The funniest or most unusual thing you have ever seen or experienced on the railway?

[221101 Voyager]

The funniest thing I can remember was a little while back, I saw an LNWR 350 Desiro flying past Wolverton Platform 1, I was standing on P3 and as this train past on P1, I noticed an arm out of the guards window and as the train came past you could see he had nearly his entire arm pressed against the door, I presume to keep it shut? I've honestly never known anything like it!

 

[S&CLER]

Not particularly "funny" but certainly unusual, I saw a beached whale carcass from a dmu on the Cumbrian Coast line near Drigg about five or six years ago.

 

[pdeaves]

I was once on a train delayed by a boat on the line. It was in the Dawlish area (surprise, surprise!). As it was in the days when you could lean out of HST door windows, I was able to watch the train crew manhandle the thing over the wall to clear the track.

 

[306024]

Numerous Control log items have caused amusement over the years. One of the qualifications for working in Control was a wicked sense of humour.

Examples include:
A farmer on the Braintree branch threatening to set his muck spreader on staff doing nighttime rail replacement.
A driver climbing a signal post at Ilford to escape from a large Rottweiler. Was up there five minutes before the dog retreated.
The S&T team at Hockley who reported they were being shot at. Police attended in numbers to find a clay pigeon shoot in progress.
The couple who managed to lock themselves in the toilet and had to be rescued by the Liverpool St fitter.
And the favourite Cockle Shed on the track at Leigh-on-Sea during the great storm of 1987.

 

[Cowley]

A chap that was somewhat worse for wear sitting on the parapet of a viaduct on the Dartmouth steam railway a few years ago.
He clearly didn’t realise that the trains were running as he sat there smoking a big one and admiring the view. When he saw the train he stood up unsteadily, tottered his way to the end of the viaduct, stumbled down the bank and fell over the fence into the brambles.
As we slowly pulled away you could see his legs sticking up in the air still gently attempting to run...

 

[221101 Voyager]

I was once on a train delayed by a boat on the line. It was in the Dawlish area (surprise, surprise!). As it was in the days when you could lean out of HST door windows, I was able to watch the train crew manhandle the thing over the wall to clear the track.

A boat? Now I have heard it all!

Numerous Control log items have caused amusement over the years. One of the qualifications for working in Control was a wicked sense of humour.

Examples include:
A farmer on the Braintree branch threatening to set his muck spreader on staff doing nighttime rail replacement.
A driver climbing a signal post at Ilford to escape from a large Rottweiler. Was up there five minutes before the dog retreated.
The S&T team who reported they were being shot at. Police attended in numbers to find a clay pigeon shoot in progress.
The couple who managed to lock themselves in the toilet and had to be rescued by the Liverpool St fitter.
And the favourite Cockle Shed on the track at Leigh-on-Sea during the great storm of 1987.

Some great stories there!

A chap that was somewhat worse for wear sitting on the parapet of a viaduct on the Dartmouth steam railway a few years ago.
He clearly didn’t realise that the trains were running as he sat there smoking a big one and admiring the view. When he saw the train he stood up unsteadily, tottered his way to the end of the viaduct, stumbled down the bank and fell over the fence into the brambles.
As we slowly pulled away you could see his legs sticking up in the air still gently attempting to run...

That is genuinely hilarious.

 

[pdeaves]

A boat? Now I have heard it all!

Yes, admittedly not a cruise liner. More one of those things little bigger than a rowing boat. I shudder to think what damage was caused by being thrown onto the track, dragged around, heaved over a wall and landing below!

 

[Peter C]

A few years ago on the Severn Valley Railway - Bewdley I think it was - we ended up spending quite a while sat in the station whilst a member of train crew went looking for their keys which they'd dropped on the trackbed (I think - it was an odd occurrence I must admit)!

-Peter

 

[superalbs]

Isn't there a website that contains the sort of things the OP is after? Would be great if anyone can remember what it is.

 

[yorksrob]

I'll never forget the old Navy chap on a Virgin XC Mk2 who had obviously been on the rum for a while and was going up and down the carriage speaking to everyone generally being a bit of a nuisance.

At around Leamington Spa, the train screeched to a halt and the staff came striding through. It emerged that the said gentlemen had ended up, upside down in the loo when the train had gone over some points and needed rescuing.

 

[221101 Voyager]

I'll never forget the old Navy chap on a Virgin XC Mk2 who had obviously been on the rum for a while and was going up and down the carriage speaking to everyone generally being a bit of a nuisance.

At around Leamington Spa, the train screeched to a halt and the staff came striding through. It emerged that the said gentlemen had ended up, upside down in the loo when the train had gone over some points and needed rescuing.

!

 

[hexagon789]

I'll never forget the old Navy chap on a Virgin XC Mk2 who had obviously been on the rum for a while and was going up and down the carriage speaking to everyone generally being a bit of a nuisance.

At around Leamington Spa, the train screeched to a halt and the staff came striding through. It emerged that the said gentlemen had ended up, upside down in the loo when the train had gone over some points and needed rescuing.

What with his head down the pan? Lol

 

[yorksrob]

What with his head down the pan? Lol

Could have been

I could only pick up some of what the worried sounding staff were saying !

 

[hexagon789]

Could have been

I could only pick up some of what the worried sounding staff were saying !

Fair enough, I thought you'd maybe seen it first hand!

 

[221101 Voyager]

Fair enough, I thought you'd maybe seen it first hand!

Speaking of toilet business, I was going home one Saturday night on a Desiro and there must have been a football match on, as there was loads and loads of rowdy angry males throghout the train who had clearly had a little to drink, some a bit too much perhaps.

It wasn't a nice environment to be in and the worst bit was yet to come.

I was walking down the train to the nearest toilet, it was one of those PRM round shape ones and I pressed the button to open it, as it didn't say it was engaged and if it was then the door should've been locked.

In short, it wasn't. Some half drunk muppet had forgot to press the lock button and I got the almighty fright of seeing a drunk middle age guy sitting on the loo! Safe to say, I averted my gaze immediately and quickly moved to the next unit to try and find another toilet!

What is it with people getting so drunk they can't perform basic functions like pressing a lock button, eh?

 

[306024]

Here’s a few more East Anglia stories. Controllers used to like reporting these as incursions prefixed by the appropriate animal.

Feline incursion. Tilbury Riverside signalman reported a 30 minute delay to the 04.30 to Upminster due to a cat walking across the panel and jamming the buttons. (Or signalman asleep for the more cynical).
Bovine incursion. A cow gained access to the track somewhere near Whitlingham Jn and walked to Norwich station. Hard to believe unless you saw the picture of it arriving in platform 6.
Porcine incursion. Pigs on a farm near Norwich on the Ely route formed an escape party which took nearly an hour to round up.
Zoological incursion. An emu and a llama escaped from a farm near Shepreth. Local police were involved in recapturing the llama from 01.19 to 03.20, but the emu escaped. No delays occurred.

Not East Anglia, but remember a hunt galloping across a railway with no thought to the consequences. A vulpine, canine and equine incursion all in one

 

[221101 Voyager]

Here’s a few more East Anglia stories. Controllers used to like reporting these as incursions prefixed by the appropriate animal.

Feline incursion. Tilbury Riverside signalman reported a 30 minute delay to the 04.30 to Upminster due to a cat walking across the panel and jamming the buttons. (Or signalman asleep for the more cynical).
Bovine incursion. A cow gained access to the track somewhere near Whitlingham Jn and walked to Norwich station. Hard to believe unless you saw the picture of it arriving in platform 6.
Porcine incursion. Pigs on a farm near Norwich on the Ely route formed an escape party which took nearly an hour to round up.
Zoological incursion. An emu and a llama escaped from a farm near Shepreth. Local police were involved in recapturing the llama from 01.19 to 03.20, but the emu escaped. No delays occurred.

Not East Anglia, but remember a hunt galloping across a railway with no thought to the consequences. A vulpine, canine and equine incursion all in one

Crikey, and to think most people wouldn't even know things like this occur!


I was sent this image of a cat on top of a Pendolino at Euston recently, it made me laugh as I had to do a double take to check I wasn’t seeing imaginary things!

 

[yorksrob]

Fair enough, I thought you'd maybe seen it first hand!

Well, I witnessed the affair unfolding !

 

[hexagon789]

Speaking of toilet business, I was going home one Saturday night on a Desiro and there must have been a football match on, as there was loads and loads of rowdy angry males throghout the train who had clearly had a little to drink, some a bit too much perhaps.

It wasn't a nice environment to be in and the worst bit was yet to come.

I was walking down the train to the nearest toilet, it was one of those PRM round shape ones and I pressed the button to open it, as it didn't say it was engaged and if it was then the door should've been locked.

In short, it wasn't. Some half drunk muppet had forgot to press the lock button and I got the almighty fright of seeing a drunk middle age guy sitting on the loo! Safe to say, I averted my gaze immediately and quickly moved to the next unit to try and find another toilet!

What is it with people getting so drunk they can't perform basic functions like pressing a lock button, eh?

I suppose at least they found the toilet in the first place, small mercies and all that

 

[hexagon789]

Well, I witnessed the affair unfolding !

I still can't get my head round how they ended up upside down, head down the pan or not I don't think that's a particularly easy thing to do in the small confines of a train lavatory

 

[221101 Voyager]

I suppose at least they found the toilet in the first place, small mercies and all that

Haha, true that!

 

[yorksrob]

I still can't get my head round how they ended up upside down, head down the pan or not I don't think that's a particularly easy thing to do in the small confines of a train lavatory

The staff could have been using dramatic license in him being "upside down", however he had definitely taken a tumble.

 

[_toommm_]

What is it with people getting so drunk they can't perform basic functions like pressing a lock button, eh?

Sober people can’t use them. The amount of people you see flailing round doing 360 degrees after 360 degrees trying to find the close button, then when they do, they fail to see the lock button below it.

 

[Cowley]

This is one that I’ve cut and pasted from a trip report I did about an all line rover back in the day...

7/8/1994

What I remember about this journey was that a very large and very loud lady was sat with some friends at a table of four in my coach and we’d all spent what seemed like hours listening to her boring and incredibly loud stories as her friends talked more and more quietly (in that way that people do when they're trying to encourage their companion to lower the volume without actually saying anything). When some guy on a table behind me eventually snapped, stood up and told her that nobody else in the carriage could give a damn about her ridiculous self obsessed life and would she kindly shut the hell up..? At which point everyone else in the carriage broke into spontaneous applause and I’ve got to say, it was excellent.
I could still hear the lady saying "Well really!” (slightly more quietly now) to her friends for at least half an hour afterwards...

 

[2192]

How did they get the cat on the pendelino down in the end?

 

[hexagon789]

Haha, true that!

The staff could have been using dramatic license in him being "upside down", however he had definitely taken a tumble.

I think I prefer the staff's version though

 

[PG]

How did they get the cat on the pendelino down in the end?

BBC News reported:

The stand-off came to an end after a bin was pulled up beside the carriage, giving the moggy its own special disembarkation platform.

 

[30907]

Yes, admittedly not a cruise liner. More one of those things little bigger than a rowing boat. I shudder to think what damage was caused....

Another yacht hit a signal on the down at Starcross only a few days ago and bent it enough to foul the line.

 

[galwhv69]

https://twitter.com/Se_Railway/status/1042352763064274944

 

[pdeaves]

https://twitter.com/Se_Railway/status/1042352763064274944

which says "SERVICE UPDATE: the 10:49 Bromley South - Victoria was late departing Bromley south due to the driver becoming locked in the on board toilet. This train 5 minutes late. Sorry for the delay caused"