Top Gear's "The Stig" Jokes

[VTPreston_Tez]

If this will murder the bandwidth, then we know what needs to be done.

So, here's where we can make "The Stig" jokes Feel free to make the first one, I have no good jokes.

 

[150222]

Some say he has a phobia of Beardy Branson, and that he thinks that class 185's are EMU's.

 

[CC 72100]

Some say that he likes voyagers, and that if he had to choose the winner of the GW franchise, he'd choose National Express
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That was probably a pretty poor attempt, surely someone else can do better

 

[Yew]

Some say that he can drive a HST at 250mph along a london to birmingham route he built in a day.. All we know is hes called the stig!

 

[VTPreston_Tez]

...and that he thinks that class 185's are EMU's.

Pfft. I'll get you back for that one mate!

Some say that when he travels with Preston Bus, they arrive on time.

 

[Ivo]

Remember this? (Note that one of the three presenters is now banned, but interestingly the other two are viewing this thread at this very moment.)

Using the name of XCStig, this is one I did in that thread:

Some say... that he thinks the City of Cork would fit inside a bottle of champagne. And that, if you look carefully, his left pupil has the exact same shape as Dr Beeching's head. All we know is, he's called XCStig!

 

[AlterEgo]

This is almost as bad as Chuck Norris references...

 

[EM2]

I'm still rather proud of this one:
Some say...that he knows the NFM and the Routing Guide off by heart. And...that only he truly knows if it's safe to use a one-piece ramp from a 142 if you travel to Guide Bridge from Piccadilly. All we know, is he's called XCStig!

 

[Heinz57]

Some say that to unlock him, you need 334 differant keys. And that he too was recently refused entry into argentina. All we know is, he's called The Stig!

 

[deltic1989]

Some say...... That he only knows two facts about Pacers......And both of them are wrong....All we know is he's called The Stig!!!!
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This is almost as bad as Chuck Norris references...

That can be arranged.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

The stig was told he was overweight and had to go on a diet; afterwards he was so thin that he was known as the Stig Insect.

 

[VTPreston_Tez]

Some say that when he bolds text, it turns out itallic.
Some say that he rode a Spanish Class 323.
Some say that his helmet grew a beard.
All we know, he's called MattE2010! The Stig!

 

[Lrd]

Some say that when he bolds text, it turns out itallic.
Some say that he rode a Spanish Class 323.
Some say that his helmet grew a beard.
All we know, he's called MattE2010! The Stig!

Oh dear.

 

[VTPreston_Tez]

It was coming.

 

[Tomonthetrain]

Some say that he drove a class 139 at 50mph
Some say that he rode a pacer to Carfiff
Some say that he worships Voyagers!
All we know, he's called The Stig!

 

[185]

Some say...... he's in ASLEF

 

[deltic1989]

Some say his overalls got a sun tan.

 

[Badger]

Some say he infiltrated the government and explicitely ordered Voyagers to be four cars, and that given the chance he'd reopen the Killin line... as High Speed 3.

 

[SS4]

Some say that he built the New York metro single-handedly, and that he once ate all the buffet food. All we know is he's not the Stig, he's the Stig's American cousin

 

[Drsatan]

Some say that he built the railway to Tibet in a day, and that he made Chuck Norris cry. All we know is that he's the Stig's chinese cousin!

 

[Crimson_Quiff]

Some say he was strapped into 37411 on the Cardiff Valleys for a whole 3 days and others say he was seen unmasked behind D6700 on the NYMR!

All we know is...He's not The Stig, but he is The Stig's Tractor-bashing Cousin!

 

[Peter Mugridge]

( I'm surprised nobody has made any Roald Dahl related jokes yet! )

 

[150222]

Some say, he rode the train all the way to Bourneville in an attempt to find Charlie's chocolate factory , and that he claims to be responsible for all delays on the Circle line. All we know is he's called David Cameron The Stig.

 

[Heinz57]

Some say that he's the one who let the dogs out. And if he would have fell out with the X-Factor judges he wouldn't have ran off to America for a week. All we know is, he's called The Stig!


Some say that his favorite flavour meat ball is crocodile. And that he comes flat-packed. All we know is, he's not The Stig... But he is The Stigs Sweedish cousin!

 

[Lrd]

Some say that his favorite flavour meat ball is crocodile. And that he comes flat-packed. All we know is, he's not The Stig... But he is The Stigs Sweedish cousin!

I like that one

 

[SwindonPkwy]

Some say that he thinks HS2 should run between Settle and Carlisle, and that if he was Mayor of London, the Piccadilly Line would actually run to Manchester Piccadilly. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

 

[Michael.Y]

Some say that he actually has odd-shaped balls, and that if he was given a horse by the police, he'd send it back and ask for a zebra.

 

[Badger]

Some say he once ran aground while on board a Costa Coffee, and that his bid for the WCML involves a fleet replacement with 9 car pacers.

 

[Tomonthetrain]

Some say he drives for diamond bus
Some think he's a WWE wrestler
But all we know is...he's The Stig, and he's AWESOME

 

[VTPreston_Tez]

( I'm surprised nobody has made any Roald Dahl related jokes yet! )

oi. I descend from Roald Dahl so watch your mouth! :P

Some say he owns a 4-car Pendolino with still-activated headphones.
Some say he attached a rocket to a HST...and blew up half of Lancaster with it after it derailed.