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Trivia: unwritten etiquette as a railway passenger

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Ediswan

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You would and at that age it wouldn’t bother me so much but as my youngest is 3 and copying every new word she hears I’d rather wait a few years before she asks “Daddy what’s a f****** c***?”
I can distinctly recall wondering what "Living off immoral earnings" meant (Stephen Ward). I would have been 2.
 

Gloster

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That nobody at Euston ticket office will sell me a ticket for this mythical train called the “Pizza Express” I’ve heard so much about

You really don’t want this: you might find yourself sitting next to Prince Andrew.

I can distinctly recall wondering what "Living off immoral earnings" meant (Stephen Ward). I would have been 2.

True. The first name I ever learnt was ‘Chrissie Keeler.’
 

YorksLad12

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Seen a few occasions where a single person sitting on a table of 4 has been forced out, once by a group of girls asking him directly to move and another time a rowdy hen group surrounded the guy until he left.
I was in First once, and had somehow been booked on a four-table by myself. Four ladies boarded; three took the seats around me, the other sat across the aisle. I offered to swap with her so that the four friends could sit together. Underneath this gruff, surly, northern exterior beats the heart of a gentleman. A gentleman who was hoping to pull...

Also: if you're used to travelling on the Underground and no other sort of heavy rail, don't stand near the doors when you arrive at your station. The doors will not open automatically, and everyone queued up behind you will think you're Little Lord Fauntleroy waiting for someone to press a button for him.
 
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Etiquette:
Basically how to act in a civil manner in public, how to engage with others in social situations, without causing embarrassment to others. forgot to mention those middle-class children who have cultivated trendy "drop the 'aitches" , "glottal stop" , Estuary English accents.
  1. The practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority
  2. Conventional requirement or custom in regard to social behavior or observance; prescriptive usage, especially in polite society or for ceremonial intercourse; propriety of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion; good manners; polite behavior.
Are you seeking to legitimise your prejudices about accents by trying to conceal them within an otherwise valid definition of etiquette?
 

owidoe

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On a full train if a woman is old enough to be your mother or a man is old enough to be your grandfather you offer them your seat.

(I have reached an age where the former is rare and the latter vistually impossible, but ...)

Clearly if a person of any age has a visible disability you do so.
I can't imagine what I'd do at the age of 37 if 12-year-olds started offering me their seat! When I'm of an age where I'm so infirm that I can't stand on a train, I'll ask for a seat, not demand that one be vacated for me like I'm a dictator.
 

zin92

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On a cold day, closing the door behind you as you enter or leave the train rather than letting it close automatically a while later.
 

185143

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If you have your luggage on the seat next to you and there are no other empty seats, remove it.

Don't manspread.
We're always told that luggage should go in the racks ect, but if there's as many passengers as carriages, then my bag is going next to me. I'm likely to want stuff out of it during the journey.

Obviously as the train fills up, that's different.
 

SussexSeagull

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We're always told that luggage should go in the racks ect, but if there's as many passengers as carriages, then my bag is going next to me. I'm likely to want stuff out of it during the journey.

Obviously as the train fills up, that's different.
If there are empty seats for people to sit on then fair enough.
 

Springs Branch

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One of my pet peeves from pre-pandemic commuting days is people who travel by train, alight with everyone else at the terminus, get right up to the station gateline - and only then realize they need to come to a dead stop, rummage in their handbag, pocket, or worst of all their backpack, to find their ticket or smartcard in order to get through.

To be fair, my observations suggest this is not as common in the busiest part of the peak (presumably mostly regular, daily commuters here), but worst in shoulder peak times, when trains are still busy but it's more likely that 'ladies of a certain age' will be off for an outing in town, or a dopey-looking student is wandering reluctantly into college engrossed in their phone.

My maximum annoyance, however, is reserved for bus travel (there are multiple gates at the station). In this case little old ladies will be waiting five minutes or more for the bus to arrive, insist they get on first, then realise they need to find their smartcard pass inside their purse, somewhere in their handbag - all the time blocking the validator and preventing everyone behind them tapping on.

Top Tip: You know you're getting on a bus - find your bloody ticket whilst you're waiting for it to arrive!
 

bramling

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Am I the only one who finds this whole thread a massive advert for car travel?

Thinking back to the 90s, I simply don’t recall rail travel being this much aggro. Did people really behave better then, or is it rose-tinted spectacles?

Covid seems to have made things even worse, lots of people with experience of dealing with the public say they find people much more feral now compared to 2019. Months of not interacting with strangers, and possibly in some cases not having to confirm to the behavioural standards required of working in a communal office workplace, seems to have made some people rather self-oriented.
 

norbitonflyer

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In a similar vein, if you’re waiting to leave the train and there’s people behind you, push the bloody button when it lights up instead of daydreaming.

I’ve had to reach over people once or twice to push the button myself as they were completely oblivious... they may have also got an eye roll off me :D
I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are used to trains where the doors will open without a button push (like the Tube)
 

AM9

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So we should encourage people to drive rather than use the train, because their kids might make a bit of noise during the journey. Seriously?
That's assuming they can drive as well.

I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are used to trains where the doors will open without a button push (like the Tube)
Yes that's confusing for some in Thameslink. The doors are opened automatically at the five core stations but require passenger activation at all others. At a station like St Albans or East Croydon, each just a few minutes from the core but just as busy, somebody who isn't aware of the need to open the doors can get short shrift from the two thirds of the passengers ready to alight there.
 
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Falcon1200

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Top Tip: You know you're getting on a bus - find your bloody ticket whilst you're waiting for it to arrive!

A situation applicable elsewhere, particularly at supermarket checkouts where some shoppers only seem to realise they have to pay for their items when the cashier asks them for money!

A minor but annoying inconvenience on trains is someone claiming they have reserved your seat and trying to turf you out, even though the display shows 'Available', only to find they have the wrong seat, coach, train or even day; All of which I have experienced! Sometimes they apologise, but not always....
 

jfowkes

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Am I the only one who finds this whole thread a massive advert for car travel?

Thinking back to the 90s, I simply don’t recall rail travel being this much aggro. Did people really behave better then, or is it rose-tinted spectacles?

Covid seems to have made things even worse, lots of people with experience of dealing with the public say they find people much more feral now compared to 2019. Months of not interacting with strangers, and possibly in some cases not having to confirm to the behavioural standards required of working in a communal office workplace, seems to have made some people rather self-oriented.

I'm sure there's a car forum out there somewhere with a 5-page long "driving etiquette" thread that makes it seem like car driving and car drivers are equally awful. We do all love to moan.
 

NSE

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These types of threads always remind me how selfish, grumpy and uptight so many people on here are!

One of my pet hates is people moaning about crying children. If the parent is ignoring them, different story, but when they are trying to pacify them and, you know, parent, leave them alone! From my work with children and schools there are so many parents in a financial position whereby they cannot afford a car and have to use the train, if they have to take their child on a peak train to collect siblings from school, make an appointment, suck it up! Kids cry. You did it, I did it.
 

Thebaz

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When there are no seats available DO NOT sit on the luggage rack (sticking your feet out into the gangway at midriff height)
 

stuu

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These types of threads always remind me how selfish, grumpy and uptight so many people on here are!

One of my pet hates is people moaning about crying children. If the parent is ignoring them, different story, but when they are trying to pacify them and, you know, parent, leave them alone! From my work with children and schools there are so many parents in a financial position whereby they cannot afford a car and have to use the train, if they have to take their child on a peak train to collect siblings from school, make an appointment, suck it up! Kids cry. You did it, I did it.
Round of applause

The only people who are allowed to moan about crying babies are people who sprang fully formed as adults from the womb. Kids allowed to run all over the place is a different matter
 

Peter0124

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These types of threads always remind me how selfish, grumpy and uptight so many people on here are!

One of my pet hates is people moaning about crying children. If the parent is ignoring them, different story, but when they are trying to pacify them and, you know, parent, leave them alone! From my work with children and schools there are so many parents in a financial position whereby they cannot afford a car and have to use the train, if they have to take their child on a peak train to collect siblings from school, make an appointment, suck it up! Kids cry. You did it, I did it.
Fair enough but what about in Avanti quiet coaches? Just seems really unfair to allow families with young children and babies in there considering how likely they are to make noise or start crying.

As I suffer with sensory issues it can be distressing to listen to.
 
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AY1975

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The area that looks like a wheelchair space is for wheelchairs. Not your luggage.
Or at least be prepared to move your luggage from it if a wheelchair user (or someone with a pram) needs it.
If you're travelling alone on a busy train, offer the seat next to you to a fellow passenger (instead of insisting on having your luggage, food, mobile offices, feet and other things that have their own purposely designed space and time there).
Conversely, if you see that someone has placed their belongings on the seat next to or opposite them, don't ask them to move their bag or coat or whatever if the train isn't too busy and there's a vacant seat elsewhere. OK to ask them to remove their stuff if the train is busy, though.

In side corridor coaches on heritage railways, avoid going in a compartment that's already occupied by someone else if you can (again OK to do this if the train is busy). This also applied on BR in the days of side corridor stock.

And if you're male and travelling alone (or with another man) avoid sitting too close to a woman who's travelling alone if you can (again sometimes unavoidable on a busy train).
If you've used a toilet with a power door on a train, press the button* behind you to close it after you leave. DO NOT leave it for everyone else to look at (and enjoy your smells) until it closes itself in about 2 minutes.

*=obviously I mean the close button on the outside. I'm not encouraging people to do the Class 333 toilet sabotage trick.
Yes, and when you use the toilet, always leave it as you would wish to find it (some trains have signs to that effect). That is, unless it's already in a rather unsavoury condition. Some people might feel uneasy about picking up used toilet paper or paper towels off the floor to put them in the bin when they might carry someone else's germs, but I always try to do so and then wash my hands thoroughly afterwards.

And don't put anything other than human effluent or toilet paper down the toilet - put used paper towels and other used personal hygiene products in the bin.
 

Stampy

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If I'm sitting at one end of an almost empty carriage don't sit in the seat adjacent to me or the seat immediately in front or behind me. You have several dozen empty seats throughout the rest of the carriage to choose from, so there is no need for you to sit as close as possible to me!

And when you board a train at, for example, Liverpool Lime Street, there is no need to try and cram into the carriage closest to the station concourse because, depending on how busy it is, you will probably end up standing. Walk to the next carriage, or the one after that, or the one after that, where you will find plenty of seats. You might even find yourself in an almost empty carriage, but don't sit right next to me!

I get this on Thameslink trains from Peterborough or at St Pancras International on a return trip..

I'll get on near the front, In a bay of 4...

Then I'll get some idiot coming down the train towarss me who'll TUT, and then just stand there and stare at me, expecting ME to move..
 

fandroid

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There isn't always a solution that works for everyone, but there's a difference between loud music or speakerphone (which the passenger chose to put on) and unavoidable noise. What should a mum do if she needs to travel by train to take her baby to an appointment, and the constant crying may well be related to what the appointment is for!
As a dad and grandad I can assure every childless traveller that the adult with the crying baby absolutely doesn't want it to cry either! Sometimes, they just cry, and every parental trick in the book doesn't seem to work. We're deeply conscious too that others might find it difficult to deal with as well, but escape from the confines of home and travel to family/friends/holiday is part of normal life that everyone is entitled too.

The crying baby problem tends to occur more often on aircraft. The changes of pressure in particular can cause them severe discomfort that they simply don't understand. With everyone confined to a small tube and little chance of moving seat, it can be excruciating for all including the parents.
 

AM9

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I get this on Thameslink trains from Peterborough or at St Pancras International on a return trip..

I'll get on near the front, In a bay of 4...

Then I'll get some idiot coming down the train towarss me who'll TUT, and then just stand there and stare at me, expecting ME to move..
That I would love. There have always been passengers (especially commuters) who have their favourite seats, and treat them as if they have a permanent reservation on them. Those who think that they can bully me with a facial expressions will be disappointed, and most of them are far too cowardly to actually say anything.
 

contrex

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I can distinctly recall wondering what "Living off immoral earnings" meant (Stephen Ward). I would have been 2.
I was a precocious four-year-old and asked my mother what 'adultery' was, having just on on the wireless that Sophia Loren had been charged with it. My mother said 'er, it's when a grownup gets married when they are already married to someone else'. I already knew that was called bigamy, but something held me back from mentioning that. Another time I asked my dad what "soliciting' was, having found a court report in the South London Press. 'Why do you want to know?' he asked. I replied 'Because Mrs X (his tenant in the downstairs flat) has been fined for it'. Also Mr X, her husband, for drunk and disorderly in the same issue! With our address included!!! Dad was already annoyed with them because their teenage daughter had scratched 'I love Elvis' on the wall by the front door, and, as they stopped paying rent soon after that, he kicked them out with a Notice to Quit he bought from a stationers shop.
 

Mikey C

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These types of threads always remind me how selfish, grumpy and uptight so many people on here are!

One of my pet hates is people moaning about crying children. If the parent is ignoring them, different story, but when they are trying to pacify them and, you know, parent, leave them alone! From my work with children and schools there are so many parents in a financial position whereby they cannot afford a car and have to use the train, if they have to take their child on a peak train to collect siblings from school, make an appointment, suck it up! Kids cry. You did it, I did it.
With the price of train tickets, a lot of families would find it cheaper to go by car...
 
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