The "And in other news..." thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by najaB, 28 May 2017.

  1. fowler9

    fowler9 Established Member

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    I don't know where she was from but it would help if she had better than pigeon English in court.
     
  2. AlterEgo

    AlterEgo Veteran Member

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    She might have been afraid of looking like a tit.
     
  3. fowler9

    fowler9 Established Member

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    As long as she can tell her story parrot fashion she will be OK.
     
  4. AlterEgo

    AlterEgo Veteran Member

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    Yes, I think her main objective will be to deny any fowl play.
     
  5. fowler9

    fowler9 Established Member

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    Birds eh. Blimey.
     
  6. DaleCooper

    DaleCooper Established Member

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    She won't do it again - once bittern, twice shy.
     
  7. fowler9

    fowler9 Established Member

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    Who knows. She could be outside court Puffin on a ciggy wondering what to do next.
     
  8. DaleCooper

    DaleCooper Established Member

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    ...or a pipeful of rough shag.
     
  9. DaleCooper

    DaleCooper Established Member

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    When asked why she took the bird to the railway station she said "I thought it was an emu".
     
  10. Cowley

    Cowley Established Member Associate Staff General Discussion

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    Maybe in court she'll say "Sorry mallard, I'd seen someone do something similar in a tweet once and thought it would be funny".
     
  11. deltic1989

    deltic1989 Established Member

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    I'm sure shes a very pheasant lady really.
     
  12. fowler9

    fowler9 Established Member

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    Always raven on about something or other though.
     
  13. DaleCooper

    DaleCooper Established Member

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    She claimed she was helping it cross the road at a pelican crossing.
     
  14. Tracked

    Tracked Member

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    She was tweeting about that earlier
     
  15. edwin_m

    edwin_m Veteran Member

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    I guess the legal eagles had their day in court.
     
  16. AlterEgo

    AlterEgo Veteran Member

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    We'll have to stop this now as the last two posts have been repeats of earlier puns, which is a bit hawkward. It's been emusing while it's lasted, some of the jokes were the best I'feather seen.
     
  17. DaleCooper

    DaleCooper Established Member

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    Before we move on to a new subject I'd just like to point out that she couldn't be charged with jaywalking.
     
  18. edwin_m

    edwin_m Veteran Member

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    And in other news, we learn in the context of a more controversial topic, that:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-40529770

    I suggest a "monument saturation zone" is well on the way to the "shoe event horizon".

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Places_in_The_Hitchhiker's_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Shoe_Event_Horizon
     
  19. DaleCooper

    DaleCooper Established Member

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    Man trapped in Texas cash machine sends 'help me' notes

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-40589631

    I always suspected there was a little man inside them.
     
  20. edwin_m

    edwin_m Veteran Member

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    Must be related to the man that got trapped in the fortune cookie factory.
     
  21. Cowley

    Cowley Established Member Associate Staff General Discussion

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    I got stuck in the toilet of a hotel I was painting once. There was no door handle and I somehow kicked the door stop away when I was painting the ceiling. There was nobody around and I had to phone another customer of mine who had a number for the guy that owned the hotel who then got hold of the builder who let me out.
    I was in there for half an hour, quite relaxing really.
     
  22. Trainfan344

    Trainfan344 Established Member

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    Couple knock themselves out attempting "that" dance from Dirty Dancing

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-40598537

     
  23. edwin_m

    edwin_m Veteran Member

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    That reminds me of when I was locked in the bathroom of the house I was about to move into, having closed the door without realising the decorator had removed the outside handle including the spindle that would allow the inside handle to operate the latch. Fortunately the spindle was in the room so I was able to pull the inside handle off, insert the spindle and use the remains of the handle to open the door.
     
  24. fowler9

    fowler9 Established Member

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    Southern using a 15 year old work experience lad to man their Twitter account.
     
  25. GusB

    GusB Established Member

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    "Oh dear, what can the matter be....?"
     
  26. 341o2

    341o2 Established Member

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    And that is the hend of these bird puns
     
  27. DaleCooper

    DaleCooper Established Member

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    No they've just moved to the "Random thoughts..." thread.
     
  28. Cowley

    Cowley Established Member Associate Staff General Discussion

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    Those puns do seem to get around.

    Talking of other news though. What do people think about the top earners of the BBC having their salaries published?
    Chris Evans is reportedly earning 2.2 million a year. I'd get up early for that.
    Jeremy Vine £750k a year etc.

    I love the BBC personally and I think the world would be a poorer place without it, although it does have its faults.
     
  29. DaleCooper

    DaleCooper Established Member

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    Not only does Chris Evans get £2.2M from the BBC he also makes a fortune as Captain America.
     
  30. Darandio

    Darandio Established Member

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