I can work with that...
He came from Parliament, the one in Westminster
Where the old world shadows hang heavy in the air
He packed his hopes and dreams like a fresh MP
Just as Theresa said "Transport Secretary"
He heard about a place no-one was smilin'
They spoke in a northern way, up in God's own land
And they came from either side of the Great Pennines
Seeking a place to stand on a train to Hyde
Down on the crowded trains they're losing time,
They can't wait to tell you all how it's great "Down South"
And they called it paradise, I don't know why
When Beeching laid the mountains low closing Woodhead's mouth
There'd been a chilly wind of change across the Pennines
From the dockyards of the east to the river Ouse
'Cause the orange people they would bring their power
To light their neon way and give them EMUs
Then that man came and seized the plans, nobody saw them
Delayed a bunch of infrastructure and hoped that we'd forgot 'em
And he called it paradise, the place to be,
They watched delays galore on platform thirteen
You can leave it all behind said Serco and Abellio
Just like the visionaries did so many years ago
They even brought a purple sign 'New Trains are Coming'
Brought the whole timetable down, kept the old-time trains
Who will provide the grand design, what is yours and what is mine?
'Cause there is no more help from 'DfT, we have got to make it here
We'll satisfy our transport needs in spite of all their bloody deeds
In the name of destiny and in the name of God
And you can see them there on Sunday mornings
Stand up and moan about why there aren't no trains
They called it paradise, I don't know why
You want Grayling's paradise, kiss it goodbye