• Our booking engine at tickets.railforums.co.uk (powered by TrainSplit) helps support the running of the forum with every ticket purchase! Find out more and ask any questions/give us feedback in this thread!

The Missus/The Wife

Status
Not open for further replies.

westv

Established Member
Joined
29 Mar 2013
Messages
4,201
Does it grate with anybody else when people say the above rather than "my wife" or her name? Saying "the" always makes me think of someone saying "the cat", "the dog" or "the car" or similar.
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say "The husband" or "The Mr".
 
Sponsor Post - registered members do not see these adverts; click here to register, or click here to log in
R

RailUK Forums

172007

Member
Joined
2 Jan 2021
Messages
724
Location
West Mids
I refer to her by her name.

I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
 

FrodshamJnct

Established Member
Joined
14 Apr 2019
Messages
3,407
Location
Cheshire
Does it grate with anybody else when people say the above rather than "my wife" or her name? Saying "the" always makes me think of someone saying "the cat", "the dog" or "the car" or similar.
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say "The husband" or "The Mr".

I’ve heard plenty of women say, “My fella”.
 

Sad Sprinter

Established Member
Joined
5 Jun 2017
Messages
1,800
Location
Way on down South London town
Does it grate with anybody else when people say the above rather than "my wife" or her name? Saying "the" always makes me think of someone saying "the cat", "the dog" or "the car" or similar.
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say "The husband" or "The Mr".

It's a term on endearment isn't it? "Well, I better be getting back to The Missues"
 

westv

Established Member
Joined
29 Mar 2013
Messages
4,201
I refer to her by her name.

I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
Although there might be occasion when you might have to mention your wife/husband before the person you are talking to knows their name so "my" is ok in that instance.
 

eastwestdivide

Established Member
Joined
17 Aug 2009
Messages
2,532
Location
S Yorks, usually
If I see "Misses" it looks to me like the plural of Miss. "The Mrs" was more often spelt "Missus" surely

I refer to her by her name.

I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
But people say "my home town" without denoting ownership.
 

birchesgreen

Established Member
Joined
16 Jun 2020
Messages
5,040
Location
Birmingham
I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
Is this a wind-up?
 

Busaholic

Veteran Member
Joined
7 Jun 2014
Messages
14,029
'The other half' is the phrase I despise, spoken by both sexes. I'm very tempted to ask 'is that the half who stores the brains?', but maybe that explains why I've lived with a broken nose for decades. Married continuously since the 1960s by the way, with no parole granted.
 

gg1

Established Member
Joined
2 Jun 2011
Messages
1,893
Location
Birmingham
I refer to her by her name.

I hate the term this is "my wife" as to me it is deeply misogynistic and suggests ownership or property. My wife is free to make her own decisions and live her own life without having to ask permission.
Okay, I'll bite.

When you mention your wife in conversation with a 3rd party, what phrase do you use so that person knows you're not talking about mother, daughter, sister etc?
 

swt_passenger

Veteran Member
Joined
7 Apr 2010
Messages
31,257
Mrs. started out as an abbreviation of Mistress.

The spelling “missus“ is an attempt to write Mrs the way we say it - personally I don’t consider it a real word. I’ll get grief for that, but whatever…

But “Misses” as in the title is still the plural of “Miss”, isn’t it?
 

172007

Member
Joined
2 Jan 2021
Messages
724
Location
West Mids
Your wife, whom you always refer to by name??

Yes, and why would I in this instance by mentioning name make myself identifiable on this forum. I work in the industry and the social media policies are constantly changing as to what is acceptable and what isn't.
 

pdeaves

Established Member
Joined
14 Sep 2014
Messages
5,632
Location
Gateway to the South West
But “Misses” as in the title is still the plural of “Miss”, isn’t it?
Yes, The Misses Smith refers to several Miss Smiths (in practice nowadays likely only used to refer to a group of elderly spinster sisters, if even then).

In terms of 'the wife', I find it impersonal. I have challenged a colleague several times 'does she have a name?'. I don't mind 'my wife', as that implies you are 'her husband'; it's a two way relationship.
 

AlterEgo

Veteran Member
Joined
30 Dec 2008
Messages
20,025
Location
No longer here
Yes, and why would I in this instance by mentioning name make myself identifiable on this forum. I work in the industry and the social media policies are constantly changing as to what is acceptable and what isn't.
So it’s alright for you to refer to her as your possession online when you’re anonymous? I can’t quite believe anyone who says “my wife” is treating them as their property. Aren’t you her husband?

What about your home town? Or your religion? Do you own those too?
 

eastwestdivide

Established Member
Joined
17 Aug 2009
Messages
2,532
Location
S Yorks, usually
'The other half' is the phrase I despise...
I use 'my other half' occasionally, with the intention of denoting 'the other half of the partnership that I'm in'.
No implied ownership by the use of 'my', and a useful if colloquial way to describe the other person in a long-term but unmarried partnership.
Other times I'll use 'my partner' but that can be somewhat ambiguous (business partner, partner at a law firm?).

Someone once suggested 'my worthy adversary' but that's just too comic/twee.

Bit of a minefield this language lark.
 

GusB

Established Member
Associate Staff
Buses & Coaches
Joined
9 Jul 2016
Messages
6,543
Location
Elginshire
How can "my wife" be misogynistic when it's a term that same-sex couples use as well?

Using "the missus" is just an informal way of saying "my wife" and I really don't see a problem with it. It's how you describe your relationship to someone; should we ban the use of "my mum" or "my granda" because they also imply ownership?
 

D365

Veteran Member
Joined
29 Jun 2012
Messages
11,396
So it’s alright for you to refer to her as your possession online when you’re anonymous? I can’t quite believe anyone who says “my wife” is treating them as their property. Aren’t you her husband?
Who else’s wife is she?
 

Geezertronic

Established Member
Joined
14 Apr 2009
Messages
4,089
Location
Birmingham
This thread and comment #3 in particular reminds me of last weeks laughable "Ladies and Gentlemen" thread where people seem to want to get offended over everything. As someone who is regularly introduced by my wife as "my husband" or "my hubby", this is really a non-existent problem...
 

LOL The Irony

On Moderation
Joined
29 Jul 2017
Messages
5,335
Location
Chinatown, New York
What are you supposed to call your wife when speaking to people who don't personally know her then?
Using "the missus" is just an informal way of saying "my wife" and I really don't see a problem with it. It's how you describe your relationship to someone; should we ban the use of "my mum" or "my granda" because they also imply ownership?
Pretty much this.
 

Mojo

Forum Staff
Staff Member
Administrator
Joined
7 Aug 2005
Messages
20,382
Location
0035
Does it grate with anybody else when people say the above rather than "my wife" or her name? Saying "the" always makes me think of someone saying "the cat", "the dog" or "the car" or similar.
I'm not sure I've ever heard someone say "The husband" or "The Mr".
I always thought it was “missus” rather than “misses.”
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Top