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What would be a fair amount to offer

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Harlesden

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A very good friend has offered to drive me from London to Leeds to pick up two family members and return to London.
Final destination is literally five minutes drive from J5 of the M621 so almost all of the drive will be on the motorway - M1 Start-J43 then M621.
The reason for the offer is the high early morning VTEC fares from Leeds to London (£76.50 Advance for 1 adult and 1 child) who will be returning to Leeds by train.
She has offered to do it for free - good friend - but I would like to pay for the petrol.
 
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ComUtoR

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She has offered to do it for free - good friend - but I would like to pay for the petrol.

Then let her do it for free. Good friends don't expect remuneration. That's why they are good friends.

Why not do something a good friend would do in return ? No doubt you would have the opportunity to reciprocate in the future and maybe you could buy them a thank you gift. Maybe dinner before the return trip.
 

tony_mac

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Did you mean £76.50 for both tickets?
If so, that's a 7-8 hour round trip just to save a fairly small amount. (plus possibly much longer depending on traffic in the morning)

It depends on the car, but absolute minimum ~£40; probably more likely £60. Plus spending money at the services ;)
 

507021

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I agree with Steve, if she's a good a friend as she sounds, then she definitely isn't doing it for the money. A small token of appreciation would be more than enough, I'm sure she'll appreciate something like a gift token (always useful), chocolate or maybe take her out for a coffee/lunch.
 

ComUtoR

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35 to the gallon? Good heavens what sort of car is that? My 1.9 turbodiesel Golf will do 45-48 with four people on board at a steady 70.

My Shaguar did around 35mpg My current vehicle does around the same and its only 2yrs old !!!
 

BestWestern

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How about a rather decent dinner midway through the trip?!

Would work for me :)
 

MichaelAMW

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I agree with Steve, if she's a good a friend as she sounds, then she definitely isn't doing it for the money. A small token of appreciation would be more than enough, I'm sure she'll appreciate something like a gift token (always useful), chocolate or maybe take her out for a coffee/lunch.

I disagree. I think there is a difference between her giving her time freely and her buying your petrol for you. You should repay the petrol costs in full and then add the token on top to express the appreciation. It's what I would expect, unless the person I was helping were rather hard up, in which case there's a different sort of generosity going on.

Is there a reason the journey needs to be early morning? Presumably, it won't be early morning by car if you need to drive there first.
 
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ComUtoR

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It's what I would expect

I have a couple of "good friends" I have never once asked for petrol money. Money rarely changes hands between us. The last meal out he paid for and the last cinema trip I paid for.

We are friends. If I asked for petrol money that would make me a taxi.
 

MichaelAMW

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I have a couple of "good friends" I have never once asked for petrol money. Money rarely changes hands between us. The last meal out he paid for and the last cinema trip I paid for.

We are friends. If I asked for petrol money that would make me a taxi.

But I meant the other way round. If *you* drive *them* then you are free to do what you like; I still think they should offer to pay the petrol. I too don't "charge" my friends by asking for petrol money but, other than when a pattern has been established, I still think it's right that the direct costs should be offered, whether I am the driver or the driven. You are being a taxi, I would say, as without your generosity that's what they would have to shell out for. Like you, I have specific "good friends" where specific arrangements and habits apply but that's not universally the case among my friends.

I think perhaps you are answering the question as to what the OP's friend should do whereas the OP has asked what they should do.
 

ComUtoR

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I think perhaps you are answering the question as to what the OP's friend should do whereas the OP has asked what they should do.

I already answered that. Offer dinner/thank you gift at the least.

As a good friend I would expect nothing in return when doing favours. If I was the driver and my good friend gave me money for petrol I think I would be offended.

Don't get me wrong, on some long trips I've done with mates they have often chipped in for petrol. I understand where you say about patterns being established and I have a few friends who would equally be horrified if they didn't chip in, as that is their way.

Those that are in my "good friend" bracket very different from "mates" those guys I wouldn't dream of making such an offer. Good friends I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Back at the OP. If they are a good friend then you should know what they would expect and the nature of your friendship. MichaelAMW makes a good point in that we all have differencing levels of friends.
 

507021

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As a good friend I would expect nothing in return when doing favours. If I was the driver and my good friend gave me money for petrol I think I would be offended.

Agreed. One example of this for me was when my girlfriend got stuck at Preston once when her train back to Scotland was cancelled, so I drove up there to pick her up and bring her back to Liverpool. She tried giving me money for the diesel I'd used, but I refused as I did it to help her out and save her having to pay for a hotel, which apart from that she was in an area she wasn't very familiar with. Instead after she insisted, I let her buy us a takeaway for dinner that evening.
 

Iskra

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I think you should cover the petrol money and give something as a thank you for them giving up their time. As a friend, I think it would be wrong for you to leave her out of pocket for doing you a favour.
 

MichaelAMW

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Agreed. One example of this for me was when my girlfriend got stuck at Preston once when her train back to Scotland was cancelled, so I drove up there to pick her up and bring her back to Liverpool. She tried giving me money for the diesel I'd used, but I refused as I did it to help her out and save her having to pay for a hotel, which apart from that she was in an area she wasn't very familiar with. Instead after she insisted, I let her buy us a takeaway for dinner that evening.

I must admit to a little chuckle at this one! Girlfriends are, of course, a category all of their own... I would say that most of my girlfriends over the years would have made the same offer yours did, the offer I said earlier should normally be made, but I can't think of a single case where I would have done myself any favour in accepting it!! Still, the takeaway compromise is a pleasant outcome for all concerned.
 
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