Railway and Dating Life

thetom22 · 25 Mar 2018

Can people who work on the railway (whether it be track maintenance, train driver, customer services assistant, etc.) still have a dating life?

I know that many people who join the railway are typically older than 30 and already have a partner and even a family. But for a single person who is looking for a relationship would it be do-able with a job that has such broad shift patterns?

RailUK Forums

ComUtoR · 25 Mar 2018

Totally.

4 day week, high salary, guaranteed holidays, bank holiday (rotation), free travel.

It can be hard because of the inflexibility and it does destroy relationships and shift work is a high cause of divorce etc but there really are some great advantages. I have found that many people split when they join but those who start relationships whilst on the railway tend to last as you are more upfront about the shift work from the beginning.

332 > 444 · 25 Mar 2018

Totally do-able, I was able to have a long distance relationship as I used to work a 6 on 4 off roster. Let them know from the start how it is. Even with the roster at my new TOC it's do-able to have a lot of free time.

red2005 · 25 Mar 2018

More than doable! It’s arguably easier than dating someone from outside the industry!

Try explaining to someone non railway how the shifts work etc and see how understanding they are etc.....

TheEdge · 25 Mar 2018

It can be done, of course.

However do have some free advice (from experience), "don't sh*t where you eat". Its not a no no but it can make life awkward.

321446 · 25 Mar 2018

Well, to be blunt, I’m beating them off with a stick.

Maybe it’s because I have a brand new car every month, continue to add to the tattoos weekly, get to show them off down the seven gyms I’m a member of, only ever drink soft drinks when out because I’ve slipped off early from Spare/Cover so the chicks know I’ll drive them home safely after. Take 6 foreign holidays a year and have an active Social Media profile so everyone knows how great I am.

Not sure how it is for people who are non drivers, but I manage.

Ianno87 · 25 Mar 2018

Can't comment on shift workers (I'm office based), but managing a work life balance is no more challenging in rail than any other industry.

In fact, compare to (say) some financial industries that seem to be a competition to see who can be seen in the office the earliest and latest...

SpringBaby · 25 Mar 2018

321446 said:
Well, to be blunt, I’m beating them off with a stick.

Maybe it’s because I have a brand new car every month, continue to add to the tattoos weekly, get to show them off down the seven gyms I’m a member of, only ever drink soft drinks when out because I’ve slipped off early from Spare/Cover so the chicks know I’ll drive them home safely after. Take 6 foreign holidays a year and have an active Social Media profile so everyone knows how great I am.

Not sure how it is for people who are non drivers, but I manage.

Well aren’t you humble!!

theironroad · 25 Mar 2018

An old hand driver once told a trainee driver that "if you joined the railway single, you'd likely stay single". I think this may have been more true years back when pay was lower and t and c s not so good, where it wasn't unheard of drivers working 12 HR days for 13 days.

With more time off it is probably easier, but still going to be times when it is a struggle, especially if both people do shift work and are on opposite shifts.

Not sure if 322446 is serious, but good luck to them if so, though why someone wants a new car every month is beyond me.

sarahj · 25 Mar 2018

It's possible, and I know a few who have. As long as your open, you will soon know with outsiders. OK, you miss many things that happen at weekends, but there are other bonus to being home at odd times. I also know a few who have met on the railway. Sometimes not easy when the male/ female split on the railway is not that great, but getting better. Still not many female drivers, but more than there was even 10 years ago. Mind, I also work at the most campiest depot in the country (or possibly the world), so other options are open here.

Mag_seven · 25 Mar 2018

ComUtoR said:
4 day week, high salary, guaranteed holidays, bank holiday (rotation), free travel.

If only that were true for all railway employees.

321446 · 25 Mar 2018

Very ‘eavy. Very ‘umble.

Knocks the chicks bandy

inthearea · 26 Mar 2018

I am going against everyone else here but dating is so hard now. Mainly because I work late shifts and also men are weird about a girls earning more than them. Find it easier to date people from similar work now as they tend to understand. Or maybe I am more picky now haha

MostlyHarmless · 26 Mar 2018

inthearea said:
I am going against everyone else here but dating is so hard now. Mainly because I work late shifts and also men are weird about a girls earning more than them. Find it easier to date people from similar work now as they tend to understand. Or maybe I am more picky now haha

I think working shifts affects the dating lives of a lot of people who work unsociable hours and they tend to date from within their own industries - I know a lot of police officers and cabin crew whose other halves do the same job.

Jose Manuel · 26 Mar 2018

why wouldn't it be? My partner is a nurse and to be honest that is one of the best things we could ever have.

We both have our own time, and we plan according to her rota. Not difficult at all.

Now, I don't know about both partners doing shifts. In our case, we have agreed if I were to become a driver, she would change her shifts. Less money for her, but more from me. It is all about commitment.

Economist · 26 Mar 2018

I've never been big on the clubbing/parting scene, quite a few of my hobbies are male-dominated, so it is possible to try the online scene. The only thing you do need to be prepared for is people being overwhelmed by choice (i.e. fickleness), loads of people with cat-ears or butterflies around their heads and lastly, crimes against good grammar. Some people are a bit lewd or nude but just report to mods if you aren't happy (less so on the more costly sites I believe).

Otherwise just get yourself out there and join various clubs and societies, most from what I've seen are fairly understanding when it comes to shifts.

332 > 444 · 26 Mar 2018

inthearea said:
I am going against everyone else here but dating is so hard now. Mainly because I work late shifts and also men are weird about a girls earning more than them. Find it easier to date people from similar work now as they tend to understand. Or maybe I am more picky now haha

I've no problems with a woman earning more than me, they can then buy me nice things like doughnuts and other belly busting stuff haha!

Crazyb · 26 Mar 2018

If you don't work your restdays, you will only work around 6 months a year. Thats in the drivers grade.

inthearea · 26 Mar 2018

332 > 444 said:
I've no problems with a woman earning more than me, they can then buy me nice things like doughnuts and other belly busting stuff haha!

Haha I buy my own belly busting stuff I deserve to be obese not a tiny size 6. Haha

But it's true it seems to be an issue. I dont mind I enjoy being single at the moment

ComUtoR · 26 Mar 2018

inthearea said:
Find it easier to date people from similar work now as they tend to understand. Or maybe I am more picky now haha

inthearea said:
(...) single at the moment

077...

axlecounter · 26 Mar 2018

Just like actors date with actors because it’s a very peculiar job, drivers date with drivers or guards!

Lem · 27 Mar 2018

I don’t see why they couldn’t. My then partner didn’t have a problem with my shift work when I started on the railway...found the nights a bit annoying when he’d be walking out the door as I was walking in but we made the most of our time off. I was dispatch then and my shifts weren’t as erractic. I’m now with another driver and he naturally understands!

Thedispatcher · 27 Mar 2018

It’s certainly possible. My good lady and I both work shifts and she lives 65 miles away but we still spend 75% of our time together. You get out what you put in really.

Spankthemonkey · 28 Mar 2018

321446 said:
Well, to be blunt, I’m beating them off with a stick.

Maybe it’s because I have a brand new car every month, continue to add to the tattoos weekly, get to show them off down the seven gyms I’m a member of, only ever drink soft drinks when out because I’ve slipped off early from Spare/Cover so the chicks know I’ll drive them home safely after. Take 6 foreign holidays a year and have an active Social Media profile so everyone knows how great I am.

Not sure how it is for people who are non drivers, but I manage.

When I first joined the railway I learned of the legend of "The Cambridge Swordsman". At first I thought this was just a branded toc service along the lines of the master cutler, flying scotsman etc, but it is apparently an East Anglian driver who, it would seem, fails to "beat them off with a stick".

Tyrion · 29 Mar 2018

thetom22 said:
Can people who work on the railway (whether it be track maintenance, train driver, customer services assistant, etc.) still have a dating life?

I know that many people who join the railway are typically older than 30 and already have a partner and even a family. But for a single person who is looking for a relationship would it be do-able with a job that has such broad shift patterns?

Thats why I am on the Railway mate, for the money and the chicks!!

axlecounter · 29 Mar 2018

And, should the chicks lack, the trains!

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