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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you
- Thread starter py_megapixel
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I’ve just bought a new sack of dog meal from my local supplier. I couldn’t help noticing that the label states the product hasn’t been tested on animals. What really?!!! Maybe when my dog has had his dinner tonight I’ll send them a message to say I’ve tested their product on him, hopefully with no ill effects.
Maybe you should personally test it on a human first then!
Strat-tastic
Established Member
I should know by nowNow you're expecting language to make sense...
Your dog is a guinea pig
dangie
Established Member
Pozidriv & Phillips crosshead screws plus associated screwdriver bits.
Yes I know there is a difference, and I know what the difference is (Google is your friend), but does DIY really need two standards? Can’t we just have slotted screws & crosshead screws?
Yes I know there is a difference, and I know what the difference is (Google is your friend), but does DIY really need two standards? Can’t we just have slotted screws & crosshead screws?
not forgetting Torx screws…
dangie
Established Member
I omitted Torx & Hexagon as they have their own obviously different shaped heads. Can’t really get them mixed up.
When I’m rummaging through my jumbled up boxes of screws I hopefully find one/some of the size I want. Then I open up my screwdriver set and have to choose from 20 or more different crosshead bits until I find one that’ll do he job. Whether it’s actually the ‘right one’ I haven’t a clue.
Just have the one standard cross head with different sizes. It works for slotted headed screws……
It can be done. I know somebody (usually very practical) who gave up trying to change a bicycle part with a hex key multitool and took the problem to the local bike shop. They promptly fixed the problem using Torx. We then found the multitool did have the required Torx bit tucked away under the hex keys.
Purple Train
Established Member
Am I allowed to ban assorted idiots in not enough clothing from photobombing my pictures of the cold North Sea coast? Every time I take a picture to illustrate how nice and cold it is, there's always one, completely undermining me!
Whistler40145
Established Member
Why can’t light bulbs have a standard fitting?
61653 HTAFC
Veteran Member
dangie
Established Member
News websites e.g. BBC News which use stock images which may or may not relate directly to the story but look good for effect.
For example. On BBC this morning there’s report on deaths climbing Mount Everest. The report mentions the queues of climbers. There is a picture from Getty Images. The picture doesn’t say where the image was taken. It could have been Everest, or it could have been somewhere else. As the caption doesn’t say where it is I’m guessing it’s somewhere else. Journalism for effect.
For example. On BBC this morning there’s report on deaths climbing Mount Everest. The report mentions the queues of climbers. There is a picture from Getty Images. The picture doesn’t say where the image was taken. It could have been Everest, or it could have been somewhere else. As the caption doesn’t say where it is I’m guessing it’s somewhere else. Journalism for effect.
Mount Everest: Deadly season puts focus on record climbing permits
Twelve climbers have died and five remain missing, amid worries about overcrowding and climate change.
www.bbc.co.uk
Mcr Warrior
Veteran Member
- Joined
- 8 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 12,051
Think it might well be Everest. If not, I reckon that it could possibly be gold prospectors ascending the Chilkoot Pass in the Yukon (Alaska) in c. 1898.
Gloster
Established Member
News websites e.g. BBC News which use stock images which may or may not relate directly to the story but look good for effect.
For example. On BBC this morning there’s report on deaths climbing Mount Everest. The report mentions the queues of climbers. There is a picture from Getty Images. The picture doesn’t say where the image was taken. It could have been Everest, or it could have been somewhere else. As the caption doesn’t say where it is I’m guessing it’s somewhere else. Journalism for effect.
Mount Everest: Deadly season puts focus on record climbing permits
Twelve climbers have died and five remain missing, amid worries about overcrowding and climate change.www.bbc.co.uk
What do you suggest instead? There is both the journalistic necessity of having a photo that will attract a potential reader’s attention and the cost, in time and money, of having a long discussion to decide which photo to illustrate a minor story. Yes, you could have pictures of people who died on Everest recently: do you think that would be a good idea? Or would readers be attracted to a wodge of plain text?
Of course there are plenty of instances where the photo is pure eye-bait, usually ones consisting of semi-clad young women, fast cars, exotic locations, etc., that have nothing to do with the story. But putting a library picture like this up is quite reasonable (in my opinion).
nlogax
Established Member
I've always thought this particular XKCD should be a sticky post or something. Constantly relevant and appropriate.
The local news (Reach plc) are currently illustrating an article about the future of Radlett aeordrome with a picture of Elstree.
(The latest round in the battle over the proposed rail freight terminal.)
birchesgreen
Established Member
Don't get me started on stock imagery...
61653 HTAFC
Veteran Member
I'd like to ban either the Amazon driver in charge of my delivery, or their supervisor who planned their route. Tracking them on the app I can see that they passed within a hundred yards of my flat but didn't bother to drop my delivery off, and proceeded to f*** off to a completely different part of the county!
If they weren't so cheap (and so dominant in the field of online retail), Amazon would really struggle with such abysmal service.
If they weren't so cheap (and so dominant in the field of online retail), Amazon would really struggle with such abysmal service.
dangie
Established Member
But when you can order something late in the evening and it’s delivered the next day I call that a pretty good service. The question is, did you get your delivery?
bearhugger
Member
Royal Mail also plan stupid routes for their rounds. There's a 1.5 mile stretch of road that I drive up and down three times. It used to be four times. And then managers used to winge about the size of the diesel bills!
Authors of fiction representing on the page, their characters -- for whatever gimmick-type reason -- as consistently and throughout, "talking funny". I have just encountered this annoyance, slightly to my cost. Various authors produce exciting-action novels set in our Navy in the Napoleonic Wars: I came across one such who was new to me -- Dewey Lambdin, whose hero is Captain Lewrie. It would appear that this chap comes from a unusually humble level of society, for a naval captain: to signal this, the author represents his speech with lots of letters dropped. An abbreviated sample: "Is it askin' too much, d'ye imagine, sir, that... the greater failure or shame? -- admittin' the rebel slaves beat 'em like a rug, and surrenderin' t'them -- or..." The first three pages were enough for me -- the book's 850-odd pages, full of this stuff, didn't bear thinking about. This author goes right on my black-list; and, a waste of £2 to the charity shop -- which in the circumstances, one shouldn't begrudge; however ...
The desire is great in me, to forbid fiction authors to indulge in this particular kind of idiocy, in any context. For heaven's sake, don't tie yourselves in knots this way -- distracting the hell out of the reader -- to indicate characters' accents: write the dialogue in standard modern English, and have faith in the reader's being able to understand that the original might have sounded a bit different.
The desire is great in me, to forbid fiction authors to indulge in this particular kind of idiocy, in any context. For heaven's sake, don't tie yourselves in knots this way -- distracting the hell out of the reader -- to indicate characters' accents: write the dialogue in standard modern English, and have faith in the reader's being able to understand that the original might have sounded a bit different.
dangie
Established Member
People who avoid fines (in this case a parking fine) due to a technicality, when it’s quite clear they committed the ‘crime’. It seems to me if the parking company was at fault for incorrect notices, they should maybe have had a fine, but so should the guilty party. She could read English.
I’m sure most of us wouldn’t have been so lucky.
I’m sure most of us wouldn’t have been so lucky.
Welsh language: Driver wins case over English-only parking fine
A parking firm has lost a case against a driver after she requested the details of a fine in Welsh.
www.bbc.co.uk
One thing I have noticed about Amazon drivers is when they deliver near me the driver drops off at a house, gets in his/her van & drives 2 house’s further along to drop at the next house. Seems a waste of time & fuel.
61653 HTAFC
Veteran Member
My delivery finally arrived this afternoon. As it turns out, business customers are prioritised which is why my delivery driver from yesterday suddenly headed off to Bradford. Just wish they'd be honest about it, rather than claiming they (the company, not the driver) tried to deliver it at 10pm which was a blatant lie.
On the plus side they've ended up sending two of one of the items but only charged me for one. A shame it's something I only need one of and can't easily sell on (a cool box for an insulin pen).
dangie
Established Member
Annoyance.
Currently approximately 2 hours into a 6 day coach holiday. Already one passengers mobile phone is driving me (and probably others) mad. Drink stop soon, I think 'diplomatic' words are called for.
Currently approximately 2 hours into a 6 day coach holiday. Already one passengers mobile phone is driving me (and probably others) mad. Drink stop soon, I think 'diplomatic' words are called for.
PeterY
Established Member
- Joined
- 2 Apr 2013
- Messages
- 1,319
That's the one thing now that really grinds me, is having to listen to others peoples music, played on mobile phones.
Techniquest
Veteran Member
Agreed with that. No need for such nonsense.
My main entry for this list in recent months has to be the screaming kids do. They've shrieked for a long time running around playgrounds and such like, but this is a whole new level. One of my colleagues' description is that 'someone's murdering a child again'. Which is pretty much what it sounds like! Why they have to make that noise I just don't know, it's beyond silly and it offends the ears so badly!
I'd also ban people sneezing into their hands then handling fresh produce. The greengrocer in Cherries and Berries in Hereford did just that yesterday, safe to say that I didn't go anywhere near the place for any fruit and veg as a result!
Dogs running around without a leash on public shared paths is another one from me.
Oh and people who strim their hedges with a hedgecutter but then cover the pavement in their trimmings. Yes, thanks, that was really nice of you!
Let's not mention the vile woman who gave me verbal abuse for not following a dodgy cycle path into the city centre this week, when I was going in the completely opposite direction!
Matey
Member
Women, usually large and overweight, on buggies who hurtle out through shop doorways regardless of anyone approaching.