Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Peter C]

I like https://www.startallback.com/ to preserve some of the look and feel of earlier Windows versions

Ah thank you! I'll have to give that a look. I'm not usually too fussed about what Windows looks like, but when they change the functions I use regularly I get irritated!

-Peter

 

[Gloster]

I know this will be contentious to some, but I don't think the charity for assisting Armed Forces' veterans being named 'Help for Heroes' is appropriate either. The naming was probably inevitable once the Sun newspaper got behind the plans drawn up by a couple who'd witnessed discrimination against some ex-soldiers in a public swimming pool, but implying that all servicemen and servicewomen are heroes just because they signed up is ludicrous. If my father was still alive I know he'd be even more vehement, and he spent the whole of the war in the Royal Tank Regiment and for many years afterwards in the Territorial Army in Westminster.

There is also the point that up to 1960 you didn’t get much choice whether you were going to be a hero: you were conscripted. More recently, although there are plenty of people who did enlist to be in order to do something worthwhile, there were plenty who did it purely to get out of the life they were in: wider considerations were not considered. And I am including those well-heeled gentlemen who failed to get anywhere near acceptance by a ‘decent’ university, joined the army, got sponsored through university and then bought themselves out.

Yes, of course those who have risked and suffered should get fair, even generous, treatment and there should be no fiddling bureaucratic definitions of what a hero is. But accept that the members of the armed forces do a wide variety of tasks, some totally lacking in heroism and don’t all put themselves in places of personal risk.

To give an example. Should we regard as a hero the chap from Ryde who joined the Marines, broke out of camp during his basic training as he wanted to go his girlfriend’s birthday party and didn’t get back to camp until Monday afternoon. (The party was on Saturday night, but he missed the ferry back on Sunday: they are hourly and he could probably have left up to 18.00.). Her Majesty then decided she could dispense with his services.

Plenty of people put themselves in danger all the time, but the advantage of the forces for politicians is that they can tie them in with flag waving. I don’t mean to be trivial, but nobody ever consider railway track maintenance staff as heroic, even though there used to be a fairly high casualty rate. And of course, if the public rally round and raise money for the heroes, that saves the government a bit.

 

[Calthrop]

On the mustard thing, I'd ban people who carry their own condiments around with them to use when eating out, or even worse when a guest in someone else's home. It's just weird and in the latter case especially, quite rude.

The things I've learned via this forum - I've never heard of people doing that.
I'll be watching other diners like a hawk, from now on...

I unashamedly carry my tube of mustard around with me, when I'm lucky enough to have one (and, @bspahh, thank you). I do so, only in a context of eating out (largely, humble places -- not the Ritz); as told of in my post #6,667: a fair number of outfits seem to provide various jazzing-up-of-food offerings, but not mustard -- I personally wouldn't take such measures, in an instance of being a meal-guest of someone with whom I was acquainted.

No, that is an acceptable use for certain types of character in works of literature, including those who display traits that are not true heroism, although I don’t think it should be used of 'bad' characters (define as you will), even if they are major characters and have some positive traits.

(My bolding) -- the standard appellation on this scene, for such characters, is "anti-hero" -- not so? A bod of this kind -- dear to my heart in an odd way, and one about whom, and about the books, I can wax tedious -- is Harry Flashman in the novels by George MacDonald (sp?) Fraser. In these, "Flashy" is anti-hero and first-person narrator: his one and only positive trait, is his total candour and honesty in his (often hilarious) narratives, as to what a complete rotter and appalling human being he has been, throughout his long life. Thanks to this, I can't but have a -- completely undeserved -- soft spot for him.

 

[bspahh]

I unashamedly carry my tube of mustard around with me, when I'm lucky enough to have one (and, @bspahh, thank you). I do so, only in a context of eating out (largely, humble places -- not the Ritz); as told of in my post #6,667: a fair number of outfits seem to provide various jazzing-up-of-food offerings, but not mustard -- I personally wouldn't take such measures, in an instance of being a meal-guest of someone with whom I was acquainted.

You might appreciate this "Americans underestimating British condiments" video on Colman's mustard https://twitter.com/paul_haine/status/1766386912128795000

 

[Calthrop]

You might appreciate this "Americans underestimating British condiments" video on Colman's mustard https://twitter.com/paul_haine/status/1766386912128795000

The lady seemed to have definitely mixed feelings -- should for sure, not have "put a tablespoon of mustard" on the sandwich that she made... I think that we Brits are apt, in turn: to regard the American idea of mustard, as miserably insipid stuff.

 

[jon81uk]

What annoys me is that the whole plastic recycling thing is a sham, promoted mainly by the manufacturers who use them, and this is just another kind of virtue signalling. Yes, I "recycle" my plastic and it gets collected by the council and taken away, where it is unlikely to be recycled because it's either burned or sent to a foreign country which puts them into landfill.

[citation needed]

What evidence do you have for that? There are plenty of videos of recycling sorting centre

and of the places that recycle them

plus new facilities keep getting built https://www.letsrecycle.com/news/europes-largest-plastic-bottle-recycling-facility-opens/

 

[Drogba11CFC]

People who pay with card at the CASH till.

 

[Gloster]

Too clever adverts that miss the point. On the end of a bus shelter is an advert ‘Do bus shelter adverts work? This one just did.’, which tries to suggest that because you noticed the clever comment, so will others notice your adverts. Which misses the point that the only reason they have space available to put this advert up on is because nobody is buying space on the end of bus shelters…possibly because they don’t work.

 

[dangie]

Too clever adverts that miss the point. On the end of a bus shelter is an advert ‘Do bus shelter adverts work? This one just did.’, which tries to suggest that because you noticed the clever comment, so will others notice your adverts. Which misses the point that the only reason they have space available to put this advert up on is because nobody is buying space on the end of bus shelters…possibly because they don’t work.

It puzzles me that ad-men/women will say that if you notice or read an advert it has done its job. Well that’s ok, I’ve noticed it, but would it tempt me to buy the product, usually not.

 

[jfollows]

The media and statistics should be banned, they're so bad at it.

I'm looking at a chart, a wiggly line, and an arrow to a high point "1,860% increase" it says.

Why doesn't it say "more than 18 times increase" which seems significantly clearer to me? Plus it's a less precise figure which is actually more appropriate in the context.

Is there some media "edict" that percentages have to be used at all times, even when it's silly? Or is it because the author thinks "1,860% increase" looks bigger and more dramatic? It's probably this, in spite of meaning that a significant percentage (!) of viewers won't understand it whereas "more than 18 times increase" is a lot easier to understand.

I guess it's because in the end the majority of "media types" couldn't pass Mathematics O-level or GCSE or whatever .......

 

[Richard Scott]

It puzzles me that ad-men/women will say that if you notice or read an advert it has done its job. Well that’s ok, I’ve noticed it, but would it tempt me to buy the product, usually not.

Possibly not but it has made you aware of the product so who knows in the future....

 

[61653 HTAFC]

People who pay with card at the CASH till.

The fact that there are card-only tills.

If I'm at the front of the queue in a supermarket, and the self-checkout that comes free first is one that takes cash, I'm (a) not able to allow someone behind who needs to pay cash to go first, due the the narrow queuing area; (b) not going to pay by cash just to appease those queuing behind me; and (c) not going to be held responsible for the daft policies of the store management.

 

[jon81uk]

The fact that there are card-only tills.

If I'm at the front of the queue in a supermarket, and the self-checkout that comes free first is one that takes cash, I'm (a) not able to allow someone behind who needs to pay cash to go first, due the the narrow queuing area; (b) not going to pay by cash just to appease those queuing behind me; and (c) not going to be held responsible for the daft policies of the store management.

The express/local supermarkets near work only have card-only self-checkouts. If you really want to pay cash you queue up for the single staffed till with all the people waiting to collect parcels and do other stuff.

 

[dangie]

Ferrero Rocher Chocolate

Not the chocolates themselves, they’re extremely nice. It’s the aftermath.

No matter how much you brush your teeth, floss, rinse out your mouth, there’s always bits of nut lodged somewhere.

 

[DM352]

Unnecessary rural road speed limit reductions including singling rural dual carriageways that reduce capacity. Examples A449 Hartlebury, A38 by M6 Toll.

 

[ABB125]

Unnecessary rural road speed limit reductions including singling rural dual carriageways that reduce capacity. Examples A449 Hartlebury,

To be fair with this one, the A449 has a rather poor alignment along this stretch: either very bendy with minimal forward visibility (the bit where only northbound is a single lane, just south of Ombersley), or frequent at-grade right turns with no safe space in the central reservation for vehicles to wait whilst waiting for a gap in traffic on the opposing carriageway (north of Ombersley).

A38 by M6 Toll.

This one is of course absolutely nothing to do with "encouraging" people to use the toll road, instead of the (formerly free-flowing) free, high quality alternative...

 

[gg1]

IKEA assuming I would only want to track the delivery I'm currently waiting for on my phone.

The confirmation text message contains a tracking link which allows me to see exactly how far away their driver is, the email doesn't. If I copy the full URL (including the long series of characters at the end which uniquely identify my parcel) from my phone, email it to myself then open on my PC it works perfectly fine.

Why not just put the tracking link in the confirmation email to save the faff?

 

[al78]

[citation needed]

What evidence do you have for that? There are plenty of videos of recycling sorting centre

and of the places that recycle them

plus new facilities keep getting built https://www.letsrecycle.com/news/europes-largest-plastic-bottle-recycling-facility-opens/

I don't think it is the recycling itself that is seen as a sham, it is the promotion that it is making more difference than it really is, because the stuff you send to the recycling centre is just the tip of the waste iceberg. Way more waste and pollution was generated upstream manufactuing the stuff you bought before you recycled it (and is out of sight out of mind). Hence there could be unintentional consequences from people thinking they are environmentally virtuous, such as not bothering to look at their over-consumption (because they think recycling compensates), which is by far one of the biggest contributors to environmental degradation if not the biggest. A bit like people signing up for a green energy tarrif then undoing any benefit by whacking up the heating so they can lounge around in T-shirts in January, or buy a more efficient car then significantly increase their mileage.

 

[Richard Scott]

I don't think it is the recycling itself that is seen as a sham, it is the promotion that it is making more difference than it really is, because the stuff you send to the recycling centre is just the tip of the waste iceberg. Way more waste and pollution was generated upstream manufactuing the stuff you bought before you recycled it (and is out of sight out of mind). Hence there could be unintentional consequences from people thinking they are environmentally virtuous, such as not bothering to look at their over-consumption (because they think recycling compensates), which is by far one of the biggest contributors to environmental degradation if not the biggest. A bit like people signing up for a green energy tarrif then undoing any benefit by whacking up the heating so they can lounge around in T-shirts in January, or buy a more efficient car then significantly increase their mileage.

Hit nail on the head here. Many don't realise that there's a big pollution consequence from purchasing goods in the first place.
Things like car scrapped schemes drive me mad as they're not helping the environment at all.

 

[Busaholic]

Ferrero Rocher Chocolate

Not the chocolates themselves, they’re extremely nice.

You think so?! I find them a triumph of clever marketing, admittedly several decades ago now, over taste, which always disappoints.

 

[nlogax]

You think so?! I find them a triumph of clever marketing, admittedly several decades ago now, over taste, which always disappoints.

Nowt clever about that bloody ambassador and his parties. "Monsieur, wit siz Rocher you are rilly spoileeng urzz". Wish I could ban the memory of that ad.

 

[Busaholic]

Nowt clever about that bloody ambassador and his parties. "Monsieur, wit siz Rocher you are rilly spoileeng urzz". Wish I could ban the memory of that ad.

But you've said it, you remember the ad!! It obviously wasn't aimed at the likes of you and me, who cringed, but it did the trick, just like that alleged wine Piat d'Or and, to a lesser extent, Nicole, Papa and the Renault Clio. Did the latter persuade me to buy two Clios in succession? Well, no, I'd had a much loved Renault 5 until it was destroyed by a drunk driver!

 

[dangie]

You think so?! I find them a triumph of clever marketing, admittedly several decades ago now, over taste, which always disappoints.

Each to their own. I like them

 

[nlogax]

But you've said it, you remember the ad!! It obviously wasn't aimed at the likes of you and me, who cringed, but it did the trick, just like that alleged wine Piat d'Or and, to a lesser extent, Nicole, Papa and the Renault Clio. Did the latter persuade me to buy two Clios in succession? Well, no, I'd had a much loved Renault 5 until it was destroyed by a drunk driver!

That was just one of thousands of ad memories that continue to live rent-free in my head. I was going to say I've rarely been swayed by advertising, then remembered the first new car I bought was a Clio in the mid 90s which was firmly in the middle of the Nicole & Papa era..so..yeah..

 

[jon81uk]

I don't think it is the recycling itself that is seen as a sham, it is the promotion that it is making more difference than it really is, because the stuff you send to the recycling centre is just the tip of the waste iceberg. Way more waste and pollution was generated upstream manufactuing the stuff you bought before you recycled it (and is out of sight out of mind). Hence there could be unintentional consequences from people thinking they are environmentally virtuous, such as not bothering to look at their over-consumption (because they think recycling compensates), which is by far one of the biggest contributors to environmental degradation if not the biggest. A bit like people signing up for a green energy tarrif then undoing any benefit by whacking up the heating so they can lounge around in T-shirts in January, or buy a more efficient car then significantly increase their mileage.

just because some people are idiots doesn’t mean one thing that can be done is pointless.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Can we ban (mostly) Americans from saying "...on accident" in place of the correct and more normal-sounding "...by accident"? Hearing it makes me want to beat them over the head with a large-print, hardback copy of the Complete Works of Shakespeare.

 

[43096]

Banksy.

His latest effort and everyone is falling over themselves to say how wonderful it is: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68596824

The other view is that this is vandalism and encourages others to do the same. I bet there wouldn’t be the same fawning response if someone else had created it.

 

[Purple Train]

Can we ban (mostly) Americans from saying "...on accident" in place of the correct and more normal-sounding "...by accident"? Hearing it makes me want to beat them over the head with a large-print, hardback copy of the Complete Works of Shakespeare.

Absolutely!

 

[Ostrich]

In similar vein, can we ban politicians and celebs using the word "ter" instead of "to"?

It is not the Queen's English.

Innit.

 

[CaptainHaddock]

People who wear headphones outdoors, especially those massive over ear ones that make them look like DJs.

If you wear them in an urban area you’re putting yourself at risk of dangers such as pickpockets, traffic and bumping into people, if you’re doing it in a rural area you’re missing out on the wonderful sounds of nature.

I know it’s a sign of the times that so many young people like to live in an online bubble and are terrified of interacting with strangers in the outside world but if you wear headphones outdoors you just come across as arrogant, ignorant and aloof.