What are your worst workplace cockups...?

[dgl]

I may or may not have done that to a headteacher's printer on a last day of school.

The page count was somewhat higher. In fact it was several times the capacity of all the printers in the school put together.

Bear in mind this is a number of years ago, when school IT was a little less sophisticated (I presume it's better now, anyway).

That reminds me of being at college where they charged you per page (2p?). The only problem is that it was originally not implemented all that well and all the software that charged you did was pause the print job until you clicked on the pop-up window for the charging software (which gave you the option to accept or cancel). The problem was is that we could still access the print queue from the printer icon that popped up in the task bar, and therefore un-pause the print job. When printing had completed you just cancelled the pop-up window and did not get charged!

As for worst workplace cockups I have not had any that dramatic mainly stupid things like, tripping the electric when testing to see if something that has been brought back that a guest claims is broken, not just killing the back area of our overgrown shed but the accommodation managers office and her now essential computer as well.
Also overwriting PAT records when forgetting to use 'save as' on the previous days one that I used as a template (luckily having printed off the previous days first), or once smashing the window on a caravan when the roll cage that I had a pressure washer in decided to roll down a small bank and into a window.

 

[alxndr]

That reminds me of being at college where they charged you per page (2p?). The only problem is that it was originally not implemented all that well and all the software that charged you did was pause the print job until you clicked on the pop-up window for the charging software (which gave you the option to accept or cancel). The problem was is that we could still access the print queue from the printer icon that popped up in the task bar, and therefore un-pause the print job. When printing had completed you just cancelled the pop-up window and did not get charged!

My college didn't even bother to do that. They brought it in an issued everyone with £5 of credit. Only, once you ran out you could just go to the library and they'd credit you another £5 for free. Not sure if anyone ever paid for anything, although they did have a machine for putting it money on the card in the hallway.

 

[ian1944]

My final job was teaching in a local authority college. After one frustrating class I came back to the staffroom and said of one of the students, "(forename) Williams seems to have nothing between the ears, including a personality". Said my colleague (different forename) Williams, "yes, he's always been like that". Unknown to me, they were father and son - major embarrassment, the only good thing was that since, I've been more careful about broadcasting my opinions in public.

 

[Cowley]

My final job was teaching in a local authority college. After one frustrating class I came back to the staffroom and said of one of the students, "(forename) Williams seems to have nothing between the ears, including a personality". Said my colleague (different forename) Williams, "yes, he's always been like that". Unknown to me, they were father and son - major embarrassment, the only good thing was that since, I've been more careful about broadcasting my opinions in public.

Hahaha. “Yes, he’s always been like that”.
Excellent

 

[Alex 2901]

The one that tops mine was having to act as a shuttle, taking some donated clothes between the store I worked at, and the one across the road & tram tracks...

Anyway, I was given a full capacity shopping trolley full of clothes, that overall felt like it weighed a ton, and had to push it down a ramp, then across a road, and up an incline, and as I got it down the ramp, I overcooked the turn and went down the ramp leading into a subway, with the trolley now taking me with it! Getting it back up the hill took a lot longer than going down it, I can tell you!

 

[kermit]

All I'm saying is, never never never go to a residential work training event, go to the bar in the evening, notice that a female colleague from another town has gained a little weight, and in contrast to yourself, is sticking to soft drinks, then emboldened by conviviality and mild inebriation, congratulate her on her forthcoming event. Just. Never. Do. That.

 

[ChiefPlanner]

Derailed 08661 all wheels at Ipswich doing a slightly dodgy move , sent a 2.5 metre wide container to Cardiff (causing the Severn Tunnel to be checked !) - a few other minor ones ....(put hand up to all - noting more than a severe bollocking)

 

[Tom B]

The thing about over ordering has happened to me a few times - RS have some bulk products which you must order by the unit - e.g. rather than say you want 1 pack of to fuses, you must order a quantity of 50 fuses. It varies between products and there's plenty of opportunity for mistakes. Luckily, it's always happened with consumable items, so no problems other than a bulging store cupboard.

This wasn't at work, but at home, servicing a car. I'd been at it for a few hours, I changed the oil, put new spark plugs in, set the points, timing etc etc, time came to do the valve clearances before lunch. This involves adjusting a nut until a certain gap is acheived, which sets the position of an inlet/exhaust valve. One was quite closed up, so I figured that the nut needed a fair amount of turning to open it up. Whilst doing so I got a phone call which distracted me from what I was doing, then returned to the car in the belief that I'd adjusted the clearance and it was ready to go. Just wanted to start it up and run for a bit before going for lunch.
Did I check the clearance again first? Did I turn the engine over by hand? Nope, I turned the starter motor. >CLUNK<. I'd wound the adjuster, already close, the wrong way and caused a valve to hit a piston. Almost as soon as I'd done it, I realised what I'd done. We'll say I was more than a little annoyed at myself after that, and my credit card winces at the memory.

 

[Tom B]

This one wasn't me, but I witnessed it. Years ago, I was upgrading PC hardware in a school over the summer holidays. We were installing kit in classrooms all over the (largeish) site, and towards the end of the summer holidays it was time to tidy up ready for the teachers and students returning. So we went through each room and checked the kit, signed it off, then took the rubbish/packaging and loaded it onto the back of a tractor-trailer (normally used for mowing the playing fields) This took most of the morning and it was a considerable amount of rubbish. The groundsman took one look at it and, whilst we were all at lunch, decided to have a bonfire, piling the cardboard boxes up on the field and setting light to it. Unfortunately he neglected to check whether there was polystyrene inside the boxes... a local resident called the fire brigade, who showed up and were more than a little unimpressed... .

I have a few more, but they are all a bit too recent to post on a public forum!

 

[LowLevel]

Not really my mistake but I once travelled back from a trip to a pub by train with some friends passing through my local station. Unfortunately for my one of my mates (himself a railway supervisor) decided it was a fine time to demonstrate the car park barrier boom could be swung across at a right angle to provide passage in case of failure (beer makes you do odd things). He clipped it back in on being told to stop being daft and that was that.

I half noticed a cable tie on the ground and thought nothing of it as I walked along the nearby footpath.

A day or two later I was asked to pop in and see the area station manager who showed me some CCTV footage of me with my mate on the station and asked me to confirm it was me which I agreed it was.

It turned out the broken cable tie I had noted was provided because the boom hadn't aged well and no longer clipped into the arm properly. My mate without thinking had broken it off.

When the first car entered the car park next day it promptly came loose, swung out and smacked another car adjacent much to the consternation of everyone present and the supervisor who had spent quite some time watching the CCTV back to find out what had happened.

Muggins was the identifiable one despite it not being my fault and I was given a stern reminder to make sure my friends behaved to avoid guilt by association while travelling with them and happily nothing more was said.

 

[Cowley]

Not really my mistake but I once travelled back from a trip to a pub by train with some friends passing through my local station. Unfortunately for my one of my mates (himself a railway supervisor) decided it was a fine time to demonstrate the car park barrier boom could be swung across at a right angle to provide passage in case of failure (beer makes you do odd things). He clipped it back in on being told to stop being daft and that was that.

I half noticed a cable tie on the ground and thought nothing of it as I walked along the nearby footpath.

A day or two later I was asked to pop in and see the area station manager who showed me some CCTV footage of me with my mate on the station and asked me to confirm it was me which I agreed it was.

It turned out the broken cable tie I had noted was provided because the boom hadn't aged well and no longer clipped into the arm properly. My mate without thinking had broken it off.

When the first car entered the car park next day it promptly came loose, swung out and smacked another car adjacent much to the consternation of everyone present and the supervisor who had spent quite some time watching the CCTV back to find out what had happened.

Muggins was the identifiable one despite it not being my fault and I was given a stern reminder to make sure my friends behaved to avoid guilt by association while travelling with them and happily nothing more was said.

That was a good one.

 

[341o2]

This didn't happen to me.
Builders came to erect a squash court. They placed their cement mixer on site and proceeded to build. Nearby office workers could see it coming, that when the job was done and they started to clear up their tools...there was no door big enough to get the the cement mixer out. After looking puzzled for a while, they had to demolish a section of wall

This did happen to me
ECS Kings Cross to Holloway sidings. As the train was virtually in, I turned to pick up my bag apparently the locomotive slipped and the train hit the stops. Technically it did not derail as the impact sheared the fishplates to the stop and pushed it back, the rear bogie of the cct stayed on the now seperate stub. Was disciplined for not keeping a proper lookout

Did happen, not responsible
ECS Ferme Pk to KX. The pre electrification ECML had both air and vacuum stock, the 31's in respect of braking had vairiants - the most useful had dual brakes. Delay because loco sent with wrong braking system

 

[james60059]

Going back a while to 1999, when I worked for United Parcel Service in Nuneaton, I loaded 40 Gateway PC's for the Bury St. Edmunds Trailer when it was meant for the Swansea trailer. In my defence I had been there a couple of days and somehow, the postcode on the box was the same as the postcode range that was covered by the BSE Depot. Needless to say, I checked, and double-checked the address on each box thereafter .

 

[STEVIEBOY1]

I think it is odd sometimes, that one can do a massive cock up or error either at work or school and may either get away with it or only have a mild discipline or report etc, but for a small error you can get a major discipline or punishment.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

The thing about big expensive mistakes is, as someone once put it: "Why should we fire them when we have just spent half a million pounds training them?!"

 

[kevconnor]

I think it is odd sometimes, that one can do a massive cock up or error either at work or school and may either get away with it or only have a mild discipline or report etc, but for a small error you can get a major discipline or punishment.

It may have something to do with the old adage: Owe the bank a thousand they have you over a barrel, owe them a million and you have them over a barrel.

Same principles apply regarding how dispensable someone really is and where the real power lies.

 

[bussnapperwm]

Locked myself out of three different apps today, our system admin guy had morning off so had to wait for it to be enabled again, and then for the coup de grace broke the lock on the office door meaning to get out I had to go via the fire exit!!

 

[Cowley]

Sometime in about 1995 when I worked early or late shifts for the Exeter Health Authority I also did a bit of moonlighting - driving for my friends dad who distributed German car parts to various garages in the South West.
This particular day I was a little tired and was covering the East Devon run which took me to Lyme Regis and then back along the coast to Exmouth before heading back towards the office in Exeter.

The weekend before (and you must bear in mind that I was only about 21 years old when this happened) I’d been to Cornwall in my old VW van with a friend who’d said: “You’re such a great driver Nick. I always feel dead safe with you, even when you drive fast!”

I was just recalling with warm satisfaction this statement whilst edging the car up to 80mph down a dip on a B road when upon taking the corner on the rise I completely lost control of the car (a turbo diesel VW Passat estate). It rode up the hedge so that I started grinding along on the drivers door before rolling onto the roof and on its side before flipping onto its roof and sliding down the road upside down on the roof rails like it was on skis (for at least two years afterwards you could still see the marks in the road).
When it eventually stopped (and my god it’d been noisy. I mean ear shatteringly noisy), I realised that I was (apart from a slightly grazed knuckle and severely soiled underpants) miraculously unharmed. I unclipped the seatbelt and head butted the roof (the only bit of it that actually hurt really) before extricating myself through the window and surveying the wreckage of the car.

A farmer came over and said that I wasn’t the first person to do that on that corner, at which point I noticed the mud coming out of his gateway and all over the road, but also the bald nearside tyre on the car.
The police, ambulance and fire brigade then turned up and the traffic policemen wanted to do me for the bald tyre but luckily while I was sitting in the ambulance (having my underwear changed), John, my friends dad who was the main fireman (from Topsham my home town just down the road luckily enough) convinced the policeman that I was a decent enough lad and didn’t normally make a habit of this kind of thing. To let it go and save himself the paperwork.
Which thankfully he did.

I then had to face work though and in the full knowledge that there wasn’t one panel on the entire car that I hadn’t dented, had to walk into the office, before being sent home by Gary (a very red faced and angry boss).
It turned out that they’d taken the car off fully comprehensive insurance the week before and had put it onto third party only so that when I destroyed it, they not only had to pay the recovery company but they didn’t get anything back for the car at all, apart from one thing*

The next day I bravely went into the office after finishing my normal job and asked Gary if I was sacked. He said “Well. Seeing as you don’t actually work for me officially, then I can’t officially sack you can I? So these are your deliveries today...”
So he didn’t. But he gave me the spare vehicle which was absolutely awful. It was a twenty year old VW Derby (basically a really naff Polo with a boot), which had no radio, no heater, headrests and only four gears. People used to laugh at it when I was driving around.
Served me right though really.

* The next day when I came in my friend was sniggering at me and I glanced behind him to see that someone had pinned the numberplate from the Passat upside down and at a slight angle on the board behind the front desk...

 

[Cowley]

Just one more to add while we’re on this subject...
This one wasn’t done by me but it always makes me chuckle thinking about it.

One of my best friends has a business restoring old Volkswagen campers and Beetles etc.
His previous garage had a very steep slope up to the entrance and at a push you could get three vans into it - one to the side and two in a line with the rear end of the last just slightly sticking out of the door.
On this particular day, the last one he had in he was just finishing some work on, and the very last job on the list was to replace the tatty VW badge on the front with a nice shiny new crome one.
He started to push it on but it was a bit tight, so he pushed it a bit harder. Unfortunately for some reason he hadn’t put the handbrake on when he’d lowered the jack after doing the brakes and he watched in horror as the van shot out of the door backwards, down the steep slope, across the car park (thankfully missing a brand new Subaru Impreza by inches), and smashed into a building on the other side of the yard.

The rather excellent upshot of all this was that because he was the only decent specialist in the area he ended up doing the four thousand pounds worth of insurance repair work on it.

 

[fowler9]

Sometime in about 1995 when I worked early or late shifts for the Exeter Health Authority I also did a bit of moonlighting - driving for my friends dad who distributed German car parts to various garages in the South West.
This particular day I was a little tired and was covering the East Devon run which took me to Lyme Regis and then back along the coast to Exmouth before heading back towards the office in Exeter.

The weekend before (and you must bear in mind that I was only about 21 years old when this happened) I’d been to Cornwall in my old VW van with a friend who’d said: “You’re such a great driver Nick. I always feel dead safe with you, even when you drive fast!”

I was just recalling with warm satisfaction this statement whilst edging the car up to 80mph down a dip on a B road when upon taking the corner on the rise I completely lost control of the car (a turbo diesel VW Passat estate). It rode up the hedge so that I started grinding along on the drivers door before rolling onto the roof and on its side before flipping onto its roof and sliding down the road upside down on the roof rails like it was on skis (for at least two years afterwards you could still see the marks in the road).
When it eventually stopped (and my god it’d been noisy. I mean ear shatteringly noisy), I realised that I was (apart from a slightly grazed knuckle and severely soiled underpants) miraculously unharmed. I unclipped the seatbelt and head butted the roof (the only bit of it that actually hurt really) before extricating myself through the window and surveying the wreckage of the car.

A farmer came over and said that I wasn’t the first person to do that on that corner, at which point I noticed the mud coming out of his gateway and all over the road, but also the bald nearside tyre on the car.
The police, ambulance and fire brigade then turned up and the traffic policemen wanted to do me for the bald tyre but luckily while I was sitting in the ambulance (having my underwear changed), John, my friends dad who was the main fireman (from Topsham my home town just down the road luckily enough) convinced the policeman that I was a decent enough lad and didn’t normally make a habit of this kind of thing. To let it go and save himself the paperwork.
Which thankfully he did.

I then had to face work though and in the full knowledge that there wasn’t one panel on the entire car that I hadn’t dented, had to walk into the office, before being sent home by Gary (a very red faced and angry boss).
It turned out that they’d taken the car off fully comprehensive insurance the week before and had put it onto third party only so that when I destroyed it, they not only had to pay the recovery company but they didn’t get anything back for the car at all, apart from one thing*

The next day I bravely went into the office after finishing my normal job and asked Gary if I was sacked. He said “Well. Seeing as you don’t actually work for me officially, then I can’t officially sack you can I? So these are your deliveries today...”
So he didn’t. But he gave me the spare vehicle which was absolutely awful. It was a twenty year old VW Derby (basically a really naff Polo with a boot), which had no radio, no heater, headrests and only four gears. People used to laugh at it when I was driving around.
Served me right though really.

* The next day when I came in my friend was sniggering at me and I glanced behind him to see that someone had pinned the numberplate from the Passat upside down and at a slight angle on the board behind the front desk...

Ouch. A mate of mine had a Renault Laguna estate as a company car which he rolled in the Peaks. He got away with a few bruises. The worst thing that happened was when he got a grilling off the company director at the company Christmas do months later.

His previous company car was an Audi 200 Estate (I think) that was very nice which some kind soul set fire to outside his house in Leeds.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Not anything I was involved in, thankfully, but too good a story not to share:

Once upon a time there was an IT department which controlled a corporate network all by itself. Like all good IT departments, it kept a close eye on suspected viruses and other nasties. This meant that for testing and analytical purposes they had a sterile PC not connected to anything else apart from the electricity used to run it.

The only problem was, the sterile PC was absolutely identical to the one used to control the entire network, and they two were also right next to each other on the same desk.

I don't need to go on do I...?!

 

[BluePenguin]

Mine? Introducing myself in a client meeting “it’s nice to finally meet you” to a client I was later reminded I’d met several times, and exchanged emails with almost daily.

One of the many reasons why I joined the railway and no longer work in a “customer facing” role!

Keen to hear any others...

That must have been slightly awkward! Did it all end well? It is an easy mistake to make if you see lets of clients which you don't see very often.

 

[BluePenguin]

This makes me cringe even now.

When I first started painting and decorating for a living it’s probably fair to say that there were a few gaps in my knowledge...
I was working at a customers house and it had already been going quite badly (the lady of the house had been getting more and more worked up about the mess and confusion), a friend had plastered the bedroom I was working on but I had to finish it off and not knowing much about plastering, when I cleaned the buckets out I poured the waste into the bath.
When I realised that I’d completely blocked the pipes up with soggy plaster and the water wasn’t draining away I sat on the edge of the bath with my head in my hands (almost in tears) plucking up the courage to go downstairs and confess to the scary lady.

After being shouted at for a while I spent the rest of the day until 9pm dismantling the bath panelling and all the pipework under the bath plus the pipes that went through the walls to the outside drains etc. It was a Monday and I’d have achieved more if I’d stayed in bed.

I didn’t bill her for the extra time...

O dear. I have to ask, what is the right way to get rid of waste water from plastering?

 

[Cowley]

O dear. I have to ask, what is the right way to get rid of waste water from plastering?

Well ideally you could pour it into a rubble filled skip or something similar. It’s actually alright to chuck away in the garden really as the gypsum is alright for it and it doesn’t mess the Ph up.
I’ve learnt these things since...

 

[BluePenguin]

Working in housing on the phones I will often ask for someones husbands or wifes name to discover that their partner is of the same sex. I'll say I'm sorry (For being presumptuous) and they will say "I'm not". Also getting someones gender wrong because how deep (or not) their voice is. To be honest most people are sound about it, its just me who feels bad.

I previously worked in finance and accidentally agreed to write off a debt that was substantially bigger than I thought it was. No one ever found out or at least never questioned it. It was a big company I worked for and the debt was large.

Lol that is hilarious! Were few of them same sex couples?

 

[eastwestdivide]

O dear. I have to ask, what is the right way to get rid of waste water from plastering?

Not (as happened to us) pouring it into the carefully-tended front garden flower bed without so much as asking, turning the soil and all the flowers from all colours of the rainbow to mucky white, messing up the pH balance of the soil and stunting the growth of the plants. When I complained, he said "we're not allowed to pour it down the drains". Well how about asking me where first.
Same lot of builders managed to crack the toilet cistern while fixing the ceiling. If you're going to do that, don't just say "could you turn the water off" quietly to the householder, but add the word "now" or "quick!" to the sentence and make it more urgent, before you have another ceiling to fix downstairs this time.

 

[Bromley boy]

That must have been slightly awkward! Did it all end well? It is an easy mistake to make if you see lets of clients which you don't see very often.

They didn’t say anything but definitely noticed I’d said it.

The fact I’d met them before actually dawned on me during the same meeting, confirmed when a colleague reminded me afterwards.

Definitely a bit of a faux pas!

 

[james60059]

Had another one last night....

Loading a wagon on one of the bays, I forgot to engage the dock leveller - a big metal plate that links the loading & marshalling site to the back of the trailer - went over and bang.. Pallet of cheese gone over and forks of my truck in the gap .

Luckily it was retrieved and I was able to carry on loading with no damage

 

[STEVIEBOY1]

I just made an error this morning. Went to post a magazine to my best, although rather demanding, client and forgot to put a postage stamp on the large envelope. Checked to find out how much he will have to pay when he gets it. (About £ 5.00.) I called him & told him what I had done and that I would send him the excess fee. He said thanks for owning up and sending the fee. (Then I think, as a joke, he said perhaps I should write out an imposition/1000 lines too) I wonder what his reaction would be if I did that as a joke back☺)
Oh well these things happen. Not intentional of course. I was annoyed with myself though.

 

[The_Engineer]

As a young engineer I had to calculate the predicted cable usage for a particular contract, and produce a cable schedule. From this I produced an order against the schedule to the purchasing department, for 10% of the contract total of each cable. It was custom to then update the schedule after the first few sets of equipment had been produced to reflect actual usage and then order the outstanding quantities.

What took place in this event were two errors - mine and purchasing. On one (big and expensive) cable type I made a decimal point error and put 100 km total instead of 10 km total. Then purchasing went and ordered 100% quantity against the schedule instead of the 10%. The result was 90 km of very expensive cable sat in a warehouse for many years!

I ended up in front of the director to explain my error, which I owned up to. But then pointed out that if purchasing had followed procedure there would have been no excess..... I was told to be more careful where I put my decimal points in future, I never did discover what happened to my purchasing counterpart. But I was always very careful to double check any such estimates and "sanity check" any large value orders in future!