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The Missus/The Wife

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westv

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Does it grate with anybody else when people say the above rather than "my wife" or her name? Saying "the" always makes me think of someone saying "the cat", "the dog" or "the car" or similar.
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say "The husband" or "The Mr".
 
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172007

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I refer to her by her name.

I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
 

FrodshamJnct

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Does it grate with anybody else when people say the above rather than "my wife" or her name? Saying "the" always makes me think of someone saying "the cat", "the dog" or "the car" or similar.
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say "The husband" or "The Mr".

I’ve heard plenty of women say, “My fella”.
 

Sad Sprinter

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Does it grate with anybody else when people say the above rather than "my wife" or her name? Saying "the" always makes me think of someone saying "the cat", "the dog" or "the car" or similar.
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say "The husband" or "The Mr".

It's a term on endearment isn't it? "Well, I better be getting back to The Missues"
 

westv

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I refer to her by her name.

I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
Although there might be occasion when you might have to mention your wife/husband before the person you are talking to knows their name so "my" is ok in that instance.
 

eastwestdivide

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If I see "Misses" it looks to me like the plural of Miss. "The Mrs" was more often spelt "Missus" surely

I refer to her by her name.

I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
But people say "my home town" without denoting ownership.
 

birchesgreen

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I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
Is this a wind-up?
 

Busaholic

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'The other half' is the phrase I despise, spoken by both sexes. I'm very tempted to ask 'is that the half who stores the brains?', but maybe that explains why I've lived with a broken nose for decades. Married continuously since the 1960s by the way, with no parole granted.
 

gg1

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I refer to her by her name.

I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
Okay, I'll bite.

When you mention your wife in conversation with a 3rd party, what phrase do you use so that person knows you're not talking about mother, daughter, sister etc?
 

swt_passenger

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Mrs. started out as an abbreviation of Mistress.

The spelling “missus“ is an attempt to write Mrs the way we say it - personally I don’t consider it a real word. I’ll get grief for that, but whatever…

But “Misses” as in the title is still the plural of “Miss”, isn’t it?
 

172007

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Your wife, whom you always refer to by name??

Yes, and why would I in this instance by mentioning name make myself identifiable on this forum. I work in the industry and the social media policies are constantly changing as to what is acceptable and what isn't.
 

pdeaves

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But “Misses” as in the title is still the plural of “Miss”, isn’t it?
Yes, The Misses Smith refers to several Miss Smiths (in practice nowadays likely only used to refer to a group of elderly spinster sisters, if even then).

In terms of 'the wife', I find it impersonal. I have challenged a colleague several times 'does she have a name?'. I don't mind 'my wife', as that implies you are 'her husband'; it's a two way relationship.
 

AlterEgo

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Yes, and why would I in this instance by mentioning name make myself identifiable on this forum. I work in the industry and the social media policies are constantly changing as to what is acceptable and what isn't.
So it’s alright for you to refer to her as your possession online when you’re anonymous? I can’t quite believe anyone who says “my wife” is treating them as their property. Aren’t you her husband?

What about your home town? Or your religion? Do you own those too?
 

eastwestdivide

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'The other half' is the phrase I despise...
I use 'my other half' occasionally, with the intention of denoting 'the other half of the partnership that I'm in'.
No implied ownership by the use of 'my', and a useful if colloquial way to describe the other person in a long-term but unmarried partnership.
Other times I'll use 'my partner' but that can be somewhat ambiguous (business partner, partner at a law firm?).

Someone once suggested 'my worthy adversary' but that's just too comic/twee.

Bit of a minefield this language lark.
 

GusB

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How can "my wife" be misogynistic when it's a term that same-sex couples use as well?

Using "the missus" is just an informal way of saying "my wife" and I really don't see a problem with it. It's how you describe your relationship to someone; should we ban the use of "my mum" or "my granda" because they also imply ownership?
 

D365

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So it’s alright for you to refer to her as your possession online when you’re anonymous? I can’t quite believe anyone who says “my wife” is treating them as their property. Aren’t you her husband?
Who else’s wife is she?
 

Geezertronic

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This thread and comment #3 in particular reminds me of last weeks laughable "Ladies and Gentlemen" thread where people seem to want to get offended over everything. As someone who is regularly introduced by my wife as "my husband" or "my hubby", this is really a non-existent problem...
 

LOL The Irony

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What are you supposed to call your wife when speaking to people who don't personally know her then?
Using "the missus" is just an informal way of saying "my wife" and I really don't see a problem with it. It's how you describe your relationship to someone; should we ban the use of "my mum" or "my granda" because they also imply ownership?
Pretty much this.
 

Mojo

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Does it grate with anybody else when people say the above rather than "my wife" or her name? Saying "the" always makes me think of someone saying "the cat", "the dog" or "the car" or similar.
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say "The husband" or "The Mr".
I always thought it was “missus” rather than “misses.”
 
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