Being gay on the railways

martin2345uk · 22 Nov 2018

Sorry if this seems a weird thread… but it's been playing on my mind a bit, and a friend brought it up today which has made me want to ask the question.

So I am in the pool for a Freightliner trainee driver job. As an openly gay guy who has only ever worked in an office, for a pretty diverse company, I've never really experience direct prejudice against me for my sexuality.

I have genuinely no idea what the prevailing attitudes are towards this kind of thing on the railways, especially the freight sector, but I'm just a tiny bit worried about it, if I am totally honest, and just wondered if anyone here had any experience or thoughts either way...?

thanks... :oops:

RailUK Forums

Eccles1983 · 22 Nov 2018

What's openly gay?

I ask as I work with men and women who are gay, and it's never crossed my mind if they are open or closed about it. We have conversations as normal and sexuality isnt avoided or taboo.

Their is lots of LGBTQ on the railway - now if your asking if you will be discriminated against - possibly. Like any walk of life you may hear things you don't like, but I have never heard anything directed at a specific individual.

In my experience it's not an issue - but that said I am not LGBTQ.

How you do your job is of more interest than who you bump uglies with.

mmh · 22 Nov 2018

martin2345uk said:
Sorry if this seems a weird thread… but it's been playing on my mind a bit, and a friend brought it up today which has made me want to ask the question.

So I am in the pool for a Freightliner trainee driver job. As an openly gay guy who has only ever worked in an office, for a pretty diverse company, I've never really experience direct prejudice against me for my sexuality.

I have genuinely no idea what the prevailing attitudes are towards this kind of thing on the railways, especially the freight sector, but I'm just a tiny bit worried about it, if I am totally honest, and just wondered if anyone here had any experience or thoughts either way...?

thanks...

I don't work on the railway, but have a fair few friends and acquaintances who do. Of the 5 drivers (all at passenger TOCs) I know, one is openly gay, 3 of the others have never seemed to bat an eyelid at me being gay, 1 of them initially was a little off when I first met him (a friend of a friend) though is "fine" once he realised that I was "alright" - and that I didn't give a stuff what he thought.

Of the non-driver railway people I know, one - who's openly gay - is a train planner, another is a guard and the rest are handful of people who work for Network Rail. I've not worked with any of these people, but I've felt as comfortable - more, in most cases - not hiding my sexuality from them as I have in the variety of office jobs I've had.

I'm sure you'll be fine! Good luck with getting the job. (I went for it - with a passenger TOC - a few years ago and unfortunately blew it at a Driver Manager interview)

Lendog2012 · 22 Nov 2018

I can only call on my experience within the TOC I currently work for and we have lots of openly gay employees throughout all grades (Catering Staff, Drivers, Train Managers, Station Dispatchers, Union Leads, Officer Workers etc etc). I am lead to understand that we have a person who does not define their gender, recently start with us.
All part of the work force and is the "norm" (I use that term in a positive sense whereby someones sexuality is not a topic of discussion in the course of their duty etc)

I would hope the same throughout the Freight industry as well but no idea.

johnlh · 22 Nov 2018

It’s a shame that even in 2018 people still have to worry about stuff like this.

I’m not on the rails yet (hope to be soon) but I currently work for a massive organisation with quite a diverse group of people. Through the years I’ve worked on a lot of smaller departments which would traditionally be classed as ‘jobs for the boys’ but I’ve never witnessed and sort of prejudice towards anyone who is gay. Someone who I used to work with who is openly gay has just left to join a TOC as a driver.

In todays society employers have a duty of care for all staff as I’m sure you’re aware.

Try not to worry mate, I’m sure it will be fine.

martin2345uk · 22 Nov 2018

Thanks everyone (and thanks to those who have PM'd me

) this is all very encouraging to read.

And as to the question "What's openly gay" - just means I don't hide my sexuality if it comes up, eg if someone says, which they often do, something about my 'wife' or 'girlfriend', I just mention that actually it's my husband

Westcoast-ting · 22 Nov 2018

The railway is such a diverse place I doubt it would even raise an eyebrow.

My favourite moment was in a full mess room of people a colleague walks in see a straight driver who he always banters with and tells him he’s got a laminated picture of him in the shower. Cue the mess room erupting in fits of laughter.

I’ve Also worked with colleagues who never mentioned there sexuality.

The railway is a banter environment so if you think somebody over steps the mark just say and I’m sure thy would be mortified

The_Train · 22 Nov 2018

I really can't imagine you having any issues and you certainly shouldn't let it stop you from chasing this career path. As has been said you might come across someone who is not quite as accepting as society has become, but these people are having their voices drowned out now and most will either say nothing about it because they have no opinion or simply enjoy good hearty banter about it.....just make sure you give plenty back

Juliet Barvo · 22 Nov 2018

martin2345uk said:
Thanks everyone (and thanks to those who have PM'd me ) this is all very encouraging to read.

And as to the question "What's openly gay" - just means I don't hide my sexuality if it comes up, eg if someone says, which they often do, something about my 'wife' or 'girlfriend', I just mention that actually it's my husband

Hmmm.....

I've got the Husband at home, universally known as "the other half" to everyone in the office, whom everyone knows..... and then there's my best mate at work, Bromance, referred to as "the wife"... as in "sorry Boss, I can't do Overtime for that amount, the wife says she'll slap me herself if I do". Never do I say "actually"...

martin2345uk · 22 Nov 2018

OhMe said:
Hmmm.....

I've got the Husband at home, universally known as "the other half" to everyone in the office, whom everyone knows..... and then there's my best mate at work, Bromance, referred to as "the wife"... as in "sorry Boss, I can't do Overtime for that amount, the wife says she'll slap me herself if I do". Never do I say "actually"...

Haha, well that's a fairly specific situation!

My work bromance would murder me if I ever referred to him as the wife :lol:

Jonfun · 22 Nov 2018

Homophobic attitudes do still exist on the railway as in any walk of life, but it's very definitely in the minority. A load of us at our place went out over Manchester Pride with a few of the straight folks this year, that was fun. I think folk working on the trains are perhaps more open than office folk; I know I don't tend to talk as much about my private life in the office as I did when I worked on the front line. Not for any concern over homophobia though, I don't think people tend to talk much about their private lives in the office whatever their sexuality.

martin2345uk · 22 Nov 2018

Jonfun said:
Homophobic attitudes do still exist on the railway as in any walk of life, but it's very definitely in the minority. A load of us at our place went out over Manchester Pride with a few of the straight folks this year, that was fun. I think folk working on the trains are perhaps more open than office folk; I know I don't tend to talk as much about my private life in the office as I did when I worked on the front line. Not for any concern over homophobia though, I don't think people tend to talk much about their private lives in the office whatever their sexuality.

Yeah I am like that, I certainly don't talk about it unless I am directly asked, but if I am asked I like to be open about who I am

Jonfun · 22 Nov 2018

martin2345uk said:
Yeah I am like that, I certainly don't talk about it unless I am directly asked, but if I am asked I like to be open about who I am

I mean, if anyone's reeeealllly interested, they can just stalk my grindr profile... :lol:

Atishyou · 22 Nov 2018

Tbh, as long as you do a good job, don't expect others to do your work (like some people do) and are 'alright' (friendly, etc), it wouldn't bother me a jot.

Juliet Barvo · 22 Nov 2018

Just remember: you have a duty to be Brilliant at your Job, to be "alright", and to be known to be Gay. Because that promotes acceptance for all who come after us.

Trainguy90 · 22 Nov 2018

Not sure how things are around the whole company but freightliner has LGBT people working for it and pretty sure they are happy, also as a driver if you join the union youll be more than ok as they have their own LGBT representatation

Intermodal · 22 Nov 2018

I know more than a handful of gay staff - they don't seem to have any problems. One of them is senior management.

The_Train · 22 Nov 2018

Jonfun said:
Homophobic attitudes do still exist on the railway as in any walk of life, but it's very definitely in the minority. A load of us at our place went out over Manchester Pride with a few of the straight folks this year, that was fun. I think folk working on the trains are perhaps more open than office folk; I know I don't tend to talk as much about my private life in the office as I did when I worked on the front line. Not for any concern over homophobia though, I don't think people tend to talk much about their private lives in the office whatever their sexuality.

I've never really spoken about it in the office to be honest. In fact in my previous job I never told anyone nor gave any indication as to the fact that I'm gay as for some reason I never felt comfortable to do so. I can't say that approach did me any good and I certainly won't be repeating it in the future. I take the same approach as @martin2345uk now, in that if there is a need for me to mention it then I will but I don't enter every room broadcasting the fact.

NorvernRob · 22 Nov 2018

Hopefully it’s like any other big company these days and basically nobody cares apart from a few knuckle draggers. I currently work for Royal Mail, and I imagine the railways are quite similar in that they’re a very inclusive employer and you get people from all walks of life working together.

507021 · 22 Nov 2018

My friend who works for Northern (as a driver) is gay, she told me that none of her colleagues who know about her sexuality seemed bothered by it.

Ianno87 · 22 Nov 2018

In a decade, have come across very many openly gay colleagues, and can't think of an incident I would describe as even close to homophobic - not even 'banter'.

The world has changed, very much for the better.

You won't have a problem.

big all · 22 Nov 2018

my suggestion
just be yourself treat people with respect make them laugh if they dont like you its there problem
yes i know its easy to say and hard to do
i left the railway 25 years ago there was an openly gay driver at norwood from edinburgh my home town he was well liked
there was another driver at brighton in the 1990s who was such a nice bloke but never gave his sexuallity a thought why would you ??
any way even then in his sixties good luck to him came out and married his boyfreind or what ever equivillent ceremony was available remember this was just 25 years after it was a criminal offence to be gay so understanding and exceptence was a quite a bit less than now

martin2345uk · 22 Nov 2018

Yep deffo feeling reassured folks. Much appreciated. :wub:

CatfordCat · 22 Nov 2018

Eccles1983 said:
What's openly gay?

I ask as I work with men and women who are gay, and it's never crossed my mind if they are open or closed about it. We have conversations as normal and sexuality isnt avoided or taboo.

If they aren't open about it, you probably don't know they are gay...

185 · 22 Nov 2018

The railway is perhaps the most cosmopolitan workplace in the UK. Must remember that banter is everywhere and nothing should be taken seriously... always throw things back, ten times worse, shut them down, preferably leaving people speechless. Once got "bums against the walls lads" when I walked into a mess room, my retort was "yep...an' I'm that wall sweet cheeks, come 'ere!".... Look of horror on most of the ol duffers, whilst others were just screaming laughing.

Atishyou · 23 Nov 2018

185 said:
The railway is perhaps the most cosmopolitan workplace in the UK. Must remember that banter is everywhere and nothing should be taken seriously... always throw things back, ten times worse, shut them down, preferably leaving people speechless. Once got "bums against the walls lads" when I walked into a mess room, my retort was "yep...an' I'm that wall sweet cheeks, come 'ere!".... Look of horror on most of the ol duffers, whilst others were just screaming laughing.

Hahaha, cracking response!

Worldwide · 23 Nov 2018

Network Rail has a Group called archways with anyone working within the rail industry can join.

https://www.networkrail.co.uk/pride-in-our-people/

ST · 23 Nov 2018

A great thread and well raised. I think it is great there is so much support on the forum and in the Industry.

Can I ask whether the same warm welcoming environment applies to staff whom are Black and Minority Ethnic (BAME)? I presume it would? How diverse is the driver grade in Yorkshire in terms of females and BAME staff? I see ASLEF commissioned a report a while ago into the lack of diversity into the railways, has this helped?

Many thanks.

ST

ComUtoR · 23 Nov 2018

The railway is a rather large work environment. My depot has 100+ Drivers, Trainers, Managers, Platform staff, Enforcement staff, Admin staff etc etc. Just like society, it is now diverse and multicultural with a very wide cross section of views. There will always be a small group of people full of vitriol and hatred, there will be a group of open minded and accepting people, and there will be a group of the more traditional people.

It's a lot better than it used to be that's for sure. Just like society.

The_Train · 23 Nov 2018

ComUtoR said:
It's a lot better than it used to be that's for sure. Just like society.

This is the point I was going to make. Lots of people are like 'sheep' and will follow the trends of society. If society (or social groups) decides something is bad then people are more likely to show negativity towards it (even if they don't understand why they are being negative) and equally this works in the opposite direction. Even to the point of people who maybe held negative views about certain aspects of life in the past, changing those views as society becomes more accepting of things now.

Being gay on the railways

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