Breastfeeding Mother Forced to Stand on Train

UP13 · 8 Sep 2018

TheSel said:
Far too much here about the rights and wrongs of chivalry, manners, politeness, courtesy and so on.

What about the poor infant in all this? I'll bet he was feeling a right tit!

Indeed.

RailUK Forums

UP13 · 8 Sep 2018

Ianno87 said:
Have you ever breastfed a baby? You *can't* wait to feed them, and why should ahe have to? That's the point of breastfeeding - available on tap whenever

Quite. I also get angry when people suggest women should breastfeed in toilets. I don't eat my dinner in there so why should my baby?

NoOnesFool · 8 Sep 2018

UP13 said:
Quite. I also get angry when people suggest women should breastfeed in toilets. I don't eat my dinner in there so why should my baby?

But you wouldn't eat your dinner with your breasts out...

UP13 · 8 Sep 2018

NoOnesFool said:
But you wouldn't eat your dinner with your breasts out...

I might be topless at the beach, a swimming pool or a barbecue...

Pete_uk · 8 Sep 2018

She wants to be treated equally, so why should she get special treatment.

I've seen women breastfeed while stood up anyway

UP13 · 8 Sep 2018

Pete_uk said:
She wants to be treated equally, so why should she get special treatment.

I've seen women breastfeed while stood up anyway

If men could breastfeed then they should be considered too.

Equality doesn't work when women do things like pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding when men don't. We don't do anything even comparable.

VauxhallandI · 9 Sep 2018

trainophile said:
Isn't the problem that unless the request is directed to a particular seated passenger everyone expects someone else to offer? I am mid-60s and feel more entitled to my seat than most younger folk nearby, if that makes me selfish then so be it. If I was that woman it would be tricky to pick on someone to ask for their seat, and embarrassing to put out a general request as it makes everyone in the vicinity feel awkward and starts everyone looking at eachother.

As for the women/men thing - this is a generalisation obviously, but women tend to be carrying more "stuff" (quite apart from infants) than men, who often only have a phone in their hand, while a woman usually has at least a bag and often a shopping bag as well. It could be argued that they shouldn't carry so much, but (generalisation alert 2) they are often responsible for feeding their male partner so need to do shopping! Also like it or not (most) women are still physically the weaker sex - for physiological reasons apart from anything else, and may be suffering from certain regular conditions that don't afflict men.

Women have shopping bags, brilliant.

Ianno87 · 9 Sep 2018

Pete_uk said:
She wants to be treated equally, so why should she get special treatment.

I've seen women breastfeed while stood up anyway

It's still bloody hard work to do so.

NoOnesFool said:
But you wouldn't eat your dinner with your breasts out...

I give up, I really do.

trainophile · 9 Sep 2018

Johngill100 said:
Women have shopping bags, brilliant.

I take that as sarcasm. Fair enough, but standing on most trains does require holding on to some support either while travelling or approaching stations. Most men have both their hands free, most women don't.

VauxhallandI · 9 Sep 2018

trainophile said:
I take that as sarcasm. Fair enough, but standing on most trains does require holding on to some support either while travelling or approaching stations. Most men have both their hands free, most women don't.

It was sacrcastic but not for that reason.

Women shop, men don't - surely you would have bought her a little run around for her chores?

Intermodal · 9 Sep 2018

trainophile said:
I take that as sarcasm. Fair enough, but standing on most trains does require holding on to some support either while travelling or approaching stations. Most men have both their hands free, most women don't.

The fact you do not see anything untowards about your comments of woman always shopping and being responsible for feeding their partners is the most alarming thing.

This is an incredibly outdated view that simply does not apply to a very large section of the population in 2018.

You tried to defend your sexist point with more sexism. :rolleyes:

Bletchleyite · 9 Sep 2018

trainophile said:
Isn't the problem that unless the request is directed to a particular seated passenger everyone expects someone else to offer?

That's nominally the point in priority seats - it makes it obvious who the request is aimed at.

Bletchleyite · 9 Sep 2018

UP13 said:
If men could breastfeed then they should be considered too.

A bloke holding a baby feeding with a bottle is probably the closest equivalent, and I'd suggest he would have an equal claim on a seat.

Ianno87 · 9 Sep 2018

Bletchleyite said:
A bloke holding a baby feeding with a bottle is probably the closest equivalent, and I'd suggest he would have an equal claim on a seat.

I've been offered when holding my young'un (not even feeding or anything) - most notably on Paris Metro Line 14! Even if I politely decline the offer, it's genuinely nice feeling to have had the offer made.

Geezertronic · 9 Sep 2018

Ianno87 said:
It's still bloody hard work to do so.

Must be even harder work to take a selfie at the same time but yet the blogger succeeded in doing so

Ianno87 · 9 Sep 2018

Geezertronic said:
Must be even harder work to take a selfie at the same time but yet the blogger succeeded in doing so

Only about 1% more effort than you're putting in already...

I've seen my wife feed for hours on end to the point of sheer exhaustion, so please come to this debate better informed...

Geezertronic · 10 Sep 2018

Ianno87 said:
Only about 1% more effort than you're putting in already...

I've seen my wife feed for hours on end to the point of sheer exhaustion, so please come to this debate better informed...

Maybe it is you that needs to be better informed if you think that this woman had any other reason than to make a mountain out of a molehill with her sense of entitlement. She does the plight of women no good at all, especially if the reports of her refusing a seat first are accurate. You say 1% more effort, then why take a picture standing up breastfeeding? I hope the train was not in motion at the time as she could have caused her and the child injury if she had shifted position due to the ride of the train

You also need to be better informed if you think you are the only one who has had a wife breastfeed children (notice the plural there...) and is entitled to a male opinion on the subject.

e27002 · 10 Sep 2018

DarloRich said:
A seat should be offered to any standing lady or elderly person at the very least.

One broadly agrees. I am 66 and feeling some of the effects of later life. However, I would offer my seat to someone older than me, someone of obviously need of it, or to a woman over thirty. I honestly feel my need is greater than that of a younger woman. If rebuffed by "I hope you are not doing this because I am a woman", I reply:
"Oh no, it's because I am a gentleman".

AndrewP · 10 Sep 2018

My approach is based on common courtesy - if I feel someone needs a seat more than me then they can have it and if there is something obvious then I will offer it (the baby on board badges in London are a godsend).

If I feel someone needs a seat but asking them might cause offence or damage their pride (the two are different) I will slope off to a different part of the train without saying anything and it works virtually all the time.

I don't judge need based on gender, age or anything other than my perception.

I would also like it if more people ask (with a good reason) as sometimes you just can't see the need and its not a problem

Breastfeeding Mother Forced to Stand on Train

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