the journey?"
Me: "To where?"

Pax: "Will this train leave on time?"
Me: "I could lie and say yes. But I have no idea. I'm not working it, and I can't predict the future."

Pax: "Is this the London train?"
Me: "Yes.... are you wanting London then?"
Pax: "No. Watford."
Me: "Umm we don't stop there."

Pax: "Where is the way out?
Me: "Go up the stairs, turn right to exit the station."
Pax: "OK...umm... but is that the way out?"

Pax: "How do I get to the platform?"
Me: "Through the door, walk straight ahead."
Pax: "How do I do that?"
Me: "Umm.. put 1 foot in front of another, and repeat?"

 

[7Sonofa7Son]

A few years ago at this point, a Network Rail leaf-busting train stopped at the station because for a short wait on a red signal. I saw a passenger walk up to the train and ask the platform staff "is this the train to London Victoria?"

Leaf-busters are essentially locomotives with tanks of solution attached. No doors, no inside (apart from the cab) and certainly no way for passing unless one was to physically hold onto the hand rail.

I thought that was pretty funny.

 

[yorksrob]

A few years ago at this point, a Network Rail leaf-busting train stopped at the station because for a short wait on a red signal. I saw a passenger walk up to the train and ask the platform staff "is this the train to London Victoria?"

Leaf-busters are essentially locomotives with tanks of solution attached. No doors, no inside (apart from the cab) and certainly no way for passing unless one was to physically hold onto the hand rail.

I thought that was pretty funny.

You could perhaps understand it with an old de-icing unit converted from a 4SUB or such like.

 

[LCC106]

“Which side gets the most sun?”
“Is this train going first?” (when clearly on the buffers with another train in front).
“Which way’s the train going?” (again when at the buffers).

 

[Spartacus]

"Is this my train?" Psychic powers at the ready....

"Will this train be on time tomorrow/next week/in 2053?" Crystal ball time...

"Where's first class?" They've just boarded a 150...

 

[rg177]

Had a lady call up late at night (when I was in a call centre for a number of TOCs) absolutely lose her rag because I couldn't say if her train would be on time tomorrow. Apparently "no planned disruptions or alterations" wasn't sufficient

Meanwhile on a station, we once had two platforms blocked off as they weren't being served due to disruption. A bloke came to shout at me and call me thick because he wanted to take a shortcut via those platforms (which was barely a shortcut at all) and couldn't because I'd put a barrier up...

 

[Sly Old Fox]

There’s no such thing as a stupid question if you’re in an unfamiliar environment and need reassurance.

 

[yorksrob]

"Where's first class?" They've just boarded a 150...

It's called "managing expectations"

 

[WirralLine]

I once had somebody ask "Which stop for Wales" on a service with about 20 stops in Wales

 

[Envoy]

I guess the person who asked for the train to Wales did not need to be specific about which stop in Wales they wanted.

Mention has been made about someone asking which side of the train was likely to be sunny? This is not a daft question but a very sensible one for someone who wanted to look out and not have the sun in their eyes or the blind down. It could also have been someone who wanted to work on their computer and therefore did not want sunbeams hitting the screen.

 

[dk1]

I guess the person who asked for the train to Wales did not need to be specific about which stop in Wales they wanted.

Mention has been made about someone asking which side of the train was likely to be sunny? This is not a daft question but a very sensible one for someone who wanted to look out and not have the sun in their eyes or the blind down. It could also have been someone who wanted to work on their computer and therefore did not want sunbeams hitting the screen.

But trains go round corners and change direction

For example an EMR service leaving Norwich starts off heading East before heading West within 5 minutes then less than an hour later changes direction altogether.

Also why would many staff know where the sun would be at any given time?

 

[Spartacus]

But trains go round corners and change direction

For example an EMR service leaving Norwich starts off heading East before heading West within 5 minutes then less than an hour later changes direction altogether.

Also why would many staff know where the sun would be at any given time?

In fairness you could always have a good guess, morning East, middle of the day, south or above, afternoon west. On many services it will be quite predictable, whether running east/west or north/south.

I once had somebody ask "Which stop for Wales" on a service with about 20 stops in Wales

I did once here, possible on here, of someone wanting to catch a train to Holyhead but for some reason went from Paddington quite late in the afternoon. "It's all Wales, innit, can't be that far..." I think the closest they could have got that night was Carmarthen!

 

[dk1]

In fairness you could always have a good guess, morning East, middle of the day, south or above, afternoon west. On many services it will be quite predictable, whether running east/west or north/south.

You’d think the passenger could guess that equally as well.

I was recently asked if this station was the same one trains arrived as departed. In almost 40yrs nothing surprises me anymore.

 

[yorksrob]

But trains go round corners and change direction

Not between Ashford and Redhill they don't !

 

[uww11x]

There’s no such thing as a stupid question if you’re in an unfamiliar environment and need reassurance.

Exactly this!

 

[LUL1970]

Not a stupid question as such but....I was working at Newbury Park and had someone ask me where the racecourse was. What made it worse was that he had come from Paddington.

 

[HSTfan!!!]

A favourite of mine was “excuse me, where is platform B U S?”

 

[notverydeep]

“Which side gets the most sun?”

Commuting from Welwyn Garden City into London on the ECML, I soon learned that on a sunny day, the East side of the train in the morning, especially facing forward can be quite unpleasant, though it never seems to be as bad returning in the afternoon with the sun in the West. I suspect many travellers won’t necessarily know the geography of a rail route they haven’t used frequently and hence might find an answer useful if they find glare uncomfortable or need to use a laptop…

 

[Gloster]

In the early 1980s the box I worked in had a GPO line on an extension from the booking office; when the station was closed at nights it was switched through to the box in case we needed it. Around three a.m. one day a woman rang up and wanted times for Glastonbury (this was not festival time) and, when I told her that Glastonbury station had been closed for nearly twenty years, said she had used it recently. She insisted she wanted Glastonbury and would not accept those for any of the surrounding stations. I eventually told her to check where she was going and to try train enquiries.

I did wonder if someone I knew was winding me up, but there wasn’t a hint of giggling, nor did I ever hear anything from anybody.


In more recent years I have been asked where the Restauant Car is on a Weymouth-Bristol 150.

 

[Spartacus]

There’s no such thing as a stupid question if you’re in an unfamiliar environment and need reassurance.

When you're stood on the blocks at a terminus or bay and they ask which direction it's going in you wonder if they're familiar with the basic laws of physics... they do want to know that as well so they'll be facing forwards, they're not checking the destination.

You’d think the passenger could guess that equally as well.

The number of people though he have absolutely no idea about geography and the points of a compass though. Many of them drive too, and probably get lost quite a bit!

 

[dangie]

There’s no such thing as a stupid question if you’re in an unfamiliar environment and need reassurance.

Correct.
As I was told, there’s no such thing as stupid questions, but there are stupid answers.

 

[AverageJoe]

two trains permissive working one against buffers
Pax “which one is leaving first?”

Again train against buffers
Pax: is it going this direction (points left) or this direction (points right towards buffers and the the station shops)

I was stood outside of the train under the platform screen which said Manchester Piccadilly, front of train said Manchester Piccadilly, there was currently a station announcement saying “the train on platform *** is a Manchester Piccadilly train calling at ….
Pax: “is this the Manchester Piccadilly train?” (This one is a daily one)

Was once a tram driver driving along a road section and a car suddenly stopped and parked but blocking my way, I got on the horn and the driver got out and furiously told me to “go around” it actually led to an argument because he couldn’t comprehend that this was impossible for me to do.

I’ve also had passengers argue with me about where MY train is going.
Pax: hi mate is this train going to Sheffield?
Me: no mate this is a Leeds train.
Pax: no it isn’t it’s going to Sheffield.
Me: I can assure you pal it isn’t.
Pax: I’m telling you it is.
Me: ok mate enjoy your day in Leeds.

Then there is the
Pax: which way is it to platform 8
Me: points left
Pax: walks right
Me: huh

 

[alex17595]

'Is this the train to Crewe?' While stood on the platform at Crewe

 

[Ashley Hill]

I once at Cardiff Central when a lady asked me the platform for some unpronounceable station in the valleys. I told her I didn’t know but that those services leave from P6 and 7 (no 8 then). She didn’t accept this so I directed her to the platform staff. “You work here,why don’t you know?” she replied by now quite huffy. I suggested she try platform 5. Not my finest customer service but some people can’t be helped even when you try.

 

[AverageJoe]

There’s no such thing as a stupid question if you’re in an unfamiliar environment and need reassurance.

I travel a lot and really do rely on help when in foreign situations, however some of the questions I would say are stupid because the information could be easily attained if they weren’t lazy.

Stations are set up pretty well to show what train is going where and how to get to said platform.

Of course asking station staff is an option and I always help in a friendly manner, but sometimes it’s just pure laziness on the pax part.

But trains go round corners and change direction

For example an EMR service leaving Norwich starts off heading East before heading West within 5 minutes then less than an hour later changes direction altogether.

Also why would many staff know where the sun would be at any given time?

I’d have been like “you’re in England, there is no sun”

 

[Henffordd]

I don't work for the railways, and don't behave (I think) or dress in any way that suggests "staff". However, I am surprised how often, when waiting for a train, I am approached by a passenger asking "is this the platform for...?" or "is this the train to...?"

Perhaps it's just the grey hair....

 

[King Lazy]

I was working a 153 as a guard one day on a line with stops every few minutes. Train was quite busy so was out doing tickets. Just before every stop I’d head back to the cab, the train would slow and I’d operate the doors before heading back into the cab and getting my machine.

After a few stops an older lady asked me “Do you do everything on this train”
“Feels like” I replied.
“Do you drive it or is someone else doing it?”
“No, there’s someone in the front”
“Oh, I just noticed every time you come back down here and go in that room the train stops and then when it sets off you go back in there and then come out here. I thought you were making it go and stop”.

I’ve also had the “which way does the train go?” whilst stood next to a buffer stop on a branch.

My favourites though are.

Before a long rural journey with many stops a man came and asked for a small station. The destination blind was correctly set for the large destination city.

“Does this train go to ‘ruralville’?”
“Yes”
“But it says “Bigtown” on the back”
“Yeah, that’s where it finishes”
“But it doesn’t say ‘ruralville”.
“If we listed all the stops it’d be 100ft tall and we’d never get it under the bridges”
“It does go to ‘ruralville’?”
“Yes, get on”

Another, not a question as such.

At a tiny rural station a group of around 10 adults and few kids are queuing to get on at one door and taking forever. This was a request stop where we were listed to arrive and depart at the same time.

Two adults are putting children on the train, the others just watching.

Me: “Can you use the other door as well”.

Woman shouts back “But we’re all together”
“You can meet up inside”
“But we want to sit together”
I just gave up and let them delay us.

I often found people would ask what I termed an icebreaker question them the actual question.

So “Is this train for X?” then “does it stop at Y” when they could simply ask “does this train stop at Y?”

But if I listed the times I’d asked stupid questions in other scenarios that would be quite a list. I do usually realise as I’m asking though.

 

[cjbirkett]

Good ones off the Fort William sleeper involved people asking “when do we go past Loch Ness” and the guy inquiring “when was the line rerouted over Rannoch Moor? It didn’t used to come this way” (he also was overheard telling his travelling party about them changing at Corrour junction - a few of us always referred to it as “Corrour International” after that incident)

 

[Falcon1200]

There’s no such thing as a stupid question if you’re in an unfamiliar environment and need reassurance.

I agree, no matter how stupid a question seems to knowledgeable railway staff passengers should be treated with respect and assisted as far as possible.

 

[mikeg]

I once had a lady fellow passenger ask me on a class 185 which way she should sit so her back is to the engine? I suggest she lie down on the floor, to a much confused look.