I'd like a French Letter please
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UK Euphemisms
- Thread starter PG
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I'd like a French Letter please
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DaleCooper
Established Member
Off topic but: Brothel is an anagram of BR Hotel. Is there something we were never told?
Going back a bit further, in WW2 days "Gone for a Burton" meant the airman had unfortunately died in action and was now being measured for a {wooden} overcoat.
He's round the bend - relates to the fact he is now detained in a mental hospital.{Old Victorian Asylums were built beyond a bend in the drive, so people passing by on the main road were blissfully unaware of the unfortunates detained there}.
And from the Civil Service:-
Gardening Leave - offered to someone who had made a major blunder but her/his sacking would cause embarrassment.
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PG
Established Member
Going like a train = accomplishing everything easily and quickly
Members of this forum will no doubt be able to offer some alternative definitions
Members of this forum will no doubt be able to offer some alternative definitions
Bletchleyite
Veteran Member
Gardening leave is used for lots of purposes, including when you're making people redundant (with no misconduct at all) and don't want them to have the option of talking to other staff deriding what the company is doing or sabotaging their work. Indeed, "suspended on full pay" (which is basically the same thing) is more usually a precursor to being sacked for misconduct.
Also as a way of fulfilling a contractual notice period when having the person actually at work could be detrimental due to then no longer giving a [redacted]. Back on topic...
That's one possible direction... (of a suggestion) - there is no way we are doing that.
That certainty is innovative... - don't be so stupid
Digressing afresh 
-- wondering is prompted, as to whether the expression "gardening leave" is also in vogue among the clergy: for an occasion when a person in Holy Orders is suspended from their role, for seriously erring in one way or another. Specially appropriate on this scene, perhaps, what with Adam and Eve discovering sin and having to leave the Garden...
-- wondering is prompted, as to whether the expression "gardening leave" is also in vogue among the clergy: for an occasion when a person in Holy Orders is suspended from their role, for seriously erring in one way or another. Specially appropriate on this scene, perhaps, what with Adam and Eve discovering sin and having to leave the Garden...Enthusiast
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Or one who "bowls from the gasworks end" (coined, I think, by actor Ray Winstone).
61653 HTAFC
Veteran Member
"Uphill Gardener" was a silly one, quite possibly only coined because it makes no sense and thus sounds ridiculous... but nobody told the man who decided to launch a gardening business in a suburb of Weston Super Mare!
"Barnsley* Shower": When one has woken up late and must resort to a quick spray of deodorant under each arm rather than a proper wash. *= Other regional variations available.
It makes rather good sense to me -- perhaps I have an unusually filthy mind?
(My bolding immediately above) -- My brother, who spent a number of year working in the Emirates, uses "Arab Shower" to mean the same thing. (He has a great love for the Arab peoples and lands and their culture, but that love is not totally uncritical.)
Springs Branch
Established Member
"He doesn't really follow football" is another sporting reference with a similar connotation.
However I've only seen this used in connection with Viz magazine, so maybe a phrase not used outside a five mile radius of Bigg Market.
TheGrandWazoo
Veteran Member
Indeed it has many use. I had 12 weeks of tending the rockery after I submitted my resignation to move to a perceived competitor.
One that was used in the past about closeted gay men in their obituaries was “They never married “.
PG
Established Member
Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted = taking action after the event which the action, had it been done earlier, might well have prevented
PG
Established Member
It's like riding a bike = a skill which once mastered will not be forgotten
PG
Established Member
One from the magical world of marketing:
Terms and Conditions apply = pretty much everything we've just said/written is about as likely as seeing a one legged man riding a unicycle
Terms and Conditions apply = pretty much everything we've just said/written is about as likely as seeing a one legged man riding a unicycle
Busaholic
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'With respect' = 'I think you're a total plonker who speaks unadulterated garbage but I'll pretend to take account of what you say'. An old favourite of politicians, both in the Commons and in the TV studios.
Bletchleyite
Veteran Member
The Right Honourable Gentleman - the f*****g idiot.
Bletchleyite
Veteran Member
There are variants, one that springs to mind is that any medical advert in Germany comes with "Zu Risikungen und Nebenwirkungen lesen Sie die Packungsbeilage oder fragen Sie Ihren Arzt oder Apotheker" - for risks and side effects read the leaflet or ask your doctor or pharmacist.
Is that for prescription medications? I thought only the USA and New Zealand allowed adverts for prescription medications.
Springs Branch
Established Member
I remembered one more euphemism on my commute to work on Friday morning, when I needed to make an urgent diversion to find a lavatory because I'd been..... Taken Short.
Scotrail314209
Established Member
Well Done: You've broken it/messed it up, thanks.
Tom B
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"On the ****" - not in drunk terms, but used to describe something that's not straight ("that picture's on the ****")
"On the make" - trying to gain something in mildly illicit ways (more of a Trotters application than serious fraud)
"I can neither confirm nor deny that / I couldn't possibly comment" - usually from someone in authority who is bound by company policy and can't agree with you
A couple seen on ebay adverts -
"Would make for a brave restoration project" - you'd have to be completely nuts, have deep pockets and a welder to even consider it
"MoT due next week but will fly through" - it'll fail spectacularly which is why I haven't presented it for test
"On the make" - trying to gain something in mildly illicit ways (more of a Trotters application than serious fraud)
"I can neither confirm nor deny that / I couldn't possibly comment" - usually from someone in authority who is bound by company policy and can't agree with you
A couple seen on ebay adverts -
"Would make for a brave restoration project" - you'd have to be completely nuts, have deep pockets and a welder to even consider it
"MoT due next week but will fly through" - it'll fail spectacularly which is why I haven't presented it for test
Bletchleyite
Veteran Member
No, over the counter.
PG
Established Member
One careful lady owner = I bought it last week in the pub car park off a guy I don't know
More recently, expressed as "economical with the actualité" by Alan Clark in the early 1990's when 'admitting' his role in the Matrix Churchill affair.
Also rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic - whatever you do won't make a blind bit of difference.
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