The most stupid question you have been asked

[island]

I imagine passengers are extra cautious these days about getting on the wrong train because of so many horror stories about penalty fares and conductors.

I did ask a guard if I was on the right train once after the reservations didn't download and my seat was marked available.

Were they standing by the 2 car stop marker board? Those things get mistaken for platform markers more often than you might think.

I don't think Orpington has a 2 car stop.

 

[craigwilson]

Well, today I've learned that buses in London have both CIS AND revenue inspections. Insanity. Thank you RailUK Forums. I almost want to get on one, just for the hell of it now. Will they recognise a travelcard on a BR ticket?

Only used Oyster on buses myself, but as long as it has the roundel and "Travelcard" on you should be fine I imagine

 

[Carps1000]

Some of the questions I have been asked in the past, I have had to ask the person to repeat and one was so stupid I just walked away shaking my head and I just had to get em to repeat it to make sure id heard correctly sighhhh

 

[island]

Only used Oyster on buses myself, but as long as it has the roundel and "Travelcard" on you should be fine I imagine

Can confirm this. And conversely, if "Travelcard" is not printed along the top of the ticket, perhaps due to a TVM printing it wrongly, then it will not be accepted.

 

[dk1]

Class . Do they issue you with a handbook of all these witty replies, or do you think them up in your own time?

26 just sprung to mind & said it. I walked away & tried to think he might have a point & we shoul then go AA, BB, CC etc. He was one of those sort that was never wrong.

 

[LCC106]

Passenger: Does this train go to Sheffield?
Guard: Yes.

(Nearly an hour later...)

Passenger: You didn't stop at Chapeltown.
Guard: That's because this is the express train.
Passenger: But I asked...
Guard: You asked if the train goes to Sheffield. It does.

*rolls eyes*

 

[EM2]

I'd forgotten this one.
'Do trains arrive here, or do they only depart?'
After a protracted question-and-answer session, it turned out that the question she needed an answer for was 'Do trains from Arlesey arrive here, or at King's Cross?'.

 

[Tomonthetrain]

My mom asked if the trains were running today when I told her yesterday there was no trains today

 

[Trog]

I was once asked by a keen young graduate who was reading a set of ballast minutes, for the first time...

"Whats in an MT wagon?"


(The ballast minutes were a local publication detailing the consists and times of the following weeks engineering trains. Jointly produced by the local Civil Engineer and Operating Department offices.)

 

[tec]

"Whats in an MT wagon?"

Answer.. nothing as it is emp tee.

I am not a graduate in railways, so I am probably wrong!

 

[Trog]

No you are right.

Other opens had notes against them such as Sand Gravel or Ballast.

For example a train might be listed thus.

Loco, 30ZBO (MT), 5ZBO(Gravel), BRO

 

[Tomonthetrain]

And the Brucey Bonus: "How do you sleep at night?"..

In a bed I would respond

 

[Michael.Y]

English passenger looks at the CIS : 1238 MAESTEG

Him: "Where does this train go?"
Me: "Maesteg, via Cardiff and Shrewsbury."
Him: "I want to go to Chester."
Me: "Yep, this one will get you there. It goes through Chester on the way."
Him: "Then why doesn't it say Chester?"
Me: "Because it doesn't end up at Chester, it only calls there on the way to Maesteg."
Him: "That's confusing. So where's this Moyes-tig place then?"
Me: "South Wales, north of Bridgend. This train reaches Cardiff just in time for the evening rush, so it carries on through as a commuter wagon."
Him: "Why don't you use the English word for it?"
Me: "There is no English word for Maesteg."
Him: "Er...."

(Of course, it translates loosely as Fairfield, but no-one I know calls it that, it would be like calling Porthcawl Soupgate. Heaven knows what he must have thought about 20 minutes later as we headed through LlanfairPG.)

 

[Ediswan]

Him: "Why don't you use the English word for it?"
Me: "There is no English word for Maesteg."

Yes there is, "Maysteg". Probably now out of use, but once the "approved" English spelling.

 

[NSE]

With regards to London buses accepting travelcards, they'll accept anything that looks like a ticket. I've had uni mates get on with day old rail tickets from Manchester Airport to London that don't include travelcards, some who just walk on without paying and some who fake touching their oyster in. This is especially apparent on night buses, that and I've rarely seen any form of inspector (although I'm sure it happens of course)

 

[jon0844]

I guess at night, drivers are instructed not to say or do anything but in the day they can call back people who pretend to touch in with their Oyster, or wave a ticket too quickly.

I've seen this quite a lot (showing just how many people obviously try it on) and the driver simply refuses to move until the person comes back and pays. If the person refuses to come forward, it doesn't take long for other passengers to help!

 

[Michael.Y]

Yes there is, "Maysteg". Probably now out of use, but once the "approved" English spelling.

Source?

I don't think even that would have assuaged him!

 

[aspierail]

When i was working at Paddington station for First Great Western as a Customer Service Assistant a passenger asked me can i get the Heathrow Express to Southall.

 

[quarella]

Not stupid questions but ones that required careful answering.
Which is the next train to... or Which train will go first when you have a delayed fast service and a stopper which may or may not be held just outside the station.

Also some poor planning. The last train in one direction was 2230. The penultimate service was at 2211 for one timetable. Then it was changed to 2212. We all breathed a sigh of relief and I expect the taxi bill was reduced when it was changed to 2213.

 

[Michael.Y]

This is why I'm glad I finish work, at the latest, at twenty one forty.

 

[O L Leigh]

Passenger: Does this train go to Sheffield?
Guard: Yes.

(Nearly an hour later...)

Passenger: You didn't stop at Chapeltown.
Guard: That's because this is the express train.
Passenger: But I asked...
Guard: You asked if the train goes to Sheffield. It does.

*rolls eyes*

I try to neutralise this by asking them in return "Which station are you travelling to?"

Mind you, even that can backfire. I once had a lady ask me which train was for Cheshunt. I asked her if that was the station she wanted and got her to confirm it a second time before directing her towards a Cambridge train. She then said to me "So it stops at Southbury, yeah?"

I demanded why she never said that when I asked her before sending her towards the CORRECT train.

O L Leigh

 

[6Gman]

Yes there is, "Maysteg". Probably now out of use, but once the "approved" English spelling.

maes tege issa 1543 Maesteg ycha 1647 Maesteg uchaf 1813

Of course, it could have been named Y Llwyni 1773

That would have thrown him!

 

[hairyhandedfool]

This morning a passenger arrived on the station at the same time as a train pulled in, they looked at it, then read a notice I had put out, which stated that a normal service was running, turned to me and asked "Are the trains running today?".

 

[Roverman]

LOL-ing at all of these. You really do wonder how these people remember to breath sometimes!

We've just had a brilliant one

"Why were you not open on Tuesday?"

 

[island]

Not stupid questions but ones that required careful answering.
Which is the next train to... or Which train will go first when you have a delayed fast service and a stopper which may or may not be held just outside the station.

Also some poor planning. The last train in one direction was 2230. The penultimate service was at 2211 for one timetable. Then it was changed to 2212. We all breathed a sigh of relief and I expect the taxi bill was reduced when it was changed to 2213.

Due to mishearing of 13 as 30?

 

[Lewisham2221]

Due to mishearing of 13 as 30?

I expect more due to people turning up at Twenty to Eleven (2240) or Twenty to Twelve (2340) after being told the times verbally.

 

[PR1Berske]

Yes there is, "Maysteg". Probably now out of use, but once the "approved" English spelling.

That spelling doesn't exist. You've either been duped or very imaginative.

 

[starrymarkb]

Telephone enquiry yesterday... "My Phone doesn't work very well, can you come look at it?" - I suggested they call a phone engineer.

 

[Gwenllian2001]

That spelling doesn't exist. You've either been duped or very imaginative.

I've never come across 'Maysteg' anywhere. Perhaps it was a typo somewhere. Oh, by the way; Maesteg translates as Fair Meadow not Fair Field. There is a subtle difference, just the same as there is in English.

 

[quarella]

LOL-ing at all of these. You really do wonder how these people remember to breath sometimes!

We've just had a brilliant one

"Why were you not open on Tuesday?"

Just reminded me of the one Boxing day I worked on NRES. Had to break into the station to reach the office.

The number of calls that started "Oh! I didn't expect anyone to be there today."

Quote:
Originally Posted by island View Post
Due to mishearing of 13 as 30?
I expect more due to people turning up at Twenty to Eleven (2240) or Twenty to Twelve (2340) after being told the times verbally.

2240 and 2340 is the correct assumption.