Scrooge TV news bulletin, issued at 00:02 on 25 December 2013.
"We regret to inform viewers that Santa may be very late today. He was arrested for speeding in a 20 mph zone in the London area, and when tested, he was found to have an alcohol content 100 times the legal limit for sleigh driving. His helpers hope that he may be released on bail later today."
Bulletin issued at 12:30. "We are pleased to report that Santa has been released on bail. Unfortunately, present distribution cannot proceed, as the unattended reindeer were stolen, and it is understood that reindeer steak may be on the menu at some less reputable eating places. Much Beeching Railfreight have agreed to deliver all the presents within the next 2 weeks. "