Union St
Member
Hello my fellow Light Pacific enthusiasts. Some of you might remember that way back in January I began a post concerning a railway trip from Southampton to Wembley, but you might also remember that, with your help, it was changed into a trip from Southampton to Waterloo. The basis of my asking for your expert assistance was my writing of a novel concerning a gold bullion robbery in 1963. Well, I have completed the FIRST DRAFT of that novel. Since you chaps were so worldly (not just in all things railways), but in such disparate subjects as London beers, commercial vehicles, early-60's English candy, pigeon fancying and more, I was wondering if any of you might be interested in reading this early draft and giving me some criticism?
I need to add some facts before we go too far:
1. THIS IS ONLY AN EARLY DRAFT, so there are plenty of grammatical errors, slips in continuity, passive verbs and all sorts of other errors. So, I'm not asking for a spell-checker, or a Copy Editor. I will pay for them later.
2. The draft is about 80,000 words, a not very long novel.
3. I am very interested in errors you might find in plot, the physical things of 1963, the misuse of language in 1963, etc. (For example, I cannot find anywhere the use of the term 'Old Bill' for the police that early). Reading another book recently, I found the author saying "the Waterloo station", which the English would never say. She also said of the court, "Old Bailey", because that's the name of the road, but in fact, the English would much more likely say "The Old Bailey".
4. Frustratingly for the reader, you will find the characters not yet fully developed. I tend to do that later.
5. What can I offer you? Not much. My gratitude, your name in the acknowledgements page, a free signed copy when it is published [hopefully later this year]).
6. I would prefer some feedback - if anyone accepts - within, say, a month.
7. If you are interested, please PM me. I will choose one or two people (if that many reply).
8. I've attached a very quickly made guess of the cover, not that it adds much.
So, anyone up for a bit of reading? If you remember, trains only pop up in one chapter, so I don't want to give the impression this is all about trains.
Thank you in advance.
Sean
I need to add some facts before we go too far:
1. THIS IS ONLY AN EARLY DRAFT, so there are plenty of grammatical errors, slips in continuity, passive verbs and all sorts of other errors. So, I'm not asking for a spell-checker, or a Copy Editor. I will pay for them later.
2. The draft is about 80,000 words, a not very long novel.
3. I am very interested in errors you might find in plot, the physical things of 1963, the misuse of language in 1963, etc. (For example, I cannot find anywhere the use of the term 'Old Bill' for the police that early). Reading another book recently, I found the author saying "the Waterloo station", which the English would never say. She also said of the court, "Old Bailey", because that's the name of the road, but in fact, the English would much more likely say "The Old Bailey".
4. Frustratingly for the reader, you will find the characters not yet fully developed. I tend to do that later.
5. What can I offer you? Not much. My gratitude, your name in the acknowledgements page, a free signed copy when it is published [hopefully later this year]).
6. I would prefer some feedback - if anyone accepts - within, say, a month.
7. If you are interested, please PM me. I will choose one or two people (if that many reply).
8. I've attached a very quickly made guess of the cover, not that it adds much.
So, anyone up for a bit of reading? If you remember, trains only pop up in one chapter, so I don't want to give the impression this is all about trains.
Thank you in advance.
Sean
