Telltale sìgns of newbie rail travellers

[chris89]

or Norton Bridge (often severe signal checks) for Stafford.

Mind you I've heard guards announce "we are now arriving at Stafford" as we slow down for Norton Bridge !!

Talking about Stafford. When ever on the EDB - WVH VT service, when we are slowing down to cross over at Stafford, for the line to Wolves. People always think it is Wolverhampton. Although no announcements.

 

[Robert Taggart]

I'm about to be a newbie rail traveller myself. I've lived in Australia for the last 43 years...

COLONIAL - Go Home - would be happy to buy you the right train ticket !

 

[satisnek]

Don't know if it's a sign of a newbie traveller or just a dozy one, but the following scenario seems very common:

Long-distance train leaves station and Conductor gives details of subsequent calling points over PA system, sometimes with the addition "the next station will be [x], in about 15 minutes time".

Train speeds through countryside, then an announcement "We will shortly be arriving at [x], [x] is the next station stop", or words to that effect.

Train brakes, clatters over pointwork in station throat and runs into platform with nameboards [x] at regular intervals.

Train stops, doors are released, passengers alight and other passengers start boarding. At this point some bozo materialises in the centre of the carriage (as if beamed down from an orbiting starship) and struggles through the incoming crowd in order to alight, almost invariably having to wrest their suitcase from the end luggage rack in the process.

I sometimes wonder if these people are TOC 'plants' employed to make the journey more 'interesting'...

 

[sprinterguy]

People who try and do their make-up only to swear it all over themselves like a toddler ransacking mummy's handbag

Conversely, some of the young ladies of the High Peak who must be regular travellers appear to have got their make-up application down to a fine art on a moving Pacer, timing the activity perfectly to coincide with the traverse of the Totley tunnel on the way into Sheffield, when they can use the darkened windows as a mirror!
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Mind you I've heard guards announce "we are now arriving at Stafford" as we slow down for Norton Bridge !!

Yeah I've heard that one a couple of times as well. Really is a terrible bottleneck at present, Norton Bridge, glad that work is underway to sort it out now.

 

[paulfoel]

1) People who panic and try to pile onto the train as others are getting off. I was stepping off the other day and some young women came steaming in. I had no choice but to barge her - I aint going down the gap trying to avoid her.

2) Old people who get on the train and sit on the first seat they see. I've been on a train with 3 people in the carriage and seated on one near the door. Old person got on flapping and sat right next to me. Go away theres plenty of spare seats - I dont want to sit squashed next to a stranger on an empty train.

 

[Agent_c]

Conversely, some of the young ladies of the High Peak who must be regular travellers appear to have got their make-up application down to a fine art on a moving Pacer, timing the activity perfectly to coincide with the traverse of the Totley tunnel on the way into Sheffield, when they can use the darkened windows as a mirror!

I've heard tales of theme park workers who take a bowl of cereal onto roller coasters for the first (test) circuit of the day and manage to emerge without losing a drop of milk.

 

[SPADTrap]

Old people who get on the train and sit on the first seat they see. I've been on a train with 3 people in the carriage and seated on one near the door. Old person got on flapping and sat right next to me. Go away theres plenty of spare seats - I dont want to sit squashed next to a stranger on an empty train.

If you're sat by the door then did you sit in the first seat you saw? :P

 

[TUC]

One which I find mildly annoying, but at times can be dangerous, is the tendency of some passengers to decide to start running along the platform at the moment the train arrives - barging in to those who know what they are doijg and have been quietly standing in the right spot. Some seem to suddenly latch on to the sight of a particular carriage or door for no obvious reason.

Although platform 16 at Leeds can catch out even familiar travellers. On several occeasions I've seen TPE trains stop well back towards the station entrance, sometimes so far back it's not been obvious to some on the platform that it's there, only to see everyone piling towards it a minute or two later. No doubt the train is just observing signals in terms of where to stop, but there does not look to be any routes through that are freed up by stopping so far back so the rationale is a bit of a mystery.

 

[contrex]

an obus (whatever that means)

French word meaning "artillery shell"

 

[LowLevel]

Folk who walk slowly down the platform checking every coach until they find the one they're reserved in and ignore whistles, shouts and everything else. If they're really unlucky and the platform staff/guard decide they really have to go, have a tendency to break composure and burst into tears in a heap on the platform as the train pulls out. I only did it once, after some 40 something lass peered carefully into every carriage she got to when she got to number 6 of 10 and we were a minute past time. Went to see if she was OK and was most surprised when she started apologising to me !

 

[fowler9]

1) People who panic and try to pile onto the train as others are getting off. I was stepping off the other day and some young women came steaming in. I had no choice but to barge her - I aint going down the gap trying to avoid her.

2) Old people who get on the train and sit on the first seat they see. I've been on a train with 3 people in the carriage and seated on one near the door. Old person got on flapping and sat right next to me. Go away theres plenty of spare seats - I dont want to sit squashed next to a stranger on an empty train.

I think that is more people being daft than newbie train travellers. I got the 18:25 Lime Street to Oxford Road tonight and it was a 2 car 156. The coach nearest the ticket barriers was full and standing, in the front coach I had a table to myself, the bloke over the aisle did. Most of the airline style seats were empty as were the front two tables. Many of these people travel every day, get on the first door they come to and assume the train is crowded. Fine by me.

 

[tsr]

I had someone complain to me that they caught an earlier connection and arrived at their destination 15 minutes early. I suggest no regular Southern passengers would do that. Ever.

"But my printout says we should be fifteen minutes later! Now I have to wait for my friend to pick me up!"

Well, if you had really wanted to, you could have waited in the rain for an extra fifteen minutes at Three Bridges, but y'know...

(P.S. Their destination was a staffed station, at about lunchtime, with decent waiting facilities and a few cafes...)

 

[MidlandDeltic]

On an unrelated note, people who try and change trains at Birmingham New Street when they could have changed elsewhere.

Hmmm. Back in the old days, I remember having great hassle trying to get a booking clerk to arrange a Nottingham - Kidwelly journey for my wife with a child and a toddler to change at Cheltenham rather than the hell-hole, for rather obvious reasons; computer said no! In these days of journey planners and on-line ticket purchase, I suspect it can be impossible to avoid!

 

[paulfoel]

If you're sat by the door then did you sit in the first seat you saw? :P

Yes but it was empty!

 

[Scotty]

Yes but it was empty!

So was the seat next to you

 

[TheNewNo2]

Hmmm. Back in the old days, I remember having great hassle trying to get a booking clerk to arrange a Nottingham - Kidwelly journey for my wife with a child and a toddler to change at Cheltenham rather than the hell-hole, for rather obvious reasons; computer said no! In these days of journey planners and on-line ticket purchase, I suspect it can be impossible to avoid!

Not at all, but you would need to buy two separate tickets if travelling advance, but then that would be cheaper than a combined one anyway due to Cheltenham being the limit of XC's fares.

 

[rdwarr]

Bit disappointing to find people here who are proud to be amongst the "bags on seats" brigade. Fine saying "I'll move it if somebody begs me to be allowed to sit down" (!) but what about when the weather's bad?
Guy on the 1843 out of King's Cross last night (it's always full and standing as it picks up at Finsbury Park) put his massive bag on the seat next to him. By the time he was "kind" enough to move it for somebody the seat was soaked through.
Gibve 'em all a PF - empty seats are for passengers; there should be no need to ask. And if you're that much of a sociapath that you can't stand sitting next to a fellow traveller, get a bike.

 

[andrewkeith5]

Bit disappointing to find people here who are proud to be amongst the "bags on seats" brigade. Fine saying "I'll move it if somebody begs me to be allowed to sit down" (!) but what about when the weather's bad?
Guy on the 1843 out of King's Cross last night (it's always full and standing as it picks up at Finsbury Park) put his massive bag on the seat next to him. By the time he was "kind" enough to move it for somebody the seat was soaked through.
Gibve 'em all a PF - empty seats are for passengers; there should be no need to ask. And if you're that much of a sociapath that you can't stand sitting next to a fellow traveller, get a bike.

Just goes to show how pathetic society has become that so many people cant say "excuse me, please may I sit there", I suppose. What about when the weather's bad and that person who decides they are going to sit centrally on the seat despite it being inches too small for 95% of the population comes along? Bags aren't likely to be any wetter than people if the weather is that bad.

If you're lacking social skills to the extent that you cant say "excuse me", perhaps you need to consider not using shared transport methods. In the meantime I will continue to allow anyone who wishes to sit next to me, provided I can sit in the aisle so that when somebody does I can hang half my body off the end of the seat instead of being crushed into a window, whilst continuing to be enormously frustrated by the fact that train manufacturers expect me to only carry a bag the size of a water bottle in the overhead rack and have a waist size smaller than a size zero model to fit in their seats. And I cant use the racks at the end of the carriage because they cant be seen from the majority of seats and we have to keep our belongings with us and in sight nowadays so that we know exactly who stole them.

How about we penalty fare all those people who carry bikes on board and take up space people could be using instead? Or those people who are actually in breach of the rules by carrying luggage far heavier and clearly inappropriate for the "luggage you can comfortably carry" rule. Maybe at stations anyone who can't carry their bag to their seat instead of wheeling it should be forced to buy another ticket for it or prove they are medically unable?

There are two sides to every story and I'm afraid on this it looks like we're just going to have to agree to disagree. I look forward to sitting next to.you at some point!

 

[Andrewlong]

Infrequent travellers or those unfamiliar with the route they are travelling on often keep referring to a railmap for their location or keep standing up to walk over to the exit doors where the route map is located over the doors. Done it myself when venturing into the unknown south of East Croydon.

Plus they talk to you - really weird - in the South east where everyone tends to sit in silence or they text away.

As to bags on seats, it's a bit irritating but you need to ask for the seat and they will respond. It's not a newbie thing but something the younger generation consider to be normal behaviour.

You can tell a noob when travelling on the tube - they will stand on the left handside of the escalator and be promptly told to move to the other side unless physically moving!

 

[theorangeone]

Bags on seats - there's a simple solution to that dilemma. Sit in the aisle seat. As the train fills up, everyone will avoid you until the last few seats are being taken, by which point if you still don't let someone sit next to you, there's something desperately wrong with you.

I commit a few of these crimes, especially the one about piling aboard a train - this is usually when I'm on a Tube/Rail Challenge and I've reached the platform and there's a train waiting to depart. Also latching onto a particular door - I'll try and guess it, yes, but if I'm wrong I'll try and reach it as the train comes in.

I can also admit to arriving at Swansea on a HST from London with my mother for a connection on to Whitland. We'd previously taken through trains to Haverfordwest, which were 175s and in that respect similar to the units down in London, but this time it was a 153 bound for Pembroke Dock, and they're, as you know, single car. This particular one had to fit nigh on half the people off the FGW HST, and was packed full; I remember wondering if extra carriages were going to be brought from the sidings!

To this day, we refer to it (a single car 153) as the 'tin can', mostly in affection.

 

[amcluesent]

Noobs will stay on the concourse looking at the departure board, regulars will have the platform info on a smartphone app. and will be there waiting to get on.

Noobs will sit forever in a broken down train, regulars will txt for a taxi, force a door open and walk to the nearest road for pick-up and be home by the time the Thunderbird has left the sidings

 

[sadgit]

Noobs will stay on the concourse looking at the departure board, regulars will have the platform info on a smartphone app. and will be there waiting to get on.

Real Time Trains is fantastic for this (not the app, the app is cack). I usually end up sitting with peace and quiet, in my pick of all the seats, on a perfectly empty Desiro at Waterloo/MK3 set at Liverpool Street (delete as applicable) for half an hour rather than trying to find the one free bench on the concourse followed by fighting for a free seat amongst everyone else who's just seen the departure board. Bliss.

 

[melena]

There also newbies that take the kids and grandkids on their first train ride and announce it to the whole carriage that these new trains(pacers) are quite comfy and also the newbies that think a shiny, clean exterior or a recently painted train is brand new and any thing with dirt or a small patch of rust must be an old train, even if its the same class as the clean one.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Real Time Trains is fantastic for this (not the app, the app is cack). I usually end up sitting with peace and quiet, in my pick of all the seats, on a perfectly empty Desiro at Waterloo/MK3 set at Liverpool Street (delete as applicable) for half an hour rather than trying to find the one free bench on the concourse followed by fighting for a free seat amongst everyone else who's just seen the departure board. Bliss.

You do have to be careful though - until it says "at platform" it is often not correct as a platform change entered manually on the PIS may not be reflected on it.

 

[jon0844]

If the platform is bold you should be okay, but late at night at King's Cross I have noticed that even a clear bold platform number can and does differ from reality. Twice I've been told a train is from platform 8 and it's been at platform 5 or 6.

But, generally speaking, you should be okay most of the time.

 

[yorksrob]

There also newbies that take the kids and grandkids on their first train ride and announce it to the whole carriage that these new trains(pacers) are quite comfy and also the newbies that think a shiny, clean exterior or a recently painted train is brand new new and any thing with dirt or a small patch of rust must be an old train, even if its the same class as the clean one.

A Pacer - believed as new! Hard to believe.

In my childhood though, thirty year old CEP's in jaffa cake livery were believed to be new trains by my fellow school mates and their parents.

 

[PermitToTravel]

People rolling cigarettes only to have tobacco fall all over the table and seat.

Too many regular travellers do this one!

I've heard tales of theme park workers who take a bowl of cereal onto roller coasters for the first (test) circuit of the day and manage to emerge without losing a drop of milk.

Reminds me of this

 

[AM9]

Just goes to show how pathetic society has become that so many people cant say "excuse me, please may I sit there"

Not quite, I say: "excuse me, is that bag yours?" If the answer is 'no', then I will move it and sit down.
If the answer is 'yes' then I say: "could you move it please, I am going to sit there". They then have the opportunity to move their own bag. If they don't then I will move it if there is room either in the rack or under/behind the seat. If they object to that then I will sit on it. That usually gets a response.*
* This is my strategy for a heavily loaded train in dyatime, NOT the last train full of drunks. That one may require support from a TM if present.

 

[Agent_c]

Not quite, I say: "excuse me, is that bag yours?" If the answer is 'no', then I will move it and sit down.
If the answer is 'yes' then I say: "could you move it please, I am going to sit there". They then have the opportunity to move their own bag. If they don't then I will move it if there is room either in the rack or under/behind the seat. If they object to that then I will sit on it. That usually gets a response.*
* This is my strategy for a heavily loaded train in dyatime, NOT the last train full of drunks. That one may require support from a TM if present.

But the announcement says if you find an unnattended bag you have to report it to staff so it can be destroyed or something...

 

[pdeaves]

There also newbies that take the kids and grandkids on their first train ride and announce it to the whole carriage that these new trains(pacers) are quite comfy...

... often accompanied by choo-choo or whoo-whoo noises, and encourage said young person to do the same. When was the last time a diesel or electric train went choo-choo?!