Uxbridge English Dictionary

In trying to follow a (vague) fruit & veg theme:

Watermelon - Oaf

Marrow - What I fire from M'bow

Pomegranate - Give me a glass of magma

Mushroom - Husky's kennel

 

Brexit: Being sick after your first meal of the day.

 

Concordant: Supersonic travel for insects

 

Thermostat - low quality flask

 

Fornicate - the act of reducing soap production budgets by halving headcount.

 

Proficient - angling competition for academics

Ukip - a down-market hotel chain

Predicate - a feline prize-winner

directory - an honest politician [possibly also oxymoronic!]

en-suite - a dessert listed on the menu and still available

taffeta - a Greek cheese favoured by Welshmen

 

And in reply (though not necessarily referring to you):

Directory - Welshman in a clergy house.

 

A fatal condition that makes it difficult to close the coffin lid?

 

Pharmacy - agricultural view

 

Defence - De wooden stuff you put round de garden.

 

that's an oldie - but still funny - as in

"Mr President, what is your policy regarding defence?"

"Defence...well, de man wid' de nails am comin' ta fix it"

 

Debate - what is put on de hook to attract de fish.
Define - what you get for travelling on de train without a ticket.
Detest - see if it works.
Debar - where you get de drinks.
Depict - ancient tribe member.
Design - it points de way

Collier - like a collie but more so.

 

Taffrail - found in a Welsh pub

 

Efficiency - a fish no longer out of water

 

Hitchcock - a film director's jockstrap

 

Loafing - Item on the ground
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Antwerp - Term of abuse, used by Dec.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Joculate - Tardy Scotsman

 

rectangular
A drunken fisherman

validate
A night out with Jeeves.

whimsical
Like a detective novel by Dorothy L Sayers

basilica
Famous vehicle in Fawlty Towers.

accessible
Plan to visit wife of proprietor of above.

brontosaurus
Gift shop at Howarth Parsonage Museum.

 

Bradford (as pronounced by locals):
A method of sending unruly children across a river.
Wakefield : The post-surgery recovery area of a cottage hospital, OR an outdoor memorial service.
Dewsbury : A Semitic funeral.

 

Contents - Imitation camping equipment

 

sycophancy
A desire for simple food.

 

Biological - The life history of Mr Spock

 

Chiltern - your turn to sleep in the freezer

 

Catholic - a lover of kittens

 

Bananarama - fruit-based chainmail

 

I like that

 

Culture - a high-brow carrion eater