UK Euphemisms

[Zamracene749]

Drain the main vein, shake hands with my best friend, syphon the python, leak the lizard, go for a run off, make room for another(pint of beer), go for a slash, off for a widdle, point at the porcelain, going for a leak - some of the many phrases used by gentlemen to refer to visiting the toilet. Oddly enough, 'taking the P***' absolutely does not mean the same thing!

 

[Cowley]

To get things back on topic and since we've mentioned rants how about this:
Thrown the toys out of the pram = Has had a tantrum.

Spat the dummy out is another good one.

 

[GusB]

Drain the main vein, shake hands with my best friend, syphon the python, leak the lizard, go for a run off, make room for another(pint of beer), go for a slash, off for a widdle, point at the porcelain, going for a leak - some of the many phrases used by gentlemen to refer to visiting the toilet. Oddly enough, 'taking the P***' absolutely does not mean the same thing!

"Ah'm awa' for a single" (fish)

Probably just a north-east Scotland expression, but it means the same thing.

 

[Meerkat]

Pray to the porcelain god
On the porcelain phone to Jesus
For those head in pan moments.....

 

[DaleCooper]

Drain the main vein, shake hands with my best friend, syphon the python, leak the lizard, go for a run off, make room for another(pint of beer), go for a slash, off for a widdle, point at the porcelain, going for a leak - some of the many phrases used by gentlemen to refer to visiting the toilet. Oddly enough, 'taking the P***' absolutely does not mean the same thing!

Why don't we see you in Cryptic Clues any more?

There's also:
Strain the potatoes
Shake hands with the unemployed
The somewhat whimsical "I'm going to turn my bike around"

 

[Bletchleyite]

"Ah'm awa' for a single" (fish)

Probably just a north-east Scotland expression, but it means the same thing.

Probably only works in Scotland due to the word "p*sh" only being used there.

 

[DaleCooper]

pash pesh pish posh push

Probably only works in Scotland due to the word "p*sh" only being used there.

What is "p*sh"? Is it pash, pesh, pish, posh or push?

 

[najaB]

pash pesh pish posh push


What is "p*sh"? Is it pash, pesh, pish, posh or push?

Pish. As in "He was so pished that he slept on a bench in the park"

 

[Bletchleyite]

Pish. As in "He was so pished that he slept on a bench in the park"

Although (I didn't think swearing was allowed on here) it's more pronounced "pash".

 

[DaleCooper]

Pish. As in "He was so pished that he slept on a bench in the park"

It was a rhetorical question.

 

[DaleCooper]

Although (I didn't think swearing was allowed on here) it's more pronounced "pash".

Proscribed words are automatically censored which I find offensive but rules are rules. You can write Scunthorpe or Derwentwater but not ****terton, Dorset.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Proscribed words are automatically censored which I find offensive but rules are rules. You can write Scunthorpe or Derwentwater but not ****terton, Dorset.

I've got the ST&G "Marvellous Map of British Place Names" above the bog, so when I go for, er, a pish, I can read them. I keep finding new ones. Definitely recommended!

(There's something about swearing in a Scottish accent that makes it sound less offensive than an English one. Can anyone take offence at Billy Connolly?)

 

[DaleCooper]

I've got the ST&G "Marvellous Map of British Place Names" above the bog, so when I go for, er, a pish, I can read them. I keep finding new ones. Definitely recommended!

I can recommend Potty, Fartwell & Knob by Russell Ash a 250 page book of real names taken from, parish registers, censuses and records of births, marriages and deaths. Names such as Dick Rubber, Fanny Cockup and Willy Leak plus many others which would be victims of the automatic censor. It casts a new light on our attitude to certain arrangements of letters.

 

[gg1]

I can recommend Potty, Fartwell & Knob by Russell Ash a 250 page book of real names taken from, parish registers, censuses and records of births, marriages and deaths. Names such as Dick Rubber, Fanny Cockup and Willy Leak plus many others which would be victims of the automatic censor. It casts a new light on our attitude to certain arrangements of letters.

 

[DaleCooper]

No wonder he's smiling although it must be hard for him at times.

 

[gg1]

No wonder he's smiling although it must be hard for him at times.

 

[philjo]

Drain the main vein, shake hands with my best friend, syphon the python, leak the lizard, go for a run off, make room for another(pint of beer), go for a slash, off for a widdle, point at the porcelain, going for a leak - some of the many phrases used by gentlemen to refer to visiting the toilet. Oddly enough, 'taking the P***' absolutely does not mean the same thing!

Another one that a friend frequently used was "Go and see a man about a dog"

 

[PG]

I'm assuming we use a number two simply because it rhymes with poo?

 

[najaB]

I'm assuming we use a number two simply because it rhymes with poo?

I heard it had to do with the difference in cost between a stand-up and sitting visit to paid-for toilets. Most likely apocryphal.

 

[DaleCooper]

I'm assuming we use a number two simply because it rhymes with poo?

I heard it had to do with the difference in cost between a stand-up and sitting visit to paid-for toilets. Most likely apocryphal.

Surely it's simply No.1 - urination, No.2 - defaecation. Just be thankful there isn't a No.3.

 

[PG]

Maybe a No.3 is what men caught short do at the side of the road... up against a tree!

 

[DaleCooper]

Maybe a No.3 is what men caught short do at the side of the road... up against a tree!

No, that's just No.1 al fresco.

 

[DarloRich]

Maybe a No.3 is what men caught short do at the side of the road... up against a tree!

No, that's just No.1 al fresco.

Surely a number 3 is what certain men get up to with other men in public toilets.

 

[DaleCooper]

Surely a number 3 is what certain men get up to with other men in public toilets.

I assume you mean conversing about football or the weather.

 

[DarloRich]

I assume you mean conversing about football or the weather.

yes officer, we were merely discussing the benefits of a flat back 4 versus a more fluid 3 man based defense..............

 

[Meerkat]

I assume you mean conversing about football or the weather.

I assumed he meant studiously not talking to each other and trying not to snigger at farts

 

[DaleCooper]

I assumed he meant studiously not talking to each other and trying not to snigger at farts

Which reminded of this (it also includes a mention of No.2):

 

[d9009alycidon]

I wonder if he has met Fanny Chmelar

 

[krus_aragon]

I'm assuming we use a number two simply because it rhymes with poo?

Curiously, I first encountered that term in the American film Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, and didn't work out what it meant until years later.

 

[superjohn]

“You’re looking well” = “You have lost a huge amount of weight”
Especially when spoken between women.