Deltic-hauled 442s with CrossCountry branding would be commonplace. These would operate on a 6tph basis from Mallaig via Glasgow Crossrail, Dumfries, the Settle & Carlisle, Clitheroe, Manchester (where a 68 would take over), Leeds (where the Deltic would return), Pontefract Baghill, York (then back to TransPennine 68 haulage), back to Manchester, then over to Nottingham (which has to be CrossCountry), Crewe, Norton Bridge, Birmingham New Street, Birmingham International, Northampton, then on to Wellingborough, then Peterborough, Shippea Hill, Berney Arms, East Suffolk, Stratford, HS1, Ashford International, then Tonbridge, Reading, Kensington Olympia, East Croydon and Brighton.
All trains would be 'ram-packed' with people arguing about Jeremy Corbyn. There would be no loos (on account of people worrying about them becoming like those horrid Voyager ones), and all humour would be ranked longside smoking as illicit. A squadron of RailUK enforcers would deal with any worker doubting the validity of a Carnet Ticket, while one-time users who have made 'genuine mistakes' are kept in custody at the Upper Crust in Euston station and sneered at for a week.